by Ella James
And somehow both of us are in the grass, and Liam’s on top of me until I turn the tables. Then I’m riding him. We kiss and kiss and kiss until I’m comfortable and not nervous, until I’m wet and throbbing. Then he peels my clothes off and I work his pants down. I play with his hard cock through the fabric of his underwear, loving the way he grits his teeth and moans; loving the control.
I strip his boxer-briefs away and take him in my mouth, teasing that notch underneath his head when he tenses and looks alarmed that I’m about to suck his dick.
“It’s fine,” I whisper. Then I lick around his head and take him deeper into my mouth, down my throat. I’m going to make him come like this, because I want—I need—to see him helpless, so that I can feel in charge.
For the same reason, I stop when he’s on the cusp. His balls are taut and hard, his cock swollen and jerking when I lick it, his abs quivering with every breath.
I pull his cock back and work my way atop him, loving the way he groans as I straddle him, teasing him there at my entrance the way he teased me.
“FUCK, Lucy…”
“If you’re sure you want it.” I grin, then I sink down on him.
It feels so amazing, all the pent-up pressure inside me tops off as I grind against him and Liam thrusts at the same moment. I come from just that one delicious motion, spasming around him as I cry out.
Liam’s chin tips up and his abs clench as he makes a tortured sound. Then I feel a burst of warmth inside me.
* * *
Liam
We decide to stay another night.
There’s a place near where we’re camped out called The Pool. It’s a tiny hot spring, but like the one on Pirate Island, it’s not that hot, so I think Lucy could get in it.
We spend the day fishing in a pond the stream leads down to, on some of the low lands around the castle. Then we both ride Pegasus to the hot springs. It’s the longest that I’ve been on the castle grounds in years. Hell, one of my longest stints outside in years, with the exception of some sailing excursions, and the week this summer when we camped at Patagonia.
As we ride Pegasus to The Pool, Lucy in the saddle, me behind her, I find myself telling her all about the summer. How Heath, our cousin Arden, his friend Bart, Ethan Lucas, a 20-year-old former boy band-er from the U.K., and occasionally Dec hit every continent but Antarctica in eleven weeks.
I can tell she’s holding back on something, so I pinch her hip and say, “What?”
“What do you mean what?”
“What aren’t you saying, Luce?”
“Me? Nothing.”
“C’mon now. I know you.”
“Do you?” Her back stiffens, and she sits up slightly straighter in the saddle.
I lift her hair and bite the nape of her neck. “Yes. I think I do.”
I feel her shiver. Just to be an ass, I bite her one more time. “Tell me.”
“You’re leaving a hickey!”
“You’ve got hair. No one will see. So tell me, Lucy. What are you holding back. If you don’t tell me, I’ll start guessing.”
She makes a pssh sound. “I’d like to hear that.”
“Okay.” I kiss her lightly on the nape, then smooth her hair back down. “I think it’s something relating to my Instagram account. You got quiet after I was telling you about Ethan posting that picture of the parrot.”
She sighs, just about the time I see the silver of The Pool, crisscrossed with the reflection of tree limbs.
“It’s not the parrot. It’s the women.”
“The women?”
“Not Ethan’s women. Yours, Liam.”
“I’m kind of lost.”
“Your women! From that entire trip. That’s all your Instagram feed was almost, at least there for a while. Just you and a bunch of models and the local girls wherever.”
“You don’t like that?”
It doesn’t make sense to me. Lucy doesn’t seem to be the jealous type, nor insecure.
“I didn’t mind it at all before I got to know you.”
“And now?”
She heaves another deep sigh. “Now it makes me wonder if this whole thing is a mistake.”
“What whole thing? You mean this now? With us?”
“I guess it’s not even a thing. Not really.”
I can feel her ribs expand with another deep breath. I can’t see her face, but I can feel her misery.
