‘It’s OK. It doesn’t matter.’
‘I was afraid you wouldn’t come.’ Emily looked over at Jonathan, her face lit up with joy. ‘But she did. Look, Jonathan.’
‘I know,’ said Jonathan, with a kindly smile.
‘Come and sit down.’ Emily led Robyn over to the sofa. The cat followed them and jumped up onto the arm. ‘This is Hermione.’ She patted the remaining cat. ‘And this is Ron, of course.’ She sat, indicating the space next to her. ‘Where do we start? Where do we begin? Are there rules? I don’t know …’
‘I don’t either,’ said Robyn, sitting down.
Now she was up close, Robyn could see Emily was older than she appeared. There were a few threads of silver in her hair, and some fine lines around her eyes. She was much slighter than Robyn, who had her father’s height and strength.
She still couldn’t believe it. A mother and a father. She’d presumed the young Jonathan she had read about in Emily’s letter would have been lost, never seen again after that week at the summer school, relegated to a misty memory. But here he was, as large as life, as wonderful as Emily had described him. Older and wiser, probably, but kind and funny.
‘We talked about trying to get you back,’ said Emily, holding her hands. ‘When we found each other again. But it seemed too cruel. You would have been settled with your new family. We just hoped that one day you might get in touch. And you did.’
‘I’m sorry it took me so long.’ Robyn felt a shoot of panic. She could have saved them years of wondering, if only she’d started her search sooner.
‘You have to be ready,’ said Emily. ‘It’s no good if you’re not.’
‘It suddenly became important to me when I knew I was getting married.’
‘Tell me about him.’ Emily’s eyes were sparkling.
‘Jake is …’ Robyn searched for the right words. ‘Wonderful. He’s a landscape gardener, so he’s pretty big and strong. He’s crazy about surfing. He doesn’t care much about money or clothes or any of that kind of thing. But he works really hard.’ She pulled out her phone. ‘I can show you pictures.’ She started scrolling through her photos. ‘There. That’s him. Outside the house we’re doing up. Well, it’s a cattle-shed. But it’s going to be beautiful.’
Emily peered at the picture of Jake standing outside the Linhay in his work gear and wellies, pushing a wheelbarrow.
‘He looks lovely.’
‘I can’t believe the wedding is next weekend.’ Robyn laughed. ‘We didn’t see the point in stringing it out, and we only want a simple wedding. But my friend Gwen’s organising it all. She loves that kind of thing, and I’m useless. We’re having it at Jake’s family beach hut. Just a chilled-out do – no fuss.’
‘It sounds wonderful.’
Robyn put a hand over Emily’s. ‘Maybe you should come?’ she said, impulsive, carried away with the moment.
‘Oh.’ Emily frowned. ‘I don’t think that would be right. It’s lovely of you to ask, but I think it would be awkward for your parents. I don’t want to overshadow things. We’ve got lots of time.’
Robyn gazed at her. How wise and thoughtful Emily was. Of course she was right. It would be too soon. The day belonged to her and Jake, and Mick and Sheila, and Rocky. There would be time for other celebrations in the future. Which reminded her that there was another piece of news she had to tell them. She felt the time was right. She knew the news would mean the world to them. She trusted them. They didn’t feel like strangers.
‘There is something else.’
Jonathan and Emily exchanged worried glances, as if her whole visit might have been a trick, and she was going to tell them she wasn’t their daughter after all.
‘It’s a good thing,’ she said, and paused for a moment to find the right words. ‘I’m having a baby.’ She smiled. ‘It’s due on the fifth of November.’
She would never forget the looks on their faces. Joy and disbelief in equal measure.
‘Oh, Robyn,’ said Emily. She was hesitant. She still wasn’t sure of her role with her daughter, let alone a grandchild. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘I think “congratulations” will do,’ Jonathan said. He understood how delicate this new relationship was. How important it was to tread softly. He curled his arm around Emily as a fresh set of tears fell, but she laughed too, and soon all three of them were crying.
