by E. M. Leya
"Bears?" My eyes went wide. "There are other kinds?"
"Of course. We aren't the only ones. There are as many shifter types as there are animals. You'll come across different ones depending on where we are. If you go to Florida, you'll get a lot of marine life shifters, seal, whales, sharks. Most choose to live in a place that makes it easy for them. Here in Montana, you have the most common mammals. Wolves and bears are the largest populations, but there are moose, coyotes, deer, and several others."
I sat back. "So that deer we killed the other day could have been—"
"No. You would have been able to smell the difference or at least you will be able to tell it in time. Justice and I would have known. We don't hunt other shifters. You don't have to worry about that happening."
I was relieved. "I never imagined there were so many."
"Humans still outnumber us by the thousands, but there is always a shifter of one sort or another around." Tavish nodded to two men playing chess at a picnic table not far from us. "Eagles." Then he gestured to a man jogging down the path. "Beaver."
I shook my head. "Wow."
"It will take time to get used to the smells and figure out which belongs to what group, but you're doing good so far."
"My wolf wants to chase everything."
"So does mine. I'm not sure that urge ever fades, but you've done well controlling it. Is it easier to communicate with your wolf?"
"Yeah, but he's restless."
"We'll shift tonight and spend the whole night in wolf form together. That will help." Tavish gave my thigh a squeeze. "I need to talk to you about the band. The guys will be here in a few days, and they will expect me to be ready to travel soon. I don't want to leave you, but I can't put band stuff off for too long. I'd like you to really start considering coming with me when the time comes."
"Won't I distract you?"
"I think not having you close will be more distracting."
"What will I do while you're busy?"
"The only time we have to really be apart is when I'm on stage. You can go to the studio with me, travel with me, spend most interviews close by."
I bit my lip. I loved the idea of going on tour with Tavish. Not only because he was so important to me, but the thought of touring with a popular band was also exciting, still, I wasn't sure about everything that was happening. I was still nervous about this insta-love stuff, and I was also worried about taking advantage of Tavish. I didn't want him paying my way for everything. I needed to make my own money, make my own way in the world. Rich or not, I didn't want Tavish taking care of me. I'd been willing to allow it while I adjusted, but hoped once Justice agreed I was ready, I could go find a job in town and work.
"You don't want to go with me?" The scent of Tavish's sadness filled my nose.
"It's not that I don't want to be with you. It's more that I don't want you taking care of me. I need to make my own life, have my own job, my own money."
"I know you don't see it this way, but as my mate, all I have is yours too. You have money. More than you ever imagined. I'll put you on all the accounts today if you want."
It was tempting, but that wasn't what I wanted. "It's not that. I've fought so hard to get away from my past and make my own life. I need to have something to do, something to claim as my own. I don't want to just be the guy who hangs on your arm. I need something more. Not that I don't enjoy hanging on your arm." I grinned at him, hoping he'd understand.
"So that's a no? You won't go with me?"
"It's an I don't know yet."
Tavish didn't respond. He just stared out over the small lake.
"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you wanted things to be with your mate, but I need to do what is right for me too."
"I know you do. I just hate being away from you. I was just hoping that we could get to know each other while on the road. I want to date you, help you fall in love with me, show you how right we are together, but I can't do that when we are so many miles apart. I don't know what to do. I always thought I'd meet my mate and it would be easy, but this is anything but easy. I figured the only way to show you how good we are together would be to think in your human terms, that means dating and getting you to fall for me."
I was flattered he wanted to try. That this meant so much to him he was thinking of ways to convince me to make it work. I wanted more than anything to act on what I was feeling for him, but it was all so overwhelming. No matter how I tried to work through it, I couldn't understand loving someone I still hardly knew. Then again, if he left town without me, I'd never have a chance to get to know him. "Give me time to think about it, okay? Right now, it's a maybe. I'm not even sure Justice will allow me to work any time soon. We have a week or more, right?"
"A little over a week. The band will be heading to California to record, then we could come home for a week or so before we head back out on tour. I have all the dates written down at home."
"If I go with you, won't that be an issue for your fans?" I'd looked him up online and found he was one of the most sought-after bachelors in America.
"My fans quit mattering the day I met you. If you go with me, we'll introduce you as my boyfriend. I won't hide the fact that we're together and things are serious. Once we perform the mating ceremony, we'll hold a human wedding soon after so that my fans know you are my husband. I hate human customs, but in this case, I think it's better to make sure we make everything public so there are no questions." He took my hand. "Even if you don't go with me, I'm announcing I've met someone and am no longer single. I won't act like what we have doesn't matter. I want the world to know I belong to you. I don't want anyone wondering."
"And your fans? Those meet and greets? All the parties after your concerts?" I'd seen photos of him with fans, some were far from innocent.
"I'll still have to meet with fans and show up at some of the parties, but that's one reason I want you with me when I do. I want it clear to everyone that I'm off the market. If you stay here, you'll have nothing to worry about with my fans. I couldn't cheat on you if I wanted to, which I don't. I couldn't get hard for anyone else. I mean it when I say you are it for me."
