“You aren’t. And you are correct, of course. Mary did run a kitchen in a big house once for many years.” Auggie began weighing his next words carefully. He wasn’t prepared to reveal how well he knew her, not yet anyway. “She is an old friend of my family. When she heard of my venture, she all but told me that the kitchen would be hers. And as you can imagine, she’s hard to say no to.”
“That is an understatement.” Elizabeth laughed, her gaze settling on his for several moments for the first time since they’d left the Grand.
He could never get enough of looking into her kind blue eyes. Elizabeth was the sweetest and strongest woman of her age he’d ever had the privilege to come to know. The fact that she didn’t fully realize that strength impressed him all the more.
“I much admire that in a woman,” Auggie said, deciding to test the waters with some personal frankness. “It is one of the reasons I knew I had to bring you on as a seamstress.”
“You don’t say?” Elizabeth asked, surprised by his confession. “I thought I was a little pushy and sounded a tad desperate, I’m afraid. I all but pleaded with you to hire me, or don’t you recall?”
“On the contrary.” Auggie took her elbow and stopped walking. “You are intelligent, resourceful, and determined. Not to mention driven, even if you don’t realize it. These are all qualities I look for in a woman. I mean an employee.”
“I never thought of myself in those terms,” Elizabeth replied, the night sky reflecting in her eyes.
Her lips, as well as her flawless face, were free of any makeup. He hadn’t noticed it before, but tonight it felt like everything was becoming clearer to him. As if he were seeing her for the very first time.
“Elizabeth,” he said, pulling her to him. They stared into each other’s eyes, their bodies very close. Auggie moved to steal a kiss when the church bell announced the hour.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in astonishment. “Oh, um, forgive me…”
“No, it is I who must ask for forgiveness. I lost my head for a moment,” Auggie begged, feeling like the heel he was sure she saw standing before her.
“I live just over there.” She pointed, stepping away from him and quickly walked toward the porch.
“I promised to see you home and I shall,” Auggie proclaimed, stepping up beside her. Those few steps felt like miles widened by the uncomfortable silence between them.
“This is home,” Elizabeth said, stepping upon her porch.
“Then I shall say goodnight, but first I must thank you for a very pleasant evening. It was an honor to have you as my guest for dinner.” Auggie smiled, bowing slightly. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
“It was a very pleasant occasion, Auggie. Goodnight.” Elizabeth opened her door then turned back toward him, a smile playing on her lips. “See you in the morning.”
Auggie smiled, nodded, then turned back toward town once he was certain Elizabeth was safely in her home. He felt like he’d just won the Kentucky Derby.
Elizabeth closed the door then lit a lamp on one of the tables. She waited a few minutes then peeked out a window to see if Auggie had gone.
The disappointment to find that he had left took her by surprise. What had she expected? That he would be waiting for her to open the door and—and what? Why was everything in her world tilting again? Would the constant wave of emotion ever end?
Checking the door, making sure it was secure for the night, Elizabeth took the lamp and went up to her room. She suddenly longed to be out of the dress and in comfortable clothes now that she was finally home. Carefully removing the garment Willa graciously had loaned her, Elizabeth draped it across the back of a chair.
She never would have chosen one this beautiful shade of blue. Willa knew it too, which was why she’d insisted on choosing the perfect dinner dress and not giving Elizabeth any choice. If she’d been given the option, she would have chosen to attend dinner in the dress she’d put on at six this morning.
Pulling her nightgown down over her head and letting it fall freely over her, she reached for her robe. Wrapped snug in its familiar warmth, Elizabeth let her hair down and began stroking the long strands with the silver brush she’d received from Steven last Christmas. She ran a fingertip over the embossed roses, remembering how proud Steven was to have been able to give her such a beautiful gift.
“I’m sorry, Steven,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I have dishonored your memory, our marriage vows, and done the most sinful thing. I danced with another man! A man who is my employer. I fear he sees more than there is for me to give.
“I made a promise to love you and only you forever. I will keep that promise, but it felt nice to dance. To let the sadness of your death evaporate for a short time.
“Forgive me, my love.”
Elizabeth turned out the bedroom lamp, laid her robe at the foot of the bed, and crawled under the handmade quilt. The bed once made for two now felt far too big for one. Hugging Steven’s pillow, she continued to cry.
The guilt burned her deeply. How could she find enjoyment in the arms of another man?
Her marriage vows broken and for what? To feel alive for a few hours while her husband lay in a box surrounded by the cold, dark ground?
Elizabeth, he is a good man. You must not feel ashamed. I would not want you to live the rest of your life alone.
“But I have betrayed you and our love, Steven.”
No, you haven’t. Don’t ever think that because you have started to move on with your life that you have betrayed me.
“I made a promise to you before God. I promised to love you and only you until death—”
Us do part. And we have parted for now, my love. When it is time for you to join me, I will be there to take your hand in mine.
“How can you be so sure?”
Trust in your faith and in God. He will never fail you, I promise.
“I will try, Steven. That’s all I can do. I don’t know if I’ll ever really love another. You had my heart and soul, I couldn’t give what’s left to someone else.”