‘This is more than I ever dreamed of,’ said Emily.
And she took Robyn’s hand in hers and held it to her heart.
38
Rocky was banging the mud off his walking boots from the last time he’d worn them, wishing he’d done it when he’d put them away, like he did every time. Half of the south-west coast path seemed to be stuck in the treads.
He was secretly glad that Jake and Ethan were away for the weekend while he went on his second date with Melissa. He hadn’t asked them for any advice this time. He wanted to stay under the radar. The last thing he wanted was to be spotted out with her and for it to get back to everyone. News travelled fast in Everdene because not a lot happened, and there were spies everywhere. There would be smoke signals and tom toms and Morse code and the gossip would get back home before you did.
He checked his appearance once more, still fearing that there had been something about him that had made Melissa run the first time. Even if she was giving him a second chance. Faded jeans. Checked shirt over a blue T-shirt. A light parka to keep off any wind chill. He looked clean cut and outward bound. He’d sloshed on a little bit too much Aqua di Parma but hoped it had started to fade. There was nothing more off-putting than a man that reeked of too much aftershave.
He looked at the clock. Melissa was coming to pick him up, because she lived further away from Heddon’s Mouth. There was still twenty minutes to wait. He looked around for something to do, but the house was immaculate. He’d tried to achieve a tidy-but-lived-in look, because he didn’t want to look too uptight if she came in for … whatever.
There was white wine chilling in the fridge, and plenty of Fever Tree mixers, and a fresh bottle of Exmoor gin. And tubs of olives and some nice cheese and a loaf of sourdough.
A knock on the door made him jump. She was early. He smiled. He’d never dare do that to a woman. Fifteen minutes early would mean certain panic. But he was good to go. He picked up his boots, ready to put them on outside. He grabbed his house keys and headed for the door.
He blinked. She was standing there, in a black wrap dress and high suede boots, her hair in tousled waves. A drift of Coco by Chanel hit him, bringing back so many memories he almost couldn’t breathe.
‘Tina.’
She smiled. Shrugged. Laughed. Ran her fingers through that hair he’d run his own through so many times.
‘I couldn’t bear it,’ she said. ‘I wanted to clear the air between us. Before the wedding. I think it’s important.’ She looked at the boots in his hand. ‘Are you going somewhere?’
‘I was just about to take the dog for a walk,’ he said, making his mind up in an instant. ‘But I just need to make a quick phone call first. Come in.’
And he stood to one side as his ex-wife walked past him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Melissa, praying she wasn’t out of signal, praying she wasn’t about to come around the corner.
‘Hi.’ She answered, sounding upbeat. ‘I’m just on my way.’
‘I’m really sorry,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a family crisis on my hands. I’ve got to deal with it. It’s really bad timing. I’m so sorry.’
He heard her sigh. ‘No problem.’
‘I promise you this isn’t me dicking you around.’
‘It’s fine.’ She sounded weary. ‘I hope things turn out OK.’
‘I’ll be in touch.’
‘Yeah, yeah.’
She rang off. He stared at the phone for a moment, feeling terri
ble. He hadn’t lied. It wasn’t his fault. He imagined her, all togged up in the female equivalent of his outfit but with make-up, feeling deflated, now facing an empty afternoon and evening. Not that he flattered himself he was such great company, but enforced solitariness was far more lonely than planned.
There was nothing he could do. Tina had obviously driven here all the way from Enfield. He’d better listen to what she had to say.
He walked back inside. Tina was looking around the cottage, gazing at the paintings on the wall.
‘This is sweet,’ she said.
The tiny cottage had been all he could afford after the split. A less tolerant man would have been rankled not to have been awarded more, given that he had ended up with the children, but all he had wanted at the time was to be settled and to have peace.
‘It’s tidier now the boys have gone.’
‘I bet.’ She smiled, and he thought she looked a little sad. He felt awkward with her here, after all the hard work he’d done to build himself a new life and a new space. He went into the cupboard under the stairs and found a pair of pink wellies one of Ethan’s girlfriends had left behind.