I nodded. "If I stay here, I want you to know I can promise the same thing. I won't be with anyone else unless I end things with us first." Just saying the words caused an ache inside me. I couldn't imagine not being with him. That was what scared me. I'd known him weeks and yet here I was dreading being apart. It was crazy.
"Thank you for that." Tavish kissed my cheek. "Are you okay with me talking about us to the press? Giving your name so that people know I'm not just making shit up?"
"Will the press bother me?"
"No. If you're with me, I'll make sure they back off, and if you stay here, Justice and Kurt will keep them from bothering you."
"All the other band members are wolf? We wouldn't have to hide that from them?"
"The band and my manager are wolves, but we have to be careful. On tour, the roadies, the bus driver, the security, most of them are human. There are a few other shifters who work the shows, but not many."
"Doesn't your wolf get restless on tour?" The thought of being cooped up all the time left my wolf restless and nervous.
"We make sure we take time to run. The band takes a night every couple of weeks to run. We find somewhere safe, close to where we are or we contact other packs in the area so we will have a safe place to shift and let our wolves free." Tavish smiled. "We take care of our wolves' needs. To ignore them would be dangerous. There are times we have to hold our wolves in and it's not always easy. It's one of the reasons I'm telling you all the time to get to know your wolf. Have an understanding and trust between you. That trust will keep you both safe. It takes time to build it, but once you do, there is nothing you and your wolf can't overcome together."
The thought of touring was so overwhelming, and even though I didn't want to admit it out loud, I wasn't sure I could control my wolf yet. There were moments when he was so close to the surfac
e that I struggled to hold him back. It wouldn't take much to lose control of him. If that happened in public, they'd kill me for sure. It wouldn't matter that I was Tavish's mate or that they'd been the ones to force me to become wolf.
"You're scared." Tavish brushed his lips against my ear. "Why?"
"Because I'm still not sure that I have control of my wolf. I'm scared that if I go with you, I won't be able to keep my wolf back. Yet, I want to be with you. I don't know that I'd be okay alone here," I told him honestly.
"You wouldn't be alone. Justice is here. The whole pack is here for you."
"They aren't you," I whispered.
Tavish smiled. "I have more faith in you than you do yourself. I think you have better control over your wolf than you think. I get it's scary. This isn't something you have to decide today. There is time. A lot can happen over the next week or two. Look at us now. Just a few days ago you didn't want to have anything to do with me." He gave my hand a squeeze. "Just think about it for now."
I nodded.
"You've done okay today, right?"
I laughed. "My wolf has wanted to chase every bird it sees. He's right there at the edge of my mind, watching everything."
"Yet he hasn't come forward. Your wolf knows that he can't. He doesn't want to die. He might have urges, but he knows that if he doesn't resist them, you both suffer. At the house, in the forest, he can push harder, but in public, it's as if there is an understanding that he has to stay back. It's basic survival."
I hoped that was true. It made sense, but there were moments that I half expected to look down at my hands and find myself half shifted because he was so close to coming out. "I'm just nervous."
"That's expected. You've been through a lot in the last few months. This takes time to adjust to."
"I'm glad you've been here for it." I tried to imagine what it would be like if Tavish hadn't shown up. I'd have had sex with Justice. He would be the one to talk to me about all this, and I was sure he wouldn't be as gentle and understanding as Tavish was being. Justice wasn't mean, but he held a power over me that was intimidating. I hated anyone having power over me. It was the one thing I feared most about mating Tavish. If that gave Tavish power, I didn't want anything to do with it.
"Me too. I can't imagine not being here to see you through this. I'm just glad I came home when I did."
"You and me both. Five minutes later and…" I shook my head, not wanting to think about what would have happened if Tavish came home to Justice fucking me.
"Anyway, think about going with me. It will be good for both of us. I need you with me and getting away will be good for you. You're strong enough now to keep control of your wolf. We'll make it work. If you hate everything I have going on, you can go back to stay with Justice until I get home and we can figure something else out or you can stay at the pack house if you want to avoid Justice." Tavish smiled. "I'm hoping you'll come with me and love it."
I had a lot to think about. So much was happening so fast. "I'll think about it and let you know."
"Good." Tavish kissed me softly. "Let's head home. We can shift and go run the forest before letting our wolves spend the night together."
My wolf liked that idea. I nodded. "Thanks, Tav."
"For what?"
"Understanding." I stood with him. "You've made this easier."
Taking my hand as we walked toward the car, Tavish shook his head. "Once you started to accept the changes, you did all this on your own. You're my mate. I'll always be here and try to understand. It's what mates do."
I gave a small nod, trying not to think about everything that was still going on. The mating, the travel, controlling the urges. I was far from accepting. I was scared. All I could do was take it hour by hour and hope my wolf stayed under control.
As we got in the car to go home, I was glad that I would be able to let my wolf out soon and just relax. Being in human form was hard. I needed to stop thinking for a while, and once in wolf form, I could do just that.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Tavish
I sensed Mark's nervousness as we waited for Jackson to show up. I was excited to see my bandmates, but Mark's tension was strong and the scent of his fear was almost all I could focus on. I wondered if he was this nervous about meeting new people before he became a wolf. "You're going to love Jackson. He's been my best friend for as far back as I can remember."