When the time comes, you will know. You must open your heart to the possibilities.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Elizabeth rolled over onto her back. Staring up into the darkness, her mind replayed the evening at Auggie’s apartment.
She had enjoyed herself, that was true enough. And despite herself, she did find Auggie Raines an attractive man in many ways.
He was kind and considerate to his employees. He was obviously very fond of Mary as well. He had been light on his feet as he expertly guided her across the floor of his apartment. For those few moments, her heart felt light.
“And he hired a grieving widow to help her survive,” Elizabeth whispered, hugging the pillow tighter to her chest. “What kind of person does that? I can’t imagine any other reason for his kindness.
“He said I was strong, but am I really? Am I strong enough to one day give my heart to another?”
The chords of the waltz played through her mind. Humming the melody, she closed her eyes reliving those moments in Auggie’s arms. When the world had disappeared, it was just the two of them. Holding each other. Gazing into each other’s eyes as if they were two people in love.
How realistic could that be? The poor, grieving widow and the hotel owner seemed an unlikely match.
Unlikely, but not impossible if she’d open her heart once more to the possibility of love.
CHAPTER 11
Auggie woke in the wingback chair he’d fallen asleep in the previous night. His neck had a crick in it, and his once perfectly pressed dress shirt was now badly wrinkled.
Placing his glasses on the table, he ran his hands over his face. “Good grief,” he yawned, stretching out cramped limbs. Pulling out his pocket watch, he groaned at the time. “Seven. I should be downstairs by now.”
Pushing out of the chair, he shuffled into his bedroom stifling yet another yawn. Splashing water on his face from the wash basin, he met his mirrored gaz
e, shocked by how harried he appeared.
His hair was plastered on one side of his head while the other sprouted several rooster tails. He looked like he’d spent last night somewhere other than in his own home.
If he didn’t know better, he’d think he’d spent the night with a bottle of whiskey and visions of Elizabeth. What was it about her that had him in knots after dining together only once?
By no means had it been the intimate dinner for two he’d at first hoped for where they could get to know each other. It had been a quiet, uneventful evening with two widows acting as chaperones. Dancing with Elizabeth had been the highlight of the evening, seconded by seeing her safely to her front door. She had still refused a proper escort when he offered his arm. He must remember she was an independent woman now, showing the entire world there was no need for her to depend on a man any longer.
Elizabeth Hamilton was easygoing and quite pleasant to have a conversation with, even if it was only in regard to the work she was doing. Her beauty was most certainly more than skin-deep. It filled her entire being, as far as he could tell.
Up until last night when he saw her to the row houses on the edge of town, he’d only been in her company here at the hotel. And that was strictly business. Last night, however, wasn’t. Now he wasn’t sure what type of relationship they had, and whether or not it had changed.
He didn’t want it to change—or did he? No, he quickly decided. He did not want it to change in the manner that she would leave his employment.
Would she keep a wide berth of him? Or would their day go on the same as always? Friendly and professional.
How was he going to learn more about her if everything has changed? Dinner certainly hadn’t offered the opportunity, so how would working downstairs together do it?
Picking up his shaving soap, cup, and brush, he studied his beard closely.
What if he shaved it off? Would she only see the ugliness of the disfiguring scar? Would she cringe, walk away, and avoid him at all costs? Not willing to chance it, he put the brush back in the bowl. Auggie dried his face, rubbed his damp hair with the hand towel, then changed into a fresh shirt.
Knock knock.
“What kind of catastrophe has happened already this morning?” he wondered, finishing buttoning his shirt as he ambled out of the bedroom and across the floor “Yes, I’ll be right there,” he called out quickly, slipping into a suitcoat.
Answering the door, he was surprised to find Mary at the threshold, carrying a breakfast tray. “Mary, is everything all right?”
“It won’t be if you stand there staring and you don’t take this tray from me,” she replied, waiting for him to take the tray. “Did you get Elizabeth home safely last night?”
“My apologies. I did, and you might as well sit down if you plan on putting me on trial.” He relieved her of the serving tray, his stomach rumbling at the aroma of breakfast. Or was it revolting over what he was sure to come—Mary grilling him about Elizabeth.
“I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Raines,” Mary feigned as she pressed past him and settled onto the settee. “But since you have invited me to stay, I see no point in not accepting.”
Auggie shook his head, placing the tray on the table where he’d had dinner with Elizabeth last night. What would it be like to share a private morning with her? Even though they’d eaten together many times in the hotel, here in his private quarters was something else altogether.
Intimate.
He could only imagine her buttering a plate of flapjacks, pouring maple syrup over them then licking her fingers free of any of the sticky syrup. He’d kiss away a spot she’d missed on the palm of her hand. She’d smile up at him, her eyes filled with—
“Auggie! Stop your daydreaming and come sit down,” Mary strongly suggested, patting the spot next to her.
“So, I’m to be interrogated while sitting next to you?” Auggie teased, his vision evaporating as he turned around. “I’d much rather sit where I can anticipate your questions and look you in the face,” he said, sitting back in the chair he’d slept in last night.
“As you please.” Mary pinched her lips. “I’ll not mince words. What do you plan to do about Elizabeth?”
