JOHNNY
These little heart-to-hearts that Hannah and Sunshine were having in between recordings was driving Johnny mad.
But he also recognized the bright moments of beauty in them. Which was why he recorded all of it.
Maybe Sunshine would want to add them in between tracks or on a bonus release.
Either way, Johnny felt in his gut that both of those people had gems to share and had no idea.
Taking a small break, Johnny went to the supply closet to get a couple fresh mics. He wasn’t happy with the way the one they’d been using sounded on playback.
When he came back to the control room, Hannah was sitting on one of the couches, knitting.
He nearly stumbled.
Sunshine entered right behind him, coming back from the bathroom.
“Knitting?” Sunshine asked.
“Maybe,” Hannah replied with a snort. She held up her needles and the yarn. It didn’t look like anything.
“Whatcha makin’?”
“A hat?”
Sunshine barked a laugh. “You don’t sound so confident.”
She sighed and dropped the knitting in her lap. “I’m having difficulties.”
“Then why do it?”
Hannah’s eyes bounced to Johnny’s, and he looked away but kept his ears tuned to her answer.
“Two-fisting Cabernet and a long drive in a Cadillac isn’t an option. My sponsor suggested knitting. Music happens to be a fairly huge emotional trigger for me still.” She rolled her eyes. “Go figure. Music? Trigger emotions? What?” She tried to laugh it off.
But no one else laughed.
Sunshine studied her silently for a beat. “Can I have the hat when it’s done?”
She glanced up with a frown. “Seriously?”
He nodded with a smirk. “Oh, hell yeah.”
Did Sunshine know who she was? Johnny was tempted to ask. But if Sunshine didn’t know, that would at least alert him to the fact that she was someone.
“We’re ready,” Johnny announced.
Sunshine stood and headed into the isolation room.
It was time for his vocals.
Which Johnny was thankful for, because if he had to hear any more about Hannah being a different and better person, he was going to scream.
Except that deep in his chest was a craving to know more. His mind was flooded with questions. His desire to know more needed to be squelched.
“I like his face tattoos,” she said.
Johnny closed his eyes, not realizing she had brought a chair over and was sitting by his side, close enough to touch. His ears flamed hot, but he reminded himself that she hadn’t heard his previous thoughts. Those were still private.
“I’ve never understood face tattoos,” he mumbled, switching the intercom switch. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He flipped the track and the beat started.
I miss you,
I wish you the best, though,
Despite good advice, I have tried to come home,
Suffice to say it didn’t work, though,
I’m not good with solo
With me and control
You’re better off alone
For real, I am reeling,
I’m feeling I’m broken
My soul is contorted
I can’t be restored, though
I hope this recording
Finds you emotionally supported
It seems I have witnessed
The disappearance of my best friend but
I hope that your halo on your head
Is forever protected
’Cuz I would have wrecked it.
“Perfect,” Johnny declared.
“What if you add this,” Hannah murmured at his shoulder. She clicked and flipped and switched the board like she’d done it a hundred times.
A piano riff she had been playing with earlier came through the speaker, added to the beat.
Johnny heard what she was doing and made a few changes, morphing the sound.
Sunshine grooved in the booth, and on instinct, Johnny flipped the record switch.
Sunshine sang/rapped once more, this time with more emotion in his voice.
“Damn, he’s glorious,” Hannah whispered.
Johnny cast a glance her way. She sat with one leg crossed over the other, leaning forward with her elbow on her knee and her chin on her fist. Completely absorbed in the magic happening in the booth.
“How was that?” Sunshine asked after.
“Even better,” Johnny replied, like he didn’t believe it himself.
“That’s fuckin’ tight,” Sunshine agreed. “Let’s do the next verse.”
Johnny made the changes quickly and nodded in Hannah’s direction. “You wanna?”
“Yeah, I got it,” she said, already moving.
She had to lean into his space just slightly, and her side pressed against his arm for the briefest of seconds.
Johnny flinched.
“Sorry, my dude,” she apologized, sounding sincere but also amused. “Okay, ready.”
Johnny ran everything together and hit play.
Sunshine grinned and bopped along in the booth.
Johnny hit record.
HANNAH
“Are you okay?”
Hannah glanced up from the grocery list she was making and smiled at Piper. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“Are you sure?” Piper asked, frowning slowly. “You’ve been staring at the wall for ten minutes.”
That wasn’t surprising to hear.
She’d been thinking about the day’s events and how fun it had been.
And now she was just enjoying the peaceful feeling of her creativity having been stroked.
Hannah lifted a shoulder. “Just thoughtful is all.”
“About today?”
Hannah narrowed her eyes at Piper. She was too insightful for a twelve-year-old.
“Yes, about today.”
Piper pulled a chair out and sat down. She folded her hands together on the tabletop, like the tiny adult she was.
