by abbé Prévost
IV
Now, by the strange enchantment that surrounds thee, There's nothing--nothing thou shalt ask in vain. ESSEX.
"While in my confinement Tiberge came one day to see me. I wassurprised at the affectionate joy with which he saluted me. I hadnever, hitherto, observed any peculiar warmth in his friendship thatcould lead me to look upon it as anything more than the partialitycommon among boys of the same age. He was so altered, and had grown somanly during the five or six months since I had last seen him, that hisexpressive features and his manner of addressing me inspired me with afeeling of respect. He spoke more in the character of a mentor than aschoolfellow, lamented the delusion into which I had fallen,congratulated me on my reformation, which he believed was now sincere,and ended by exhorting me to profit by my youthful error, and open myeyes to the vanity of worldly pleasures. I looked at him with someastonishment, which he at once perceived.
"'My dear chevalier,' said he to me, 'you shall hear nothing but thestrict truth, of which I have assured myself by the most seriousexamination. I had, perhaps, as strong an inclination for pleasure asyou, but Heaven had at the same time, in its mercy, blessed me with ataste for virtue. I exercised my reason in comparing the consequencesof the one with those of the other, and the divine aid was graciouslyvouchsafed to my reflections. I conceived for the world a contemptwhich nothing can equal. Can you guess what it is retains me in itnow,' he added, 'and that prevents me from embracing a life ofsolitude? Simply the sincere friendship I bear towards you. I knowthe excellent qualities of both your heart and head. There is no goodof which you may not render yourself capable. The blandishments ofpleasure have momentarily drawn you aside. What detriment to thesacred cause of virtue! Your flight from Amiens gave me such intensesorrow, that I have not since known a moment's happiness. You may judgeof this by the steps it induced me to take.' He then told me how,after discovering that I had deceived him, and gone off with mymistress, he procured horses for the purpose of pursuing me, but havingthe start of him by four or five hours, he found it impossible toovertake me; that he arrived, however, at St. Denis half an hour afterI had left it; that, being very sure that I must have stopped in Paris,he spent six weeks there in a fruitless endeavour to discoverme--visiting every place where he thought he should be likely to meetme, and that one evening he at length recognised my mistress at theplay, where she was so gorgeously dressed, that he of course set itdown to the account of some new lover; that he had followed herequipage to her house, and had there learned from a servant that shewas entertained in this style by M. de B----. 'I did not stop here,'continued he; 'I returned next day to the house, to learn from her ownlips what had become of you. She turned abruptly away when she heardthe mention of your name, and I was obliged to return into the countrywithout further information. I there learned the particulars of youradventure, and the extreme annoyance she had caused you; but I wasunwilling to visit you until I could have assurance of your being in amore tranquil state.'
"'You have seen Manon then!' cried I, sighing. 'Alas! you are happierthan I, who am doomed never again to behold her.' He rebuked me forthis sigh, which still showed my weakness for the perfidious girl. Heflattered me so adroitly upon the goodness of my mind and disposition,that he really inspired me, even on this first visit, with a stronginclination to renounce, as he had done, the pleasures of the world,and enter at once into holy orders.
"The idea was so suited to my present frame of mind, that when alone Ithought of nothing else. I remembered the words of the Bishop ofAmiens, who had given me the same advice, and thought only of thehappiness which he predicted would result from my adoption of such acourse. Piety itself took part in these suggestions. 'I shall lead aholy and a Christian life,' said I; 'I shall divide my time betweenstudy and religion, which will allow me no leisure for the perilouspleasures of love. I shall despise that which men ordinarily admire;and as I am conscious that my heart will desire nothing but what it canesteem, my cares will not be greater or more numerous than my wants andwishes.'
"I thereupon pictured to myself in anticipation a course of lifepeaceful and retired. I fancied a retreat embosomed in a wood, with alimpid stream of running water bounding my garden; a library,comprising the most select works; a limited circle of friends, virtuousand intellectual; a table neatly served, but frugal and temperate. Toall these agremens I added a literary correspondence with a friendwhose residence should be in Paris, who should give me occasionalinformation upon public affairs, less for the gratification of mycuriosity, than to afford a kind of relaxation by hearing of andlamenting the busy follies of men. 'Shall not I be happy?' added I;'will not my utmost wishes be thus gratified?' This project flatteredmy inclinations extremely. But after all the details of this mostadmirable and prudent plan, I felt that my heart still yearned forsomething; and that in order to leave nothing to desire in this mostenchanting retirement, one ought to be able to share it with Manon.
