“Journey and I saw the results of selective amnesia some of our men displayed when they came back from Afghanistan and Iraq. Sometimes, I think it would be better if they don't remember. Some handle it, and others completely fall apart, and with the total lack of leadership or accountability in the V.A. most of them fall through the cracks.”
“I guess that’s something we won’t have to deal with anymore.”
“What? The V.A.?”
“No, leadership. There doesn’t seem to be any. But it doesn’t matter right now. As cold as it’s getting here, makes me wonder how other people are doing.”
“It makes me wonder how many will survive the next six months. I can’t even imagine the chaos and turmoil that must be happening in the towns and cities.”
Sam pondered what she’d said for a few minutes, they rode in silence. “If things in my life hadn’t have reached an impasse, I may very well have been in Las Vegas for the rodeo finals. It was Mary who finally made me see the light. Now I thank God every day for her intervention.”
“I was thinking about this the other day. We normally do our camp trips the first of September, but we wanted to do this area, and we had to wait for the Forest Service to open up the area for campers and hikers. It almost makes me believe in divine intervention.”
“So, if you had picked somewhere else to ride, you would have been back in Spokane when all of this went down.”
“I am reminded daily how fortunate we all are. I believe we could have somehow survived if it was just the three of us, but when Ben and Abby joined, even with what they had, we were stretching our resources thin. I still think we could have made it, but then I think about the cave in and the earthquakes, and I don’t know.”
“We’re actually set up pretty good. We have food, shelter and enough of us to maintain a modicum of security.”
Gina laughed and realized how good it felt. She was freezing her ass off out in the middle of nowhere, with a man who used to be a rodeo bum, with an uncertain future in front of them and it felt good to laugh.
“It’s the little things,” she said, and urged Sailor into a trot when she saw how far behind she’d gotten.
Chapter Fourteen
Back at camp, Mary was so happy to see the bags of flour, her eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t let them fall until Gina showed her the bag with the jams. Along with the jams, Evelyn had also sent a quart jar with ‘Sourdough Starter’ handwritten on a label.
Gina had no idea what it was, but Mary had burst into tears and promised bread the next day.
Gina looked around the tent and was surprised by what Janice, Mary, and the girls had accomplished while they were gone. “Where did you find all of the jars?”
Mary looked at Lucas, who had just come into the tent. “These are the ones we rescued from the kid’s demolition party up at the cabin, plus Carlos had four cases from the canned goods I had sent to him over the course of the past few months. The lids and rings were in that box that you rescued from the cellar?”
Lucas’s face flushed from his embarrassment at her reminder of him and Sherry, breaking the jars when they had been given the chore of disposing of the contents. “I said I was sorry for that.”
Mary walked by him and gave him a hug on her way past. “I know son, I was just hard-timing you. Where’s your father?”
“He, Uncle Sam, and Ben are taking the horses up top. Dad said they needed to feed anyhow, and Mike said he needed a minute alone.”
“He’s having a hard time reconciling himself to what happened yesterday? Jan said he didn’t say much but was plagued by bad dreams last night.”
“Sam isn’t talking much either. Other than near freezing to death, everything we saw was from a distance. We watched from the top of the hill. I would be surprised if any of them weren’t having a hard time right now.”
“So how are Mark and Evelyn really doing? I know Evelyn is probably worried about her medicines. She used to get them in a three month supply through the postal service. I don’t see how she will manage without them.”
Gina sat at the table and told Mary every word she had exchanged with Evelyn and her own observations as to the fragility of the woman as well. When she came to the incident with the thugs she told Mary exactly what had happened and Evelyn’s part in it and her not remembering any of it.
Gina didn’t want to think of what the lack of medicine for the elderly, the people who relied on drugs to manage all of their health problems, physical and mental and the people who used drugs to appease their addictions. She could imagine the chaos in towns and cities across the country.
It had probably been long enough for the pharmacies to have been cleaned out, medicine cabinets in people’s homes raided and drug suppliers to have run out of their product.
Mary began reminiscing about Evelyn, and her church socials and Gina listened and watched what Mary was doing. She had used some of the stuff; the sourdough starter in something she was making when she was done kneading it, she set it in a bowl and placed a towel over it, then set the covered bowl up on the shelf above the stove. Mary then measured out another portion of the flour added it to the jar and then added a half cup of water and stirred it up. She put a lid on it loosely and set it down at the bottom of the tent.
“Why did you do that?”
“Do which?”
“Put whatever you just made up on the shelf and the jar down where it’s cold.”
Mary chuckled and wiped her hands on the towel around her waist, “That up there is going to be fresh sourdough bread and that in the jar is the starter. Every time I take some out to use, I have to feed it. That’s why I added more flour and water. It sits and ferments until I need it the next time. If I kept it where it was warm, I would have to feed it regularly, but if I keep it where it’s cold, then I can feed it once a week.”
“Oh,” was all Gina could think to say. She had no idea what Mary had just said or why she would have to feed a jar of flour and water, more flour, and water. She decided to leave the cooking to the women who knew how. Gina wasn’t prepared to move into the domestic side of their existence right then.
