by J. C. Allen
Marissa came down the stairs first, and I blurted out a question that had been in my head since, really, the moment Zeke had left, but one that was especially bad this morning.
“What was it like having that fuck buddy all junior year? What was his name?”
She laughed. I think she knew why I was asking; at least she wasn’t giving me too much grief about it.
“Yeah, Roger. He was relatively nice. Didn’t complicate my life. Sometimes you have an itch but don’t need to be hugged. Why?”.
“Just curious.”
Which is my way of saying “you know, but I don’t want to go into it.”
She sighed. I don’t think she liked that response very much.
“Jenna is still asleep so you can tell me without her crazy ideas.”
I shook my head, realizing someone talking so nicely wasn’t going to get denied the answers.
“It’s nothing. I was just thinking about um, about Zeke. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, but—”
“It was too good to pass up,” she said, finishing the words for me.
“Pretty much,” I said with a defeated laugh.
I was not even sure where I would find him again. That club, since he worked there, actually seemed like a really obvious and good idea. But the idea of going and proposing this kind of arrangement was kind of weird and desperate, and he probably had a new woman lined up for tonight.
Besides, no matter how much I tried to sugarcoat the feeling in the morning, there was little doubt that he had laid out in no uncertain terms the rules of engagement the previous night. And one of those rules was that that one night would be it; nothing more, nothing less.
“You should think about it. This is supposed to be a fun summer after all.”
I nodded, thinking over it for a second.
“Yeah, it is.”
I just hope Zeke agrees with that concept.
7
Zeke
It didn’t take me long to get back home.
Once I did, I reluctantly cleaned up the bedroom and stripped the sheets. As much as I wanted to smell her scent all night, it was just my normal routine, and I have learned from other dudes that it was just safe. That, and I really didn’t need to let myself get attached to some broad who was just going to pack up and keep driving out of town.
I threw them in the wash and put a fresh pair on, then I showered and climbed in bed.
And wouldn’t you fucking know it, I dreamed about Allison—fucking dreaming about her on my bike and coming home and fucking her all over again. It was a goddamn good dream, but it was a troubling dream, because I sure as hell had never dreamed of any woman before.
This isn’t good at all.
Despite the thoughts, though, I managed to make it to Sunday without calling or texting or communicating in any other fashion with Allison. I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t think about her, but I held true to my rule.
It was, though, perhaps noticeable that in the time after Allison and I had hooked up, I hadn’t slept with anyone else. And it wasn’t from a lack of opportunity—the scarcity of there only being one single Kinsmen in the group left made pussy so available to me that I got to pick and choose. Yet, something about that girl…
Probably just overthinking it. By tomorrow, you’ll be ready for some new broad.
I went to our planned family dinner. My brothers were all in good spirits with their women and their babies, which was, admittedly, annoying—I felt like the outcast, the judged one for not being with a woman yet. But then I saw my mother smiling and cooking, and all seemed well.
The kids were put down for naps and the women were outside drinking when the four of us had to start cleaning, as was our custom for these meals. It was Mom’s way of keeping us grounded and to give us a chance to talk to each other.
Today, though, it seemed like pick-on-Zeke day.
“What happened with that girl you left with last night?” Matthew asked.
Shit, here we go.
“What happened with the shit you had in your hair?”
Everyone laughed, even Matthew, though he threw in a middle finger for good measure—but only after he made sure Mom couldn’t see.
“I’ll answer that question when you answer mine,” Matthew said with a smirk.
I sipped my beer and shrugged it off as I wiped another plate.
“Same thing that always happens.”.
“Doesn’t that get tiring?” Jaxson asks, with his deep and annoying oldest brother voice.
It had a way of getting old. Things especially got old when they were so predictable you could call them out before they got said, and right now, that was exactly what was happening with Jaxson.
“No, not really. Does your wife asking you to have kids get tiring?”
I was pretty sure I lived to annoy my brothers; it seemed like a good way to go, especially if they were going to be so fucking patronizing to me because of my age.
“Actually, it’s the other way around. She’s finishing up her script and wants to put it off.”
“Hm. Okay then,” I said, stumped for a comeback to a responsible choice like that.
“Maybe this is the one that finally gets you to settle down,” Simon said from his place at the sink washing dishes.
I let out an exaggerated laugh, but none of the other brothers joined in.
“I don’t think so, you know my limits.”
“And that’s what? One night of sex? Sounds like you have bad dexterity.”
Matthew laughed at me. I threw a rag at him but ended up needing it back to dry the plates. It felt symbolic somehow, but I was too pissed off at the comment to think about it.
“Fuck off, it’s a lifestyle choice. Like how Mom doesn’t eat carbs.”
“Yeah those are two way too different things,” Jaxson said.
“Yeah but that’s how it is,” I said. “Allison was nice and all, but she’s from out of town anyway, so I won’t see her again even if I tried.”
They all went silent and I turned to frown at them.
