“Even though you and Johnny were yelling at each other last night, we’re going over to celebrate Shawn’s birthday?” She turned those piercing blue eyes on Hannah. “Won’t that be weird?”
“It probably will be,” Hannah agreed.
“Then why are we going?”
“Because it’s Shawn’s birthday.”
It’s not like it had been Hannah’s plan to do things this way. She hadn’t even considered involving herself in Shawn’s birthday. But Sarahi had texted her and so had Shawn, asking her to come.
And damn the unexpected, she wanted to go.
Shawn had become very dear to her, especially after working with him all day yesterday.
Unwillingly, uncharacteristically, she’d become invested in the young singer.
And his brother.
But that went without saying.
Didn’t it?
She still hadn’t been able to reconcile all the things he’d declared to her yesterday.
Less than twenty-four hours since he’d just casually used the L-word on her.
Like any respectable adult, Hannah had immediately left the premises.
Yes, she’d run away.
But she hadn’t wanted Johnny to know she was running away. So she’d told him she needed “space” and its super annoying companion “time.”
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
And Johnny, being Johnny, had given her exactly what she’d requested.
Did he know she’d be here tonight?
What would she do if he took one look at her and realized how not worth it she was?
None of those things mattered, she supposed as she slid out of the car and tucked her hands into her pockets.
Piper slammed the door and took off for the front of the house, way more comfortable at Shawn and Johnny’s aunt’s house than she was.
They’d only been there once, but she’d enjoyed it. Sarahi and her sisters were fun. The family had made her feel welcome.
But, even the warmest welcomes could wear out.
Hannah swallowed down her small spike of anxiety and glanced around the cold, quiet neighborhood. She imagined for a moment that this could be a regular thing. That being invited to family parties and celebrations might be a part of their future. Something Hannah knew Piper deserved.
A real life.
Not the hiding in plain sight one she had been cursed with the day Hannah had inherited her.
“I knew you couldn’t stay away from me.”
Hannah glanced up to find Johnny standing in the open doorway. The glow from the interior of the home splashed warmly onto the front steps and walk, beckoning her to come in. Her expression smoothed when their eyes met.
“Hey,” she said, sounding stupid to her own ears.
She also didn’t deny his statement, because what was the point?
She didn’t want time and space.
She just wanted to be with him all the time.
His lips tugged up on one side, like he could read her thoughts, and it did funny things to her insides.
She made it to the doorway, and he didn’t move to let her in.
Instead, his little half smile grew a fraction.
“Glad you made it,” he said, and then he dropped his voice. “Auntie made tacos.”
“You’re kidding,” she replied, eyes round.
All he did was grin and step aside to let her in.
Without thinking about what she was doing, she reached out and swatted his abs as she walked by him. He caught her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. She felt, rather than heard, his chuckle as he closed the door behind them.
And that quickly, her anxiety dissolved into a memory.
Johnny took her coat and hung it up for her.
Then, he took her hand, and she let him.
It happened so naturally she didn’t even realize it until later that night when she was alone in bed. All night, when given the chance, Johnny had a hold on her.
Laughter and conversations piled on top of one another filled the dining room as she entered.
“Hannah!” many voices declared, and she made her way around the room, giving hugs and receiving cheek-kisses from nearly everyone. Johnny’s finger was hooked into the back pocket of her jeans.
And she didn’t mind it.
Any of it.
After dinner, after singing, after cake, Hannah found herself on the stairs.
The same place she’d sought refuge on her first visit. Though refuge seemed like the wrong word.
Johnny was behind her, his knees framing her body, his hands on her shoulders, making casual circles with his thumbs where her neck met her back. They faced the large living room, where Ana and Piper had divided the family into teams for Charades.
Or a version of Charades that Hannah had never played before.
Shawn took a seat on the stair beside Hannah and glanced at her and Johnny, a smile tugging at his mouth.
“Did you hear about Shatface?” Shawn asked.
Hannah ran her tongue over her teeth to keep from outright grinning.
First of all, Shatface? Fucking brilliant.
Secondly, she’d heard.
Happy birthday, kiddo, she said inside.
If Johnny ever asked, she would tell him.
But he was the only one allowed to know that Hannah was the reason that Shatford had been investigated. No one else needed to know that little bit of petty revenge that Hannah had managed to arrange.
Not that much had to be done.
She’d simply decided to be the final straw for all the things Shatford needed to be held accountable for.
“The best part of her being fired is my application to be a tutor was approved. I can officially take on ESL students instead of sneaking around the study halls.”
“Shawn!” Ana called, waving him over for his turn.
Shawn bounded off the steps.
Johnny removed his hands, only to wrap his arms around her and rest his chin on her shoulder. “Did you have something to do with that?” he asked in her ear.
She leaned back into him and made a small affirmative sound.
