by Anne Louise
Elizabeth was a realist and knew her place in society. Now that she was returning home, she was even more convinced that she would never see Darcy again. Georgiana and her might exchange a few letters, but Darcy would find another woman, likely a beautiful woman of the ton with wealth and a title.
But he told her they would meet before Christmas. Elizabeth was a mess of emotions but somehow managed to think of other things to keep this feeling in her stomach from growing worse.
Elizabeth had no way of knowing, but back at Pemberley, Darcy had many of her same thoughts. He looked at the large house and suddenly it was without the happiness he felt when she was there. In the evening he sat in the study in the candle light thinking of her dancing eyes that shown like diamonds at times and he wanted to hold her next to him and feel her heart beating next to his own. After she left for town he fell into a melancholy and turned inward. One evening Mrs. Reynolds observed him outside looking at the heavens.
“William, I see that you are appreciating our clear evening? The heavens are alive with stars.”
“It is very lovely, Mrs. Reynolds. All that is needed to make everything perfect is for Miss Bennet to be here.”
“So you do miss her after all?”
“Why, of course I do. I was never as happy in my life as I was when she was here. This place needs her and I need her if I am ever to be happy. I wonder how she and Georgiana got along?”
“There is nothing to worry about. By now they are good friends and Georgiana is hoping for a sister and I am looking for you both to be happy. Have you thought of how you are going to deal with this?”
“Yes, I constantly think of what I should do. That is why I asked her to give Georgiana my letter. I wanted them to meet.”
“When will you leave for town?”
“That will be in a few days, after Miss Bennet is settled back at her home.”
“And do you have a plan?”
“No, not exactly, but I will speak with Georgiana and later visit Mr. Gardiner at his warehouse. I also will speak with Mr. Bingley. He falls in love every season.”
Mrs. Reynolds chuckled. “Perhaps he is not be the best person to ask for advice?”
“That may be, but I want to ask him some general questions without mentioning Miss Bennet.”
“But he will be inquisitive and will want to learn more.”
“Of course, but if needed I will bring up Miss Bennet’s eldest sister, Jane Bennet. She is the supposed beauty of the family.”
“That is a plan. You can always see Miss Elizabeth in Hertfordshire, if not in town.”
“This is intelligence I can glean from Georgiana and Mr. Gardiner, but her immediate family would not take favorably to me inviting myself into their home.”
“Perhaps Mr. Gardiner could write to his brother?”
“Yes, Mrs. Reynolds, I may discuss these things with him.”
“Very well, William, I will leave you to your privacy this beautiful evening. And by the way, all the servants just love Miss Bennet and are already betting that you and her will marry.”
“Good night, Mrs. Reynolds, I will not remain outside too long.”
The longer Darcy looked at the sky, the more he thought of what life would be like with Elizabeth as his wife. After staying almost an hour longer, he left with a full heart and with a prayer that he might somehow make her love him.
That night as he lay awake, his only thoughts were of Elizabeth. He heard the sound of leaves rustling in the wind and thought of that day when he nearly drowned and how she later risked everything to find him. Now, as he tried to sleep, he could hear the sound of horses neighing and thought of her riding astride on Sampson and his great joy at seeing her. Never had he been more certain that he wanted her for his wife.
Darcy wondered what she was doing. She would likely still be at the Gardiner’s home, in bed and asleep, her chocolate curls brushed and the trusses hanging on her shoulders. Had she thought of him? What were her thoughts? He thought of the way she arched her eyebrows when she smiled and how she had a little up tilt to her lips whenever she asked him a question or teased him. Darcy loved her mannerisms and the way she locked her arm in his when they walked. Finding her and liking her was wonderful, but knowing she liked him thrilled him like nothing before. With her by his side, he would finally be happy.
He next put those thoughts aside. Soon enough he would be back at Darcy House and Georgiana would tell of her meeting with Elizabeth and he would rejoice or be depressed and he had no idea which emotion it would be, but once he thought of their kiss, he thought he knew the answer.
****
When Elizabeth arrived in Meryton, she was met by her father, who gave her a big hug as two men helped load her things onto the family carriage. After her father helped her into her seat, she took a deep breath.
“You must be exhausted, Lizzy? I do hope you enjoyed your travels, did you not?”
“It was a good time, that is for certain, but now I am almost home and it will be good to see all my family. What news do you have for me?”
“There is not a lot to report. We had a hot spell for a few days but our weather has been good. Your mother and sisters are the same, but Jane particularly misses you, as does Miss Lucas.”
“Oh, and I have missed Jane and Charlotte as well. You told me before I left that my younger sisters would drive you crazy, so at least that did not happen.”
“It is a wonder I am here and not locked up. Your youngest sisters are a source for much angst, but I have paid for Mary to have lessons. Already she has had three lessons and her playing is much improved. I do not know why I did not do this earlier. Anyway, your mother is even more obsessed about Jane and you marrying, fearing that you will all be thrown into the hedgerows after I die. Does she not know her actions are likely to hasten my demise?”
“Now, Papa, you must not get upset. Perhaps Mary will take a liking to her piano instructor.”
