by E K Bennett
“I miss you so much, Lyd,” she sighs. “School is such a drag, and I’m driving myself crazy hanging out with Adam and Josh all the time. I mean, I love them to death, but Jesus. A girl can only take so much testosterone before she starts biting her nails again!”
I laugh. She used to bite her nails a few years ago, but she broke the habit when she starting dating Adam. “Do you think glow in the dark nail polish is toxic after it’s dried?” she ponders, which only makes me laugh harder. I have to cover my mouth so I don’t wake anyone up.
“You should come here tomorrow,” I say.
“But what about school?” she says. “And won’t you get in trouble because I’m not here for a ‘scheduled visit’?” She uses a deep, mocking tone when she says ‘scheduled visit’.
“You say this like you’ve never skipped school before,” I laugh. “And I think I have an idea as to how I can sneak out. I met this really cool nurse that can break me out. How about tomorrow at one?”
“Sounds good,” she says with a smile in her voice.
“Cool,” I say, then before she can hang up I add, “And could you maybe see if Josh wants to come?”
I bite my lip, hoping I don’t sound too desperate, but Sam just laughs on the other line. “Sure, I’ll ask him. You guys would be cute together! I should set you up.”
“Shut up!” I tease, smirking to myself . “And talk about awkward!”
I can’t get the memory out of my head from when he tried to hold my hand that last night I saw him, even though it was totally embarrassing because my hands were beyond un-holdable and I pulled my hand away immediately at his touch. Should I have sucked it up and let him hold it? Did I hurt his feelings? Make him feel stupid? I feel my cheeks heating up at the thought.
“You’re blushing, dude,” she says.
“How do you even know that?” I laugh. “You’re such a telepathic freak!”
“I’m special!” she says, before saying goodbye.
I hang up the phone and turn around to thank Lissi…or I mean Natalie, but she’s already halfway down the hall, walking quickly as if trying to get away from me and murmuring to herself.
“Don’t, Liss,” she says to herself. “Wait until I get back to my room.” Then her voice goes up an octave, and I don’t think she realizes I can hear her. “That’s right, Nat, let’s get back to the room so you can rest. Wait till tomorrow, she’s going to freak.”
“Shut up, stop pretending you can see the future,” she tells Lissi.
“Shut up,” Lissi repeats in a mocking tone, “and stop pretending you can see ghosts!”
“I’m not pretending!”
“Then neither am I. Let’s get the hell out, she can hear us.”
Natalie turns around and I gasp then speed out of the reception area, not caring where my room is and how long it’ll get there. Nothing makes sense here anyway.
25. She Draws on the Floor
"Please, Samantha!" I whisper desperately. If anyone but her hears this, she could get fired and I an extra hour of therapy.
"I told you no! I'm not sneaking you out or her in."
Damn, I thought she was cool. Guess not. "And I told you that I need this desperately. If I schedule a visit, she can only stay for a half hour and under close watch. And this is really private."
"You're not supposed to be keeping secrets here, Lydia," Samantha says.
"And we're not supposed to be having this conversation. Now could you just sneak me out?"
"You'll freeze outside. There's no way I'm risking my job and your health for this."
I laugh dryly. "Bullshit, my health. I'm already insane, seeing this fucking ghost."
I stop short. Did I say that out loud? By the look on Samantha's face, that'd be a yes. I sigh and look around the hall to see if anyone heard me, but we're alone. "Follow me," I sigh.
When we get into my room, I shut the door and take out my almost dried out sharpie from under my pillow. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed these," I gesture at all the doodles of Lotty on my wall depicting every murder Lotty had committed.
"This," I point the sharpie at a single drawing of Lotty's face; the left portion of it looking completely normal and the right twisted and bloody, "is Lotty. She died at the turn of the nineteenth century on her ninth birthday." I point to the window where I drew my first scene. "A group if kids drowned her."
A look of horror grows on the nurse's face. I want to laugh.
"That's not even the worst part." I jump off the bed and walk over to a dark drawing of a little girl standing over the body of a boy. She's holding a large rock above his head, about to strike. "When Lotty was seven, she killed her brother. They were poor, lived in a cramped house on the countryside and he thought he could make a quick buck by betting with his friend that he could scare his little sister until she cried. But Lotty's not afraid of anything.
"In this one, Lotty buried a girl alive. That one she set the house on fire, killing a family of four, including a toddler. Slit this kid's throat and threw him in ditch. Smothered this one with a pillow, and she was fifteen years old. Lotty was Ruthless. Still is."
Samantha stares at the drawings, horrified. "How do you know all this?"
I look at the drawing of the house on fire. "I think she's feeding me the memories. She knows that I've figured out her past and now I'm guessing she's making it clear that I'm right. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, grab the sharpie and draw. It's not until I'm done that all the details become clear. It's like reading a really sick book."
"So they killed her because they found out she was a murderer?"
