by Pema Chodron
“Fear” refers to understanding the consequences of giving in to the habitual tug of the kleshas. It is not a fear of anything external; it is the fear of causing our own suffering. We know we don’t want to keep going in that direction, that we want to stop.
“Shame” is a loaded word for westerners. Like most things, it can be seen in a positive or negative light. Negative shame is accompanied by guilt and self-denigration. It is pointless and doesn’t help us even slightly.
Positive shame, on the other hand, is recognizing when we’ve harmed ourselves or anyone else and feeling sorry for having done so. It allows us to grow wiser from our mistakes. Eventually it dawns on us that we can regret causing harm without becoming weighed down by negative shame. Just seeing the hurt and heartbreak clearly motivates us to move on. By acknowledging what we did cleanly and compassionately, we go forward.
5.33
When mindfulness is stationed as a sentinel,
A guard upon the threshold of the mind,
Mental scrutiny is likewise present,
Returning when forgotten or dispersed.
When we do shamatha meditation practice, we are choosing to be awake. Mindfulness is the sentinel that notices when we wander off. It’s not a harsh or judgmental guard, but more like a protector. Mental scrutiny, or alertness, is also present as the impetus to come back. Again and again, the mind will wander away or get forgotten or dispersed, and again and again we gently bring it back.
5.34
If at the outset, when I check my mind,
I find within some fault or insufficiency,
I’ll stay unmoving, like a log,
In self-possession and determination.
Here fault or insufficiency refers to the dullness or wildness of our minds.
When we first sit down in meditation, we can check our state of mind to see what’s going on. If we see dullness or wildness, instead of fueling it with our thoughts, we simply stay awake to whatever is happening, without condemning or succumbing to it. This brings a sense of workability to our practice and makes us feel more self-possessed.
The traditional instruction for working with drowsiness is to perk ourselves up by breathing more deeply and looking slightly upward. When the mind is wild, the instruction suggests remaining in the meditation posture but dropping the technique altogether, along with any sense of struggle. Whatever is happening with our mind, we can see it and make the necessary adjustment. Thus we become our own meditation instructor.
5.35
I shall never, vacantly,
Allow my gaze to wander all about,
But rather with a focused mind
Will always go with eyes cast down.
These are instructions for taming the mind when we’re out and about. If you’ve ever been to Thailand or Burma, you know that the monks there train this way. When they go out for alms, they walk with eyes cast down and never look around. This is mindfulness practice in action: lowering the gaze and making no eye contact. It was probably a standard instruction for the monks at Nalanda. The idea is to lessen distractions and heighten awareness of habitual tendencies.
It can be helpful to create certain times to practice mindfulness in this very undistracted way, being alert to any tendency to get too tight or too loose.
5.36
But that I might relax my gaze,
I’ll sometimes raise my eyes and look around.
And if some person stands within my sight,
I’ll greet him with a friendly word of welcome.
There are times for tight practice; but there is also the need for warmth and awareness of one’s environment. Shantideva instructs the monks not to be aloof. When it’s appropriate to look around and be friendly, one should do just that.
Our guideline is “not too distracted, not too uptight.” If someone along the way is wounded, you don’t just walk by with downcast eyes. If a little child tickles you, you’re not so serious that you can’t laugh. Being awake means acting appropriately.
5.37
And yet, to spy the dangers on the road,
I’ll scrutinize the four directions one by one.
And when I stop to rest, I’ll turn my head
And look behind me, back along my path.
5.38
And so, I’ll spy the land, in front, behind,
To see if I should go or else return.
And thus in every situation,
I shall know my needs and act accordingly.
The point of this training is to not be distracted by our conditioned responses. In this way, we can see clearly what needs to be done and act accordingly. As is said, we care for whatever needs our care and destroy whatever needs to be destroyed. Not blinded by likes and dislikes, enemies and friends, we can see very clearly how to proceed.
5.39
Deciding on a given course,
Determining the actions of my body,
From time to time I’ll verify
My body’s actions, by repeated scrutiny.
Verse 39 refers to training in mindfulness of body. From time to time we take a fresh look at what’s going on with our body and our actions. Without being critical or proud about what we observe, we simply pay attention to what we’re doing.
5.40
This mind of mine, a wild and rampant elephant,
I’ll tether to that sturdy post: reflection on the Teaching.
And I shall narrowly stand guard
That it might never slip its bonds and flee.
The subject of this and the following verses is training in mindfulness of mind. The confused wild elephant of the mind is tethered with the rope of mindfulness and held fast with the hook of alertness.