Mr. Bennet laughed. “He is a Mr. Harrison and he just recently completed university. This summer he is living with the Johnsons and your Aunt Phillips suggested he give Mary lessons.”
“You mean the family a few doors from Aunt Philips?”
“Yes, Lizzy, they are his aunt and uncle. Mary has changed her appearance and your mother is being overly attentive to the young man, and Mary and the man often walk in the gardens.”
“But you said there was no news to report? This is good news, I think. Well, at least it is promising news. Perhaps it will take some pressure off of Jane and myself to find husbands.”
“No, your mother will be more emboldened. Already she is eager to know if you have met any prospects.”
“Then she will be disappointed, for I cannot report that I have any offers forthcoming. Papa, I am not so old that I cannot wait a few years.”
“Try telling her these things if you must, but beware of her response. Jane can hardly wait to visit with the Gardiners. They want her to come within a fortnight, and stay a month. That would give her a respite, but you will be her target after that.”
“Tis true, Papa, but I shall survive.”
After they arrived back at Longbourn, Elizabeth was greeted by the others who asked about her trip. She made small talk, but once her mother began questioning if she had found a husband, Elizabeth feigned a headache and went to her room to rest. Elizabeth felt fortunate to escape to her room and avoid her mother. There would be other times when her mother would ask her of her trip, but she just wanted to talk with Jane, though it was not her intention to tell about her new friends. She did tell of their journey and where they visited, but only spoke of visiting Pemberley at the end of her talk.
Minutes later Jane came to visit. “You do not really have a headache, do you, Lizzy?”
“I would have one if I had to listen to mama like you have since I was gone.”
“Lizzy, you were rather short with mother. Was there a reason?”
“Papa warned me that she would ask if I had foun
d a husband whilst I was away. I did not want to face her scrutiny after just setting foot back home. He did say that you are eager to visit with the Gardiners.”
“So father has told you? She is still obsessed for us to marry.”
“And Mary may be the first?”
“I hope so, Lizzy. Mary is quite taken in by the man and she is suddenly fashion conscious and is quite pretty with her new style. Oh yes, Lizzy, mother is certain to ratchet things up now that you have returned.”
“Jane, I would think that she would calm down since Mary has a gentleman friend.”
“No, Lizzy, I am not certain she believes there is much to Mary and this man. She cannot understand that Mary could attract any man.”
“Then I shall have to watch them, Jane. I suppose you sometimes accompanied them in their walks in the gardens?”
“Yes, Lizzy, but most of the time either Kitty or Lydia walked with them. Kitty is most responsible for helping Mary improve her appearance.”
“I should have been more observant, Jane. Later I need to talk with both Kitty and Mary.”
After dinner, Elizabeth noticed Mary talking with Kitty and they were perusing stories that Kitty had saved from the newspaper society and fashion sections. Elizabeth joined them and soon saw stories written about London’s most elusive bachelor. Her face turned crimson when she read that the man was Fitzwilliam Darcy, of Derbyshire. As she read the stories she could feel his presence and felt a throbbing in her heart, but she did not tell the others that she knew the man. Instead, she tried to remain calm.
“Kitty, I am pleased that you have helped Mary with her new hair style, and Mary, you look like a new young woman, and I like your hair. Kitty, your hobby is paying off handsomely.”
“Thank you, Lizzy, but I always knew Mary was pretty and I only helped show off her good looks with some hair style changes and a few wardrobe changes. Lydia has behaved badly toward Mary and has been very immature and insults her when her friend visits.”
“Have you told mama?”
“No, Lizzy, you know that Lydia is her favourite, but I am closer in age to Mary than to Lydia.”
“Yes, Kitty, that is true but you are only closer to Mary by a month.”
“True, but let Lydia get her satisfaction from mama. She has to learn that she is not the center of the universe.”
After dinner Jane observed Elizabeth staring at a story about Mr. Darcy and visited her sister before bed, at which time Elizabeth told of her visit at Pemberley. She had not prepared to discuss these things but reading those stories about Darcy had her in a state of discomfiture.
“No wonder you are not yourself, Lizzy. I believe you are I love with the man. You must believe that such an alliance is impossible, do you not?”
“That part is true. He is far above our sphere and could ever entertain marrying a gentle farmer’s daughter from Hertfordshire.”
“So you say, Lizzy, but one cannot be certain. You read Kitty’s society stories about the man. It seems as if he is very different from the man portrayed in the papers. You should not dismiss what you believe are his true intentions. There is another thing, the Gardiners know of the man and did not tell you. I believe they want you both to marry.”
“Jane, I do not know what his or the Gardiners’ intentions are.”
“You are in the middle of a great romance and cannot believe such a thing is happening, but it is. He wanted you to meet his sister and you have said she is to be a good friend. She will write to you later. Also, her uncle was interested in meeting you and Mr. Darcy told you that he will likely ride to Hertfordshire to see you.”
“He did say those things, Jane. I suppose that I should believe him.”
“Yes, this is more like the Lizzy that I know. There is no need to worry.”
Jane’s words brought tears to her sister. “I am sorry Jane, but I am just a watering pot and cannot help myself.”
