The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  ‘You’re with Holly,’ Kim said timidly, unable to stop frowning as she gazed at him, searching for answers as to why he was behaving this way. Her head was a little blurred from drinking, but she was certain he was being inappropriate. Was he saying he was jealous that she had been talking to Callum?

  ‘I’ve been with Holly for one night,’ he said. Then he shot her a cheeky smile and let go of her head, muttering under his breath as he walked off, ‘but I haven’t been with you.’

  Kim stood there, flabbergasted, unable to move from the spot. Did that really just happen? Had she heard him correctly over the loud music? As she walked over to the others who were chatting chatting about bridal veils and hair pieces, she wondered if she’d just imagined the whole thing.

  Chapter 16

  Emma

  Emma wondered how Americans were always full of so much energy. It was like they never got tired or miserable in Vegas; the staff everywhere were always ebullient, energetic and bursting with enthusiasm. They couldn’t do enough for you. Everything came with a smile. Emma had always thought it was the way it should be when you were served by a waitress or shopped in a store, but today, Taylor, the pretty lady standing in front of her, was too much. She was actually making Emma feel tired and drained of energy. She knew it was probably the late nights catching up with her, but as she stood there watching her get out all the accessories she might be interested in, Emma wished that Taylor would just calm the hell down.

  ‘So how are you feeling about your big day?’ Taylor asked in a high-pitched, shrilly voice. ‘You’re going to have the most amazing weather as it’s been super-hot lately. I bet your dress is gorgeous. You have the most amazing figure.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Emma answered tiredly. ‘I’m feeling good, I guess,’ she forced herself to sound as happy as possible. She knew she should be feeling incredibly grateful for everything this store was offering her for free, but there was something bothering her and she couldn’t put her finger on it. She was starting to feel trapped, knowing she was getting married in a few days’ time. Like someone was smothering her and all she needed was a little air. She just needed to breathe a bit. She knew it was normal to be feeling this way, most people had cold feet before making such a big commitment, so she pushed her doubts away, focusing on the beautiful accessories being shown to her and reminding herself that she was lucky.

  She took her phone out and shot a video to her Instagram, filming the shop and the lovely items they had. She would make sure she posted about them quite a bit as a thank you. It was the least she could do.

  Thanks to @littlewhitedress for all the help today buying bridal accessories! #almosttimetosayido #vegaswedding

  ‘So we have these gorgeous veils here we thought you may like,’ Taylor began to explain. ‘We have all different lengths and fabrics from lace to chiffon, organza or silk tulle. Or if you’d prefer a bridal hair comb, we have some gorgeous designs right here. Or how about a hair vine? We have the most beautiful pieces I’m about to show you.’ Taylor was looking through a box like a child looking in their stocking on Christmas Day.

  Emma snapped away taking images and tagging the shop on her social media, but she began to feel overwhelmed and despite the air-conditioning blasting down on her, she felt sweaty and hot. ‘I don’t know,’ she mumbled helplessly. ‘I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know what I want.’ She turned to look at Holly and Kim. ‘Help me, girls. I sent you a picture of the dress, didn’t I? What should I have in my hair?’ She purposely hadn’t decided because she knew she’d be visiting this store. Was she crazy leaving it to the last minute?

  They discussed some ideas and Emma was grateful to her friends for helping. There had been so much organizing to do for this wedding and it was all beginning to seem so real now. It was only just dawning on her that this was really going to happen. Everything had suddenly got on top of her. When she’d picked her wedding dress ten months earlier, it had been fun and exciting. After all, her wedding had seemed so far away it felt like it was happening to someone else and she was just getting to buy a gorgeous dress. But now she was only days away, picking out all the final touches, she was feeling different about it somehow. She felt silly getting married. How was she doing something so grown up and serious?

  ‘Why don’t we try this hair vine?’ Holly suggested helpfully. ‘I’m just thinking it would look beautiful with your long hair, Emma. I could do some soft mermaid waves and it would give it a bohemian, whimsical look. I’ve done it on lots of brides recently and it looks beautiful. I think it would really go well with your floaty wedding dress.’

