“I know, but how can I face him again after what I did?” I say, as Jade looks over to Stella who’s just realized that what I meant to say is that I slept with Ace. That I practically cheated on my loyal boyfriend with the king Horseman.
“You didn’t cheat. You guys were broken up, you agreed to take a break. You told me so yourself. You just need to make it permanent now, end things for good. It’s the only way to make sure he doesn’t find out. Break up with Drake, tell him it’s over. And then you need to start dating Ace,” Jade states, anxiously running a hand through her hair.
“What? Are you crazy?” Stella and I say at the same time.
“It’s the only way to keep him out of this. If you end things with Drake, Ace doesn’t have any reason to tell Drake what happened between you two. And if you get together with Ace, Drake will know you’ve moved on and back off. Besides, you still need to use Ace to find out why Agent Servite wants to contact Lilith. He seems to be going to extremes to find her and that can’t be good. Scar, you need to help him find your mom. I need to know what happened to Chaz, not because I care about the asshole, but because I need to find my brother. I need to know that Roman is okay and finding Chaz is the only way. I know my father knows where he is. He always has.”
“Jade, I…”
“I know what I’m asking of you, Scar. It’s selfish and cruel but you’re my sister and I need your help. You obviously like Ace or you wouldn’t have slept with him. I can see the attraction you two have to one another. It’s electrifying, magnetic. Like Stella said, the sexual tension when you two are in a room together is intense.”
“She’s right,” adds Stella. “I’ve never seen Ace react this way with anyone else. The way he looks at you, the way he responds when you stand up to him, when you challenge his power. You throw him off his horse, literally. He seems out of control when you’re near, almost human, not the ruthless robot they’ve trained him to be.”
“I…” I stutter unsure of what to say.
“It’s the only way, Scar, to beat Agent Servite at his own game. By turning his most loyal soldier against him,” says Jade, taking my hand in hers.
“A whole new meaning to sleeping with the enemy,” I say softly.
The next morning, as I am eagerly walking toward Westerly Hall, the thing I’ve dreaded most occurs. I run into Drake. I had purposefully left twenty minutes early in case he was outside the girls’ house waiting for me. He hadn’t texted me since the party, but Jade mentioned he had been eager to get in contact with me. She was able to convince him to give me some space when they had arrived back at the academy the night of the masquerade ball. I’m not sure what excuse she had given him, but I was thankful either way. I couldn’t face him right now. Not after what I’d done. Not after what Jade asked me to do. You need to end things for good. It’s the only way to make sure he doesn’t find out. Break up with Drake, tell him it’s over. And then you need to start dating Ace. I knew she was right.
Drake was a curious soul. He needed to know things, and I was terrible at hiding them from him. The only way to keep him safe, and away from all this trouble with Agent Servite and my mom was to make him believe we were over, and I’d moved on. I hated that I was going to hurt him, break his trust, and ruin what was possibly the truest relationship I have ever had. But it had to be done. I owed it to him. I needed to end things before I betrayed him further. I owed it to Jade to help find her brother. I needed to stop being so selfish.
I see him walking toward me in his uniform minus the blazer, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up just below his elbows, his dark, wavy hair tousled atop his head. I can see his emerald eyes darkening the closer he gets to me. They are looking right through me. What was I thinking? I can’t just break up with him and walk away. No, this is going to be harder than I thought. Drake is my guardian, my closest confidant. He’s going to see right through this fake façade.
“Scar, we need to talk,” he says as he stands in front of me, blocking my way.
“There is nothing that can’t wait till later. I need to get to class, Dragon. Macallan hates it when I’m late,” I say as I try walking around him.
He reaches out for me, gripping my wrist tightly.
“Bullshit. You’re avoiding me and I want to know why.”
I turn back toward him looking directly between his hand and its tight grip around my wrist. “Let go of me, Drake,” I say, but he doesn’t loosen his hold on me.
“Not until you agree to talk.”
