by E. M. Leya
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
I glanced up, staring at one twin standing at the sink, the other sitting at the table. They were identical, from the cut of their body to the style of their hair, it was impossible to tell them apart. Something told me it was Justice standing and Tavish at the table, but honestly, I couldn't be sure. "You two really are identical." I eased down onto a chair, my entire body sore. Sitting on the hard chair reminded me how much sex I'd been having, but instead of agony, the pain caused another course of arousal to rush through me.
"We are, but once you shift, you'll be able to tell us apart by our scent," the one sitting said.
"Tavish?" I asked as I stared at him.
He gave a slight nod. "Yes." A soft smile spread over his face. "See, you know me even without scent. That is encouraging."
Justice set a bottle of water on the table in front of me. "Are you hungry?"
I nodded as I reached for the water. "Starving, but I only want meat."
"I have meat for you, but also some fresh fruit you need to eat. You need the vitamins in your system." Justice went to the fridge.
"I don't think I can eat that right now." The thought of anything but meat caused my stomach to roll.
"You don't have a choice." Tavish stared hard at me. "You have to be strong enough for the shift. It's our job to make sure you survive the changes your body is going through."
"Just eat what you can. Every bit helps." Justice set a bowl of fresh-cut fruit in front of me.
The smell made me want to gag. "How much longer is this going to go on?"
"Could be hours, could be weeks. I talked to Kurt an hour ago. He said it's most likely to happen during sex. It's when your human side is putting up the least resistance and it's easier for your wolf to come forward." Justice turned to look at Tavish. "If that happens, you need to call me in. I know he's your mate, but I'm not sure that will be enough to control his wolf at first. The last thing we want is for his wolf to attack you in the confusion."
Tavish sighed.
"I could attack?"
"A newly turned wolf is capable of anything. Your wolf's instinct is going to be to run, hunt, fuck, eat, and sleep. It will do anything it can to make those things happen. If we weren't here to help you control your wolf, you'd run into the forest and hunt, and never look back. You'd lose your human side to your wolf quickly." Tavish reached over and stole a piece of strawberry from the bowl in front of me. "Justice will have the power to keep your wolf from taking over. As your mate, I might have some pull, but not much since we need to do the mating ceremony for a true connection to happen. The moment you shift, I'm going to have to make sure Justice is with us."
"He won't watch us have sex, will he?" I was already ashamed of how I was begging for Tavish to take me and how crazy I'd been during sex. While it was happening, I hadn't been in my right mind to care, but now, after it was over, I remembered everything. I hated how slutty I'd seemed during it all.
"No, we won't be having sex in front of my brother." Tavish's voice was deeper and held a hint of danger. "The moment you shift, everything stops and we focus on keeping your wolf in control. We'll make sure we let your wolf get comfortable with both of ours, then we are going to force you to shift back to your human form for a bit. This will go on for weeks until you get a good grasp on how to control him yourself."
Justice put a raw steak down in front of me. "Each day will get easier."
I picked up the steak, my mouth watering. "You'll be here the whole time? You don't have to go back on tour?" I asked Tavish.
"I'll be here, even if it means postponing things. I've got time off, so you should be in control before I have to leave. I hope we've worked everything out between us before I have to go again and you might come with me, but it's too soon to decide all that." Tavish smiled.
I nodded, then tore into my steak, taking large bites and savoring the blood against my tongue. No one spoke as I ate, and I wondered what they were thinking of me as they watched the blood drip down my chin. I was a mess, but hunger gripped me so badly that I didn't care that I wasn't showing any table manners. When I finished one, I glanced at Justice. "Can I have another?"
"After you eat a bit of your fruit." He pulled another steak from the fridge and set it on the counter where I could see it.
The thought of fruit did nothing for me, but I forced myself to grab a blueberry and pop it into my mouth. It wasn't what I wanted, but it didn't make me gag the way I thought it would. I forced myself to eat several more pieces, but the whole time, I was eyeing the steak.
"How're your headaches?" Tavish asked.
"Still there, but not like they were. I couldn't even think straight before. Between the odd dreams and the headaches, I swore I was going to die." I downed half the bottle of water.
"I'll grab you a few more pills when you're done eating. Hopefully, we can keep the headache from getting worse. The only thing we can't control is your arousal, but with Tavish here, I think that can be controlled to a point." Justice grinned at his brother.
"You're just jealous. You thought you'd finally get laid for once this year." Tavish smirked.
Justice flipped his brother off. "I've gotten laid more than you know. It's not my fault you're on the road and not here to keep tabs on my sex life."
I listened as the brothers bickered back and forth, but I was more interested in the steak that Justice had finally set in front of me. I ate as if I hadn't already had one. I was starving and wondered if this need for bloody meat would be the new normal for me. I couldn't imagine not having meat. It was all I wanted.
As I ate, my cock stirred again, hardening to the point of pain. I fought to ignore it, not wanting sex again so soon, but I was sure it was only a matter of time before I was forced to face it. Tavish eyed me as if he knew how aroused I was. He could probably smell it, not that the fucking hard-on I had was easy to hide.
