by J. C. Allen
“You look handsome.”
“I’m nervous more than handsome,” I said with a genuine smile. “Are you ready to go?”
We were meeting her parents at the hotel they were staying at to have dinner. I still wished she didn’t have to travel anywhere, but she wasn’t on bed rest, either.
“I was. But—”
She winced and took my hand. Her eyes watered as she tries to sit up.
“I think my water broke.”
Hours later, we had rushed to the hospital. Everyone was on standby from both families. I was in the room with Grace, absolutely losing my shit, while my family and her parents were outside. I was worried about how they would react, but over the phone, once I told them she was in labor, they didn’t have much else to say. They just shifted into action mode.
It was kind of nice—it didn’t give me any reason to stress out. Not that I really needed a reason with my little girl about to be born.
“It’s too soon,” Grace nervously whispered.
I sat next to her and held her hand.
“The doctor said it’s fine. A couple of weeks is OK.”
I pushed her hair back and kissed her damp forehead. She breathed deeply through the pain as I watched in awe of her. Thank God I never have to worry about losing her ever again.
There was so much going on in the back of my mind, between her parents and trying to keep the club safe, but those were thoughts for another day. All I cared about right then was waiting for my baby to come so we could start our family.
And then, right on cue, our doctor walked in.
“Looks like you’re ready to push.”
Grace and I nodded as I squeezed her hand. Somehow, she found the strength to squeeze even tighter.
“Matthew,” Grace said, gripping my hand tighter.
“I’m here angel, I’m not going anywhere.”
I kissed her hand over where her diamond ring was on her finger. I had to get it after, but I was glad she got to pick it out.
The doctor told her to push. My hand hurt like hell, but I was sure she hurt more. Grace still powered through, though.
And then, I heard the cries of my first child in the room.
“You did it,” I said.
I kissed Grace and went over to cut the cord. My heart stops in my chest when I see her.
“Sure enough, it’s a girl,” I said, smiling over at Grace, who smiles uncontrollably.
The nurse swaddled her and brought her over to Grace. The baby’s cries died down almost immediately. She’ll be a quiet one. She had light hair and green eyes like her mom.
“She’s beautiful.”
I smiled and tried not to cry. It was so perfect, so beautiful.
“She is.”
Grace stroked her cheek, and the baby closed her eyes as she lay on Grace’s chest.
“She looks like you.”
“I know.”
And I couldn’t be happier for it.
Our family came in to meet her, and we already decided on a name by then.
Lauren Rose Kinsmen.
And now, with Grace and Lauren in my life, I finally, truly felt happy.
“I love you, Grace.”
I kissed her and then our daughter’s cheek, soft and already perfect.
“I love you too.”
Zeke
1
Zeke
“I don’t think babies are actually cute, I think it’s just the chubby cheeks.”
“You insult my kid, you can’t come in my house.”
I was with Matthew at his house, looking down at his newborn baby. I laughed at my own joke but also leaned in to take a look at his kid. It was admittedly weird, seeing him like this. He was all domesticated and… fatherly. The same Matthew that used to steal my toys and give me wedgies is now changing a diaper. How time flies.
“I mean it’s true. But even if that is the case, Lauren is very cute.”
“Yes, she is. And smelly. Her favorite food is those nasty peas, they don’t come out very nicely.”
I just laughed at Matthew’s situation; I’m sure that it was very rewarding, but I was quite glad that I didn’t have to deal with it at this stage of my life. The idea that I could take care of another woman, let alone a baby, was something that was downright laughable. I was Zeke Kinsmen, someone who embraced the term “player,” someone who was unafraid to lay out my sex rules, and someone who was so focused on getting laid and nothing more that it embarrassed even my brothers.
But what the fuck did they know? They were all practically old men now, now that they had settled down and gotten married. It was ridiculous to think that I would ever get married; I had a better chance of opening my own club than I did of getting married, and the former was akin to a death wish.
I suppose the latter is too for the good life!
In any case, I took a moment to take in the nursery. I had been in the nursery before, but every time I came in, it seemed to change a bit. The colors were still bright yellow and pink, designed to bring happiness even when you didn’t want it at three in the morning. Lauren had a matching crib and changing table; Matthew had even changed the rug to a bright yellow color too. There was a photo wall that always caught my eye, right above her crib—one of the whole Kinsmen family when dad was still alive.
I still got that uneasy feeling that came with seeing his photos around, as it was a cruel reminder that he was gone.
“Sounds like you need to stop feeding her those peas,” I cracked, as much an attempt to not be thinking about the path of my thoughts. “Maybe just a suggestion.”
Matthew frowned at me but finished up all the same. He let me hold Lauren while he washed his hands in the attached bathroom. Somehow, she hadn’t gotten to the annoying noise making stage yet. In fact, she only cried when she was hungry or tired, not for absolutely no reason. They’re lucky.
“Then she’ll start fussing without the peas. My only job is to make sure she doesn’t make noise so Grace can relax.”
“How noble of you.”