"However, Tiberge continuing to pay me frequent visits in order tostrengthen me in the purpose with which he had inspired me, I took anopportunity of opening the subject to my father. He declared that hisintention ever was to leave his children free to choose a profession,and that in whatever manner I should dispose of myself, all he wishedto reserve was the right of aiding me with his counsel. On thisoccasion he gave me some of the wisest, which tended less to divert mefrom my project, than to convince me of my good father's sound judgmentand discretion.
"The recommencement of the scholastic year being at hand, Tiberge and Iagreed to enter ourselves together at St. Sulpice, he to pursue histheological studies, and I to begin mine. His merits, which were notunknown to the bishop of the diocese, procured him the promise of aliving from that prelate before our departure.
"My father, thinking me quite cured of my passion, made no objection tomy taking final leave. We arrived at Paris. The Cross of Malta gaveplace to the ecclesiastical habit, and the designation of the Abb? deGrieux was substituted for that of chevalier. I applied so diligentlyto study, that in a few months I had made extraordinary progress. Inever lost a moment of the day, and employed even part of the night. Isoon acquired such a reputation, that I was already congratulated uponthe honours which I was sure of obtaining; and, without solicitation onmy part, my name was inscribed on the list for a vacant benefice.Piety was by no means neglected, and I entered with ardent devotioninto all the exercises of religion. Tiberge was proud of what heconsidered the work of his own hands, and many a time have I seen himshed tears of delight in noticing what he styled my perfect conversion.
"It has never been matter of wonder to me that human resolutions areliable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may destroythem; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those motives that ledme to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt satisfaction I enjoyed whileobeying their dictation, I shudder at the facility with which Ioutraged them all. If it be true that the benign succour afforded byHeaven is at all times equal to the strongest of man's pinions, I shallbe glad to learn the nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causesus suddenly to swerve from the path of duty, without the power ofoffering the least resistance, and without even the slightestvisitation of remorse.
"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. Ifancied that I could have preferred a single page of St. Augustine, ora quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to every sensualgratification, not excepting any that I might have derived even fromManon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky moment plunged me againheadlong into the gulf; and my ruin was the more irreparable, because,falling at once to the same depth from whence I had been beforerescued, each of the new disorders into which I now lapsed carried medeeper and deeper still down the profound abyss of vice. I had passednearly a year at Paris without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slighteffort to abstain from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice ofTiberge, and my own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes.The last months glided away so tranquilly, that I c
onsidered the memoryof this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned toeternal oblivion.
"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in theclass of theology: I invited several persons of consideration tohonour me with their presence on the occasion. My name was mentioned inevery quarter of Paris: it even reached the ears of her who hadbetrayed me. She had some difficulty in recognising it with the prefixof Abb?; but curiosity, or perhaps remorse for having been faithless tome (I could never after ascertain by which of these feelings she wasactuated), made her at once take an interest in a name so like mine;and she came with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she waspresent at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble inrecognising my person.
"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well knownthat in these places there are private seats for ladies, where theyremain screened by a curtain. I returned to St. Sulpice covered withhonours and congratulations. It was six in the evening. The moment Ireturned, a lady was announced, who desired to speak with me. I wentto meet her. Heavens! what a surprise!
"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and brilliantthan I had ever beheld her. She was now in her eighteenth year. Herbeauty beggars all description. The exquisite grace of her form, themild sweetness of expression that animated her features, and herengaging air, made her seem the very personification of love. Thevision was something too perfect for human beauty.
"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine theobject of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast looks untilshe explained herself. At first, her embarrassment was equal to mine;but, seeing that I was not disposed to break silence, she raised herhand to her eyes to conceal a starting tear, and then, in a timid tone,said that she well knew she had justly earned my abhorrence by herinfidelity; but that if I had ever really felt any love for her, therewas not much kindness in allowing two long years to pass withoutenquiring after her, and as little now in seeing her in the state ofmental distress in which she was, without condescending to bestow uponher a single word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelingswere as I listened to this reproof.
