His eyes go so big they look like they’re about to pop out of his head. “As in your wedding Scott? Your best man?”
“The one and only.”
“Damn man, she’s got some nerve.”
“While I’d normally agree with you, I can honestly say I feel nothing about the fact she’s engaged to another man. There are zero feelings there anymore. More than anything, I’m worried about how he’ll react to Syd. He never wanted kids, and now he’s getting a ready-made family,” I shift in my seat, getting irritated as I think about it some more.
Gunner laughs. “That’s probably what she’s doing. Seeing if he really does or not. Seeing how he responds to Syd.”
“I swear, if he hurts her, I will murder him,” I crack my knuckles. “She’s sensitive and after a bad experience at her mom’s it can sometimes take weeks for her to be okay,” I sigh. “Fuck I wish I didn’t have to send her into the belly of the beast like this.”
“You’re a great dad,” Gunner puts his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“Lot of good that does me when I have to send her into this situation.”
“Look at it this way,” he stands up, walking towards the kitchen area. “If this goes bad, you’ll probably never have to deal with it again.”
Not exactly what I’m hoping to hear. My phone vibrates, and I see I have a message from Courtney.
C: We’re twenty minutes out.
A: Okay, I’ll have mom bring Syd over.
Even though it’s the last thing in the world, I want to do.
“Do I have to go?” Syd questions as we get her stuff out of my mom’s car. “I promise I’ll be good. I won’t ask to shave my legs anymore.”
God this tears me up. “Honey, this is not a punishment for you being bad or anything like that. Your mom just wants to spend some time with you.”
“But I don’t want to spend time with her,” she pouts.
Her eyes, so like mine are going hard with anger, but I recognize this for what it. A defense mechanism. If she’s angry, then rejection won’t hurt as much.
“Please Syd, give it a shot. For me?” I bend down, so I’m at eye level with her. “You have your phone. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, you can call me, I’ll come and get you. If you just want to say hi, call me, and if I can’t talk, leave a message, I will call you back. Please don’t make this difficult on us,” my heart is breaking as I talk to her. I don’t want to make her do something she doesn’t want to do, but my hands are tied.
“Okay dad, but only because I love you.”
Jesus Christ, this kid.
Before I can say anything else, Courtney and Scott pull into the fire station. Fucker is driving the SUV I bought for her when we found out we were having a kid. Looks like he’s just scooted into every part of my life.
“Scott,” I nod to him as he gets out.
“Ashford,” he nods back as the both of us look each other over.
It’s a dick move, but I take pleasure in noticing he’s put on a few pounds and his hairline is receding much faster than mine is. There’s gray in his beard, and his clothes don’t fit his body as they should.
“Sydney, come here and give me a hug,” Courtney lays it on thick, gathering our daughter up in her arms. She hugs her like she hasn’t seen her in months, which she hasn’t, but it looks overdone, even to me.
Syd fights against the embrace, but when I clear my throat, she allows it. Much as she doesn’t want to, she knows she has to.
“We’re going to have so much fun!” Courtney tells her as I hand her bags to Scott.
“Be good,” I look into her eyes, giving her the best smile I can. “I’ll see you in a few days.”
She runs to me, throwing her small arms around my body. “Do I have to?” She whispers, and I can hear the fear there.
“Yeah,” I whisper back, my voice choked, full of emotion. “Yeah, you have to. You can call me, anytime, day or night. I promise.”
She pulls away, looking up at me. “But who will take care of you if I’m not there? You’ll be by yourself. I don’t want to leave you alone, Dad.”
Fucking kills me, this girl of mine. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. You go and have fun with them. Don’t worry about me, it’s not your job to worry if I’m good. I’ll be good as long as I know you are,” I whisper. “Give them a chance, sweetheart. Do it for me?”
She nods, but I can read her like a book. She doesn’t want to go, and I don’t want her to go, but I have to be the adult here.
I give her another hug and a kiss, sending her off with two people she barely knows. My own mother gives me a hug before she leaves, and before I know it, I find myself in my truck, the loneliness already seeping in. What the fuck am I going to do with all this time by myself? It’s funny, on days when I have her, I can think of a million other things that need to be done, but now that I’m alone – I can’t think of one. I need a distraction, something to take my mind off the fact my daughter isn’t in my care. There’s only one person I want to be around right now, but it’s a long shot.
Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I look up Emma’s name. Maybe it’s time to get to know the girl I thought I knew all those years ago. Before I lose my nerve, I send a text.
A: You got any plans tonight?
Six
Emma
Panic grips me as I stare at the text message that’s just come through on my phone. Never, in a million years did I think he’d seriously ask me out. Maybe we’d be text buddies, play phone tag here and there, possibly see each other at the diner and share small smiles back and forth.
I repeat, never did I believe he would ask me out!
My hands shake as I fumble for an answer. My heart pounds against my chest wall, making me feel as if I’ve run a marathon. I almost laugh hysterically. I never have plans, but he doesn’t have to know that.
E: Just checked, I’m free tonight.
Good job, Emma, I praise myself. Way to act like you have some sort of social calendar. Doesn’t matter if that calendar consists of you watching Netflix and eating a whole bag of movie butter popcorn on your own.
