The Relic Box Set

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The Relic Box Set Page 40

by Ben Zackheim


  “Be right there!” I yelled back.

  The big guy lunged at my neck but found himself swallowing my Glock instead. Before I could squeeze the trigger, another Vamp jumped at me from behind his buddy. I pushed the pistol further into his gullet and tried to line the shot up just right.

  Boom.

  Bingo.

  One bullet, two headless Vamps.

  I stumbled toward Rebel who waved her arms like I was running a race.

  “Come on!” she screamed, a little too much desperation in her voice.

  I scrambled up the dumpster, kicking off a midget Vamp just as he was about to bite into my ankle. I managed to roll toward Rebel when she jumped over me and landed in the middle of the swarm.

  She thrived in hand-to-hand combat. I preferred having some distance. So with my newfound perspective atop Mount Disgusting Fish and Shit Smell, I got off a few shots.

  That had been her plan. She wanted me to get to a place where I could find my aim and she could get her hands filthy.

  She knocked a Vamp in the cranium with a board and then lunged into the air as she kept her grip on the wood. Apparently, the board had a nail in it and the nail was firmly embedded in the Vampire’s jawbone because she swung around him like a carousel from hell.

  She introduced her boot soles to the soulless and five of them stumbled back onto their asses.

  I looked around for the emperor. He was usually hard to miss. A giant man, six-five at normal height, shoulders as wide as a car, and dreads that distracted the shit out of you when you were trying to hit him in the face.

  But he did a great job hiding in that alley somehow.

  I pumped three Vamps full of jacketed ammo. They were getting a little too close to Rebel.

  Another one dropped from a fire escape toward my partner, but he was leaking brains by the time his limp body hit the pavement.

  I saw a huge shadow move above me. It floated from one rooftop to the other.

  I knew that shape.

  The emperor.

  “Cover me!” I yelled.

  “Dammit, Kane!” she yelled. “We have to get back on mission here!”

  But she jumped back into the thick of it and I closed my eyes.

  Concentrated.

  Breathed deep.

  The air around me ripped open and a yellow glow lit the alley. It was much brighter than usual. I didn’t have time to think about it, though.

  I slipped into the Swap Portal and instantly dropped onto the roof of the building. My Swap Portal allowed me to swap places with anyone in the world. I’d go to where they were and they’d go to where I was.

  It was handy in a whole mess of ways. Especially if I knew where my enemy was hiding.

  My plan was to swap places with the emperor. Maybe he’d be surprised to find himself transported on top of the dumpster. And maybe that would give me the split second I needed to snipe him from above.

  But I didn’t swap with the emperor.

  Instead, I dropped onto the building’s roof and I stood face to face with him.

  Chapter 4

  “Hello, again,” the emperor said, his lips parted and his fangs slithered out. His purple eyes lit up like a couple of camera flashes.

  I drew my Beretta Pico from my belt, but it was too late.

  He had me.

  I’d heard of the Vampires’ power to hypnotize but I’d never seen it in action before. I thought it was a myth. But, as I stood there, helpless, unable to move, I knew it was as real as the fangs aiming for my neck.

  “How did you find us?” he asked.

  “Spotted you from the street,” I said, not wanting to. My eyes went wide.

  He laughed. “That’s right, Arkwright. You can’t move and you’re compelled to tell me the truth.”

  “I think you’re an asshole. I imagine you smell like wet deer. I think your mom would be very disappointed in you.”

  “Clever,” he said, his smile fading into one of those twisty little things that usually meant its wearer was about to disembowel something. “But you can keep telling me truthful things as much as you want. When I ask a question you’ll have to answer it.”

  “Like what happens when an immovable force meets an unstoppable object?”

  “No,” he said. He took a step toward me.

  “Like why do they make the word ‘detergent’ so small on detergent bottles?”

  “Stop stalling. Were you looking for us?”

  “No,” I said.

  “What were you doing here?”