“I don’t answer well to threats, Dragon. You, better than anyone, should know this. A threat makes you the enemy and we both know that’s not what you want.”
He gazes into my eyes for a moment before letting go of my wrist. He steps back slightly, running a hand through his raven locks.
“What I want is for you to stop bullshitting me and tell me what the fuck is going on,” he says, stepping closer to me.
“No can-do, Dragon. I’ve got to get to class.” I try once again to step around him and almost manage to make it to the front doors of Westerly Hall before he grabs me again. This time he hooks a hand around my waist turning me flush against him.
“Scarlett, for the love of…”
“What god?” I say laughing. It is now or never. Drake isn’t going to stop digging unless I make it clear that I am done. Done with us, done with him, done with everything; not until I convince him that this place has changed me for the worse. He isn’t going to stop trying to figure me out until I give him a reason to want to stay as far away from me as possible. It is time to break up with my boyfriend if I can even still call him that. He’ll surely hate me after this, but it is the only way to keep him safe. Like I said, Drake needs to know things. But the things here are too dangerous for him to know.
“There is no god, Dragon. Least of all here. All the devils are here and we’re all walking amongst them. And I must say I’ve never felt more at home.” He loosens his hold on my waist slightly and I manage to step back from him. “This,” I say, motioning between us, “This is over. I’m tired of your incessant questioning for any and every little thing I do. I told you I don’t answer to anybody, least of all to you. And you need to understand that. I was right before. This was a mistake. I should have never initiated a relationship with you, but I did. And you were right. I did it out of spite. Because Ace Servite was getting under my skin and I needed to prove that he couldn’t control me. That I can kiss whoever I want, and fuck whoever I want, and he isn’t going to tell me otherwise.” Bile threatens to make its way up my esophagus at my words.
My dragon, he looks torn, broken, and confused. He runs his fingers through his hair once more.
“You’re a horrible liar, Scarlett. But fine, you don’t want to tell me what’s really going on. Fuck it, I can’t make you. You need to bullshit yourself with this lie for some reason, so be it. I’ll just have to figure it out on my own,” he says before turning and walking away. And I almost stop him. Almost. I need to let him walk away. Maybe Jade will be able to stop him from digging. Or Ruby. I’m sure she’ll hate me and want to keep her brother as far away from me as possible. Yes, I need to convince her to stop him.
I turn toward the doors, but before I can open them, I hear a loud clapping coming from behind me. And to no surprise of course, Ace stands at the edge of the building, a cigarette in his mouth, a smug grin plastered on his stupidly perfect face. Clearly, he witnessed my breakup with Drake and the smug bastard that he is, I’m sure he believes it’s his doing. Not wanting to listen to whatever childish remark he’s going to make, I ignore him and walk into the building heading into my homeroom class.
Inside, Macallan is already seated at the front of his desk, and he eyes me warily as I make my way to my seat throwing my bag on my desk and falling back into my chair with a loud thud. As I take a seat, I turn back to the front of the class and notice Ace has walked in with the lit cigarette still between his lips. His eyes are locked with mi
ne as he begins to walk toward me.
“Hem,” says Macallan, clearing his throat, as he holds out the trash bin beside his desk toward Ace. Ace turns to him reluctantly tossing the cigarette into the bin, then slowly making his way to the desk beside me falling into his chair with a thud. He turns to me, those ocean eyes locked on mine and a shrewd smirk taking over.
“I must admit I didn’t think you had it in you, Red. That spitfire.”
I ignore him and instead pull out my MacBook and keep my gaze on Macallan at the front of the class. I remember Jade’s words telling me I need to keep Ace on a short leash and use him to gain access to information about my mother and Chaz. I need to make him believe I broke up with Drake because of him. That I chose him. There is nothing more alluring to a condescending asshole than making him believe he’s won. That he’s gotten something Drake had. Me.
“It was past due,” I say, batting my eyelashes and turning toward him. “Drake and I, we just weren’t clicking anymore. The sex just wasn’t enough. Nothing compared to you and me.”