"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half turnedaside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I severaltimes commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At length I madean effort, and in a tone of poignant grief exclaimed: 'PerfidiousManon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' She had no wish, she repeatedwith a flood of tears, to attempt to justify her infidelity. 'What isyour wish, then?' cried I. 'I wish to die,' she answered, 'if you willnot give me back that heart, without which it is impossible to endurelife.' 'Take my life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vainendeavouring to restrain my tears; 'take my life also! it is the solesacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has never ceased tobe thine.'
"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport of joy,and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a thousand caresses.She addressed me by all the endearing appellations with which lovesupplies his votaries, to enable them to express the most passionatefondness. I still answered with affected coldness; but the suddentransition from a state of quietude, such as that I had up to thismoment enjoyed, to the agitation and tumult which were now kindled inmy breast and tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind ofhorror, and impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergosome great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence.
"We sat down close by each other. I took her hand within mine, 'Ah!Manon,' said I, with a look of sorrow, 'I little thought that love likemine could have been repaid with treachery! It was a poor triumph tobetray a heart of which you were the absolute mistress--whose solehappiness it was to gratify and obey you. Tell me if among others youhave found any so affectionate and so devoted? No, no! I believenature has cast few hearts in the same mould as mine. Tell me at leastwhether you have ever thought of me with regret! Can I have anyreliance on the duration of the feeling that has brought you back to metoday? I perceive too plainly that you are infinitely lovelier thanever: but I conjure you by all my past sufferings, dearest Manon, totell me--can you in future be more faithful?'
"She gave me in reply such tender assurances of her repentance, andpledged her fidelity with such solemn protestations and vows, that Iwas inexpressibly affected. 'Beauteous Manon,' said I, with rather aprofane mixture of amorous and theological expressions, 'you are tooadorable for a created being. I feel my heart transported withtriumphant rapture. It is folly to talk of liberty at St. Sulpice.Fortune and reputation are but slight sacrifices at such a shrine! Iplainly foresee it: I can read my destiny in your bright eyes; but whatabundant recompense shall I not find in your affections for any loss Imay sustain! The favours of fortune have no influence over me: fameitself appears to me but a mockery; all my projects of a holy life werewild absurdities: in fact, any joys but those I may hope for at yourside are fit objects of contempt. There are none that would not vanishinto worthlessness before one single glance of thine!'
"In promising her, however, a full remission of her past frailties, Ienquired how she permitted herself to be led astray by B----. Sheinformed me that having seen her at her window, he became passionatelyin love with her; that he made his advances in the true style of amercantile cit;--that is to say, by giving her to understand in hisletter, that his payments would be proportioned to her favours; thatshe had admitted his overtures at first with no other intention thanthat of getting from him such a sum as might enable us to live withoutinconvenience; but that he had so bewildered her with splendidpromises, that she allowed herself to be misled by degrees. She added,that I ought to have formed some notion of the remorse she experienced,by her grief on the night of our separation; and assured me that, inspite of the splendour in which he maintained her, she had never knowna moment's happiness with him, not only, she said, because he wasutterly devoid of that delicacy of sentiment and of those agreeablemanners which I possessed, but because even in the midst of theamusements which he unceasingly procured her, she could never shake offthe recollection of my love, or her own ingratitude. She then spoke ofTiberge, and the extreme embarrassment his visit caused her. 'Adagger's point,' she added, 'could not have struck more terror to myheart. I turned from him, unable to sustain the interview for amoment.'
"She continued to inform me how she had been apprised of my residenceat Paris, of the change in my condition, and of her witnessing myexamination at the Sorbonne. She told me how agitated she had beenduring my intellectual conflict with the examiner; what difficulty shefelt in restraining her tears as well as her sighs, which were morethan once on the point of spurning all control, and bursting forth;that she was the last person to leave the hall of examination, for fearof betraying her distress, and that, following only the instinct of herown heart, and her ardent desires, she came direct to the seminary,with the firm resolution of surrendering life itself, if she found mecruel enough to withhold my forgiveness.
"Could any savage remain unmoved by such proofs of cordial repentanceas those I had just witnessed? For my part, I felt at the moment thatI could gladly have given up all the bishoprics in Christendom forManon. I asked what course she would recommend in our presentemergency. 'It is requisite,' she replied, 'at all events, to quit theseminary, and settle in some safer place.' I consented to everythingshe proposed. She got into her carriage to go and wait for me at thecorner of the street. I escaped the next moment, without attractingthe porter's notice. I entered the carriage, and we drove off to aJew's. I there resumed my lay-dress and sword. Manon furnished thesupplies, for I was without a sou, and fearing that I might meet withsome new impediment, she would not consent to my returning to my roomat St. Sulpice for my purse. My finances were in truth wretchedly low,and hers more than sufficiently enriched by the liberality of M. deB---- to make her think lightly of my loss. We consulted together atthe Jew's as to the course we should now adopt.