The sturdy post to which we tether our minds is reflection on the Teaching. We might reflect on cause and effect, on the misery produced by the kleshas, or on the benefit of taming the mind. The point is, when we realize we’re hooked, it is very helpful to teach ourselves the dharma.
5.41
Those who strive to master concentration
Should never for an instant be distracted.
They should constantly investigate themselves,
Examining the movements of their minds.
This verse describes a very tight practice. Traditionally such an approach is compared to walking a plank over a steep ravine: this is how present we try to be. It is balanced by the practice described in verse 42.
5.42
In fearful situations, times of celebration,
One may desist, when self-survey becomes impossible.
For it is taught that in the times of generosity,
The rules of discipline may be suspended.
This is practical advice for the overzealous: a fledgling bodhisattva, for example, who goes to a party and tries to practice tight mindfulness instead of just relaxing and having fun. Such rigid self-observance is too harsh and, in terms of rousing the good heart of bodhichitta, counterproductive.
The best advice for a new bodhisattva is to tame your mind without losing your sense of humor.
5.43
When something has been planned and started on,
Attention should not drift to other things.
With thoughts fixed on the chosen target,
That and that alone should be pursued.
Many of us have the tendency to start things and then get distracted. Like three-year-old children, our minds jump from one thing to another, and our bodies follow.
To tame the wild mind, Shantideva suggests that when you start something, you pursue it to the end. In this age of multitasking, his instruction is radical: calm the mind by doing one thing at a time!
5.44
Behaving in this way, all tasks are well performed,
And nothing is achieved by doing otherwise.
Afflictions, the reverse of vigilance,
Can never multiply if this is how you act.
Afflictions will not multiply if you are fully present. You can test this for yourself. When you’re more awake, do kleshas and confusion deescalate? If the answer is yes, this is a very useful piece of information indeed.
5.45
And if by chance you must take part
In lengthy conversations worthlessly,
Or if you come upon sensational events,
Then cast aside delight and taste for them.
There’s a story in the biography of Trungpa Rinpoche that describes the first time he rode in a car. He was a teenager traveling in Tibet with his teacher, Khenpo Gangshar. The Chinese Communists had begun occupying the country, and the situation was very dangerous. Some people had already been put in prison. Nevertheless, the young Rinpoche was very excited at the prospect of this new adventure.
Khenpo Gangshar, however, took this opportunity to remind him of the power of material forces. If Rinpoche lost himself now and got carried away, he warned him, he would never know what they were up against. This is the kind of wakefulness Shantideva is suggesting here—not some kind of somber rigidity.
Moreover, Shantideva says, we can waste a lot of time distracting ourselves with mindless chatter. I’m reminded of a Native American man from the Taos Pueblo called Little Joe Gomez. In the early seventies, he met some people who were practicing complete silence. They were wearing chalkboards around their necks in case they needed to communicate. This got Little Joe laughing. When someone asked him what was so funny, he said, “Very easy to not talk; very difficult to talk mindfully.” As far as he was concerned, the better practice was to converse consciously.
5.46
If you find you’re grubbing in the soil,
Or pulling up the grass or tracing idle patterns on the ground,
Remembering the teachings of the Blissful One,
In fear, restrain yourself at once.
Tracing idle patterns on the ground refers to doodling. One time during a meeting, I was making little drawings and squiggles on the side of my notebook. Trungpa Rinpoche saw what I was doing and asked, “Did you know monks and nuns aren’t supposed to doodle?” This was, in fact, the first I’d heard of it! Nevertheless, it became obvious to me why we doodle: we aren’t very interested in being present.
This is basic mindfulness training. It may seem a bit extreme to be afraid of doodling or pulling up the grass. But life is short. Instead of strengthening the habits of a wandering mind, let’s train in staying present. In Tibetan the word for meaningless distraction is dunzi. We can waste a whole life with dunzi. This is Shantideva’s point here.
5.47
When you feel the wish to walk about,
Or even to express yourself in speech,
First examine what is in your mind.
For they will act correctly who have stable minds.
You’ve decided to meditate for forty-five minutes, and you’re fifteen minutes into your sitting. Suddenly, you remember something important that you must do. Dunzi has entered the picture. If you fail to acknowledge that tug as just a tug or the thought as just thinking, you’ll find yourself watering the plants or checking your e-mail.
Instead, the initial urge to walk about or phone someone can simply be acknowledged. Without praise or blame, you can touch these thoughts, let them go, and come back to taming your mind.
The Three Disciplines
Vigilance, Part Two
CHAPTER 5 OF The Way of the Bodhisattva continues with a section on the “three disciplines”: not causing harm, gathering virtue, and benefiting others. The first discipline, not causing harm, is introduced in verses 48 through 54. This is the most fundamental instruction for not making a mess of things: the instruction for deescalating the kleshas by “remaining like a log.”