I nod. "I know about every single murder she committed. But I don't know why she did it. and now she follows me everywhere."
Samantha gasps, looking behind me and I turn around. Lotty giggles, standing before me innocently with her golden hair and pleated black dress. I back away.
"Can you see her too?" I whisper without taking my eyes off of Lotty.
"Mhmm..." Samantha's voice shakes.
I uncap the sharpie and drop to the ground, drawing on the floor instead of the wall this time. In my head, a girl with bouncy blonde hair is walking down a brightly lit corridor with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She has black hair down to her waist that curls and twists like waves in the ocean. She wears brown boots and a blue skirt with a scarf around her neck. But her eyes are the saddest I've ever seen. Her mouth moves but I can't hear anything she's saying.
The blonde puts a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder and they turn a corner. The blonde opens a door and follows the girl into another brightly lit room, which looks a lot like my hospital room.
When she comes back out into the hall, Lotty is waiting for her. The blonde is tucking a pair of shiny scissors under her waistband, and by the time she notices Lotty, the scissors have already impaled her in the neck. Lotty smiles and puts her hands on the blonde's lower back, giving her a light shove that somehow sends her flying down the hallway. Then she smashes the second story window and falls to the ground with a sickening thud. And Lotty's laugh is like nails on a chalkboard...
I drop the sharpie and immediately draw in a quick breath. This drawing is different from the rest. I never get the details until the end, and this time I had the most vivid vision of them all. I quickly throw myself over the drawing so Samantha can't see it and look at Lotty.
The ghost smiles at me and disappears, then I look at Samantha. She's white as a sheet, but still asks, "What just happened?"
I shake my head. "You need to leave. You can't see it."
"I think I have a right to see it, I've already seen Lotty!" she protests like a child. Then she adds, "That was Lotty, right?"
I shake my head. "Just go. Something's wrong. Forget about sneaking me out and get out. Forget about everything."
"But why?"
"JUST GO!" I scream at her. "And don't you dare think I'm crazy. Don't send people to give me meds, don't bother me about this."
&
nbsp; She jumps back, startled by my scream. "Is that why you're here?" she asks, ignoring my warning. "Your parents think you're crazy because you can see ghosts?"
"NO!" I yell. "Just...you should leave. I'm not the one who cut myself...well I guess technically I did; it was my own hand holding the knife. But Lotty possessed me and...whatever. But she's really dangerous so I think you should just go. I need to talk to Sam about this anyway. Forget about any of this."
She shakes her head. "Fine. But I'm worried about you. Did you tell anyone about this?"
"Samantha! Just GO!" I snap.
She hurries out of the room, and I catch a glimpse of her blonde hair swinging behind her before she closes the door.
26. She Chokes
As soon as the door clicks shut I break into choking sobs. I can't take my eyes off the drawing; Samantha flying out of a window with a pair of silver scissors planted six inches into her neck. "Please, Lotty," I cry, wanting it to all go away. "She didn't do anything to you!"
And then, as if on cue, the little girl appears three feet in front of me with a dangerous look on her face. A look that says I can't stop her. But I have to.
I chuck my marker at her, but it seems to deflect off of her before it even makes contact with her skin. She chuckles in that sickeningly familiar tone, resonating off the walls and beating me in the face.
"Just fucking leave me alone! I'm sick of this!" I shout. People probably think I'm insane, but then again this is a mental hospital.
Lotty doesn't say anything, of course, she just sits there looking stupid. "This isn't a game! I'm tired of you dictating my life, like you're just waiting for me to crack so you can take over my body without anyone missing me! I'd rather die than have you following me everywhere, ruining everything I love!"
She stares at me blankly, but it's a strange stare. Unnerving. I'm about to say something else when it feels like two hands are wrapped around my throat, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Two very little hands, the hands of a nine year old.
I gasp for air, but nothing enters my lungs. I feel like someone stranded in the desert, gone a days without water. How she's doing it, I don't know, because she's still just standing there with that sick expression on her face.
I want to scream at her to stop, to scream for someone to maybe try to get her to stop, but how can I even do that? What would they do, throw a sharpie at her? I'm going to die, right here, right now. And so is Samantha, and it'll be all my fault.
And then the door swings open and Lotty disappears. I collapse to my knees, breathing heavily, and cry again.
"Is everything all right?" the old nurse says. I cry harder, mostly because she's an idiot since duh I'm not okay, and also because part of me wishes she was Samantha.
"I'm fine," I croak. "I just...miss my family."
"Oh," she coos, and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Well would you like to give them a call?"
I glance at her watch and realize Sam should be here in about ten minutes, so I say, "No, they're coming to visit this weekend. I think... I think I'll go get some lunch."
