by Abbi Glines
“No, but the old Beau wasn’t horny,” I shot back with a wink and splashed water in her face. Her familiar laughter made my chest ache a little.
“Point taken. I guess having someone built like Nicole all over you is a little distracting. I can see where an old friend would rank under getting laid.”
If I’d known Ashton had wanted it at any point I would have pushed Nicole aside and given her my undivided attention. But most of the time she was wrapped in Sawyer’s arms and I needed the distraction Nicole provided.
“Nicole isn’t very modest,” I replied, trying to lay the blame on her.
The dimple I’d been fascinated with since the day I’d met Ashton appeared as she gave me a full smile.
“Nicole doesn’t even know the definition of the word modest. Now, the word vulgar, I’m pretty sure she’s got a grasp on.”
Was it my wishful thinking or did she sound jealous of Nicole?
“Nicole’s not so bad. She just goes after what she wants,” I replied, wanting to test Ashton’s reaction.
An annoyed frown came over her face and she stiffened. I couldn’t keep the smile from forming on my lips. I liked the fact it bothered her when I defended Nicole.
“You’ve got bad taste in women, Beau Vincent,” she replied. I watched her swim over to the pier and pull herself out to sit on the edge, giving me an extremely pleasant view of her barely covered ass. It took me a minute to remember what we’d been talking about. Ashton’s wet body on display was all my single-minded brain seemed to focus on. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and remembered her comment about my bad taste in women.
“I suppose Sawyer has better taste?” I asked and swam over to join her. She frowned and bit her bottom lip. That hadn’t been the response I was expecting. I’d meant to make her smile.
“Maybe because I don’t rape him in public, but we both know he could do better.”
What the hell did that mean?
“You think so.” I managed to sound casual.
She glanced over at me with a sad little smile. The late afternoon sun was directly behind her, causing the long blonde curls framing her face to softly glow. The effect made her resemble an angel. Untouchable unless you were the perfect Sawyer Vincent.
“I’m not blind, Beau. I’m not saying I think I’m ugly. I know I’m passably cute. I’ve got good hair and my complexion isn’t bad. I don’t have big blue eyes or long lashes but my eyes aren’t bad. I’m not exactly exciting or striking. Sawyer is perfect. It’s hard to believe he wants me sometimes.”
I turned away from her, afraid the incredulous expression on my face would tell her more than she needed to know. I wanted to tell her how her green eyes made guys want to defend her or the way her sweet pink lips were mesmerizing or how that one single dimple caused my pulse rate to soar. I wanted to point out how those long, tanned legs caused guys to trip over themselves and when she wore tight shirts I fought the urge to go cover her up so every male who saw her wouldn’t go home and jack-off with her image in their head. But I couldn’t say any of those things.
Forcing my expression to remain casual I glanced back at her. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Sawyer didn’t just choose you because of your looks.” That’s all I needed to say.
She sighed and leaned back on her hands. I had to turn my head away from her again before my eyes could zero in on her tits. I didn’t need to study them to know they were perfectly round, soft, plump, and tempting as hell.
“I’m not always good. I try really hard to be good. I want to be worthy of Sawyer, I really do, but it’s like there is this other me inside that is trying to get out. I fight it but I’m not good at it all the time. Sawyer has to keep me in line.”
Keep her in line? Wait . . . what? Shaking my head to clear my thoughts from how sweet her nipples would be, I forced myself to focus on what she was saying instead of how she would taste. She didn’t think she was good enough for Sawyer? Had Sawyer made her think something was wrong with her? Surely he didn’t know she felt this way.
“Ash, you’ve been nothing but perfect since you decided to grow up. Sure, you used to help me put frogs in people’s mail boxes but that girl’s gone. You wanted to be perfect and you achieved it.”
She laughed and sat back up. I chanced a glance over at her. The dimple was there as she gazed down at the water.
“If you only knew,” was all she said.
“Tell me.” The words are out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Why?”