“Lucy…” I wrap my arms around her waist, spreading a hand over her belly. “It’s a thing.” I clench my teeth, trying to think of how the fuck to explain myself. I’ve never been good at this shit. I think of all the girls who’ve hunted me since I became a teenager, and I can’t a dry laugh. “I don’t even know why, Lucy. The timing…” I shake my head, thinking of Drucilla and Ronald. “Suffice it to say, I did not plan on this. Not this,” I clarify, stroking her flat belly, “but…this thing with us.”
It makes my chest feel tight to say it out loud. Like putting words to how I feel will make it fall apart. Will make her disappear.
“I didn’t mean to for it to happen,” I manage in a quiet tone.
“Didn’t mean for what to happen?”
I lean my forehead against her shoulder, breathing deeply as the world around me tilts.
“I didn’t mean to care for you this way. I never meant to care this way for anyone.”
I don’t even know it’s true until I hear the words spoken. Then I feel like something’s got me by the throat.
Lucy’s hand trails over both of mine, still clasped around her waist. Her fingers stroke the tops of my knuckles.
“It’s not just you. I feel the same way,” she says in a voice close to a whisper. Peg stops near the muddy fringes of The Pool, and Lucy looks over her shoulder, her eyes round and serious on mine.
“I was nervous that it was just me. It makes me glad to know it’s not.” She smiles, and all the pressure on my chest seems to dissipate.
“It’s not. Damn you, Lucy.” I pull her close, kissing her cheek. “I don’t mean that, acushla.”
I help Lucy off the horse, and seconds later, her back’s pressed against a tree trunk and I’m kissing up and down her throat. I can’t help myself. I need her. I hate it—and I love it.
“You’re so beautiful.”
We kiss so long and hard, first against the tree, then on a blanket I spread out for us, when Lucy pulls away panting, I feel dizzy. Her hand goes back between my legs.
“I want to get you off again.” She grins. “I like to.”
“I like you to, too.”
“But maybe we should get into the springs. It’s getting dark.”
She’s right; it is. Where did they day go?
“You’re right,” I say. “Let’s get in, then we’ll go back to the castle.”
“Someone else will pack up camp?”
I smirk, slightly abashed. “Of course.”
“Hey—I’m not complaining.”
We float in the springs for not as long as Lucy wants to—but I’m extra vigilant about the baby. “I don’t want you to get too hot,” I tell her as I dry her with a giant towel.
She snorts. “It’s way too late for that.”
I chuckle softly. “Lucy Su. That’s what your friends call you?”
“Yeah. For Lucille Sutton, which is my middle name.”
“I like it.” I kiss her neck, and soon it’s even darker. The moon is shining brightly by the time we leave the grove, Luce wearing one of my giant Sox hoodies, a pair of soft leggings, and boots.
As I wrap my arms around her waist and sway lightly with Peg’s gait, I’m forced to admit to myself that something is wrong. For the last half of the day, I’ve been feeling shitty—kind of nauseated, the way Lucy says she feels sometimes. As we ride back toward the castle, I wonder if her hormones could make me feel off as well. Or I’m having some kind of anxiety attack. My arms and hands feel weak, and my heart is racing bad enough to make me sweat. I’ve got a throbbing headache, so bad I lea
n my head against Lucy’s shoulder for a minute.
“You all right back there, butt rider?”
I smile weakly, nodding. “Headache.”
I squeeze her slightly, wrapping myself closer around her.
“I like it,” I whisper near her ear.
“Like what? Having a headache?”
“I like that you’re having my baby.”
“Yeah?” she says.
I fold my hand over her belly. “We’ll be good.”
“Good parents?”
I nod. “We don’t have to live here. We can raise it in America. Whatever we want.”
“Really?”
I nod. That much, I can promise her.
“Do you want to raise the baby together?”
I nod against her shoulder.
“What if…we’re not together?”
“Whatever we want, Luce. We’re the parents. I respect you, I like being with you. It’ll be okay.”