  Emma felt herself nodding. Yes, that sounded perfect. She needed someone else to make the decisions for her; she just didn’t feel strong enough at that moment to decide upon anything. She trusted Holly implicitly; she followed her bridal hair Instagram page and she honestly thought her friend was extremely talented. She was always fully booked, another good sign. Holly had done her hair for a night out before too, and she’d loved it; there was nobody better to help her decide.

  But why was she feeling so anxious all of a sudden? She loved Charlie, didn’t she? Everyone was always saying how the two of them were a match made in heaven. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. That’s why she was there, in Vegas, surrounded by people she cared about.

  ‘Can I have a drink of water?’ Emma croaked, fanning herself with a bridal magazine on the coffee table in front of her.

  ‘Absolutely,’ Taylor replied hastily. ‘I was just about to offer you three glasses of champagne. Would you like that?’

  ‘Oh yes please,’ Kim responded before Emma could get a word in. ‘That sounds much better than water,’ she chuckled. ‘You have to have champagne in a wedding shop.’

  Emma couldn’t speak. She didn’t want to sound like the boring one who just wanted a soft drink. She was the one who was supposed to be celebrating. She needed water though, just something to quench her thirst, but remained silent, concentrating on keeping herself cool. She walked over to the exact spot below the air-conditioning.

  ‘Are you really that warm?’ Holly asked in bewilderment. ‘I think it’s chilly in here.’

  ‘I’m boiling,’ Emma gasped, ‘that feels lovely.’ She held her arms out to let the cold air hit every part of her. She lifted her face upwards and relished the freezing blast whipping through her hair.

  Emma felt her phone vibrate, signalling she had another email. She normally just got rid of the notification and let them all build up. Charlie would probably reply anyway, so she wouldn’t need to worry about it, but this time, she decided to check who it was from.

  She didn’t recognize the name of the person who had sent it and clicked on the email curiously.

  Dear Emma, thank you so much for contacting us. We would be delighted to use your fiancé in our next shoot for sportswear, but were hoping you would be able to join in too and collaborate with us? If this is okay, then we would be happy to use the both of you and would like to discuss a fee …

  Emma felt perturbed as she read the email. She had no idea what it was about, and it was clear it was someone else Charlie had been chatting to behind her back, using her name. Her index finger hovered over the ‘sent’ items. She’d never checked them before and she was a little nervous as to what she was going to discover. Her hand started to shake as she read the tons of emails Charlie had sent pretending to be her. She could see that every email sent would benefit him.

  I was wondering if you would be interested in my fiancé modelling/being sent your products in exchange for promotion from both him and myself? As you can see from my page, I have over half a million followers …

  What on earth? There were dozens of them and her mouth hung open. It was all about him. Why would he not have asked her first? She was more than happy to help him in his career, but this seemed a bit sneaky. What right did he have? She was furious. She wasn’t comfortable with Charlie trying to use her to get to places without letting her kn
ow what his intentions were.

  Taylor walked over with the champagne and Emma knew she should capture this moment for her Instagram. Maybe a Boomerang video of them clinking their glasses. She simply couldn’t muster the energy to do it though.

  ‘Thank you,’ Emma said to Taylor, attempting a smile. She wasn’t feeling right, especially after receiving that email, but didn’t want to mention it to the others, too embarrassed by what they would probably say.

  ‘You’re so welcome,’ Taylor said in a saccharine tone, practically bouncing over to the hair vines. ‘Shall we?’ she said, holding one up.

  ‘This one is lovely,’ Holly gushed, holding up a rose-gold floral vine. ‘It would match your rose-gold theme perfectly too, wouldn’t it? Here, let’s try it on.’

  ‘We have some great necklaces that would go with it too,’ Taylor beamed excitedly. ‘I’m not sure if you were planning on wearing jewellery, but this necklace here is absolutely gorgeous. It’s new in.’