Little alarm bells went off in Hannah’s mind as she observed the strong tilt to Piper’s jaw, the determined glint in her eye, and the vague flicker of fear.
It was still too easy for Piper to assume the role of counselor or adult in any given situation. It was too heavy a burden to bear for one so young.
Hannah wondered if Piper would ever lean out of that role. A pang slid through her heart at the thought of Piper never being liberated from that.
The best way to silence Piper’s fears were to address them honestly.
Hannah sat back in her chair.
“It’s been interesting being back in the studio. It’s given me a lot to think about.”
Piper licked her lips and squared her shoulders.
“Do you miss it?”
And that right there told Hannah that no matter how messed up they had started, or how many times she still got things wrong, they were on the right path together. Because Piper could ask the real question. The one that was at the heart of her. Without fear of reprimand.
“No.” Hannah shook her head. “I don’t miss it.”
Piper’s determination wavered with the unexpected response. “Are—isn’t it fun?”
“Yeah, it’s fun.” Hannah smiled sadly. “I will always love writing and creating music. But that doesn’t translate to missing what I had. The fame, the schedule, the heartbreak? No, I don’t miss that.”
Piper’s eyes shined with held back emotion and she looked away. “Are you sure?” she asked roughly.
She leaned forward and placed a hand over the top of Piper’s folded ones. “Look at me, Piper.” Piper looked, biting on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying. “I didn’t leave all that for you. I left for me. I left before I even knew about you.”
“But I worry,” Piper whispered, her throat thick with tears. Large drops formed in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. “I worry that I’m keeping
you from what you love.”
“You’re not,” Hannah answered simply. “I’ve never been one to be pushed around. I have made every one of my choices. Good and bad. Getting sober and jumping ship, that was one of the good ones. Finding out about you came at just the right time.”
“What if you regret taking me on?”
“Nope,” Hannah said solidly. “I know regret. I’m comfortable with regret. Regret is my soul sister.”
Piper snickered and wiped away the tears.
“But…”
Hannah held up a finger, silencing the girl. “Butts are for pooping.”
Piper giggled despite herself and then sighed. “You’re so weird.”
“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone else, okay? I have a reputation to maintain.”
She touched Piper’s dark bangs and brushed them out of her red-rimmed eyes. “You feel any better?”
“A little.” Piper nodded and tried a watery smile.
“C’mere, pipsqueak.” Hannah slid away from the table and opened her arms. Piper dove in headfirst, burying her face in Hannah’s chest. Hannah smoothed her hair back and kissed the top of her head. “I love you. I will always love you. I promise, I have no regrets when it comes to you.”
Hannah didn’t make promises anymore. Not unless she was certain it was one she could keep.
That one?
Easiest promise she’d ever made.
JOHNNY
“That sounds amazing.”
Johnny turned the song off and spun in his chair.
“Hey, you made it.” Johnny stood and embraced Shawn. He was hoping he’d make it down to the studio before he’d left for the night. He was excited to show him what they’d accomplished that day.
Shawn looked around the studio.
“Is she still here?”
“Nah, she had to get going. But you should hear what she helped put down today.”
Shawn’s face fell a little and Johnny felt for the kid.
Ashton James had been his musical idol for years. To have her this close and not be able to do anything with that had to be one of the hardest things the teenager had ever experienced.
“She has to be out of here by five so she can get home,” Johnny explained softly.
“Right, no, that makes sense.” Shawn flopped onto the couch and forced a smile. “Show me what you made today.”
“You’re gonna love this,” Johnny promised. He flipped the switches to get back to where he needed to be.
Sunshine entered the control room at that moment. He’d been playing with a guitar in the dead room.
“Hey, you must be Johnny’s brother,” Sunshine greeted, sticking out a hand.
Shawn stood up and greeted the rock rapper with a coolness that Johnny didn’t have at that age.
“Cool to meet you, man,” Sunshine went on. “Johnny tells me you’re a musician too.”
Shawn smiled shyly and ran a hand through his hair. “I dabble. Nothing interesting, though.”
Hmm.
“Fire it up. Let’s see what the kid thinks,” Sunshine instructed, taking a seat on the arm of the couch.
The track began to play and Johnny heard Hannah’s touch through the entire thing.
One word: golden.
He remembered her having that gift way back when she had little to no experience and flirted her way into making sure her tracks came out to her preference.
“Damn, it does sound like Bowie,” Sunshine chuckled.
“But not overtly,” Johnny pointed out. He turned it up and glanced at Shawn, who was grinning.
He could hear it too. The unmistakable fingerprint of Hannah Lee. No matter what her name was now, her heart still beat in perfect, musical rhythm.
It was actually kind of sad that she had left the entire industry behind. They were less without her.
Well, not Sunshine, obviously.
And now Johnny would benefit from her gift as well.