He chuckled before brushing his lips along the shell of her ear. “Mmm, I like you.” His deep voice was a caress along her spinal column.
Hmm.
Maybe they needed to talk about reality for a second.
It was all well and good being wrapped in the arms of a veritable storybook hero. But that couldn’t last forever.
Right?
Keeping her eyes on the activity in front of them, she tilted her head to speak to him.
“Your family is pretty amazing,” she stated the obvious.
He grunted his agreement, waiting for her to continue.
“Someday I could be found out, you know.” She felt his body grow still around her. “And then it could—it would—ruin all of this. I will destroy their peace.”
The truth of what she was saying hung heavy in between them, and a small ache in her heart started to make itself known.
“They didn’t ask for that life. The same as Piper. Or you and Shawn.” She wanted to be ignorant to her own choices. She wished she could be blind to the consequences and the baggage that came along with who she was.
But she couldn’t.
“I care about you too much to let that happen.”
Johnny let her go and shifted to sit on the same step she was on so he could look her in the eye.
Which he did.
“Do I get a say in any of it?” he asked seriously.
She frowned because she wasn’t sure what he meant.
“I know the risks, Hannah,” he said softly. “I know who you are and who the world thinks you are. And I’m telling you…” He held her eyes with his. “You’re worth it. Whatever happens, I’m in it with you.”
Her heart tumbled and fell and splashed right into his messy love.
How had a miracle found her when she hadn’t even been brave enough to hope for it?
“And this family.” He lifted a chin, indicating the loud voices outside their quiet conversation. “They really are amazing. They can handle it.”
That was an easy promise to make. But not so easy to keep.
“What are you guys talking about?” Mia interrupted them, leaning over the banister.
Hannah hadn’t noticed her approach, so she had no idea what Sarahi’s sister had overheard.
“Are you talking about Hannah being Ashton James?”
Hannah blinked and Johnny blinked right back at her. Both of them equally shocked into silence.
Johnny recovered first. He cleared his throat and frowned earnestly at Mia. “What are you talking about?”
“Please,” Mia scoffed. “We’ve known the whole time. Sarahi recognized her at basketball registration.”
The room seemed to tilt and Hannah’s stomach dropped to the floor.
Too many thoughts swarmed her mind, fighting for relevancy. Had they told anyone? Of course they hadn’t told anyone. Alex would’ve found out. Why hadn’t they said anything? No one had signed an NDA. She would never be able to afford to pay off the entire family; it would bankrupt her. Not that it mattered; she’d figure it out.
Her thoughts stilled when Johnny applied pressure to her knee. She glanced up and found is brown eyes calm and confident.
“Mia, have you told anyone?” Johnny asked.
Mia snorted. “Right. Like that’s gonna happen.”
“Wait. Why didn’t you say anything?” Hannah asked.
Mia’s eyes bounced between Johnny and Hannah, and for the first time in the conversation, she looked guilty.
“Because…” Mia’s voice trailed off and her gaze went beyond Hannah to a point behind her.
“Because I told them not to.”
Aunt Carmen stepped into the conversation and Hannah swiveled on the step to face the older woman.
“I don’t understand.”
Carmen’s eyes, brown and soft and so like Johnny’s, examined Hannah in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced. It felt…maternal.
“Because you have the look I did when I came to this country for the first time. The look of a woman running for her life.”
Hannah’s heart squeezed and she inhaled a choppy breath.
“You will always have refuge with us.”
Hannah couldn’t respond. Her mouth had dried up.
Carmen smiled softly and transferred her gaze to Johnny. She nodded once and then hooked an arm through Mia’s, leading her away.
And leaving Hannah and Johnny alone.
Still unable to speak, Hannah slowly shook her head at Johnny, wishing he really could read her mind. And maybe he could, because he choked on a laugh and then slid close to her side, putting an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and closed her eyes.
Did she deserve their acceptance and protection? No.
Did she deserve their kindness and understanding? No.
But maybe it wasn’t about deserving.
Maybe it was bigger than that.
Who was she to tell people what they could and could not decide for themselves?
Piper’s loud laugh drew her attention and she smiled at how bright and happy her sister was.
Living in secret had had its purpose.
But the purpose had been fulfilled.
She needed to speak to Quinn because she was done standing in the way of everyone’s happiness.
Including her own.
The lights came up and they were brighter than she remembered.
Smoke swept over the floor before her and swirled lazily in the multicolored beams pointed directly at her.
Hannah squinted against the brilliance. She held a hand up to shade her face, but it didn’t help.
The sequins on her dress caught her attention and she looked down.
Hadn’t this dress been ruined years ago?
Maybe it had been repaired.
She pulled the hem through her fingers, watching the glint and sparkle shift and fall.
Her stomach ricocheted with familiar butterflies, and her earpiece crackled in her ear.
It wasn’t working again.