His heart ceased to beat. Blood drummed in his ears.
“I’m not sure what you mean. Has she done something I’m not aware of?”
“No, because I am quite sure you are well aware of what she has done,” Mary stated, sitting straighter.
Auggie glanced down at his clasped hands, his knuckles turning white. After all this time, had he misjudged Elizabeth? He couldn’t think of one thing she might have done to offend Mary.
“Mary, what has happened between last night and this morning? As you well know, I am running a bit late and haven’t been downstairs yet,” Auggie said, breathing deeply to calm the rush of blood burning through his veins.
Mary looked over at him as if he’d lost his senses. “I hope a number of things have happened, if you are paying attention.”
Auggie shook his head, tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “Please, Mary, do get to the point. I have never been good at riddles, as you well know.”
“All right then, I shall.” Mary shifted on the settee then fixed her gaze on him, sending a shiver through his body. “You are falling in love with Elizabeth, and I want to know what you plan to do about it!”
Elizabeth sat in a front church pew, head bowed and hands clasped. She’d been here since shortly after waking this morning praying for forgiveness in dancing with a man she wasn’t married to.
But it was more than that. Much more.
“Elizabeth, what are you doing here?” Fannie asked, a feather duster in her hand and brows furrowed with concern. “I haven’t seen you in church for several weeks, except when you are scurrying by, to and from Blessings Valley.”
“Asking for forgiveness, Fannie.” Elizabeth look up at her friend through blurred vision. “I’ve sinned.”
“You?” Fannie asked, astonished as she sat next to her. “Elizabeth, you are the last person I would ever think would sin on purpose. What do you think you have done to ask for God’s forgiveness?”
“I danced with Mr. Raines last night. I allowed him to hold me close enough to feel his heart beating.” Elizabeth felt the blush of shame sweep over her cheeks. “The worst of it is I…I enjoyed it.”
“There is nothing wrong with dancing. Mr. Raines is an attractive man, as well as kind, from what I’ve heard. Everyone speaks fondly of him,” Fannie said soothingly as if she were speaking to a frightened child.
Elizabeth cast her a glance then looked quickly away as tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t think of Steven once while in Auggie’s arms. I felt like a girl, not a married woman.”
She felt Fannie’s hands slip around hers, forcing Elizabeth to look into her face.
“You aren’t married any longer. None of us are in the eyes of the law. We are widows. The rings we wear are symbols of the love we shared with our husbands. The memories are reminders of all we shared.”
“You’re wrong!” Elizabeth glared at Fannie, the tears streaming over her cheeks. “That may be true for you and the others, but not for me. I am a married woman.”
She rose then all but ran out of the church, leaving Fannie behind in the pew. In Elizabeth’s heart of hearts, she might believe Fannie was right, but she wasn’t going to ever accept the truth of the matter.
She half-walked, half-ran along the path into town, her mind racing for reasons unclear to her. She couldn’t focus on where she was going. Not until she found herself pounding on the door of the boardinghouse.
“Willa!” she cried out, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. When no answer came, she banged louder on the door. Of all the days for Willa not to be up early, it had to be today.
“Please answer the door,” Elizabeth pleaded, her head bowed as she worried her hands. “Willa, where are you?”
After what seemed like hours instead of mere minut
es, the door flew open.
“What is so urgent that—” Willa’s eyes were wide with anger then worry. “Elizabeth, what is it? What has happened?”
“I am no better than a harlot, Willa!” she exclaimed, feeling the words spoken were as true as the sun rising this morning. She’d cheated on her deceased husband, plain and simple.
“Come inside before the entire town hears you.” Willa held the door open, glancing up and down the street. “Let’s go to the kitchen, I have a fresh pot of coffee on the stove and muffins ready to come out of the oven.”
Elizabeth headed straight for the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. As she waited for Willa, she began to wonder if Fannie was right. Was she only having wishful thoughts of still being married to Steven? If she wasn’t, then it would change everything her heart held so precious.
A once in a lifetime kind of love she’s shared with Steven.
“So, what is this all about?” Willa asked as she took two cups from the cupboard. “I haven’t seen you this upset since—”
“Go ahead, say it,” Elizabeth said, tears leaving a trail down her cheeks. “Since Steven died.”
“Yes, since Steven’s death.” Willa poured each of them steaming coffee then put the pot back on the stove before pulling the muffins from the oven. “What has happened since last night? You seemed so happy. I thought you were enjoying yourself so much that—”
“That’s the problem.” Elizabeth interrupted, not wanting to hear a word about the wonderful night she’d had. “I betrayed Steven by being in the arms of another man. And the worse part of it is that I did have a pleasant time. Then I got home, and the guilt drove into my soul, burning me with shame.”
“My dear Elizabeth. There is no shame in finding joy. Steven wouldn’t want you to live the rest of your life in a veil of black. He’d want you to go on facing each day as a gift. A gift of living and breathing. Of feeling the warmth of the sun. Smelling the freshness of the rain on a spring day.” Willa looked at her with nothing but compassion. “Even find solace in the arms of another man. A good man who will treat you as good, or better, than Steven had.”
Elizabeth (Widows of Blessings Valley Book 1) Page 10