Because I want you. Just you. The girl I know is in there, hiding from the world. I want my Ash back. I couldn’t say it like that. She’d see too much. I had to protect myself.
“Because I’d like to know you aren’t so perfect. I’d like to know the girl I once knew was still in there somewhere.”
She laughed again and pulled her legs up to rest her chin on.
“There’s no way I’m admitting all my faults to you. Considering most of them are just in my thoughts and I’ve never acted on them.”
“I’m not asking for your deep dark secrets, Ash. I just want to know what you could possibly do wrong that makes you feel Sawyer’s got to keep you in line.”
Her cheeks turned pink but she kept her eyes straight ahead. After a few minutes of silence I stood up and stretched.
“That’s fine. I don’t really need you to tell me how you don’t always remember to take the buggy back to the return place in the parking lot or you don’t make it to the nursing home every week.”
I started to walk away, angry at myself for sounding like a jerk.
“Those are things Sawyer has to help me remember . . . but I wasn’t exactly referring to them.”
She said it so softly I almost didn’t hear her. I stopped and turned back to her. She was peering up at me through her wet eyelashes.
“I’m just like any other teenage girl. I envy Nicole because she can be who she wants to be. I can’t. But it isn’t Sawyer’s fault. I’ve never been able to give in to those urges. My parents expect me to be good.”
“You want to be like Nicole?” I asked in horror. She laughed and shook her head.
“Not exactly. I don’t desire to vomit on myself and be carried inside my house drunk . . . or be known as a slut. But just once I’d like to know what it feels like to do more than just kiss. To be touched.” She stopped and turned her gaze back toward the water. “Maybe to know what the thrill of sneaking out of my house feels like or how it feels to be wanted by someone so desperately they can’t help themselves when they kiss me. Maybe, to just feel desirable.” She stopped again and covered her face with both her hands. “Please forget I said all that.”
Talk about an impossible request. I was having a hard enough time breathing.
She let her hands drop away from her face and turned her guilt-ridden expression back up to me. The lost look in her eyes was killing me. I wanted to assure her nothing was wrong with her. I wanted to show her exactly how insane she made me. She stood up.
“So now you know my secrets, Beau. Just like old times. I think that makes us friends again, huh?” The smile on her lips trembled.
Fuck me.
“Yeah, I’d say it does,” I replied as regret consumed me.
Chapter 3
Ashton
I watched as my parents’ mini-van backed out of the driveway before picking up my phone and texting Beau.
Me: Would u like to come watch a movie at my house?
My heart started racing in my chest. What was I doing? I’d already blurred the lines today at the hole. I should have never talked with Beau about secret desires. But just thinking about the intense gleam in his eyes as I’d explained what I wanted to experience made my body flush with excitement.
Beau: Ur parents?
He knew my parents well enough to know they would never be okay with me spending time with him. I hated how everyone assumed the worst about Beau. Just because his momma was trash didn’t mea
n he was. He had the same blood in him that Sawyer did.
Me: Out of town 2night
My dad had planned a surprise weekend getaway for my parents’ anniversary. I’d known about it for a week, but he’d just told my mom this afternoon. They were both safely on the road to Birmingham now.
My phone rang, startling me so badly I dropped it. Scrambling to pick it up, I worried it may be Sawyer. I’d never be able to keep the guilt out of my voice if I had to talk to him.
It was Beau.
“Hello,” I said.
“I’ll leave my truck at the park and walk to your house through the woods. Leave the back door unlocked.”
He didn’t want anyone to see his truck here. I knew it was for my benefit. It was probably best he didn’t park outside my house. He was just my friend but . . . he was also a boy. A bad boy. Ashton Gray doesn’t have boys over while her parents are away.
“Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”
“It is.” His deep voice made me feel all tingly inside.
“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I replied.