A: Courtney picked up Syd for the weekend, was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight.
That must be hard for him, to give his daughter up, especially when I’ve seen her with him more often than not. I honestly can’t even think of the last time I saw him without her. He’s definitely a hands-on dad, so this must be a lonely time for him.
E: Sounds good, any ideas on what you wanna do?
A: We can walk to the pub, have a few beers, play some pool.
The pub is the central location for our little seaside town. If we walk, we can drink, and we won’t have to worry about the awkwardness of having to drive someone home if this doesn’t work out.
E: I’ll meet you there. Eight okay?
A: Perfect! See you there, Em.
Em. He’s never called me Em before, there’s a little flutter to my heart that I take hold of with both hands and hold close to me. It shouldn’t mean much, but Lord help me, it does.
Looking back down at my phone, I see it’s five pm, and I know I have to start getting ready now. There’s only one person I can call when I need fashion help, and that’s my best friend, Sabrina.
She’s the cool one of the two of us. She made her way out of Midnight Cove, married a man she fell deeply in love with, and now has the cutest two-year-old in the world. Quickly I press the button to FaceTime her and wait impatiently for her to pick up.
“Hey,” she smiles into the phone.
Just like that, it’s almost like she never left. The marvels of modern technology never cease to amaze me.
“Hey,” I smile back. “Are you free?”
“Yeah, Jayden is napping, and I’m downstairs, so I can talk.”
My smile morphs into a grin then a scream. “I have a date tonight with Ashford McKinley, what the hell should I wear?”
Her eyes widen, and she screams right al
ong with me. “I just talked to you a week ago, what the fuck’s been going on in Midnight Cove?”
“So much,” I giggle, settling in to tell her about everything that’s happened since the last time we talked.
“What do you think? Too much?” I stand in front of where I have my phone propped against a cup, stepping back so that Sabrina can see me fully.
“No, I love it, especially the way the oversize sweater hangs off your shoulder showing your bra strap. Be sure and wear a sexy one.”
I roll my eyes. An off-the-shoulder sweater isn’t typically something I would purchase myself, but Instagram ads sucked me in, and I found myself ordering this one a few months ago. It hugs in all the right places, and I’ve been trying to find a place to wear it since I got it. My jeans are my favorite. I’ve worn them so many times they’re like a second skin. I wish I could wear cute shoes, but it’ll have to be boots tonight to combat the snow on the ground and the cold temperatures.
“Be sure to curl your hair, and go for a dramatic lip, Em. He’ll want to kiss you to see if the lipstick smudges.”
Laughing, I finish the call with Sabrina before she can give me more tips and tricks.
* * *
Ash
This is officially date number three I’ve been on since my divorce five years ago. Not that I’m counting or anything, there’s been so few of them, it’d be hard not to count them. Will I admit to anyone I do? No, since that makes me seem so desperate, I’d rather keep a little bit of my manhood intact.
Checking the watch on my wrist, I see I have fifteen minutes before we’re supposed to meet. Hurrying through the house, I grab my jacket, sticking my ever-present black hat on my head, put on some gloves, and then lock up before I head out.
Most people hate the cold. Me? I love it. There’s something about the crispness. Maybe it’s because I spend so much time in the heat of fighting a fire. There’s a renewal of sorts when it gets cold. Things die off so they can grow again, it reminds me of life and relationships. My breathe shows as a fog that freezes in the air as I walk along the plowed sidewalk.
Nervousness tightens my shoulders as I approach the pub. Fear she won’t show, fear she will. It’s all one and the same. Especially for someone who’s been so long out of the game. The parking lot is full as I approach, but not packed. That’s when I see her, standing under one of the lights.
It’s almost as if I see her for the first time. Emma has grown up, we all have, but for so long I kept seeing her as the mousy girl from high school a couple years younger than me, wearing loose clothes, and not caring what other people thought of her.
As she looks down at her phone, I realize I don’t think I’ve ever taken a good look at her before. Ever. Granted, I noticed the tighter clothes she wore, but standing under the light her blonde hair, covered by a knit cap looks like a halo. It’s long enough so that the curls hand down over her chest. Immediately I’m hit with an image of her riding me, the curls playing peek-a-boo with strawberry colored nipples. Fuck me, now I’m hard, but I won’t apologize for the thoughts running through my head.
“Hey,” I greet her, waving like a dumbass.
“Hey,” she smiles back.
“Have you been here long?” I check my watch to make sure I didn’t take longer than I thought to walk over.
“A few minutes, I wasn’t sure if the sidewalks would be plowed or not, so I left a little early.”
She shivers, and I remember where we are. “Let’s get you inside, it’s cold out here.”
It seems natural as hell to put my hand on the small of her back, ushering her into the pub. If at all possible it’s darker in here than it was outside, but I see a table over next to the game section. “Over there,” I point, showing her where we can sit.
Since it’s still relatively early for a Friday night, the music isn’t too loud, and we can still hear one another as we take our outwear off and slide into the booth. My eyes roam the clothing she’s wearing, stopping at the bare shoulder, only blemished by the burgundy strap of either a bra or one of those shirts girls wear under other shirts. Badly, I want to see which one it is. My voice reveals my arousal when I manage to croak out a question. “Hungry?”