He sits up straight, a smug look plastered on his face.
“What can I say, Dragon Boy just doesn’t know you the way I do.” His smile widens, a cocky twinkle in his eye, and fuck if it doesn’t get me hot.
“Oh really, now I’m intrigued. Why do you say that?”
“He sees this damsel in need of saving. I see a warrior cloaked behind a coat of steel armor. A devil disguised as an angel. The real you.” His response, serious and unexpected catches me off guard and for once in my life, I have no idea what to say.
TWENTY–SIX
SCARLETT
“He sees this damsel in need of saving. I see a warrior cloaked behind a coat of steel armor. A devil disguised as an angel. The real you.”
I head over to the dining hall courtyard for lunch looking to meet up with Stella and Jade, Ace’s words still echoing loudly in my mind. He’s ruthless, cold, and calculating, yet at times he says things like this. Things so raw, full of emotion, and it makes me question if the way he acts, if how he behaves, is all just an act. A cloak of cruelty to fool those around him or if it truly is a mask whose sole purpose is to disguise his true nature. A devil with a golden halo or an angel with black, tar-soaked wings. My savior or my eternal damnation.
As I’m approaching, I see Jade and Stella already seated at the table we usually occupy located at the farthest end of the courtyard, under a large red and yellow tree that hides us from outside eyes. I look around the large outdoor area, hoping to see any of the others heading over, but they’re nowhere to be found. Instead, I slide onto the bench across from Jade throwing my bag on top of the table with a grunt and notice them both staring up at me questioningly.
“What?” I ask, turning behind me but not seeing anything out of the ordinary they could be glaring at.
“So, did you do it?” asks Jade a little too eagerly, and now I know why she’s acting so odd.
“Do you see him around?” I reply snidely, a deep frown on my face as I dig in my bag for my box of cigarettes and lighter. Yes, I’m aware it’s against the academy rules to smoke on campus but after the altercation with Drake, and my confrontation with Ace, I need a smoke. Badly. I bring the cigarette to my lips and light it blowing a cloud of smoke in their direction.
“Fuck. I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” she says as she sits back clearly shocked.
“What else was I supposed to do?” I snap, and Stella looks to me shrugging her shoulders. I tap the cig lightly against the tabletop causing a small pool of ash to form atop it.
“It’s for the best, Scarlett. I mean, I haven’t known Drake for long, but the Horsemen won’t back down. They’re ruthless, vengeful, dangerous even. Ace will stop at nothing. He’ll do everything in his power, fair or not, to make you his. That can mean real trouble for Drake,” Stella says, reaching her hand out to me.
I turn away not wanting to show any real emotions or how truly broken up I am about losing Drake. If I let my emotions get the best of me, I’m afraid there will be no turning back. This one hurt, much more than any of the other let downs and defeats I’ve endured. This was a part of me broken and torn to pieces. I feel pulled apart at the seams, a scrap of what ought to be my heart, bloody and beaten. I know it was the right thing to do, the only thing that needed to be done, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
“Have you seen him?” I ask, blowing out another cloud of smoke. I lift my eyes and see the students around us glaring in my direction, straight at the lit cig in my mouth. So I put it out deciding I’ve had enough. The last thing I need is to be taken in by Agent Servite today.
“I have him in Chem, but he wasn’t in class,” replies Jade, looking around the courtyard. “Haven’t seen Kai or Jaxon either.”
“And Ruby?” I ask, and as if I had summoned the Red Dragon myself, she appears behind me fuming.
“You little bitch!” she shrieks, and I quickly stand to meet her piercing gaze.
“I knew it. I knew you’d screw him, and then screw him,” she says, laughing maniacally. Her green eyes would be burning a hole through me if they could, I know she’s surely wishing for once I’d catch on fire.
“I warned him not to get involved with you. You’re a heartless, selfish bitch who doesn’t have a care in the world for anyone but herself. You’ve never had a real family, and you just waltzed into our home and inserted yourself in ours,” she shouts, not once blinking an eyelash.