"In
order to enhance the sacrifice she had made for me of her latelover, she determined to treat him without the least ceremony. 'Ishall leave him all his furniture,' she said; 'it belongs to him: but Ishall assuredly carry off, as I have a right to do, the jewels, andabout sixty thousand francs, which I have had from him in the last twoyears. I have given him no control over me,' she added, 'so that wemay remain without apprehension in Paris, taking a convenient house,where we shall live, oh how happily together!'
"I represented to her that, although there might be no danger for her,there was a great deal for me, who must be sooner or later infalliblyrecognised, and continually exposed to a repetition of the trials I hadbefore endured. She gave me to understand that she could not quitParis without regret. I had such a dread of giving her annoyance, thatthere were no risks I would not have encountered for her sake.However, we compromised matters by resolving to take a house in somevillage near Paris, from whence it would be easy for us to come intotown whenever pleasure or business required it. We fixed on Chaillot,which is at a convenient distance. Manon at once returned to herhouse, and I went to wait for her at a side-gate of the garden of theTuileries.
"She returned an hour after, in a hired carriage, with a servant-maid,and several trunks, which contained her dresses, and everything she hadof value.
"We were not long on our way to Chaillot. We lodged the first night atthe inn, in order to have time to find a suitable house, or at least acommodious lodging. We found one to our taste the next morning.
"My happiness now appeared to be secured beyond the reach of fate.Manon was everything most sweet and amiable. She was so delicate andso unceasing in her attentions to me, that I deemed myself but toobountifully rewarded for all my past troubles. As we had both, by thistime, acquired some experience, we discussed rationally the state ofour finances. Sixty thousand francs (the amount of our wealth) was nota sum that could be expected to last our whole life; besides, we wereneither of us much disposed to control our expenses. Manon's chiefvirtue assuredly was not economy, any more than it was mine. This wasmy proposition. 'Sixty thousand francs,' said I, 'may support us forten years. Two thousand crowns a year will suffice, if we continue tolive at Chaillot. We shall keep up appearances, but live frugally. Ouronly expense will be occasionally a carriage, and the theatres. Weshall do everything in moderation. You like the opera; we shall gotwice a week, in the season. As for play, we shall limit ourselves; sothat our losses must never exceed three crowns. It is impossible butthat in the space of ten years some change must occur in my family: myfather is even now of an advanced age; he may die; in which event Imust inherit a fortune, and we shall then be above all other fears.'
"This arrangement would not have been by any means the most silly actof my life, if we had only been prudent enough to persevere in itsexecution; but our resolutions hardly lasted longer than a month.Manon's passion was for amusement; she was the only object of mine.New temptations to expense constantly presented themselves, and farfrom regretting the money which she sometimes prodigally lavished, Iwas the first to procure for her everything likely to afford herpleasure. Our residence at Chaillot began even to appear tiresome.
"Winter was approaching, and the whole world returning to town; thecountry had a deserted look. She proposed to me to take a house inParis. I did not approve of this; but, in order partly at least tosatisfy her, I said that we might hire furnished apartments, and thatwe might sleep there whenever we were late in quitting the assembly,whither we often went; for the inconvenience of returning so late toChaillot was her excuse for wishing to leave it. We had thus twodwellings, one in town and the other in the country. This change soonthrew our affairs into confusion, and led to two adventures, whicheventually caused our ruin.
"Manon had a brother in the Guards. He unfortunately lived in the verystreet in which we had taken lodgings. He one day recognised hissister at the window, and hastened over to us. He was a fellow of therudest manners, and without the slightest principle of honour. Heentered the room swearing in the most horrible way; and as he knew partof his sister's history, he loaded her with abuse and reproaches.
"I had gone out the moment before, which was doubtless fortunate foreither him or me, for I was little disposed to brook an insult. I onlyreturned to the lodgings after he had left them. The low spirits inwhich I found Manon convinced me at once that something extraordinaryhad occurred. She told me of the provoking scene she had just gonethrough, and of the brutal threats of her brother. I felt suchindignation, that I wished to proceed at once to avenge her, when sheentreated me with tears to desist.