We moved to the kitchen, as much to let the movement wake Matthew up as to get away from the smell. Grace was napping on the couch, so I attempted to be quiet. Matthew made Lauren her lunch, and I strapped her into the high chair. It was funny how, only a year ago this place was a complete bachelor pad for Matthew; now, it was almost all fuzzy toys and bottles and an impenetrable baby smell. God help me if this happens to me anytime soon.
“You talk to mom lately?” Matthew said as he started to feed Lauren.
“Nah,” I said as I scrolled down my phone to find messages from a few girls—about as opposite a life as any of my brothers had. Someone has to be the last holdout. “I’m sure she’s fine. She has been working a lot though.”
Mom had been at the hospital more than the house these days except when we had family dinners. I suspected part of it was that my brothers had become overbearing and whipped, making life hard for even Mom. The only problem was that all of them, including Mom, kept pestering me about when I’d be next—when I’d find the love of my life. I always cracked the same joke. You all got your one life stands, I’m still enjoying my one night stands.
Admittedly, I liked to make my mother happy, so maybe, maybe, just maybe someday, I might bring a woman over… but it was unlikely I would ever actually be monogamous in my life. I liked having variety way too much.
“Yeah, I just hope she hasn’t been down lately.”
“Make her babysit,” I cracked. “That makes people happy.”
He stopped what he was doing with Lauren and gave me an annoyed look, as if he couldn’t believe I had said what I said.
“No, it does not.”
I shrugged.
“It seems like you and Grace need a break though, so someone should babysit and give y’all a night off. Sure won’t be me, though.”
Ask me to raise a kid and all I’ll do is raise hell!
“We don’t need a break. Grace likes doing all the mom stuff.
I like doing dad stuff too, it’s not that bad. Do I look like I need a break?”
I glanced at him and laughed.
“Yeah, you have shit in your hair.”
That seemed to get his attention. He turned to me as if waiting for me to say I was just kidding, but I wasn’t—at least, I wasn’t kidding that the smell of shit was so strong it might as well have been in his hair.
“So, yeah, you need—”
“Hey,” Grace said from behind us.
She walked in the kitchen wiping at her eyes and went straight for Lauren. I loved cracking jokes at Matthew’s expense, but even I had to admit the job Grace was doing as a mother was far beyond anything I would have been able to handle.
“Hey, you enjoy your nap?” Matthew said, kissing her when she leaned closer to him. So romantic.
“I did. Until I was woken up.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
Sorry for two brothers just hanging out!
She grinned at me and then glanced at Matthew.
“You have shit in your hair again, babe.”
She laughed and then walked into the kitchen.
“Again?”
This is normal conversation for parents, huh? Definitely not going down this road. He rolled his eyes and walked off, hopefully to go wash his hair. Hopefully.
“Yow two seem to have this parenting thing down,” I said to Grace when she returned with a fresh bottle for Lauren and a smoothie for herself.
Like I said, I loved to give shit to Matthew, but Grace’s job as the mother was something that was beyond reproach.
“Mostly. It’s tiring. What are you doing here anyways?”
It wasn’t the most ridiculous question. I actually didn’t visit often. It was like my brothers had gone to a separate stage almost all at once, and I was just left behind to keep up the image as the partier amongst the Kinsmen.
“I’m between appointments. Occupying my time.”
“Glad to help,” she said with an exhausted giggle.
I had to admit, even though they said they’re tired and they both looked the part, they both also looked as happy as ever. Matthew had never been this happy. Matthew lucked out big time, that was for sure.
“Okay, I’m a clean man,” Matthew said as he walked back in. “I hope you aren’t staying for dinner.”
I laughed and stood. I had to get going anyway—I had some scheduled fun that did not involve babies or marriage or this so-called “adult” life.
“No, don’t worry. I have to get to the club. You know, that thing you used to show up to.”
I walked up to Matthew and squeezed his shoulder. It was tempting to crack a joke about him being the new Simon, but that felt a little too far even for me.
“I have to prioritize. And, hey, I come by sometimes. Have fun.”
I lovingly flipped him off and kissed Lauren on my way out the door.
I pulled up to the club, parking my bike in its designated spot on the side of the garage. One of the mechanics was in there working on a truck, one of the last ones before closing time on the shop. As for the club itself, it was half full, with music and glasses clinking over pool table filling the air.
“Z! What’s up, man.”
Jay, my long-standing friend at the club and the member I’m closest to besides my brothers—or, depending on my mood, more so than my brothers—came from around the bar to greet me. He was the only member I had an actual friendship with. Sometimes we joked that with him being tall, blonde, and tattooed, we might be secret twins. Some days, it wasn’t that much of a joke.
“Absolutely nothing and it’s great. What about you?” I said as I followed him back behind the bar.
“Same. Been here all day but I’m headed out. Some girl was looking for you.”
He smiled like he had been waiting to say that. It wasn’t something I was smiling it.
“Seriously?”