“No, sister, you are in love with the man and he is in love with you. No worry, this will be our secret. I am certain to learn more whilst I am in town. Perhaps I can meet Miss Darcy or even her brother?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath and relaxed. “It does not matter all that much if he does not truly love me. The truth is, because of him, I have experienced love for the first time.”
“How does it feel, Lizzy?”
“Jane, the man is mostly all I can think of, and his sister as well. His kisses brought stirrings to my body and such dreams that I will not discuss. I do know that I am in danger around the man and must be careful, less I become a wanton woman. I do desire him that way.”
“Lizzy, throw some cold water on your face when you start to have such feelings. Be yourself and use your good judgement. You do not have to be intimate with the man until you are married. Now I must leave, but we can talk later.”
Once Jane left for her room, Elizabeth grabbed a book and started to read. There was no way she could sleep after her long day, but sleep finally came after Elizabeth caught herself staring at her book and it fell from her hands.
The morning light filtered though the leaves and danced on the walls of her room, but Elizabeth did not wake until she heard Mrs. Hill at her door.
“Miss Elizabeth, breakfast will be served in fifteen minutes. Should I tell the others that you will join them?”
“Yes, please tell them I will join them, and thank you Mrs. Hill.”
Breakfast was hectic but not because Elizabeth had returned. Lydia was acting up and mad at Kitty and Mary and Mrs. Bennet was siding with them causing Lydia to leave and run to her room, but not before she told Elizabeth that she wished she had never returned to Longbourn. That prompted Mr. Bennet to call her to his library for a discussion. Minutes later she came in and apologized but next left for her room.
Elizabeth wanted to escape the house and get in a long walk and asked her father if he would wait until later for their talk. His only reply was to chuckle and tell her to be careful.
He was surprised that she did not waken early for her walk, but after some thought he understood she was exhausted. He would not rush their talk until she was comfortable and he would wait for her to come to his library. His Lizzy was his favourite daughter and she could tell him things knowing that he would keep her counsel. Even so, she was not ready to divulge details of meeting Darcy.
The day was warm and a gentle breeze brushed her face as she set off for Oakham Mount. Her legs moved swiftly as she extended the distance between herself and her home until it was out of sight.
Now her thoughts returned to the man who had captured her heart, and she wondered why he never mentioned that he was looked upon as one of the country’s most sought after bachelors. She thought of his kisses and of his smiles and wondered how many other women he had kissed.
Though she tried to remain upbeat, she felt anxious and thought Darcy had forgotten her. At this point she was halfway to her destination when the wind blew out of the North and she had to grab hold of her bonnet and steady herself to keep from falling. Suddenly it had turned colder and just as sudden she made the decision to return home. Though she felt chilled, she also felt a full blush as she recalled that night she and Sampson found him in the shelter house.
Now she thought of how bizarre that night was and of his smile and that they shared something together. That night they bonded and became one in spirit and she knew that he was the only man she would ever love. Just those few thoughts had turned her feelings around and she began to giggle through her happy tears. This love business is harder than I thought. Mr. Darcy, you are now free to come and join me on one of my rambles. Please do come and kiss me?
The next day Elizabeth visited with her good friend, Charlotte Lucas, and they caught up on things. It did not take long for Charlotte to see that something was bothering her friend. She did not bring up Elizabeth’s melancholy but let her tell about the trip until she finally had things figured out.
“Lizzy, we have been friends for a long time, but I do bel
ieve you have gone off and fallen in love with the man. Now tell me if I am wrong?”
Elizabeth did not come right out and say she loved the man, but she brought up her visit and her making these new friends with the man and his sister and told of her return home only to learn that her mother was still insisting that she and Jane marry right away.
“Well, Lizzy, I believe your mother’s obsession with you and Jane marrying is not helping your situation, but that will not be a problem if you love the man and you marry.”
“But it will be a problem, Charlotte. Mama will scare the man away and any other man that is interested in her daughters. I do hope you can meet Mr. Darcy and his sister soon. You will be pleased with both of them.”
“Wait, Lizzy, he is the man that is covered in The Times and some of the other papers. I have read of him in the social section of the paper. This is like a fairy tale romance and you should be giddy, but you come here today gloomy. This is not the Lizzy I know.”
“Now that is something we can agree on. Sometimes I wish I had never gone to see Pemberley, I have spent this time and energy in building up my hopes for the man and yet I am just setting myself up for disappointment. He would never accept me for a wife, not the daughter of a country gentleman farmer. What would the papers say? No, it is my fault that I am in this mess. Do you know what it is like to think about someone nearly every moment and worry yourself sick and stay up late without sleep?”
“I can quite imagine that falling in love with such a man would be difficult, but Lizzy, the stories of the man make him out to be a man who is often chased by the women of the Ton, but he has never been caught. You have caught him, Lizzy, and it just happens that you are both very right for each other. Now you watch, he will come for you when you least expect it, and your heart will be assuaged. And Lizzy, please have him bring a handsome, rich friend to take me away on a white horse.”
The friends visited a little longer before Elizabeth returned to Longbourn, but she felt better after speaking with her friend.