"While we were still talking of the adventure, the guardsman againentered the room in which we sat, without even waiting to be announced.Had I known him, he should not have met from me as civil a reception ashe did; but saluting us with a smile upon his countenance, he addressedhimself to Manon, and said, he was come to make excuses for hisviolence; that he had supposed her to be living a life of shame anddisgrace, and it was this notion that excited his rage; but havingsince made enquiry from one of our servants, he had learned such acharacter of me, that his only wish was now to be on terms with us both.
"Although this admission, of having gone for information to one of myown servants, had in it something ludicrous as well as indelicate, Iacknowledged his compliments with civility, I thought by doing so toplease Manon, and I was not deceived--she was delighted at thereconciliation. We made him stay to dine with us.
"In a little time he became so familiar, that hearing us speak of ourreturn to Chaillot, he insisted on accompanying us. We were obliged togive him a seat in our carriage. This was in fact putting him intopossession, for he soon began to feel so much pleasure in our company,that he made our house his home, and made himself in some measuremaster of all that belonged to us. He called me his brother, and,under the semblance of fraternal freedom, he put himself on such afooting as to introduce all his friends without ceremony into our houseat Chaillot, and there entertain them at our expense. His magnificentuniforms were procured of my tailor and charged to me, and he evencontrived to make Manon and me responsible for all his debts. Ipretended to be blind to this system of tyranny, rather than annoyManon, and even to take no notice of the sums of money which from timeto time he received from her. No doubt, as he played very deep, he washonest enough to repay her a part sometimes, when luck turned in hisfavour; but our finances were utterly inadequate to supply, for anylength of time, demands of such magnitude and frequency.
"I was on the point of coming to an understanding with him, in order toput an end to the system, when an unfortunate accident saved me thattrouble, by involving us in inextricable ruin.
"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed becomeour constant habit. The servant-maid who on such occasions remainedalone at Chaillot, came early the next morning to inform me that ourhouse had taken fire in the night, and that the flames had beenextinguished with great difficulty. I asked whether the furniture hadsuffered. She answered, that there had been such confusion, owing tothe multitude of strangers who came to offer assistance, that she couldhardly ascertain what damage had been done. I was principally uneasyabout our money, which had been locked up in a little box. I went offin haste to Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared!
"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. Thisloss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of my mind. Isaw at one glance to what new calamities I should be exposed: povertywas the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; I had already hadabundant proof that, although faithful and attached to me under happiercircumstances, she could not be depended upon in want: pleasure andplenty she loved too well to sacrifice them for my sake. 'I shall loseher!' I cried; 'miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose allthat you love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degreethat I actually for some moments considered whether it would not bebest for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I howeverpreserved presence of m
ind enough to reflect whether I was entirelywithout resource, and an idea occurred to me which quieted my despair.It would not be impossible, I thought, to conceal our loss from Manon;and I might perhaps discover some ways and means of supplying her, soas to ward off the inconveniences of poverty.
"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twentythousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that these tenyears had now elapsed, and that none of the events which I had lookedfor in my family had occurred. What then would have been my course? Ihardly know; but whatever I should then have done, why may I not donow? How many are there in Paris, who have neither my talents, nor thenatural advantages I possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe theirsupport to the exercise of their talents, such as they are?
"'Has not Providence,' I added, while reflecting on the differentconditions of life, 'arranged things wisely?' The greater number ofthe powerful and the rich are fools. No one who knows anything of theworld can doubt that. How admirable is the compensating justicethereof! If wealth brought with it talent also, the rich would be toohappy, and other men too wretched. To these latter are given personaladvantages and genius, to help them out of misery and want. Some ofthem share the riches of the wealthy by administering to theirpleasures, or by making them their dupes; others afford theminstruction, and endeavour to make them decent members of society; tobe sure, they do not always succeed; but that was probably not theintention of the divine wisdom. In every case they derive a benefitfrom their labours by living at the expense of their pupils; and, inwhatever point of view it is considered, the follies of the rich are abountiful source of revenue to the humbler classes.