She tugged it out and let in dangle over her shoulder.
All she could hear was her breath and her heartbeat—loud, loud, louder.
Sweat trickled from her hairline, down her temple, and dripped from her jaw.
A hand touched her right elbow and slowly slid light fingers down her forearm to her hand. She turned her head to see Johnny there.
His eyes on her.
His fingers reached hers and he laced his with hers, pressing their palms together.
In her left hand was a microphone.
She glanced back at Johnny, who was standing by her side, shoulder to shoulder.
He wasn’t distracted by the lights and the smoke. He kept his attention on her.
She looked up and there was no ceiling, only stars. A black, black sky with pinpricks of light.
Taking another labored breath, she stepped forward to her mark and brought the microphone to her mouth.
Hannah sat up in bed, sucking in a breath big enough to make her dizzy.
The gray light of morning peeking through her curtains revealed her quiet bedroom in the condo where she’d resided for eighteen months.
She wasn’t on a stage in a stadium.
No bright lights.
No smoke.
She glanced to her right and the empty bed beside her.
No Johnny.
Shaking off the dream, she swung her legs out of the bed and headed into the bathroom.
She turned on the shower and stepped inside.
Of all the families in all the world she could have stumbled into, it had to be one that understood her motivations.
When she’d said goodnight to Johnny last night, she’d kissed his cheek.
And when she closed her eyes while hugging him, she saw her next steps laid out in front of her like a freshly paved road.
She knew exactly what to do next.
She finished in the shower, wrapped a towel around her torso and one around her head, went back to her bedroom, and sat down on the edge of her bed, facing her closet.
And stared.
Picking out what to wear felt like a bigger deal today.
Should she wear something sexy?
To work?
Bleck, no.
But neither did she want to dress boring.
Not today.
Johnny made her want to be…something.
Something closer to herself.
The sensation that accompanied that want was like electricity traveling between her brain and heart on a relay.
He made her unafraid to be whatever it was she was cursed to be.
After two years of sobriety and never stopping, never taking a break, in her fight to be better, she’d started to realize there were parts of her that weren’t going to leave.
Her big mouth, for one.
But he seemed to be okay with it.
She stood and started picking through the choices in her walk-in closet.
The night they’d danced in his kitchen and she’d told him about getting slapped and subsequently fired, he’d laughed.
He’d laughed so hard and deep, she wanted to be able to make him laugh like that forever.
He hadn’t chastised her or scoffed or looked disappointed.
She would never be polished and sweet and shiny. No matter how hard she worked at it, she’d always have rough edges and a sharp tongue.
Johnny deserved better.
She rubbed the back of her neck as tension pooled there.
Because even though Johnny deserved better, she still wanted him.
And wasn’t that just the most selfish thing ever?
Classic Hannah.
But he knew.
He knew most of her bad. He knew what she was capable of.
And he stayed.
Johnny wasn’t a
n idiot. He was smart. Careful with his time and attention. He didn’t waste energy on things that he didn’t want or need.
He was the first person she could remember being able to tell the truth to without needing to apologize after.
With Johnny, she felt…safe.
Safe to be herself, and safe to explore who she wanted to be.
On that thought, she grabbed a pair of distressed skinny jeans, a sky-blue silk camisole, a white sweater with a deep V-neck, and her black leather jacket.
JOHNNY
“Nikki, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Johnny sighed. “It was a good deal. I took the risk.”
“They’re junk, Johnny. Every single one,” Nikki hollered over her shoulder as she trudged back down the hall, box of broken pedals in her hands, probably headed to the dumpster.
“I guess sometimes things are too good to be true,” he muttered to himself.
“Talking about me again?”
Johnny turned around to find Hannah standing in the doorway of the live room. Black leather jacket draped over an arm, white sweater slipping off one shoulder, tight jeans, black heeled boots. No glasses today, her raven hair loose and slightly tousled.
Damn.
That hair of hers.
It was like animated Disney princess hair. Thick and luxurious and shiny.
He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted her.
Her beauty was a dangerous kind of intoxication.
The more he drank her in, the more lost he became.
And he didn’t care to be found.
She was all passion and danger.
A fire that began on the surface and went all the way to the core of who she was. The kind of heat that could keep him warm, winter after winter.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, trying to appear casual. He stuck the pencil he’d been using behind his ear and tucked the clipboard under his arm.
“I was offered a job?” She narrowed her eyes playfully.
“A job?” He rubbed his jaw. “I think I would have heard about that.”
She bit her bottom lip in mid-smile while rolling her eyes.
He lifted his chin toward the control room upstairs. “Let’s talk in my office.”
She slid her eyes that direction before moving.
He closed the door behind them and set the clipboard down on the edge of the soundboard.
Key Change: A Slow Burn Rockstar Romance (Common Threads Book 3) Page 30
