The Decameron, Volume II

by Giovanni Boccaccio

thereason of his jealousy, and gotten from him nought precise, but onlygeneralities and trivialities, resolved at last to give him cause enoughto die of that evil which without cause he so much dreaded. And beingware that a gallant, whom she deemed well worthy of her, was enamoured ofher, she, using due discretion, came to an understanding with him; whichbeing brought to the point that it only remained to give effect to theirwords in act, the lady cast about to devise how this might be. Andwitting that, among other bad habits that her husband had, he was toofond of his cups, she would not only commend indulgence, but cunninglyand not seldom incite him thereto; insomuch that, well-nigh as often asshe was so minded, she led him to drink to excess; and when she saw thathe was well drunken, she would put him to bed; and so not once only butdivers times without any manner of risk she forgathered with her lover;nay, presuming upon her husband's intoxication, she grew so bold that,not content with bringing her lover into her house, she would at times gospend a great part of the night with him at his house, which was not faroff.

  Now such being the enamoured lady's constant practice, it so befell thatthe dishonoured husband took note that, while she egged him on to drink,she herself drank never a drop; whereby he came to suspect the truth, towit, that the lady was making him drunk, that afterwards she might takeher pleasure while he slept. And being minded to put his surmise to theproof, one evening, having drunken nought all day, he mimicked never sodrunken a sot both in speech and in carriage. The lady, deeming him to bereally as he appeared, and that 'twas needless to ply him with liquor,presently put him to bed. Which done, she, as she at times was wont, hiedher forth to her lover's house, where she tarried until midnight. Tofanono sooner perceived that his wife was gone, than up he got, hied him tothe door, locked it, and then posted himself at the window to observe herreturn, and let her know that he was ware of her misconduct. So there hestood until the lady returned, and finding herself locked out, wasannoyed beyond measure, and sought to force the door open. Tofano let hertry her strength upon it a while, and then:--"Madam," quoth he, "'tis allto no purpose: thou canst not get in. Go get thee back thither where thouhast tarried all this while, and rest assured that thou shalt neverrecross this threshold, until I have done thee such honour as is meet forthee in the presence of thy kinsfolk and neighbours." Thereupon the ladyfell entreating him to be pleased to open to her for the love of God, forthat she was not come whence he supposed, but had only been passing thetime with one of her gossips, because the nights were long, and she couldnot spend the whole time either in sleep or in solitary watching. But hersupplications availed her nothing, for the fool was determined that allArezzo should know their shame, whereof as yet none wist aught. So as'twas idle to entreat, the lady assumed a menacing tone, saying:--"Sothou open not to me, I will make thee the saddest man alive." WheretoTofano made answer:--"And what then canst thou do?" The lady, her witssharpened by Love, rejoined:--"Rather than endure the indignity to whichthou wouldst unjustly subject me, I will cast myself into the well hardby here, and when I am found dead there, all the world will believe that'twas thou that didst it in thy cups, and so thou wilt either have toflee and lose all that thou hast and be outlawed, or forfeit thy head asguilty of my death, as indeed thou wilt be." But, for all she said,Tofano wavered not a jot in his foolish purpose. So at last:--"Lo, now,"quoth the lady, "I can no more abide thy surly humour: God forgive thee:I leave thee my distaff here, which be careful to bestow in a safeplace." So saying, away she hied her to the well, and, the night being sodark that wayfarers could scarce see one another as they passed, she tookup a huge stone that was by the well, and ejaculating, "God forgive me!"dropped it therein. Tofano, hearing the mighty splash that the stone madeas it struck the water, never doubted that she had cast herself in: so,bucket and rope in hand, he flung himself out of the house, and camerunning to the well to her rescue. The lady had meanwhile hidden herselfhard by the door, and seeing him make for the well, was in the house in atrice, and having locked the door, hied her to the window, and greetedhim with:--"'Tis while thou art drinking, not now, when the night is farspent, that thou shouldst temper thy wine with water." Thus derided,Tofano came back to the door, and finding his ingress barred, beganadjuring her to let him in. Whereupon, changing the low tone she hadhitherto used for one so shrill that 'twas well-nigh a shriek, she brokeout with:--"By the Holy Rood, tedious drunken sot that thou art, thougettest no admittance here to-night; thy ways are more than I can endure:'tis time I let all the world know what manner of man thou art, and atwhat hour of the night thou comest home." Tofano, on his part, now grewangry, and began loudly to upbraid her; insomuch that the neighbours,aroused by the noise, got up, men and women alike, and looked out of thewindows, and asked what was the matter. Whereupon the lady fell a weepingand saying:--"'Tis this wicked man, who comes home drunk at even, orfalls asleep in some tavern, and then returns at this hour. Long and tono purpose have I borne with him; but 'tis now past endurance, and I havedone him this indignity of locking him out of the house in the hope thatperchance it may cause him to mend his ways."