I cut my throbbing gaze up toward the stars. They’re bright tonight. They make me feel so fucking small. I hope I can be good to the baby. Nothing like my own father.
Thinking about him makes my head hurt more. I rest it against her shoulder again.
“You okay?”
I try to nod.
“Do you get migraines?” she asks.
“Sometimes.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll slow your boy here down to more of a slow walk.”
“Thanks.”
I loosen my grip on her midsection and try to keep my breathing even as my mind races.
This is wrong, my conscience tells me. Make her go. It doesn’t matter if she thinks she likes you. Think about her safety, and the baby’s.
Now that I know she’s pregnant, what kind of person would I be if I let Lucy stay near me and the poison that’s my life right now?
I can feel my pulse pound in between my ears as my shoulders start shaking like my hands are.
Calm down, I try to tell myself. That’s the last thought I remember.
TWENTY-NINE
Lucy
Everything happens so fast. In one fraction of a second, I notice how heavily he’s slumped against my back. Half a heartbeat later, something knocks my shoulder, and I realize Liam is falling to the ground.
At first I think he jumped off, but a frantic blink shows me he’s crumpled on the grass.
“Liam!”
I’m tossing one leg over the top of the saddle before I jerk Peg’s reins, so when I dismount, I land on the grass with some bounce.
“Liam…” I’m reaching for him several steps before I’m close enough to drop down beside him. The moment my knees hit the grass, Liam rolls from his side onto his back, groaning as his eyes blink.
“Oh my God, are you okay?”
His brows draw down over his squinting eyes. The corners of his lips turn down. I notice that his face is white, so white it’s almost gray.
“Oh God, Liam—can you move?” My voice cracks as my right hand hovers over his forehead.
Finally, his gaze finds mine. His eyelids are heavy and his eyes glassy, but I feel better with him looking at me. I grab onto his hand, then let it go because if he can’t move, I might hurt him.
“I…can.” The words are grunted; low. He shifts his shoulders, then, before I can protest, he’s sitting up. He brings his hand up to his forehead, leaning over just a little. His mouth is still drawn up.
“What happened? Should I call somebody?”
“No.” He starts to shake his head, then stops abruptly, squinting from between his fingers. “No. I’m okay.”
He starts to get up, and I grab him by the bicep, helping balance him as best I can, considering I’m so much smaller. When he’s fully on his feet, he groans again, and winces—and I notice he’s holding his right arm at a weird angle.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t call someone?” My voice is shaking. My body is shaking. “I’m worried.”
His left hand reaches for my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know…” He shakes his head slowly. I watch him look down at his right arm, mouth pressing into a flat line as he straightens it. “I don’t know what happened,” he says quietly.
“I think you should let me call someone. I don’t think you should get back on the horse.”
“I can walk back.” His gaze moves to the trees around us.
“Are we close?”
“Yeah.” He rubs a hand over his eyes, then shifts his attention to my face. “Are you okay?”
“Of course! I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay? What was that?”
“My head…” He blinks slowly. “I just need to get home.” His eyes shut for a moment. “You should ride Peg back.”
“Are you kidding me? No way.”
“It’s just…through there.”
It turns out Liam is right. We’re maybe two hundred yards from the castle. We walk arm in arm the whole way back, with Peg following behind Liam like some kind of big, obedient dog.
A few times, I think I feel Liam shudder, but I’m probably imagining things. He’s walking fine and talking fine and says his head isn’t hurting—at least not in a concussion sort of way. Obviously, he landed on his arm. He tells me he gets migraines sometimes; it’s nothing new.
Still—I have a feeling he’s trying to downplay how badly his shoulder hurts. I know I’m right when we reach the spotlighted lawn of the castle. In the low light, I see his face tighten when he moves his right arm.
“You must have landed on that side.”
He nods. When Liam notices me staring at him, he bumps me with his left shoulder. “Lucy…” He smiles faintly, then arches his brows. His face looks tired; he still looks pale, but he smirks a little as he looks into my eyes and tells me, “I’m okay.”