I hold her gaze just the same but fuck she’s right. My pride however, greedy bitch that she is, doesn’t allow me to back down.
“I should have never accepted you, never thrown in the white towel. I hated you from the start and I should have gone with my gut instinct. They would have followed me, listened to me, and kept away from you. I knew you would ruin the one good thing we had. The closest thing we’d ever had to family. It’s your fault we’re here, you’re to blame for my brother’s broken heart, his broken soul. You knew he was fucked up in more ways than one could even imagine and yet you tore him to pieces not caring what the consequences would be. You egotistical, self-centered whore!”
“You’re right, Dragon. I’m selfish, I am the worst kind of selfish. I willingly use people to make myself feel superior, valuable. And when I’m done with them, I toss them away without looking back. I guess it’s another way mommy dearest fucked me up. You best keep your brother away from me if you know what’s best for him.”
She reaches out to me, slapping me across the face. The sting of her palm against my skin burns, but the pain is nothing compared to the blaze raging inside of me, killing me for betraying Drake this way. For lying to Ruby and making her hate me more than she already did. But this is the only way to make sure they’re not harmed in all of this. Selfish as I am, I won’t let my friends, my family burn for my sins.
On Thursday morning I wake up at dawn before everyone else, and head over to Astor House hoping to catch Drake before he heads out to class. It’s been three days since we ended things officially and I haven’t seen him or heard from him. I know I should leave him alone, let him heal. I need to give him space and should be avoiding him if I want him to believe that I meant all I said, but I can’t get the broken look he had on his face out of my mind. I caused that. I made him feel unworthy. Unwanted. A man who has been by my side since the day we met. A boy with an insurmountable amount of childhood trauma and issues I can’t even begin to comprehend. I need to make sure he’s okay, and since at the moment no one but Jade and Stella will speak to me, I need to see it for myself.
As I approach the steps of the house, I see Kai and Jaxon walking out of the building toward me. They are deep in conversation and as they both look up and see me, the wide grins on their faces suddenly turn into deep scowls. Fuck. They’re pissed.
“Well, well,” says Jax, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest as he stops in front of me. “If it isn’t the heartless bitch. Here to break another poo
r man’s heart, princess?” he sneers and fuck if it doesn’t hurt.
It’s true but it hurts nonetheless. Jax was my breath of fresh air. The calm during my storm. The most normal of all the people in my life and the only hope I had that someday I’d be okay. After all he’s been through, so much sorrow, and he’s managed to stay sane. And now he looks at me with sheer hate. No, not hate, nor anger, but something much worse. Disappointment. Disgust. I get it, I’m well deserving of it all. Drake is his family, his brother. I just came along for the ride.
“Shut the fuck up, Jaxon,” says Kai, punching him on the shoulder.
He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist hugging me tight to his body without saying a word. I lay my head against his shoulder and we stand unmoving. Tears I haven’t shed in years well up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them out. After a few moments, he releases me slowly and I bring my gaze up to his. He doesn’t say anything, but I can see the understanding in his face. He knows why I did it, why I had to do it. He doesn’t know the exact reasoning behind my decision, but he knows I had no other choice.
“Walk with me, Scar,” he says, reaching out for my hand and we turn away from Jax heading out towards campus. I hear him scoff as we walk away but I decide it’s best to ignore it. His words are valid, his disappointment justified by my actions.
Kai and I walk in silence for a few moments before he finally speaks.
“So,” he says with a pause, his hands nervously tucked in his front pockets. “You dating Ace Servite now?” he asks bluntly.
“Unofficially,” I reply, and he shakes his head, a deep chuckle escaping him. Ace and I haven’t spoken much since Monday but with Drake out of the way, I’m fairly sure he’ll make his move any day now. “Spit it out,” I say when he stays quiet at my response.
The Four Horsemen : A Servite Academy For Troubled Teens Novel Page 25