“What? What made the cat get your tongues?”
“Nothing,” Simon said after a long silence. “Well, you never say their names. It’s always that one hot chick or the crazy chick. Allison is a real name, forgive me for saying I’m surprised.”
He wiggled his brow and I was quite inclined to throw my beer bottle at him; I probably would have if this wasn’t Mom’s house. In any case, that can’t possibly be true.
But then, I thought about it and realized that it was. I didn’t even bother remembering most girls’ names because I barely learned them in the first place. Meanwhile, I had Allison committed to memory. Shit, that really is out of the ordinary.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” I said, even though I knew full well it meant something.
“Well you should think about it,” Simon said.
“Look, I’m barely twenty-three, I don’t need to be dopey eyed and married before the summer ends. I have savings I don’t intend on giving away to some hitched marriage. I’m not you guys. I don’t need to get married tomorrow.”
I, of course, ignored the part where I was pretty sure that none of them had exactly been looking for love when they found their respective women.
My brothers, frankly, got lucky. That’s what I told myself every time they were doped up with love and happiness, new houses, and babies. I convinced myself that it didn’t just happen to anyone; after all, so far, it was only three of four, not nine hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand. Besides, I would get to be the one that lives the single life.
I am Zeke Kinsmen, damnit. I don’t date people. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. I know that people don’t like, it but that’s just how it is.
“You ever think about how you make the club look like a drive in?” Jaxson said.
It seemed so very presidential of him. I fucking hated when he did it to me. I was as involved in the club as him. I knew about all the sec
ret cartels threatening us and I get that he’s under pressure, but it had nothing to do with me, and I didn’t need to have even more pressure on me from my own family.
“I don’t,” I snapped. “Maybe you should worry about lying to Rosella about her crazy cartel family coming back.”
“Leave my fucking life alone,” Simon said, his voice rising. “I’ll leave yours alone.”
It was probably for the best that Mom came in shortly after, preventing them from further attacking me. Our fight would have just gotten ugly really fast.
“I hope you guys aren’t fighting,” she said, grabbing a bottle of wine from the cellar cabinet.
“I hope you all aren’t getting drunk, you know Isabelle can’t hold her liquor,” Jaxson said with a laugh.
She shook her head and smiled at us before leaving. It was just enough time that none of us had any interest in resuming our argument.
We put the dishes away and fulfilled our duties, including our to-go containers full of food to last at least two days. I was half inclined to not come next week because my brothers were going through their annoying phase of trying to control my life, but I thought of Mom and knew that I couldn’t just skip it.
But going home alone, for some fucking reason, hit harder tonight than others.
I could change the sheets and scent the couch, but it wouldn’t remove her from the house. Allison…
I smiled when I thought of her, even though I knew that I shouldn’t be.
It came and went the rest of the night. I remembered the conversations we had and how easy it was to talk to her. She wasn’t asking me as a club member or trying to get in on the danger, to live off a high or something. She just… wanted to know me, for a little while, and I wanted to know her too.
But I knew that I couldn’t. I knew myself, and that would just be unfair to her. Maybe in the short term, it would work, but eventually, one of us would get hurt—likely her.
If she only wanted sex, I could be good for that. But most women didn’t, and I couldn’t hope that she did too. It was too big of a gamble with her emotions.
If I ever saw her again, I’d ask. Fortunately, I knew I would never have to do that.
8
Allison
“We could go to the club again you know, accidentally run into him. And maybe I can score one of the extras.”
Marissa was absolutely crazy and had completely lost her mind. We had just finished breakfast and decided to go to the Mall of America today to see some of the sights. But apparently, that wasn’t the topic of the hour.
It had been a week, and I still thought of Zeke every damn day. I woke up each time and hoped it would get better, but he was in all my thoughts, even a full seven days later. I would see something that reminded me of him and be done for, even as we went on small day trips to explore the town. I just felt like I could run into him at any moment, and I found myself hoping for such an outcome.
But I was glad I actually hadn’t seen him. I didn’t have much resolve round him, clearly, so seeing him again wouldn’t do anyone any good. That was what I told myself, at least—it wasn’t a discussion I was very good at having with myself, let alone with Marissa or Jenna.
“That is not a good idea.”
It was not a good idea for many reasons, one of them being the obvious that if I couldn’t stop thinking about him now, what would happen if I actually did run into him?
I sipped my orange juice and watched Jenna laugh at us. She had been agreeing with Marissa, leaving me to wonder why they were so set on seeing me with this guy. He was a total stranger to me, minus the sex, and nothing like the men I used to date. Yes, the sex was great, but a man knowing how to use his tongue and his dick said nothing about his goals and ambitions in life.
“Why not? You had a great time with him last time,” Jenna said, trying to get serious.
“Yeah but that was the point, for one night,” I said emphatically. “We have the whole summer to fawn over men.”