  Emma nodded, trying to get into the mood. Trying to share their enthusiasm. Holly placed the vine in Emma’s hair gently, adjusting it into the correct position.

  ‘You have to remember that your hair will be wavy. We can do a bit up here,’ she said, holding some of her hair up as Emma gazed at herself in the mirror. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I love that,’ Kim said in admiration, sipping her champagne on the sofa.

  ‘I think it really compliments your skin tone,’ Taylor nodded encouragingly.

  ‘Yes, I guess I like it,’ Emma replied, feeling really unsure and indecisive. What did she want? She did like the hair vine, but she just felt really confused. She had been looking forward to visiting A Little White Dress and had felt really flattered that they were offering her something for free just for her promotion on her page. Yet now she was here, she felt like she would rather be anywhere else in the world. Emma wiped her brow.

  ‘It’s probably best to try a veil to compare,’ Taylor suggested. ‘I think a veil would look gorgeous on you.’

  ‘I did try on one with my dress when I bought it,’ Emma explained, ‘but I wasn’t a hundred per cent sure it was really me.’

  ‘Perhaps try this beautiful one here,’ Taylor continued, as if she hadn’t heard her. ‘This is waist-length, gathered with two tiers and has a beaded edge. It’s ivory; you said over email your dress was ivory, didn’t you? This will look beautiful.’ She dragged the word ‘beautiful’, making her voice sound whiny.

  Emma felt pressured into trying it on.

  ‘Maybe just give us a few moments?’ Holly said to Taylor delicately. ‘I’m doing her hair so if it’s okay, we will try on a few and see how we get on?’

  ‘Of course,’ Taylor smiled widely, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  Clearly she wasn’t used to being told to go away, but Emma was so thankful to Holly for realizing she needed space that she could have kissed her.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Holly whispered when Taylor was out of earshot.

  Emma gulped. ‘I’m fine, yes,’ she lied, not wanting to make a fuss.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Holly probed. ‘You look as though you’re trembling.’

  Emma glanced at Kim who was busy reading a magazine and drinking her champagne.

  ‘Yes, I’m sure,’ Emma told her in the most reassuring tone she could muster. She just wanted to pick what she wanted and leave. She needed to lay down or something and had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  Holly’s eyes darted to Kim to check she wasn’t paying attention and then back to Emma. ‘Listen, Em, is everything okay with you? Not just now, in here, right now, but in general? You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?’

  Emma frowned. ‘Why are you asking me that for?’

  ‘I noticed the way Charlie was talking to you earlier. He looked furious about something. Is everything okay?’ Holly asked quietly.

  Emma folded her arms across her chest protectively. ‘When?’ she asked, feeling her face burn. She guessed it must have been at the pool when Charlie had been annoyed with her. An American guy who had been a club promotor had briefly stopped to chat to her about where she was going that evening and Charlie had accused Emma of trying to show him up by chatting to other men in front of him. She’d calmed him down eventually by explaining the man had just wanted to know where she was going because that was his job to get people into the club, and not for any other reason, but he’d seemed really enraged at one point. The tiniest little things were beginning to irritate him lately. Emma had thought he’d have behaved better in Vegas seeing as they were so close to getting married, but no such luck. Until now, no-one had ever seen Charlie behave any other way than lovely towards her . No-one had ever asked if everything was okay, and now Holly was standing before her, gazing at her suspiciously, Emma genuinely didn’t know what to say.

  ‘The conversation looked quite heated, that’s all,’ Holly said in a hushed voice.

  ‘It was nothing.’ Emma took a deep breath. She just needed a bit of air. Her heart began to beat faster until she could feel the blood rushing to her ears. Her vision was blurring and she could feel a tidal wave of panic hitting her.

  ‘How are you getting on? I just found some beautiful tiaras out the back.’

  Taylor was back now, with her sing-song, irritating voice.

  ‘Emma? Are you alright?’ Holly asked worriedly.