The nurse let's me go and, glad to be rid of her, I quickly sneak into a back hallway that leads to one of the parking lots so I can go meet up with Sam. My legs are still shaking and it's hard to look inconspicuous, plus my head hurts from the lack of oxygen and all the crying. The hall is empty, but it branches off from one of the busier ones, so I have to be quick so i'm not seen. Just as I'm turning the corner, though, I see a flash of black hair and a blue scarf.
Well shit.
I press my back against the wall, hoping she won't notice me, but the girl from my vision catches my eye and follows me down the corridor.
"What?" I say coldly. Just because I've seen her in a daydream doesn't mean that I should treat her better than any other weirdo at this hospital.
"What yourself?" she says just as sharply, in a somewhat deep voice.
"Cute," I say, and start to turn around, but she grabs my shoulder and pulls me back with more force than I thought possible for her size. I rub my neck protectively, still feeling like at any moment it could close up again.
I take a step back. "Fine. I'm getting some air. I need to meet someone outside to talk about something really important, so I need to go. It's urgent."
"Are you trying to run away?" she says, her voice drastically lighter. I raise an eyebrow, reminded of Lissi and Natalie, but don't say anything.
I roll my eyes. "Um, no. I'm not that stupid."
She lowers her voice again, and says under her breath, "Could have fooled me..." then jolts up slightly and says, "Ugh, sorry about that."
"What was that?" I question.
"It was n-nothing..." she whispers. "Just, um, don't get caught... You know you look a lot like my... Never mind..."
Her eyes pool with tears and she quickly looks at her feet, which only makes them spill out down her cheeks. I thank her awkwardly and turn around, then, at the last minute, say, "Oh, one more thing. If the blonde nurse tries to cut your hair, don't let her in your room. And I'd just stay away from her if I were you."
It's the only thing I can think of that could possibly save Samantha. Maybe if she doesn't even meet this girl, Lotty won't kill her. The girl just nods and bites her bottom lip to keep from letting more tears fall.
Yes, maybe now Samantha's safe.
Only Lotty's familiar giggle confirms that I'm very wrong. I break into a run and crash through the door and into the parking lot. I need to talk to Sam before it's too late.
27. She Fights
The air is incredibly cold, and as soon as I step outside I regret not bringing a jacket . But when I think about it, that would have been pretty suspicious to be wearing a coat around the hospital. One look around and I recognize a thin sheet of snow blanketing everything in sight. It’s wonderful and scary all at once, the snow, seeing as it’s always too cold in Charlotte for snow to stick on the ground. When it does snow, though, the city practically shuts down. Almost every business is closed for the day, only a handful of cars are carefully dotting the roads, and probably every kid in a forty mile radius is sleeping in because school is cancelled. Everyone is hiding and everything is silent. No birds, no one mowing their lawn, no chirping of insects, nothing. Just a silent winter where all you can hear is the snowflakes hitting the snow and maybe your own chest rising and falling as you let out puffy breaths of air from your lungs.
Not even twenty feet from me is a busy hospital, where everyone is unaware of my absence and the snow and the silence because everyone is busy. Not twenty feet from where I stand is the building where a young nurse will be murdered for no good reason at all, with nothing I can do to save her. And yet, here I am outside in a world of sleepwalkers and snow. And they’re completely unaware of everything. I rub my sore neck. It feels raw and swollen, even though Lotty didn’t lay a single hand on me. But it feels like I’ve been full-on strangled by a grown adult.. How can I possibly save Samantha if Lotty could kill a person without so much as lifting her little finger?
Suddenly Sam’s voice rings out through the painful silence.
“Oh God, Lydia, how long have you been standing here? Are you okay?”
Hearing her voice is comforting and I turn around to face her, and she’s taking off her sweatshirt to give to me. It’s her favorite one, with glow in the dark stars scattered across the shoulders. I put it on, but still feel numb beyond repair.
“Thanks,” I croak and my voice cracks. I realize I’ve been crying silently starting from the moment I stepped out here.
“What happened?” She asks and pulls me in for a hug. Her hair smells like dye; she must have just changed the color recently. It’s purple now.
I shake my head. “So much has happened,” I start to explain, and wipe my icy tears off my cheeks only to have new ones sprout from my eyes. “I’m such a cry baby now, I cry about every little thing.”
Sam stops me there. “You’re not a cry baby. You’ve been through a lot. Why don’t I a
sk my mom to take us to the diner for some hot chocolate?”
“No, wait,” I object and pull her back, because she’s already started to walk to the car. She stops. “I can’t leave, I need your help.”
“Anything,” she offers.
I start explaining everything that’s happened since I got here, and we walk around the perimeter of the building to keep warm. Sam suggests we sit in her mom’s car but I object. “You don’t have to worry about her thinking we’re crazy, she’s the one who bought me all those books about paranormalities. I think she knew about Lotty before I did. The day that you and Miranda got in the fight, my mom could tell there was something wrong with you,” Sam says almost bitterly. Like maybe she could have changed things. Of course, she couldn’t have, though.