‘If we’re going to talk,’ he said. ‘We’ll do it while we’re walking Lara.’
Lara was lying by the sofa, looking warily at Tina.
Tina grumbled a little bit, but relented, kicking off her suede boots and plunging her feet into the boots. ‘These are way too big for me.’
‘I’ll get you some thick socks.’
‘We better not go too far. Or I’ll get blisters.’
Rocky smiled to himself. She hadn’t changed. She was still a city girl through and through. But Lara needed her walk and he wasn’t going to sacrifice it for Tina’s sake. It would be better to talk in the open air. He didn’t want the walls of his own house to ring with conflict.
They’d set off along the coast path that led up the hill and around the point to the lighthouse. The late afternoon sun was low in the sky, backlighting the silver clouds with coral, and the sea below was winding itself up into a fury as the tide came in. Everdene beach was behind them, the row of huts trailing off into the distance, the Shedquarters almost out of sight. Once, it had been the source of their antagonism.
What was she going to say?
‘I want,’ Tina began. ‘To start by saying sorry. It was absolutely all my fault.’
‘What?’ Rocky was startled. He wasn’t expecting that.
‘I think I went a little bit mad when we moved here. I couldn’t get my head around it. I really missed my friends and family and the bright lights and …’ She laughed. ‘Enfield. It’s my home town. But that’s no excuse for what I did.’
‘Tina, it was over fifteen years ago.’
‘No. I’m not talking about the affair. Fling. Thing. Whatever you want to call it.’
He flinched. It was still painful, the thought of it. However little it had meant to her, it had put the final nail in the coffin of their marriage.
‘What was unforgivable of me,’ she went on, ‘was letting you take all the blame. You took what I did like a gentleman. You never let the kids know what I had done. You let everyone think it was your fault that we split up. That you had been selfish and forced me to move. When I didn’t even try. I didn’t make any effort. I made up my mind it wasn’t for me and used it as an excuse to behave how I wanted.’ Her hair was blowing in her face, and she swept it away, impatient. ‘You’re golden, Rocky. You took the bullet for me and saved my relationship with Jake and Ethan, even though I let you down. Even though I trod all over your dreams.’
They stood on the top of the cliff with the wind buffeting them.
‘We’re going to be grandparents.’ He had to strain to hear her, she was speaking so softly. ‘So I want a truce. I want us to be the very best of friends, so we can be the very best grandparents. I want us to be a family again. Support each other, and be kind to each other. Have each other’s backs. But we can’t do that unless you forgive me.’
He looked out to sea for a moment.
‘Of course I forgive you,’ he said. ‘And thank you. For being big enough to say all of that. It means a lot.’
‘What is it they say – you don’t appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone?’ She gave a rueful smile. ‘It only took me fifteen years to figure it out.’
‘Doesn’t feel like fifteen years, if I’m honest.’
It certainly didn’t feel like over thirty years since that chirpy Saturday girl had asked him out.
‘You were a bloody diamond, Rocky. And I was a fool. I’ve never met a man to match up to you.’
He grinned at her. ‘Have there been a lot, then?’
‘Not as many as you might think.’ She flashed him one of her killer smiles. ‘Thing is, the nice ones are boring. And the bad ones are bastards.’
‘Oh.’ Rocky thought about that equation. ‘Which one am I?’
She held his gaze.
‘You’re the one that got away, Rocky,’ she said softly.
There wasn’t much he could say to that. He wasn’t going to take responsibility for her regret. But he did admire her for coming to see him. He had been a little nervous about how to handle her on the wedding day. It would be so much easier if they were all amicable. For pre-wedding meals, at the registry office, in photographs. And in the future, when the baby was here.
He held out his hand for her to take. ‘Truce,’ he said, and they shook hands, and he turned away, feeling emotional, whistling to Lara and walking on ahead so Tina wouldn’t see his tears.