5.48
When the urge arises in the mind
To feelings of desire or wrathful hate,
Do not act! Be silent, do not speak!
And like a log of wood be sure to stay.
5.49
When the mind is wild with mockery
And filled with pride and haughty arrogance,
And when you want to show the hidden faults of others,
To bring up old dissensions or to act deceitfully,
5.50
And when you want to fish for praise,
Or criticize and spoil another’s name,
Or use harsh language, sparring for a fight,
It’s then that like a log you should remain.
Here Shantideva describes being on the verge of getting carried away. There are four places we can interrupt this powerful urge: at the preverbal level; when thoughts are still small; when they’ve already ensnared us; and just before we act out.
Emotional turmoil begins with an initial perception—a sight, sound, thought—which gives rise to a feeling of comfort or discomfort. This is the subtlest level of shenpa, the subtlest stage of getting hooked. Energetically there is a perceptible pull; it’s like wanting to scratch an itch. We don’t have to be advanced meditators to catch this.
This initial tug of “for” or “against” is the first place we can remain as steady as a log. Just experience the tug and relax into the restlessness of the energy, without fanning this ember with thoughts. If we stay present with the rawness of our direct experience, emotional energy can move through us without getting stuck. Of course, this isn’t easy and takes practice.
The second opportunity for staying steady and alert is when our thoughts are underway but haven’t gained momentum. By interrupting thoughts before we get worked up, we diffuse the intensity of emotions. Emotional intensity can’t survive without our thoughts, so this is a pivotal instruction.
If we don’t catch these subtle thoughts, our emotions escalate. Nevertheless, this is the third place we can remain like a log; we can let the story line go even after the emotional heat has started to rise. It’s never too late to interrupt the escalation of the kleshas.
The fourth place we can hold our seats is just before we take the fatal step of speaking or acting out. Shantideva addresses this stage in verse 48: his advice is, “Do not act! Be silent, do not speak!”
The sooner we interrupt this predictable chain reaction the better. At the preverbal stage of getting hooked, emotions are less enticing. They are still quite workable at the early stage of the thought process. By dissolving thought here, the klesha urge has no fuel and can’t expand or become explosive.
When you feel the sting of an insult, for example, you don’t have to magnify it with your thoughts or buy into a story line that works you into a rage. Just acknowledge the thoughts and let them fade away. Then abide with the sharpness and bite of your experience.
If you do get stirred up and the drama gets well under way, you can still interrupt the process. It’s definitely more difficult, but it’s possible.
The final instruction—to refrain from words or actions—points to the easiest place to notice the urge, but the hardest time to refrain. Now the shenpa pull is so strong, it feels irresistible. Nevertheless, the instruction remains the same: let go of the thoughts and relax with the underlying energy.
The practice of “remaining like a log” is based on refraining, not repressing. When you realize you’re thinking, just acknowledge that. Then turn your attention to your breath flowing in and out, to your body, to the immediacy of your experience. Doing this allows you to be present and alert, and thoughts have a chance to calm down.
With this practice, it can be helpful to gently breathe in and out with the restlessness of the energy. This is a m
ajor support for learning to stay present. Basic wakefulness is right here, if we can just relax. Our situation is fundamentally fluid, unbiased, and free, and we can tune into this at any time. When we practice “remaining like a log,” we allow for this opportunity.
The basic message is this: instead of turning up the heat and bringing your emotions to a boil, add some cool refreshing water to the mix and the shenpa charge will subside.
5.51
And when you yearn for wealth, attention, fame,
A circle of admirers serving you,
And when you look for honors, recognition—
It’s then that like a log you should remain.
5.52
And when you want to do another down
And cultivate advantage for yourself,
And when the wish to gossip comes to you,
It’s then that like a log you should remain.
5.53
Impatience, indolence, faint heartedness,
And likewise haughty speech and insolence,
Attachment to your side—when these arise,
It’s then that like a log you should remain.
Here we have all our strategies for trying to escape the underlying discomfort of shenpa. This agitated energy is painful. We feel the need to do something with it: brag, gossip, cower—anything to get away. With a steady mind, we can see these strategies more clearly and stop supporting them with our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
“Remaining like a log” is a powerful and useful practice for all of us. The more we tame our minds, the sooner we can acknowledge thoughts of for and against and attachment to having it our way. Even when things have gotten out of control, we can still pause and refrain from pouring kerosene on the fire.
5.54
Examine thus yourself from every side.
Note harmful thoughts and every futile striving.