I always made it very clear with the women I took home—I didn’t do commitment, I probably wouldn’t call back, and no one should expect me to be nice if I saw them again in public. It was really simple, and I didn’t know why they acted like they forgot. I was honest to a fault, as my brothers liked to say, but what more could anyone ask for than honesty?
“Yeah. She was cute, but I let her down easy. I would have slid her my number but I don’t really want to have sex with you as an Eskimo brother.”
“Whatever man,” I said, disturbed by the rather unusual image his line produced. “Thanks for handling it.”
He laughed again, pointing to the jukebox.
“I didn’t. She’s over there.”
Goddamnit, Jay, you motherfucker.
“Wow, dick. Thanks, I owe you one. And I’m not going to forget this one!”
He took his cash from the drawer, still laughing at me before walking off. I tried to hide from her as I started cutting lemons for the night, but she noticed me soon enough. I couldn’t even pretend that there was anything else to distract me from talking to her, and it really didn’t help matters when she approached in that fast, stern walk women got when they needed to raise hell.
“Zeke,” she said in a very snappy tone.
She… damn, I really can’t even pretend that I remember her name. I did remember her streak blonde hair and rocking body she was always showing off. Right now, she was in a tube top and jeans, but unfortunately, that wasn’t helping me at all remember her name.
“Um, hey.”
She leaned over the bar, putting everything out there and trailing me with her eyes. I tried to ignore her heavily dolled up face as I cut another lemon.
“You don’t even remember my name, do you?”
Getting right to it, huh? I suppose that’s fair.
Then I guess I’ll be direct right back.
“Look, I try not to be an asshole, but it’s times like this where people think I am one. I told you I don’t do the whole call, text whatever thing.”
“Well I thought… never mind.”
She bit her lip and pulled back from the table. Normally, I would have just let it be and gone on with my day, but having just come from Matthew and Grace, my mind flashed to the absolute worst-case scenario.
“Wait, are you here to tell me you’re pregnant?”
She gaped at me in surprise.
“No! I came to foolishly try and be with you again even though you said it was…”
“One night. Yeah.”
I wiped my hands and leaned over the bar, sighing. If she wasn’t pregnant and she hadn’t gotten herself in a position where things could go to hell, there was nothing to worry about.
At least I was nice enough to remember her name now.
“Christina, you can do better than me.”
“Right. Bye, Zeke.”
I exhaled heavily and got back to work, finishing my prepping for the night. I stocked beer and cut oranges, wondering how this was my life, this was my everything. It had been since I was sixteen when Dad was still around. Maybe when I got older, I could force myself to get a real job… but there wasn’t much else I wanted to do. I was only good at about two things.
I was a really simple person in that regard. Though I had some weird moments of questioning and self-doubt like this, one the whole, I was honestly glad for it. I saw how my brothers’ lives got complicated by love and kids, and since I was far, far away from that, I didn’t really have to worry about it. I could just be happy serving, fucking, and sleeping.
The bar packed up soon enough, like it always did. Simon and Jaxson came by for a cameo before disappearing by the back-pool table, while their significant others, Rosella and Isabelle, had a girls’ conversation in the corner. It was a normal night, and as my shift came to an end, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
I was ready to go home before I saw her. From across the room, like some sort of teen movie, I saw her.
She had amazing legs, wrapped up in dark denim jeans. I could see a peak of her lower back, in her tight tee shirt stop
ping around her waist. She had her back to me, her long flowing red hair falling down her back in waves.
I stopped what I was doing and watched her. She was with two other girls whom I didn’t even notice them, not next to her.She turned to the side and smiled. If I could focus on her enough, I felt like I could hear her laugh. It was obvious she was here to have fun.
I’m sure I can help with that. I’d be honored and delighted to help with that.
“Al,” I said, getting the attention of one of the guys by the bar. I cracked open a beer and handed it to him. “Can you take this to the red head by the juke box?”
He chuckled but nodded, walking off to complete his duty. I watched the task I gave him play out, knowing it would go well. She took it, looking in my direction. I grinned, barely even having to try. It’s almost boring how easy it is.
But then, something completely unexpected happened.
She laughed and handed the bottle back, not even taking a sip.
2
Allison
I hope this is the last rest stop I use for the rest of my life. Those things are a crime to humanity.
But that wasn’t what road trips entailed. It was impossible to avoid them. I had wanted to take a flight to skip over all of us this, I really did.
But I had dumb and dumber friends who encouraged me to take a road trip to see the sights. That might have worked if we had gone from Chicago to Minnesota, but from Texas to Minnesota, it was not a fun drive.
Still, with our college years done and with the rare opportunity to travel and explore without consequences, it was ultimately something that I could not pass up. The three of us, myself, Marissa, and Jenna, had agreed to take this road trip and spend the summer here before Marissa started medical school. We came in with no plans other than for the three of us to have fun, have a good time, and go from there. It was ambitious for three women who had barely turned twenty-one, but it was an ambition we were all very willing and eager to take on. And so far, there were no regrets.