Potentially.
He didn’t want to get ahead of himself. They had two tracks down and four more days of work ahead of them.
But the rest of the week would probably go fast if it was anything like that day had been. They’d spent a portion of the day getting a feel for each other’s vibe and learning how best to work together.
It had all clicked pretty quickly.
All Johnny had to do was not get sucked into her undertow and everything would be fine.
He just had to keep reminding himself that she was a devil woman. Beautiful, talented, and smart.
But also mean, selfish, and cruel.
He couldn’t forget that.
Chapter Nine
Every Time
HANNAH
She’d been early on purpose.
For whatever reason, walking into the studio and having Johnny stand there with his arms crossed was more intimidating than she had expected.
She needed to feel more grounded before she lost her cool and found her bad attitude.
Good thing Nikki had already been there to let her in. Though she wouldn’t have minded waiting in the cold if only to feel superior in a weird way when Johnny showed up.
“When did you get here?” came the expected growl behind her. And damn but if it didn’t turn her insides to Jell-O.
Strong men were always a weakness.
She had a serious problem with guys who enjoyed calling the shots. If only to drive them crazy and show them who was actually in charge.
She didn’t look up from her knitting when he entered.
“About a half hour ago.”
He stalked into the room, his energy taking up the entire space.
He smelled like leather and cheap soap.
“I brought you a coffee.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Again with the growl.
She raised just her eyes to him and he scowled at her.
“Does it bother you? That I brought coffee?”
This was dangerous territory. Deliberately baiting him.
Her heart pounded with excitement.
“Kinda,” he snapped. He turned around and hung his coat up on the hook by the door. Hannah pressed her lips together to keep from smiling.
“You sound like you need coffee.” She hid her smile behind her cup.
He huffed, putting his hands on his narrow hips.
It probably was a little like torture for him to have her in his space. Considering all the history he still carried around. She didn’t have quite the same burden. While she most definitely did what he remembered her doing, she had very little memory of it. Which meant it was easier for her to push it aside.
“How old were you?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“What?” he asked, thrown off by her question.
“When we met the first time. How old were you?”
He looked around the room, agitated. “Old enough to know better.”
“That’s not a thing.”
His eyes sharpened on her. “Yeah, it is.”
“No,” she disagreed. “It’s not. No one is old enough to know something they haven’t learned. Age isn’t a stipulation for knowledge. And it certainly doesn’t replace experience.”
“So why does it matter how old I was?” he countered.
She studied his face, the life she saw there. His eyes were so lived in.
“Because I wonder if it would make a difference in triggering my memory. If I could see you at that age.” She shrugged because she really had no idea. “Maybe if I could remember what you do, I’d feel just as uncomfortable about this as you do.”
He stared at her.
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
She raised her eyebrows, challenging his declaration.
He sighed. “I’m working on it.”
She didn’t push it and instead focused on her knitting. Which actually took a lot more focus than she was proud of.
“How’s the hat coming along?” he asked.
She was
thankful for his soft subject change. It felt like he was trying something new and she didn’t want to discourage it.
“It’s a very expensive disaster.”
He chuckled. “Having trouble?”
“You know, I don’t usually have this kind of problem learning new things. Not to brag too much, but I happen to have many undiscovered talents. Things that are difficult for others have always come easy for me. Music, for example. But this.” She shook the ugly mess of yarn and needles in her hands. “This is not easy.”
After a beat of silence, she glanced up and caught his small smile. Their eyes met for a breath and he looked away. He sat down at the board and started flipping switches.
Maybe seeing her struggle with something was amusing to him.
It was kind of amusing.
And if she could do her part in helping him not feel so threatened by her presence, she would.
There was no way for him to know this, but she wasn’t going to bail. She was done ruining lives. It was too exhausting of a reputation to maintain and she didn’t need that kind of burden hanging around for Piper to inherit.
“What is wrong with you people?” Sunshine grumbled as he shuffled in and collapsed on the far sofa. He twisted his head so his face was facing outward instead of in the cushions. “The whole reason I became a rock star was so that I didn’t have to be awake before noon.”
Hannah couldn’t help but smile.
Yeah, she had told Piper she didn’t miss the life, which was still true. But if everyone she had worked with had been like Sunshine and Johnny, her answer may have been different.
“I found this funk guitar in the dead room last night,” Sunshine announced and then left the live room.
Hannah looked up at Johnny in the control room. “Well, that’s an exit.”
Johnny shook his head, confused as usual by Sunshine’s moves. It made more sense to Hannah now, since their small talk yesterday about his ADHD.
It was a small break in between tracks. They were making good progress that day. Johnny was very focused, and Hannah had successfully been able to keep Sunshine on task even when he’d found anything and everything to distract himself.
Key Change: A Slow Burn Rockstar Romance (Common Threads Book 3) Page 14