"These thoughts restored me a little to my spirits and to my reason. Idetermined first to consult M. Lescaut, the brother of Manon. He knewParis perfectly; and I had too many opportunities of learning that itwas neither from his own estates, nor from the king's pay, that hederived the principal portion of his income. I had about thirty-threecrowns left, which I fortunately happened to have about me. I showedhim my purse, and explained to him my misfortune and my fears, and thenasked him whether I had any alternative between starvation and blowingout my brains in despair. He coolly replied that suicide was theresource of fools. As to dying of want, there were hundreds of men ofgenius who found themselves reduced to that state when they would notemploy their talents; that it was for myself to discover what I wascapable of doing, and he told me to reckon upon his assistance and hisadvice in any enterprise I might undertake.
"'Vague enough, M. Lescaut!' said I to him: 'my wants demand a morespeedy remedy; for what am I to say to Manon?' 'Apropos of Manon,'replied he, 'what is it that annoys you about her? Cannot you alwaysfind in her wherewithal to meet your wants, when you wish it? Such aperson ought to support us all, you and me as well as herself.' He cutshort the answer which I was about to give to such unfeeling and brutalimpertinence, by going on to say, that before night he would ensure mea thousand crowns to divide between us, if I would only follow hisadvice; that he was acquainted with a nobleman, who was so liberal inaffairs of the kind, that he was certain he would not hesitate for amoment to give the sum named for the favours of such a girl as Manon.
"I stopped him. 'I had a better opinion of you,' said I; 'I hadimagined that your motive for bestowing your friendship upon me wasvery different indeed from the one you now betray.' With the greatesteffrontery he acknowledged that he had been always of the same mind,and that his sister having once sacrificed her virtue, though it mightbe to the man she most loved, he would never have consented to areconciliation with her, but with the hope of deriving some advantagefrom her past misconduct.
"It was easy to see that we had been hitherto his dupes.Notwithstanding the disgust with which his proposition inspired me,still, as I felt that I had occasion for his services, I said, withapparent complacency, that we ought only to entertain such a plan as alast resource. I begged of him to suggest some other.
"He proposed to me to turn my youth and the good looks nature hadbestowed upon me to some account, by establishing a liaison with somegenerous old dame. This was just as little to my taste, for it wouldnecessarily have rendered me unfaithful to Manon.
"I mentioned play as the easiest scheme, and the most suitable to mypresent situation. He admitted that play certainly was a resource, butthat it was necessary to consider the point well. 'Mere play,' said he,'with its ordinary chances, is the certain road to ruin; and as forattempting, alone and without an ally, to employ the little means anadroit man has for correcting the vagaries of luck, it would be toodangerous an experiment.' There was, he stated, a third course, whichwas to enter into what he called a partnership; but he feared hisconfederates would consider my youth an objection to my admittance.He, however, promised to use his influence with them; and, what wasmore than I expected at his hands, he said that he would supply me witha little money whenever I had pressing occasion for any. The onlyfavour I then asked of him was to say nothing to Manon of the loss Ihad experienced, nor of the subject of our conversation.
"I certainly derived little comfort from my visit to Lescaut; I felteven sorry for having confided my secret to him: not a single thing hadhe done for me that I might not just as well have done for myself,without troubling him; and I could not help dreading that he wouldviolate his promise to keep the secret from Manon. I had also reasonto apprehend, from his late avowals, that he might form the design ofmaking use of her for his own vile purposes, or at least of advisingher to quit me for some happier and more wealthy lover. This ideabrought in its train a thousand reflections, which had no other effectthan to torment me, and throw me again into the state of despair inwhich I had passed the morning. It occurred to me, more than once, towrite to my father; and to pretend a new reformation, in order toobtain some pecuniary assistance from him; but I could not forget that,notwithstanding all his natural love and affection for me, he had shutme up for six months in a confined room for my first transgression; andI was certain that, after the scandalous sensation caused by my flightfrom St. Sulpice, he would be sure to treat me with infinitely morerigour now.
"At length, out of this chaos of fancies came an idea that all at oncerestored ease to my mind, and which I was surprised at not having hitupon sooner; this was, to go again to my friend Tiberge, in whom Imight be always sure of finding the same unfailing zeal and friendship.There is nothing more glorious--nothing that does more honour to truevirtue, than the confidence with which one approaches a friend of triedintegrity; no apprehension, no risk of unkind repulse: if it be notalways in his power to afford the required succour, one is sure atleast of meeting kindness and compassion. The heart of the poorsupplicant, which remains impenetrably closed to the rest of the world,opens in his presence, as a flower expands before the orb of day, fromwhich it instinctively knows it can derive a cheering and benigninfluence only.