“We can share some appetizers?” She suggests, and it strikes me, I haven’t shared food with anyone other than Syd in a long time.
“What’s your poison?” I pull the menu to the middle of the table, leaning in as she does so that our foreheads are almost touching. These booths aren’t big at all. The smell of her perfume hits my nostrils, and I wish I had been brave enough to tell her to sit over here next to me, or maybe I would have taken the seat next to her. That’s the old Ash, though, the one who knows he has moves and uses them. This version of Ash knows he’s rusty as fuck and hopes this woman won’t hold it against him.
Her green eyes shift from the menu up to mine, a mischievous look on her face as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Cheese fries. Ranch on the side.”
“My kinda girl,” I nod in agreement.
Our waitress comes over, taking our order for the food and request for a pail of beers. Since neither one of us have to drive tonight, I have a feeling, we’re going to have a great time.
Inside my pocket, my cell phone picks this moment to ring. On the screen is the smiling face of my daughter.
“I gotta take this,” I hold it up, showing her who’s called me.
“Please do,” she points to the back hallway of the pub. It’s one of the quieter places, where the music isn’t so loud, and people can have a private conversation.
“Syd? How’s it going?” I ask as soon as I’m away from the loudest part.
“Okay,” she answers, although I can hear she’s not happy. “We had tacos for dinner.”
“Oh no,” I run a hand over my beard.
“She didn’t remember I hate tacos, dad.”
A grimace covers my face as I can almost hear her rolling her eyes. “She’s trying, Syd.”
“But you know,” she argues. “You know what I like and what I don’t like. Shouldn’t she know?”
It’s hard to argue logic like this with a kid who seems to understand everything. “Sometimes we forget,” I try to take up for Courtney when really I’d like to knock her in the head, ask her why she keeps doing this.
“We did have dessert,” she grumbles. “It was Oreo ice cream.”
“Your favorite,” maybe helping her look to the bright side will do the trick.
“But I’m still hungry because I don’t like tacos,” she whines.
“Do you want me to call her and tell her what you like? I can, it’s not that big of a deal.”
Syd’s quiet for a minute. This almost seven-year-old girl, because the distinction is important to her, of mine is much more attuned to things around her than I think she is. “No, I guess it would be best if I told her. I’ve grown up since the last time I saw her.”
“You have,” and why does that shit make my throat almost close?
“I’ll be good,” she sighs.
“Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you too, Dad. Hope you’re not too lonely.”
As she says those words, I pace to where I can see Emma sitting at the booth, waiting for me to come back. “I’m doing fine, Syd. Don’t worry about me.”
Hanging up with her, I make my way back over to the booth. I contemplate sitting next to her, but don’t want to be too forward.
“Syd okay?” She questions, obvious interest on her face.
“She’s good,” I nod, even though I’m still pissed at Courtney.
Reaching across the table, she grabs my hand. “And you? Are you good?”
I flip my hand over so that we’re palm-to-palm, entwining our fingers together. Just that simple touch sends a shot of awareness up my body. “Yeah,” I clear my throat with a grin. “Getting better all the time. Being here with you is the best thing I could have done.”
She smiles at me, a pretty smile that roses up
her cheeks and makes those eyes of her bright. I make a vow at this moment that I’ll do anything I can to keep putting that look on her face.
Seven
Ash
“I had no idea you could play pool,” I shoot a look of disbelief at Emma. So far she’s conned me out of twenty-five bucks. If I get to keep looking at the picture in front of me, I’d give her every dollar I possess.
She’s bent over the side of the pool table, giving me a magnificent view of her ass in the tight jeans she wears. Her shirt rides up the back, as she stretches across the felt. It’s almost enough for me to see bare skin, but not quite there. A fucking tease if there ever was one. It’s then she looks over her shoulder, back at me, giving me a wink. The three beers she’s had have relaxed her a considerable amount and the two I’ve had to pull down boundaries and barriers I’ve placed over myself for many years. I can’t remember the time I let myself have a good time with an adult.
“It’s my dirty little secret.”
I’d like to be her dirty little secret. Jesus Christ. Give me some alcohol and adult company of the opposite sex. Apparently, I turn into a teenage boy. To be fair, it’s been twelve long months. Twelve. As in a year. Three hundred and sixty-five days of frustration. Waking up with a hard-on I can’t do anything about, except beat it in the shower. Before that, it was fourteen months. I’m the poster boy for people who need to get laid. Fuck, I’m probably the president of the damn club.
“Eightball into the corner pocket,” she points with the pool cue.
While I’ve been standing here thinking about how hot she is, she’s wiped the table with me. Fuck I can’t even be irritated about it. The gleam of victory in her eyes is sexy in a way I’ve never seen it be before. “You won again,” I watch her over the top of the beer bottle as I drain the rest of it.
She shrugs, draining her own bottle. “It’s all good luck,” she smacks those lips of hers, still painted with the pink color of whatever she’s used on them.
Inflame: Midnight Cove #1 Page 4