  “Seeing the city with my eyes,” I said, trying to be truthful and answer the question, without giving away our mission.

  “Also clever. For a human. Were you on a mission?”

  “Yes.”

  “To do what?”

  “Rid the world of Vampires who smell like wet deer.”

  “What mission were you on tonight with your partner when you spotted us?” His voice was loud. It rang in my head. He was losing his patience.

  “To store the shield in a safe place, goddammit!”

  “And where would that be?”

  “The Chrysler Building.”

  “Ah, yes,” he said. His focus on me shifted to the old skyscraper in the distance.

  So close but so out of reach.

  “Powerful place,” the emperor said, turning away from me. “What’s in there? Another portal of some kind?”

  “I don’t know.” I was trying to limit the truthfulness but it sucked the air out of me to put up a fight. It’s hard to explain what it’s like to have your brain open to a Vampire. Anything you think can and will be used against you.

  “Are you still working for Spirit?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Still following those dinosaurs, are you?” He glanced over his shoulder at me, a sparkle in his purple-irised eye. “So they tell you to jump and you ask off which roof?”

  “Actually, yeah it does kind of work out like that.”

  “Give me the shield,” he said, taking two large steps toward me. I could smell his bloody breath as it flowed over my face.

  “No way, asshole,” I said.

  “How do I open your portal?” he asked.

  “Are you hitting on me?”

  “How do I open your Vault Portal?”

  “You can’t,” I said. “Only I can.”

  “You can have your partner’s life for the shield. Choose.”

  I focused all of my strength on my trigger finger. My Beretta Pico was still in my hand. I didn’t have much control over my body but I managed to aim down at the floor beneath us.

  If I could just find the strength to squeeze.

  The Beretta fired.

  The pain sent me into a sea of darkness. Spotted with more fucking purple.

  I could tell that I fell. But for a split second that’s all I could process.

  By the time I opened my eyes, his spell over me had been broken.

  And my foot was pouring blood all over the roof.

  I screamed. The pain was incredible.

  I’d wanted to weaken the roof under our feet. Maybe we’d fall through and I’d have a chance to escape. It was a long-shot idea. Spur of the moment thing.

  In hindsight, the plot of an idiot…

  The emperor stood still, a looming silhouette against the dim stars.

  “Fuck,” he said simply. “That looks painful.”

  I couldn’t speak through the screaming. If I made it through the night, I vowed to find a wizard who could cast an Invulnerable Foot spell because I never wanted to feel that pain again.

  I waited for him to strike. I even managed to spit out something like, “Get it over with, asshole,” or “Get on with it, fucker,” though it probably came out as, “GRAAAAARGH!”

  He knelt beside me, his eyes glowing faintly, directed at my throat. “Unless you have a very good Healer, you’ll be out of my hair for awhile.”

  “I don’t know,” I said through gritted teeth. “That’s so
me big fucking hair you have there.”

  “Give me the shield. It belongs to me and my people, by rights.”

  I couldn’t respond to him, even if I’d wanted. The pain was so intense, it took everything I had just to stay conscious.

  He stood quickly and patted himself off. He backed away a few steps.

  “Go to the Chrysler Building. Do your job. We’ll be watching.”

  Then he flew off.

  I spotted a dozen more Vamps take to the sky, their bodies blocking the stars for fleeting moments before they disappeared on the city’s high horizon.

  Great, now we had to do our jobs with Vamps waiting to steal our glory. I knew that the moment I opened my portal to take the shield out, the undead would be all over me. I knew I’d better be prepared next time.

  I wasn’t sure how we were going to pull this off.

  I dragged myself toward the edge of the building.

  “Kane!” Rebel yelled from below.

  “Here!” I yelled back as I scoped out the alley below.

  Rebel had someone in a headlock, her fingers streamed blood all over the woman’s face.

  But I recognized her.

  It was Tabitha. Rebel had the queen of Vampires all wrapped up.

  Chapter 5

  “Rebel,” I managed to yell. “Let her go!”