“Yeah,” he said before he hung up. I stared down at the phone; I was torn between excitement and fear. I was going to get to spend more time alone with Beau. I’d missed him. Being able to be honest with someone was nice. I didn’t have to pretend. Then there was also the fact I liked the way his eyes sent shivers over my body as he stared at me. There was something wicked about Beau that drew me to him. What was wrong with me? Why did I want to sin so badly?
I dropped the phone on my bed and headed for the shower. I wouldn’t think about the rule I was breaking. This wasn’t anything bad. It was a small rule if you thought about rules in general. I mean, there were bigger rules I could break. Besides, I needed to break some rules before I went crazy.
A light knock on the back door sent the butterflies flapping around in my stomach into a frenzy. I heard the latch in the door as it opened and closed. I quickly slipped on a white eyelet sundress. After trying on several other more casual outfits I’d decided I wanted to look nicer. The sundress was short with spaghetti straps so it looked casual enough for a movie night, maybe . . . sort of. I studied my bare feet. I’d just painted my toes cotton candy pink and decided to stay barefoot. Even more casual.
I headed down the hall to greet my guest. The oxygen entering my lungs stalled when I saw Beau standing in the kitchen. Black had always looked good on him but having him stand in my kitchen in a tight black T-shirt and a pair of low-riding jeans made me a little dizzy. It dawned on me I was holding my breath.
“Hey,” I managed to say, mentally cringing at the breathless sound in my voice.
He nodded and gave me a small smile before walking over to the fridge and opening it. “I’m thirsty. Can I have a Coke?” he asked without looking back at me.
“Um, yeah, sure. I ordered pizza too. It should be here in a few minutes. If you’re hungry.”
He closed the fridge door and opened the can of Coke in his hand then took a swig.
“I’m always hungry,” he replied.
“Okay, good.” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d invited Beau to my house to watch a movie. Now he was here in all his mouth-watering glory and I didn’t know what to say. He walked toward me, grinning.
“Relax, Ash. It’s just me.” He nodded his head toward the living room. “Let’s go see what kind of movie selection you’ve got these days.”
Swallowing nervously, I turned and headed to the living room. This was a bad idea. I was acting like an idiot. This wasn’t the way friends acted. If I wanted him to be my friend I needed to start acting like one and not a love-struck moron.
“I rented two movies from the Red Box. If you don’t like either, you can pick from the ones I have in my room but I’m warning you now they are mostly romantic comedies. The ones I rented are probably more your speed.”
I kept my back to him because my cheeks were getting warm and I hated the idea of him seeing me blush. I was being so silly. I reached for the two action movies I’d rented and started to turn around to show him when he moved in behind me. I froze. My body went on high alert and I took several gulps of air.
“Let me see.” His mouth was surprisingly close to my ear. Then his arm reached around me and he snatched the movies from my grasp. When our hands brushed, I sucked in a quick breath. For a second he paused then moved away quickly. My crazy behavior had to be making him uncomfortable.
“Good choice. I’ve been wanting to see both of these but Nicole and I don’t normally watch movies.”
Nicole’s name sounded like a reminder for me.
I pivoted around on the balls of my feet. “Okay, good. Well, pick one and put it in. I’m going to go get my money before the pizza gets here.”
But first I am going to splash cold water on my face and calm down. I didn’t wait for his response before I fled the room.
The doorbell rang while I was shuffling through my purse for money. The delivery guy would probably be someone from school. Beau answering the door didn’t sound like the best idea. I rushed out of my bedroom door and came face to face with Beau. Or more accurately, face to chest. A very yummy-smelling chest. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
“I’ll wait here while you pay,” he said in a low whisper. I nodded and stepped around him.
The moment I opened the door I was instantly relieved Beau was hiding. It was a starting lineman on the football team, Jimmy Noles.
“How’s it going, Ashton?” Jimmy asked, smiling.
“Um, good, thanks.”
“I guess you’re missing Sawyer.”
I nodded. “Yes, I am.” I handed him the money. “Keep the change and thanks.”