  Tofano, on his part, told, dolt that he was, just what had happened, andwas mighty menacing. Whereupon:--"Now mark," quoth the lady to theneighbours, "the sort of man he is! What would you say if I were, as heis, in the street, and he were in the house, as I am? God's faith, Idoubt you would believe what he said. Hereby you may gauge his sense. Hetells you that I have done just what, I doubt not, he has done himself.He thought to terrify me by throwing I know not what into the well,wherein would to God he had thrown himself indeed, and drowned himself,whereby the wine of which he has taken more than enough, had been wateredto some purpose!" The neighbours, men and women alike, now with oneaccord gave tongue, censuring Tofano, throwing all the blame upon him,and answering what he alleged against the lady with loud recrimination;and in short the bruit, passing from neighbour to neighbour, reached atlast the ears of the lady's kinsfolk; who hied them to the spot, andbeing apprised of the affair from this, that and the other of theneighbours, laid hands on Tofano, and beat him till he was black and bluefrom head to foot. Which done, they entered his house, stripped it of allthat belonged to the lady, and took her home with them, bidding Tofanolook for worse to come. Thus hard bested, and ruing the plight in whichhis jealousy had landed him, Tofano, who loved his wife with all hisheart, set some friends to work to patch matters up, whereby he did infact induce his lady to forgive him and live with him again, albeit hewas fain to promise her never again to be jealous, and to give her leaveto amuse herself to her heart's content, provided she used suchdiscretion that he should not be ware of it. On such wise, like the churland booby that he was, being despoiled, he made terms. Now long liveLove, and perish war, and all that wage it!

  NOVEL V.

  --A jealous husband disguises himself as a priest, and hears his own wife'sconfession: she tells him that she loves a priest, who comes to her everynight. The husband posts himself at the door to watch for the priest, andmeanwhile the lady brings her lover in by the roof, and tarries with him.--

  When Lauretta had done speaking, and all had commended the lady, for thatshe had done well, and treated her caitiff husband as he had deserved,the king, not to lose time, turned to Fiammetta, and graciously bade hertake up her parable; which she did on this wise:--Most noble ladies, theforegoing story prompts me likewise to discourse of one of these jealoushusbands, deeming that they are justly requited by their wives, moreespecially when they grow jealous without due cause. And had ourlegislators taken account of everything, I am of opinion that they wouldhave visited ladies in such a case with no other penalty than such asthey provide for those that offend in self-defence, seeing that a jealoushusband does cunningly practise against the life of his lady, and mostassiduously machinate her death. All the week the wife stays at home,occupied with her domestic duties; after which, on the day that is sacredto joy, she, like every one else, craves some solace, some peace, somerecreation, not unreasonably, for she craves but what the husbandmen takein the fields, the cra
ftsmen in the city, the magistrates in the courts,nay what God Himself took, when He rested from all His labours on theseventh day, and which laws human and Divine, mindful alike of the honourof God and the common well-being, have ordained, appropriating certaindays to work, and others to repose. To which ordinance these jealoushusbands will in no wise conform; on the contrary by then most sedulouslysecluding their wives, they make those days which to all other women aregladsome, to them most grievous and dolorous. And what an affliction itis to the poor creatures, they alone know, who have proved it; for whichreason, to sum up, I say that a wife is rather to be commended thancensured, if she take her revenge upon a husband that is jealous withoutcause.

  Know then that at Rimini there dwelt a