  Tabitha may have been the wife of the emperor, but she was no ally of his. She’d betrayed him in Iceland and saved our lives in the process.

  No way was she with them.

  Rebel either didn’t remember that little fact, or she decided she didn’t care because she just didn’t like Tabitha. At all.

  Tabitha didn’t resist. I knew she could get out of the headlock on her own, but she was letting Rebel have her way for some reason.

  “What do you want, Tabitha?” I asked. She couldn’t talk with a vise-grip around her chatterbox.

  “She was the one you swapped with, Kane,” Rebel yelled up at me. “She was hiding on the roof while we were fighting down here.”

  “Rebel, ease up,” I said.

  Rebel loosened her grip, but she didn’t let go.

  “I wasn’t hiding,” Tabitha said. “I was stalking.”

  “Okay, why are you stalking us?” I asked. The throbbing pain in my foot surged. I think I whimpered.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Rebel asked me.

  “I shot myself in the fucking foot,” I said, dark spots dancing around my vision.

  “You idiot. When did you plan on telling me?”

  “I can help him,” Tabitha said. She lifted Rebel over her head in one smooth move and slammed her into a dumpster.

  “Rebel!”

  Before I knew it, Tabitha was standing over me. I rolled on my back to face her.

  “Let me help you, Kane” she said.

  Did I know what she meant by that? Did I understand the offer? I still don’t know.

  “Rebel,” I mumbled. I wanted her to show up and save me from doing something stupid.

  “Rebel will be fine,” Tabitha said. “I’m the jealous type, but no man is worth killing for. Kane, will you let me help you?”

  Hurry up, Rebel, I thought.

  “Okay,” I said.

  I was blacking out. Between waves of darkness, I saw her bite into her wrist. Blood poured from the wound.

  I heard Rebel’s voice somewhere in the distance. She sounded so far away. She called out my name. I heard the rattle of the fire escape as she climbed toward me.

  I tasted Tabitha’s blood as it flowed into my mouth.

  Just a little.

  Just a taste.

  My eyes popped open. I took in a deep breath and felt more than oxygen enter my body. I felt energy from the world around me and from the world underneath.

  Everything came alive.

  Every color was clear. Every dim star in the sky was bright.

  I shook my head and blinked hard. I tried to make sense of what I was sensing but it was hard.

  Tabitha looked down at me. She didn’t smile. But I could see it. I could see that she was relieved.

  The hole in my shoe was still there. The blood was still splashed on my pants.

  But the hole in my foot was gone. I’d seen powerful healing spells before. But I’d never seen the flesh restored to its original state.

  “Holy shit,” I said, standing.

  “I wouldn’t call it holy,” she said.

  Then Tabitha smiled and I didn’t see the vampire queen anymore. I saw the person she’d been before she was undead. She glanced away. She didn’t want me to see her that way.

  She lifted her chin up and the cold veneer reappeared.

  “What the fuck did you do?” Rebel yelled. She climbed over the edge of the building from the fire escape.

  “I saved his foot, Rebel,” Tabitha said. “He’ll be fine.”

  “I wasn’t talking to you, queenie. I was talking to my partner, so just keep your fangs out of this.”

  “I was…” I started. Then I stopped. I had no answer. Both of them waited. But it was hard to focus. I could smell Rebel’s hair. I could hear Tabitha’s lips part. I felt amazing. “I was blacking out,” I continued. “Bad choice. I made a bad choice.” I actually wanted to say, Can I have some more blood, please? but thought better of it at the last second.

  “She didn’t give you much of a choice, did she?” Rebel asked.

  “She did,” I said. “She asked me.”

  “And you let her feed you that swill?”

  Tabitha did not like that comment. She let out a small growl, like a cat warning you to nix the petting party. She managed one last sliver of civility when she said through gritted fangs, “I wanted to help him.”

  “I could have helped him!” Rebel yelled.

  “Like you helped Coleslaw?” Tabitha asked.