  Something was in her throat. She had something lodged there and she couldn’t swallow it down. She couldn’t breathe. Her head felt like it was going to explode. She was burning hot. Her heart was thumping away violently and everything was starting to go black. Maybe she was dying? It sure felt that way.

  ‘I think she’s going to pass out,’ Emma heard Taylor say in an astonished voice.

  ‘Emma?’

  The last thing Emma heard before she fell into Holly’s arms was Kim.

  ‘I think she’s having a panic attack.’

  Chapter 17

  Holly

  Holly had never had a panic attack before so she had no idea what it felt like. It looked truly terrifying, she thought, as rubbed Emma’s back tenderly. Holly wondered if they needed to get medical attention. Emma was sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands, trembling all over. After a minute or two, she seemed to be over the worst of it and her breathing was returning to normal. Holly just hoped she wasn’t responsible for bringing the attack on because she’d asked her why Charlie had seemed so cross with her earlier that day. She couldn’t help but feel partly responsible and an uneasy feeling of guilt washed over her. She was only being a good friend checking that she was okay though, wasn’t she? What type of friend would she be if she just ignored the fact that Emma might need help or needed to talk? Holly wasn’t the kind of person to interfere with someone else’s business. She was never one to gossip or to want to know all the details about someone’s private life. Holly only wanted to know the things that people wanted to tell her. Kim was the opposite and it had always been something that Holly didn’t understand.

  ‘Don’t you want to know why they broke up?’ she remembered Kim asking after her brother announced he was splitting from his wife.

  ‘Yes,’ Holly had answered. ‘But I’m sure he’s going to tell me everything I need to know in his own time. I’m not going to ask him and put him on the spot.’

  Kim would always look at her as though she was crazy. Kim was the type of girl to find out how much her brother-in-law’s salary was when he seemed to be doing well for himself and treating her sister to designer shoes and bags (she researched how much solicitors earned and even made a few phone calls because she was that interested). She investigated things that she didn’t feel comfortable asking people outright. She was the kind of girl to ask if someone was pregnant as soon as they ordered a soft drink. She just liked knowing things about people, it was as simple as that, whereas Holly wasn’t fussed. She never wanted to interfere.

  ‘Are you feeling better now, Emma?’ Kim ask
ed, looking really worried.

  Taylor was standing over Emma with a glass of water, and Emma took it from her gratefully, downing several gulps.

  ‘I think so,’ Emma responded breathlessly. ‘Sorry about this,’ she said apologetically to Taylor, ‘I honestly don’t know what’s come over me. This has never happened before.’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Taylor said reassuringly, ‘so long as you’re okay, that’s the main thing. Take as much time as you need.’ She walked away to serve another customer who had just walked into the store.

  ‘Sorry girls,’ Emma said, swallowing hard and rolling her eyes. ‘I’m so embarrassed. I’m starting to feel okay again now.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Holly replied, placing her hand on her shoulder. ‘Thank God you’re feeling alright now. I was really concerned about you at one point. So you’ve never had a panic attack before then?’

  ‘Nope,’ Emma shook her head. ‘It was horrible. I didn’t even know what was happening to me. I wasn’t even aware that it was a panic attack until I heard Kim say it. Maybe it’s just the stress of the wedding.’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ Kim told her. ‘The only reason I knew it was a panic attack is because a friend at university used to get them all the time. I could just tell it was the same thing.’

  Emma nodded and attempted to stand up. Holly and Kim held their arms out for support.

  ‘Thanks girls. I think I’m fine now. It’s scary how it comes on so quickly and then goes, just like that,’ Emma said thoughtfully. ‘I think I’m just going to go ahead with that rose-gold vine for my hair. The sooner I get out of this place, the better.’

  ‘You’re sure?’ Holly checked. She didn’t want her to just be picking anything on such an important day because she wasn’t feeling well. ‘It will look lovely,’ she told her sincerely.

  ‘Yes, I’m sure. I’ll just tell Taylor and then we can go and maybe grab something to eat. I think I just want to sit down and chill out. I’m sure the vine will be perfect and it’s the right colour.’