Journey and Lucy had always been their camp cooks while Gina took care of the fire and wood gathering and their animals. The two women used to tease her and call her their alpha. While sometimes it had hurt her feelings, she knew she had never been the type to keep a house, knit a scarf, or sew a curtain. Somehow, being compared to the male or alpha species, by her friends didn’t hurt as much as knowing she didn’t have what it would take to have a family or a home. Sometimes it made her sad, and other times she was proud of her ability to provide what her friends couldn’t.
Her biggest problem right then was, she had been replaced, first by Ben and then by Andy. She wondered if their lives would ever be the same and supposed they wouldn’t. At least not the same as before the apocalypse. Gina knew the other two thought she and Sam had something going, but in all honesty, Gina wasn’t sure. Sure, they had cuddled a few times, but he had confessed that he considered her his best buddy. Gina wasn’t sure if best buddy was an elevated position above lady friend or girlfriend or if it was his way of saying we’re friends; buds.
The longer Gina sat in the warm tent, the more tired she became. She felt as if it was the first time she had been anywhere close to warm, since the night she had cuddled up with Sam on top of the hay. “I wonder if he cuddles with all of his best bud’s?”
After hearing the words in her mind, she thought how stupid they sounded. Trying to initiate anything romantic under their circumstances was ludicrous.
She stopped herself before she laughed out loud. The idea that she could have the same thoughts a school girl would have was taking her down a road she wondered if she would ever be ready for. She decided to have loved once and lost everything wasn’t something she was prepared to do again.
Gina dropped her head to rest it on her folded arms on the table. The surface smelled faintly of past meals, but Gina di
dn’t care. She could hear Mary moving around, the faint clatter of a spoon in the soup pot, the sound of the girls laughing somewhere and the soothing sound of dripping water. Comfort noises, Gina thought.
With her eyes closed it almost seemed normal, and she could imagine herself sitting in her own kitchen listening to the outside noises from their neighborhood.
Gina rolled her head to the side when someone touched her shoulder. Through half open eyes, she looked up to see Sam smiling down at her. “Hi,” Gina said and realized she was sitting at the table asleep, and everyone else was standing around looking at her expectantly. She sat up and yawned. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
“You have been going pretty hard the last couple of weeks,” Sam agreed.
She yawned, sat up and pulled her plate in front of her. “Not any more than anyone else, and has it only been a couple of weeks? Why does it seem like forever? For an instant, I was able to forget what we’re going through.”
Gina sniffed, her nose filled with the aroma of freshly baked bread, “Oh, my God! Do you know how good that smells? Are you sure I’m awake?” She made a show of pinching her arm and squealed when it hurt.
Mary smiled and shook her head at Gina’s antics, and set a plate in front of her. “I’m surprised all the noise I’ve been making didn’t wake you up.”
“I’m surprised the smell alone didn’t wake me.”
The stew was served from the stove by Journey, while Mary sliced the warm bread. Even without butter to dress it in, the sourdough bread was a hit. Every crumb was eaten, the crust used to wipe out empty bowls.
When the table had been cleared, Mary stood up and looked around expectantly, “I’d like to say something if I may.”
John nodded, giving her the floor, “Go ahead, and you don’t need to ask permission.”
“It’s about our food. With the help of Journey, Lucy and Janice, we have finished the canning. The last of the meat is in the smokehouse and Janice, and Journey did an inventory of everything else.” She seemed to run out of words or wasn’t sure how to continue. Mary looked at Journey for help.
“What Mary is trying to say is that we need more to eat than just meat. Without enough vitamin-C and the B-vitamins, we’re all going to be sick. We have a few of the fresh turnips, some potatoes, and a few carrots that Carlos had stored, and we have the beans, which, thanks to our young ladies, are now dirt and glass free, but we still need to conserve where we can.”
“Matt and I can fish, can’t we Matt?”
Matt nodded, but looked perplexed, “Where? The creek we always caught trout in is gone, and that new one won’t have fish in it yet. Will it?” He looked at John for the answer.
John rubbed his hands together while he considered what to say, “Actually, I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. For one, we don’t know where it originates from or if the lava flows killed the fish off. I think we’ll hold off on the fishing until we can do a little exploring, but with all this snow and the cold temperature, I don’t feel good about anyone leaving this area.”
“Fish would be good, but if we can get those chickens laying we would…”
Without preamble, Lucy jumped right in. “We need to get them in somewhere where they can have room to move around and is fairly warm. At least somewhere out of the snow. I found some useful information from one of the books Carlos had, and if we can feed them one hot meal a day, grain or some of the horse feed with some cyan pepper mixed in it, we can trick them into laying eggs.” As soon as Lucy finished speaking, she sat down.
John laughed, “That’s it? We’re going to trick our chickens into laying eggs in the middle of winter?”
“She’s right. My parent’s chickens laid eggs all winter long when I was growing up. Mom fed them a hot mash in the morning, and we always had eggs,” Jance told them.