Justice sat down with us, snagging fruit from my bowl. "So, did Tavish explain why he was the one who stayed with you and not me? I don't want you pissed off that I left you with him."
I nodded, unable to speak for a moment because of the mouthful of meat I was chewing. Once I swallowed, I turned to look at him. "I understand why. I'm not mad. Honestly, you two look so alike, I might have never known if he hadn't told me. I'm glad he admitted the truth, but I admit it was a bit uncomfortable knowing my first meeting with him was fucking."
"You weren't in any state of mind to be introduced at the time. I'm just glad he walked in when he did. If we'd started having sex when he got there, he might have tried to kill me for touching you." Justice glanced at his twin.
"Probably." Tavish shrugged.
"It's that harsh? This mating thing is so intense, you'd kill your own twin over it?" I couldn't understand that. It sounded obsessive to me. The kind of thing that abusive relationships were made of.
"It's possible. It would all depend on the kind of control I have over my wolf. If he got his way, no other wolf would be around my mate ever, but I have control of him. I'm rational enough to find out facts before killing anyone. You'll understand the feelings better once you go through the change. It's a wolf thing." Tavish smiled.
"It's not a bad thing in many ways," Justice continued. "Abuse is very uncommon between mates. It's just not possible for a mate to hurt another. Your mate's safety and welfare are more important than your own. You'll put yourself in danger to protect your mate."
"Why don't I feel any of that now?" I licked the blood from my fingers before reaching for my drink.
"You don't like me?" Tavish asked. He didn't seem hurt by the news, just curious.
How was I supposed to answer that? "Um, you're good looking, but honestly, when I see you the only pull I feel right now is sexual. I remember the pleasure you can give me." My cheeks heated at admitting that.
A slow smile spread over Tavish's face. "And to think we haven't even had a chance to explore each other yet."
I swallowed
hard.
Justice laughed. "He was a virgin, remember. He doesn't know there is a difference."
Tavish's gaze heated as he stared at me. "There is a huge difference. When that raw sexual need is tamed and I'm able to lick and taste every inch of your body, things will be even better. When we can take our time and take hours to build up the pleasure between us, then you'll really know how good sex can be."
My cock ached at his words, though I honestly didn't think anything could be better than it already was. Having another person bring me to orgasm was a million times better than anything I could do by myself. I hated how badly I wanted him again. It was as if my body couldn't get enough sex. I really hoped they were right and this would ease once the change happened. I couldn't survive if this sexual desire that was consuming didn't stop.
"Eat more fruit." Justice nodded at the bowl still in front of me.
I eyed the fruit with disdain.
"You've got to keep your energy up. You've still got a long way to go before you shift. You need to keep your strength up. You're already losing weight and you didn't have much extra on you to begin with."
I forced myself to eat more of the fruit, but it tasted sour against my tongue. I wanted more raw meat, but after two steaks, I doubted they'd give me any more until tonight. If the next few days or weeks was going to be like this, I was going to lose my mind. I was restless, scared, and confused, and the odd cravings, the sexual desire, and horrible dreams were going to drive me insane.
"I need to run into town for a while. You two need anything?" Justice asked.
"What if I shift while you're gone? You said you had to be here."
"I do, but you're not that close yet. If I'm wrong and something happens, Tavish will call me. He'll handle things until I can rush back," Justice assured me.
I glanced at Tavish nervously.
"You'll be okay. I'm hoping you can sleep a bit and relax before you want sex again. I know you're aroused now, but I'm not smelling the need you had before."
I nodded. "It's like I'm always hard, but I'm not in pain yet."
"Good." Tavish seemed to honestly care whether I was suffering or not. He turned his attention to Justice. "Grab me some of that beer I like, and get a couple of pounds of those chicken strips I like from the deli."
Justice nodded, then glanced at me. "You want anything?"
"More meat?" It was all I was craving.
"Got plenty of that. There's elk and deer meat in the freezer and several steaks thawed in the fridge. We've got you covered," Justice promised as he stood.
"Thanks." I watched and listened as the twins discussed a few other things, but now that I was full, I was starting to get tired. Once Justice left, I glanced at Tavish. "I think I'm going to go try and sleep a bit. You'll be close if I wake up freaking out, right?"
Tavish stood and came to stand behind me. He braced his hands on my shoulders before he bent and kissed my forehead. "I won't leave the house. I can hear you if you call for me, and I'll smell your need when it starts to get stronger again. I promise I'll take care of you. I can stay with you if you want."
"No, I'm okay. Just tired, but I hate sleeping because of the strange dreams."
"They'll ease in time." He stepped back and let me stand. "I'll get you through this, Mark, I promise. You're almost there. Just a while longer, then it will all make sense and be easier on you. Being a wolf isn't something you should fear."
No matter how many times they told me that, I still couldn't stop worrying. This whole thing was confusing and scary. "Thanks." I blushed as I realized he could see how hard I was as I stood in front of him.
"Don't be shy with me. We're mates. In time, we'll have no secrets between us." He pulled me into a hug. "We'll get through this, okay?"
Having his arms around me felt right. I loved the warmth of his body against my own, but I forced myself to let go, scared of the desire growing. "Okay."