His grin got bigger. “Cool, thanks Ashton. See ya around.”
I returned his smile and closed the door.
Beau stepped out of the hallway. “That smells good.”
It did smell good but I doubted I could actually eat. Beau took the box out of my hand and walked over to the couch and set it down on the coffee table.
“I’ll get some paper plates,” I said, wishing I didn’t sound so nervous.
He started opening the box. “Don’t get one for me but a paper towel would be good.”
Beau managed to eat most of the pizza before I forced down one slice. I’m glad he didn’t feel awkward by my crazy behavior. He leaned back on the sofa with his eyes on the movie after wiping his hands on the paper towel. I sat my plate down on a stack of Garden and Gun magazines my dad kept on the coffee table.
“I left you two more pieces. You can’t be full.”
I glanced over at him. “You mean you didn’t stop eating because you were full?”
He shook his head. “No, I was being considerate. I’m never full.”
I leaned back on the sofa. “Eat all you want, I’m done.”
He didn’t lean forward to grab another slice like I expected him to. Instead his attention stayed on me.
“Why did you invite me here tonight, Ash?”
My face flushed. Why had I asked him to come? Answering that question wasn’t easy. Since he’d walked in the door I’d been acting ridiculous. I never seemed to be at a loss of things to say with Sawyer. Beau rattled me. Now, he was being bored to death by the preacher’s daughter while he could be with his sexy hot girlfriend doing all those things I knew nothing about. I was depriving him of an exciting evening. The idea that he’d come tonight to entertain me for his cousin’s sake made me feel awful. He’d been doing me a charity and I couldn’t even make it interesting for him. Well, at least I’d fed him.
“I’m sorry. I guess, I just didn’t want to be alone, but I’m okay. You can go. I know this is dull compared to your normal activities.” I managed a weak smile.
His frown deepened as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, but he didn’t take his eyes off me.
“Being with you isn’t dull. You just seem uncomfortable. If you want me to leave I wil
l. I have a feeling you’re rethinking the having-me-over thing.”
I sighed and let out a small laugh.
“No. I want you to stay. I’ve just never had any guy over here but Sawyer and even then my parents were here. I’m nervous. It’s not that I don’t want you here.”
“Why do I make you nervous?” he asked, watching me.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.
“Hmm. You’re wrong, by the way,” he replied, grinning.
“What?”
“You’ve had other guys here. I used to come here often. Your room still looks the same.”
I smiled. He was right. I just needed to remember this was the same boy who used to lay on my bed with me and watch movies.
He closed the space between us and relaxed as he stretched his arm along the back of the sofa. “I don’t bite, Ash. It’s just me. Promise. Come here and see.”
I studied the crook of his arm, and the idea of snuggling up against him was extremely tempting. But I didn’t think he had that in mind. So instead, I leaned back on the couch, careful not to touch him.
His hand didn’t come around me and pull me closer. It remained on the back of the couch and I hated that I was disappointed.
“Relax and watch the movie,” he said in a soft voice I’d never heard him use before. It made me feel warm and safe.
Beau’s arm eventually slid down to settle on my shoulders. Absently he started tracing small circles on my upper arm. It was almost as if little jolts of electricity were zinging through my body. I hoped he couldn’t tell my breathing was getting erratic. I closed my eyes and fantasized about how it would feel to run my hands under his T-shirt and touch the soft skin that covered his hard chest. I glanced up at him through my lashes and his attention was completely focused on the movie. He had no idea he was driving me crazy.
I slowly moved closer to him until my head was nestled in the crook of his arm. The smell of Irish Spring soap and the outdoors filled my senses. Sawyer always smelled like cologne. I liked soap. I turned my head just enough so I could smell him better. His arm gently tightened around me. He didn’t mean anything by it but it felt so very good. I turned my body toward his side and closed my eyes. My imagination took over and I wondered what it would feel like if he didn’t have this bothersome shirt covering up his chest.