Maybe now he could move on properly, at last? Rid himself of any traces of guilt; any residue of bitterness. No one wanted to bring any of that to a new relationship. He had still felt the shadow of his failed marriage when he had been out with Melissa. But with those few words from Tina, he felt as if his slate was clean.
Eventually he slowed to let Tina catch up, and they talked, swapping trivial details about their everyday lives, and chatting about Jake and Ethan. And, of course, the wedding. Tina was uncertain what to give them as a present, and Rocky made a few suggestions for the house. He offered to drive her over to the Linhay to see it, but they decided it would be nicer for Jake and Robyn to show her at a later date.
‘I’ve taken the week off,’ Tina told him. ‘To get ready for the wedding.’
As they turned back from the lighthouse, Rocky felt lighter and freer. Any anxiety he’d had about the wedding day melted away with their reconciliation. It was good, to walk with Tina and feel like companions, years of resentment no longer between them.
He looked at his watch discreetly. If they got back in time, he could text Melissa, see if she’d like to meet for dinner instead. He would have some grovelling to do, but if he was lucky, she might still be free.
39
The sun was low in the sky as Robyn drove back from the train station to Hawksworthy Farm, willing the journey to come to an end. All she wanted was to fall into bed. She was exhausted from the travel and all the emotion. She longed to fall asleep and let her addled brain process everything that had happened. But she knew she had something to do before she had that luxury.
She had to tell Mick and Sheila straight away. She couldn’t keep it from them a moment longer. Until today, meeting her mother had only been a dream. Now it was real.
She hoped they would be as overjoyed as she was. She couldn’t wait to share with them how wonderful both Emily and Jonathan were, and how kind they had been, but of course she was mindful that this might not be welcome news. Not straight away, anyway. Perhaps they would need the time to digest the shock before she gave them any details.
If only Jake was here. She needed to tell him, too. Would he feel aggrieved that she hadn’t trusted him?
Now she was heading down the drive to home, reality was closing in. Uncertainty nipped at her conscience. Her
stomach churned with the anxiety. It rather dampened the euphoria she had felt on the train. She told herself to pull herself together. She had to be brave.
Sheila and Mick were sitting at the kitchen table when she came in. There were pieces of paper everywhere – they must be doing the accounts – surrounded by several empty mugs of tea. They looked up, startled, for she had come in quietly and Mouse, their alarm system, hadn’t barked at her.
‘Oh, love.’ Sheila started putting the pieces of paper in a pile. ‘How did it go? Show me what you got.’ She looked up, eager to look at Robyn’s spoils. ‘Are your bags still in the car? Dad’ll fetch them for you.’
Robyn sat down at the table. She couldn’t waste time. If she didn’t tell them straight away, she never would.
‘I haven’t got any bags. I’ve got something to tell you both.’
Sheila put a hand to her throat. ‘Not the baby?’
Robyn realised how serious she must look. She tried to smile.
‘Everything’s fine. Honestly. It’s nothing to worry about. It’s just … in the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to trace my birth mother.’
Both of them stared at her. The clock on the wall ticked slowly. Outside, the evening breeze picked up and began to whump down the chimney.
‘I didn’t say anything until now. But we got in contact, and I went to Bath today to meet her.’
‘You told me you were going shopping.’ Sheila looked accusing. ‘You said you needed shoes.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Sheila frowned. ‘Surely you could have said something?’
‘But it might have come to nothing. There was no point.’
‘At least we would have known. That you wanted to know.’
‘I didn’t want to upset you.’
Sheila gave a short bark of laughter. ‘So you lied instead?’
‘Sheila, love.’ Mick gave his wife a warning glance.
‘We’ve always been open with each other. About everything. Haven’t we?’ Sheila looked stricken.
‘You have, Mum. Yes. But when I started looking, I never thought I’d be able to find her. But I did. And it kind of escalated.’
A Wedding at the Beach Hut: The escapist and feel-good read of 2020 from the bestselling author of THE BEACH HUT Page 25