  Ouch.

  Tabitha was the one who killed our friend, Coleslaw, right in front of my partner. So blaming Rebel for his death was not very polite.

  I knew that expression on Rebel’s face.

  She could go from gorgeous to savage in a split second — and Tabitha had pushed the button.

  Rebel introduced her boot heel to Tabitha’s head. The Vampire queen rolled past me and landed in a crouching position.

  “Dammit, Rebel,” I said.

  “That’s for Coleslaw, bitch,” she said, clenching her fist.

  “I didn’t want to kill him,” Tabitha managed to say between clenched fangs.

  “Yeah, Kane told me you have to balance out the fucking universe or some bullshit like that,” Rebel growled. “I like to balance the universe too.”

  Her splayed fingers flashed ten long fingernails, sharp as razors.

  She ran full speed at the queen.

  Tabitha flew straight up. Any other opponent would have missed her by several feet. But Rebel was not your typical opponent. She used a large air vent to launch a leap that took her ten feet up.

  And on her way down she snagged the floating Vamp’s ankle.

  Rebel pulled Tabitha down to the rooftop and swung her like an axe into the pebble surface.

  “Not a good use of our time, ladies!” I shouted.

  Rebel started to swing the queen in circles. Tabitha tried to get a grip but her hands scraped over the surface.

  She flipped around on her back and used her free foot to smash Rebel’s fingers.

  Rebel screamed. I really hoped that hadn’t broken a nail.

  “You broke a nail, asshole!”

  Rebel was furious. But Tabitha was too. Her face showed signs of the Frenzy. Her lips thinned and her fangs grew. Her brow slipped down over her eyes and her pupils went black.

  She looked amazing.

  “Okay, now things are getting kind of hot,” I said.

  Both women looked at me.

  “What?”

  They lunged at each other, grabbing the other’s shoulders. Rebel dug her claws into Tabitha and the queen snapped her fangs at Rebel. I could hear the queen�
��s flesh tearing and as it went on her shrieks grew more rageful.

  The Frenzy kicked in.

  Rebel was thrown across the rooftop like a rag doll.

  “Oh, shit,” Rebel said, scrambling to her feet.

  “What did you expect?” I yelled. I managed to get to my feet.

  I walked slowly toward Tabitha. Toward the woman whose blood flowed through me now.

  “Shoot it!” Rebel yelled.

  “I’m not shooting her,” I said, holding my hands out and trying to show Tabitha that I didn’t mean her any harm.

  “She killed Coleslaw! She’s a Vampire. She’s the fucking queen vampire! Shoot her!”

  “We need her,” I said.

  “I’m pretty goddamn sure I don’t need her for shit,” Rebel said.

  “Tabitha,” I said. “It’s me. Big misunderstanding here. Can you hear me?”

  The Vampire growled like she was a wounded animal. Her shoulders dripped blood on the ground.

  “You’re leaking lunch all over the floor,” Rebel said with a smirk.

  Tabitha growled louder and took a fast, big step toward us.

  “Not helpful, Rebel. Tabitha! Here. Look here. I need you. I need your help. Can you help me?”

  I needed to treat her like a wounded wolf. She may respond well to empathy, a soft voice, but there was the risk that she could interpret it as weakness and go for the jugular, the easy meal.

  Her pupils started to return to normal. Her brow rose back to its familiar perch above her eyes.

  She still breathed hard, her chest heaving up and down. I noticed Rebel was breathing just as deep.

  “You,” I said to Rebel, pointing to the other side of the roof. “Over there. Now.”

  Rebel looked like she wanted to punch me but she backed up to the corner of the roof. She pulled out her Wakizashi blade from its sheath on her back. She was ready to get it on again so I had to be careful about what I said. And so did Tabitha, but she wasn’t in the most diplomatic mood at the moment.

  “I...” Tabitha said. I waited.

  “What is it, Tabitha?”

  She turned her back to us and walked to the edge of the building.

 

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