"Go sleep. I won't be far." He brushed his lips against mine before quickly taking a step back. "I'm going to go unpack my things and check in with my manager. Call for me if you need me."
I nodded before turning and heading up the stairs. So much was happening, and with my mind in such a confusing fog, I was having trouble processing it all. I hoped they were right and this would all make sense once I shifted, but I feared that it was only going to make things worse. I wasn't strong, not physically or mentally, and fighting my wolf for control wasn't going to be easy. As much as it scared me, I wondered if my life would be easier letting my wolf take over once I shifted. Living in the forest couldn't be such a bad thing, could it? Hunt and sleep my life away. It was better than what I'd faced so far as a human.
Too tired to worry about it all for now, I fell onto the bed and closed my eyes, taking advantage of the quiet that settled around me, though it wouldn't last. The dreams would come and all this hell would start over again.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Tavish
"I can't get away for a while, Will. I've got some shit going on at home that's going to keep me here at least a few weeks, maybe longer. Have Jackson or someone do the interviews." I leaned back in my chair as I talked to my manager. There was no way I could fly to California to do any promotional interviews. Leaving Mark wasn't an option.
"It's just a few days," Will argued.
"Listen, I don't want this made public yet, but I've found my mate. I've got to stay here and work through some shit before I can do anything." I was thankful that Will was part of the pack and would hopefully understand that this was more important than anything to do with the band.
"Seriously? Wow, congratulations, Tav. That's fantastic news." Will sounded genuinely happy for me. "Bring her with. It won't be a problem. We don't have to introduce her to the public as your girlfriend yet."
"It's a he," I told him. "And it's not that simple. Have you been to the pack house yet since we got back?"
"No, I planned on going over there tonight to hang out. Why?"
Will and the band were all members of the Terrin Pass Pack, which would help make this easier for me since they could verify everything going on with Kurt.
"I guess some shit went down while we were gone. I'm not going into all that since I honestly don't know the whole story yet, but it ended up that Justice bit a human and that human is here at the house, waiting to go through the change. He's my mate, Will. He's the one. Anyway, until he shifts and gets a grasp on being a wolf, I can't leave him."
"What the hell? Justice bit a human?" Will's voice was filled with outrage.
"It was all approved beforehand. Whatever happened left Kurt with no choice, and I guess Justice was picked to be the one to bite him. As I said, I don't have all the facts yet. I got home and scented my mate and walked into a clusterfuck of shit going on. I'm still trying to work it all out myself. The fact remains, I can't fly out for interviews. Until all this settles here, I'm not leaving the house. I need to be here for my mate."
Silence filled the line for a moment before Will finally said, "Well shit. I guess you're right. Your mate comes first. We'll need to talk later and figure out how you want to spin this for the public once things calm down. Obviously, with your mate by your side, fans are going to want answers. Do the others know?"
I thought about the rest of the band and tried to imagine each one's reaction. "No, I haven't talked to anyone yet. I'll tell them when I'm ready. As I said, only you know and I'd like to keep it that way. Kurt probably knows because he's our alpha, but I'm not even sure on that. I'd like to keep it quiet until Mark shifts and gets used to it himself."
"How long before he shifts?" Will asked.
"I don't know. Not too long. He's close. Maybe a week or two." I'd been home four days, and each day I could sense Mark's wolf stronger. Each time we had sex, I wondered if it would be enough to force the shift to happen, but so far, things remained the same. Mark slept, ate, and we had sex several times a day.
"Okay, I'll call Jackson and see if he's
willing to do the interviews. I'll keep my mouth shut about everything until you're ready to let the band know, but I suggest doing it soon. You're supposed to be working on songs for the next album."
"I'm still working." Which was true, but my mind wasn't really focused on writing at the moment. "I plan on calling the guys over for a meeting in the next couple of days and telling them everything. I'm sure several of them have been to the pack house and already heard about Justice biting someone. I'll just have to fill them in about him being my mate."
"I'm jealous. Finding your mate is huge," Will said.
"It's unbelievable. More than I ever dreamed it could be." I closed my eyes, trying to imagine how much stronger it would feel once Mark shifted. "Anyway, thanks for not telling anyone. I'll keep you updated. Once he shifts and gets control of his wolf, we can make more plans, but until then, I've got to remain at home."
"I get it. Don't like it, but I do understand." Will sighed. "Let me call Jackson and see what he says. I'll be in touch."
"Thanks." I disconnected the call and tossed my phone on the desk. I'd known that I'd have to let the band know what was going on sooner or later, but I'd hoped to have Mark through the change before I had to tell anyone.
In the few days I'd been home, Mark had progressed quickly. His hunger was constant, both for food and sex. I was actually sore from all the fucking, but that was something I would never complain about. I loved making love to him. Being inside him was the most amazing feeling. I'd fucked hundreds of men and women in my life, but not a single one compared to what it was like when I sank deep inside Mark. I loved him. Not that I could tell him that. He'd think I was crazy for loving someone I hardly knew, but with the mating bond between us, love was natural. It was impossible not to love him. I couldn't wait to perform the mating ceremony with him once he was ready.