“If you say so.”
He pulls his arm from where it’s laced through the crook of my elbow and takes my hand. His is warm and slightly damp, but its fingers seem to know just what they’re doing, stroking mine with care. We go into a door I’ve never seen before, which leads into what appears to be a giant storage room.
“Kitchen stuff,” he says as he steers me between tall shelves.
At the far end of the room, Liam lets my hand go and opens a wide door. It puts us out at the bottom of the narrow staff staircase.
“Can you do the stairs?” I whisper.
Liam smirks. “Lucy.”
“Hey, just checking.” I stick my tongue out at him, and Liam gives me one of his sweet smiles.
We pass a female member of the help staff, dressed in a black and white apron outfit, as we walk toward our rooms. She nods at us, and Liam nods back. When we get to his room, he stops outside his door and grabs my shoulder.
“Luce…” He pulls me up against him, harder than I was expecting. “Thank you,” he whispers into my hair.
I pull away a little, so I can look into his eyes. “Are you going to call a doctor? For your shoulder?”
“Yeah, the castle has someone.” His eyes explore the hallway wall behind me for a small moment before returning to mine. “Do you want to take a few days? Do some traveling? I can send a guard.”
I realize with a start that he must want me to go.
“Do you think your migraine will be around for a while?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re pretty sure that’s what it is? I’m still worried, you know.”
He smiles, crooked. “Yeah, I’m sure. Don’t worry, Lucy Su. I’m just going to sleep it off.”
“Okay.” Is that why he wants me gone, or is there some other reason?
“I’ll have Mora recommend some places and Heath or Ain get some reservations for you, wherever you want to go.”
Tears fill my eyes. I have to blink quickly to hide them. I keep my voice steady as I tell him, “I don’t have to come back after that. Just let me know what’s on your schedule.”
“Lucy—” He shuts his eyes, inhaling deeply before he opens them. “I want you to.”
I can’t help a small smile. “Okay.”
“Text me?”
“Sure.”
He leans in for a light kiss. When he lingers there, his mouth inches from mine, I run a hand over his bearded jawline. “Take care, Liam. You sure you don’t need anything?”
He nods, one half of his mouth tugging up into a small, strained smile. “Thanks, Lucy.”
“Thank you.”
We kiss once more—it’s short and sweet—before Liam disappears into his rooms. I stand outside his door for a few minutes, wishing we were close enough that I could go inside and snuggle up to him. I don’t like leaving knowing that he’s sick.
Eventually, I give in to reason and go into my own room, where I perch in one of the chairs and text Amelia.
‘OMG AM!!!!!!! I told him!!! And it went AMAZINGLY! Prince Liam is the best guy ever. I’m not even kidding you. #Swooning <3’
I lie on my bed, Grey purring at my feet, for hours while Amelia and I text. About Liam and me. About Am and Dash. About the woodsy, sweet smell of the air here and the irritation of working on an animated movie. Sometime around 10 p.m. my time, I notice a long text from Heath that, at a glance, looks to be about B&Bs. I decide to read it later. In the morning.
For now, I fill my giant, sunken tub, running the water lukewarm for the baby, but with bubbles so it’s still a little fun.
When I emerge, wrapped in my robe, I find milk and cookies on my bed side table, as well as a printed itinerary.
Heath says these are Liam’s favorite places. –Pete
It’s not until I wake up around 3 a.m. to use the restroom that I notice: Grey is gone.
* * *
An hour and a half later, I’ve checked almost the whole damn castle, so I’m pretty sure Gray is in Liam’s rooms. At least, I’m hoping he is.
I stand outside Liam’s door for the longest time, listening for noise, trying to see if he’s asleep. His big, thick door is slightly cracked, which makes me feel more sure Grey must be in there.
I guess whoever brought the paper itinerary and cookies must have let him out by accident. If they brought something to Liam at the same time—and left his door open—it makes sense that Grey might have run across the hall.