“I think it’s worth a try. If only a couple of them lay, it’s more than we have now and we have to feed them anyhow.”
“Well, I have an idea about that. For now, we use some of our tarp and wall in the front of the goat shed. We’ll put a rafter up high to give them a place to roost at night until we can build something better. The heat from the goats will keep the ground inside the shed from freezing, and the chickens can dig in the dirt.”
“I can give you a hand with that Ben. We can get started first thing in the morning.” Mike looked around the table to see if anyone had any objections. “Unless there’s something else you need me to do John?”
“No, that’s fine. We need to treat the animals we have like family. There’s nothing more important than being able to eat. Right now my main concern is getting enough wood cut for both places and getting moved in up top.”
“I really do wish we could all just stay right down here. I feel so much safer.”
“Safer? Mary, do you not remember there were men, not a quarter mile from here that killed and butchered our stock? While we were sleeping?”
When the color drained from Mary’s face, it was obvious she had forgotten, reminding Gina she hadn’t asked about the security that John was so fond of talking about. She thought she remembered that they were all going to have to stand a watch, but so far as she knew, no one had.
Gina leaned in close to Sam. In a voice only meant for him to hear, “What happened to the watch schedule while we were gone?”
“I don’t think they had one except for Matt or Lucas going up top and checking for tracks in the snow. Which was probably okay then…not great, but okay. With the snow melting, it won’t be enough. I expect to see travelers, and we need to be prepared.”
“Do either of you want to share some wisdom or are you going to sit and whisper the rest of the meeting?”
Sam sat back up in his chair, “We were wondering what we were doing for our security. Doesn’t seem like we have much going in that department.”
John looked around the table a look of disbelief on his face. “Now he worries about our safety, when every time we turn around, he’s off on an adventure…”
“Now John, I don’t think that’s being fair to Sam or Gina. If I remember correctly, wasn’t it you who said we needed to see how our neighbors were doing?”
Gina wondered what was going on between the two brothers. She could almost feel the tension at the table. Looking around, she could see that the rest of them saw what she did. Sparks seemed to fly between the brothers. Sam’s hands were clenched into fists while John’s jaw was clenched and he looked ready to spring from his chair.
Ben stood, “I think we need to take this down a notch. John, it seems like you have something on your mind and it seems to me like you might want to share it with the rest of us.”
John seemed to deflate, his sigh audible to them all. He looked around the table and grimaced. “Sorry, Sam. I know it seems like I’m taking my animosity out on you and I don’t really mean to take it out on anyone. The truth is…I’m scared. Everything that’s happened with the power going out, the fire, the quakes, the cattle and the men who slaughtered them, I feel like I’m on overload. I feel like everything we’re doing for our own survival is going against every teaching we ever had from the Bible. I’ve been having a hard time reconciling myself with the fact that it’s necessary.”
Sam sat for a couple minutes in silence. He cleared his throat, “You know what happened at the house. You saw what happened when you tried to help. You put your family in jeopardy, and for what? To lose it all anyhow.”
“Sam…maybe this isn’t the time for…….”
“Mary, when do you think is the right time? Do we wait a week? A month or maybe until next spring? We need to do what has to be done to survive. If it means taking lethal action to ensure our family and friends are safe, it’s what we do. You can bet those guys who killed the cows weren't questioning themselves about our survival. No…I believe they would have come back for you or Lucy or Janice, or even for the girls.”
Mary’s face blanched and she moved to sink onto the end of th
e bench near John.
“What happened to us? What happened to the people we were when this all began? We were ready to kill anyone who tried to harm us. Look at the people who shot you John…do you think they had our best interests at heart. Do you think they would have hesitated to kill all of us? That was only a few days after the power went off. What do you think the mindset of those people would be like today? We don’t know that some of those men weren’t part of the original group who burned the house down. We have no way of knowing the frame of mind of anyone we come across. At this point, we can’t trust anyone.”
John stood up, “I’m going to see Mark.”
“Better let me go with you then,” Sam said and stood.
“Alone!”
Sam sat back down. No one said much until they heard John ride out ten minutes later. The tension in the tent diminished with John’s departure. He had grabbed his rifle on the way out and ridden rather than walked the distance to Mark’s.
“Should someone follow him?”
“He’ll be fine Mary. He’s been under an awful lot of pressure thinking he has to keep us all safe and…well, I think he just needs some time alone, and the time with Mark might be good for his soul.”
“I hope you’re right. John hasn’t slept more than a few hours at a time for weeks now. It’s like he’s lost respect for the man that he was before all of this happened.”
“I have faith that Mark will set him straight. Now, we have some plans to make.”
Chapter Fifteen
“We’re going to bring the rest of the cows up close with an electric wire to keep them here.”
“But Uncle Sam, we don’t have electricity.”
Sam nodded, “No, we don’t, but those cows have been behind an electric fence enough to know not to touch it. Look how many times when the power went off from a storm and they ran in circles from the lightning and didn’t run through it.”
“Okay, but where are the wire and posts?”
Beyond the New Horizon (Book 2): Desperate Times Page 19