"He might not like me. Might hate that you have a mate now." Mark leaned against the railing that led up to the front porch.
"Wolves aren't like that. He's excited I found my mate. He's going to love you. There won't be any jealousy or anger. Wolves wait forever for a mate. When one of us finds our mate, there is only celebrating. The only jealousy is going to be that Jackson hasn't found his mate yet." I turned as a truck pulled up the long driveway. I could hear it before I saw it. "He's here. Give him a chance, okay? He's really looking forward to meeting you."
Mark took a deep breath. "I'm just nervous."
There was nothing I could do about that. It was something Mark had to work through on his own. Only time would ease his mind. As the truck came to a stop, I pushed away from the steps and walked to meet Jackson as he slid from the driver's seat. "Hey, you made it." I gave him a quick hug.
Jackson grinned as he pulled back, brushing his dark, long hair back from his shoulders. "Your scent changed." His nostrils flared as he inhaled. "I can smell your mate on you, but there's also something different in your scent. I never noticed that with mates before, but then again, I've never known anyone I hang around with a lot to find a mate." Jackson glanced toward the porch. "Congratulations, Tav."
"Thanks. Come meet him." I led Jackson to where Mark still leaned against the railing. "Mark, this is Jackson."
Mark stepped forward, accepting my arm around his waist as I settled beside him. "Nice to meet you." He offered his hand.
"Not good enough. You're my best friend's mate. Give me a hug, man." Jackson pulled Mark from my side and embraced him. "I'm glad to meet you. You give me hope that there might be someone out there for me. I'm so happy for you two." He released Mark, then stepped back. "You're strong. That's good. Tavish needs someone who can keep him in line."
Mark frowned. "Strong?"
I smiled. "I told you your wolf was strong. Remember how I explained every wolf has a place in the pack. You're not as strong as an alpha, but you're not weak by any means. Focus on Jackson. You'll feel his power, just like you feel mine or Justice's. Can you tell if he's stronger or weaker than us?"
Mark stared at Jackson, and I could sense his wolf alert and paying full attention to Jackson.
"He's not as strong as you." Mark blushed. "Sorry." He took a step back as if fearing that what he said would upset one of us.
"No, you're right. I'm not very strong. In fact, I'm one of the weaker wolves in the pack. I'm okay with that. We all have our place. If I belonged to a pack where ranking mattered, it might suck, but in our pack, we are all equals unless pack business calls on us to bring strength into play." Jackson smiled. "It must be hard learning all this. I've never been around a newly turned wolf before. I'm used to wolves being raised to understand all of this."
"Jackson!" Justice's voice echoed over the yard as he jumped down from where he was working on building the recording studio. "About time you showed up." Justice hitched his tool belt up as he strode across the yard to pull Jackson into a quick hug.
"I would have come here first, but I had to stop off at home and make sure Mom and Dad were okay." Jackson grinned.
"You know I watch over them while you're away." Justice wiped his hand over his sweaty brow.
"I know, and I appreciate it, but Mom would have killed me if she heard I was back and hadn't dropped in there first. She said to make sure the three of you drop by for dinner one night. She wants to meet Mark. Dad saw him at the pack house the other day, but Mom hasn't seen him yet."
"We needed to get him stronger first. Make sure his wolf wasn't goin
g to fight for control. Tell her we'll be in touch and stop by." I brushed a kiss over Mark's cheek. "Hopefully, before we leave town, but if not, as soon as we get back."
"So you've decided to come with us?" Jackson asked Mark.
"I think so," Mark said softly.
This was the first I'd heard that he'd decided. When we'd last discussed it, which had been at breakfast, he was still hesitant. I wasn't sure what changed, but I was glad it had. I pulled Mark into a hug. "You will?" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah, I will." Mark smiled. "I don't want to be away from you."
Justice laughed. "Instinct kicked in. Your wolf realized that his mate would be far away, around a bunch of other wolves, and couldn't handle it."
Mark blushed.
"Was that it? Is that why?" I glanced at Mark.
"I guess. It was strange. The moment I met Jackson I was sure I was going to go with you. It was as if I didn't have a choice. I had to be with you. It doesn't make sense because I'm not jealous of Jackson at all. If you were going to be with him, you would have been years ago, but it was like my wolf suddenly wanted to throw you down and bite you." Mark shrugged.
That news made me happy. "That's the mating call. Until we do the mating ceremony, you'll probably feel that way a lot. Until we seal the deal, your wolf isn't going to feel secure and will want to stake his claim on me."
Mark frowned.
I let the frown go without comment. Now wasn't the time. I turned back to Jackson. "Come inside. I'm excited to show you what I've been working on. We'll grab a few beers and we'll see if you like my new stuff."
"Let me grab my guitar." Jackson turned back to the truck.
"You okay?" I glanced at Mark.
"Yeah, just don't like feeling so needy." Mark sighed.
"Then get that mating ceremony over," Justice told him. "It's the only way that feeling will ease." He slapped Mark on the shoulder. "I'm going to finish what I'm working on, then I'll start dinner."