“What,” Jenna said. “You want to sleep with a bunch of other men too? It’s always safer to have one pool to dip in. Always safer.”
I got what they were saying, but I was tired of gong in circles with this conversation topic. Sooner or later, it just needed to fucking end.
“I don’t need sex that often, Jenna,” I said as seriously as I could.
She just scoffed and sipped her smoothie from a straw loudly.
“Well, even if that is true, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. So, you never know if he feels the same way.”
That made me laugh aloud. Zeke was in no way afflicted by this at all. I heard his warning loud and clear. He probably had had five different women by now. He wouldn’t call me, he wouldn’t see me again, and that was that. I understood the rules of the game, and I was in no rush to experience them again.
“He doesn’t. Trust me.”
“Whatever,” Marissa said with an eye roll.
We finished cleaning up, and they went to get dressed. I remembered that our truck needed gas, and everything would just go faster if I got it while they got dressed. Since I already was, in a mini skirt and gray tee shirt, I grabbed the keys and rolled out.
I got lost on the way, but it wasn’t that hard to get back on route and get to the gas station and convenience store. If anything, I could kill two birds with one stone by getting liquor as well. When I arrived, I noticed that the area looked familiar, but I was only vaguely aware of my surroundings before. I didn’t think anything of it, but it seemed like the kind of place I had been to before.
I pumped my gas and then walked inside to find cheap liquor. I was bent over, looking at the bottom shelf of vodka, when I heard it. An unmistakable voice—one that I either desperately needed to hear or would regret hearing harder than anything else.
“I’d know those legs anywhere.”
I stood so fast I got woozy. The shelf in front of me got blurry. That deep, joyed voice like honey in the summer hit me like a train. I nearly dropped the glass bottle of liquor I was holding. I had to tell myself to turn around.
Please don’t be Zeke, please don’t be Zeke—
I turned and faced the tall, smiling, handsome man I knew way too well. Well, fuck. You got what you wished for. Just not what you wished for right now.
Zeke had his full grin on, his hair wind blown and eyes bright. His black tee shirt and jeans were tight to his form. His hands were in his pockets and drawing my attention to a well liked part of him. I realized I was standing there with my mouth hanging open and saying nothing, and I had to shake my head cartoon-style to get myself focused back in the moment.
“That’s a creepy thing to say to a stranger.”
I swallowed, realizing that my mouth had gone dry and my palms were sweating.
“Hm, you’re hardly a stranger.”
He smirked and stepped closer to me. I stepped back but only hit the wall. He still came close enough for me to smell, for all those memories to hit me like a train. It was a rush that was thrilling… dangerously thrilling
“I bet you probably don’t even remember my name. I’m just… I’m just one of your girls.”
I pushed back the sensations in my stomach before they could travel down between my legs and make me lose sense.
I just never thought I would see him again. I thought I would imagine and recall what he did to me that night every time I touched myself until I died… but now, he was actually standing in front of me, flirting out of his ass. And goddamnit, it was working really well.
“Really?”
He licked his lips and stepped closer until he was just a breath apart. I stayed put, but he continued forward until his lips, perfectly aligned with the top of my ear, touched my skin and gave me goosebumps.
“Why is that, Allison?”
Oh, fuck, he does remember my name. This is bad. I can’t… my body can’t say no…
We were in a very public place, albeit one without many people here to begin w
ith. But still.
I felt naughty. He made me want to have sex right where a security camera could see. So great was the charm and charisma of Zeke that I couldn’t handle it at all.
“Because… you’re you.”
“Nice,” he said, leaning back to look in my eyes. “What have you been doing? Looking for me?”
I felt pretty sure he knew exactly how much control he had over me and the situation at that moment. It was both frustrating as all hell to my rational mind and incredibly arousing in the moment.
“No.”
“Getting drunk then.”
He took the bottle from me but made sure to graze my fingers as he did. My body asked me why the hell I was not wrapped around him already. Because he’ll just fuck you and leave it at that.
But isn’t that all that you want?
“No. My friends drink too much.”
“So… you’re the responsible one,” he said with an arched eyebrow, as if testing me to confirm it.
“Pretty much.”
But to that, he just laughed and then stared intensely at me.
“I doubt that. You are very irresponsible.”
He placed the bottle behind me back on the shelf and then settled his hands on my hips, drawing me closer. We were getting dangerously close to doing something I never, ever would have done in any other spot, and it was dangerously arousing and fun.
“Why is that?”
I gasped when I felt his cock under his jeans, getting harder with each passing second. We had only been standing here talking, and he was already nearly at full strength; the man was just a different species of sex god.
“Because you’re about to get fucked in the back of a gas station.”
I gaped at him, my mouth dropping open in shock.
“I—I…”
“Don’t bother acting like you don’t want it. We both know the truth. There’s only one question. Back room or not?”
I wanted to ask how he knew there was a back room but refrained. He was right. So, so right. My legs were already shaking, my clit already throbbing.