"I consider it a blessing to have thought so apropos of Tiberge, andresolved to take measures to find him before evening. I returned atonce to my lodgings to write him a line, and fix a convenient place forour meeting. I requested secrecy and discretion, as the most importantservice he could render me under present circumstances.
"The pleasure I derived from the prospect of seeing Tiberge dissipatedevery trace of melancholy, which Manon would not have failed otherwiseto detect in my countenance. I described our misfortune at Chaillot asa trifle which ought not to annoy her; and Paris being the spot sheliked best in the world, she was not sorry to hear me say that it wouldbe necessary for us to remain there entirely, until the little damagewas repaired which had been caused by the fire at Chaillot.
"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to be atthe appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I certainly feltsome shame at encountering a friend whose presence alone ought to be areproach to my iniquities; but I was supported by the opinion I had ofthe goodness of his heart, as well as by my anxiety about Manon.
"I had begged of him to meet me in the
garden of the Palais Royal. Hewas there before me. He hastened towards me, the moment he saw meapproach and shook me warmly by both hands. I said that I could nothelp feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, and that I was weighed downby a sense of my ingratitude; that the first thing I implored of himwas to tell me whether I might still consider him my friend, afterhaving so justly incurred the loss of his esteem and affection. Hereplied, in the kindest possible manner, that it was not in the natureof things to destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or,if he might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had butincreased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess hisaffection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest sorrow,such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a beloved object onthe brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his assistance.
"We sat down upon a bench. 'Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, 'yourcompassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you assure me itis equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to recount them, for Iconfess they have been brought on by no very creditable course ofconduct: the results, however, are so truly melancholy, that a friendeven less attached than you would be affected by the recital.'
"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, withoutany disguise, all that had occurred to me since my departure from St.Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from concealing anything, orattempting to extenuate my faults, I spoke of my passion with all theardour with which it still inspired me. I represented it to him as oneof those especial visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victimto his ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist,as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most vividcolours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in which I hadbeen two hours before I saw him, and into which I should be againplunged, if I found my friends as relentless as fate had been. I atlength made such an impression upon poor Tiberge, that I saw he was asmuch affected by compassion, as I by the recollection of my sufferings.
"He took my hand, and exhorted me to have courage and be comforted;but, as he seemed to consider it settled that Manon and I were toseparate, I gave him at once to understand that it was that veryseparation I considered as the most intolerable of all my misfortunes;and that I was ready to endure not only the last degree of misery, butdeath itself, of the cruellest kind, rather than seek relief in aremedy worse than the whole accumulation of my woes.
"'Explain yourself, then,' said he to me; 'what assistance can I affordyou, if you reject everything I propose?' I had not courage to tellhim that it was from his purse I wanted relief. He, however,comprehended it in the end; and acknowledging that he believed he nowunderstood me, he remained for a moment in an attitude of thought, withthe air of a person revolving something in his mind. 'Do not imagine,'he presently said, 'that my hesitation arises from any diminution of myzeal and friendship; but to what an alternative do you now reduce me,since I must either refuse you the assistance you ask, or violate mymost sacred duty in affording it! For is it not participating in yoursin to furnish you with the means of continuing its indulgence?'
"'However,' continued he, after a moment's thought, 'it is perhaps theexcited state into which want has thrown you, that denies you now theliberty of choosing the proper path. Man's mind must be at rest, toknow the luxury of wisdom and virtue. I can afford to let you havesome money; and permit me, my dear chevalier, to impose but onecondition; that is, that you let me know the place of your abode, andallow me the opportunity of using my exertions to reclaim you. I knowthat there is in your heart a love of virtue, and that you have beenonly led astray by the violence of your passions.'
"I, of course, agreed to everything he asked, and only begged of him todeplore the malign destiny which rendered me callous to the counsels ofso virtuous a friend. He then took me to a banker of his acquaintance,who gave one hundred and seventy crowns for his note of hand, which wastaken as cash. I have already said that he was not rich. His livingwas worth about six thousand francs a year, but as this was the firstyear since his induction, he had as yet touched none of the receipts,and it was out of the future income that he made me this advance.
"I felt the full force of his generosity, even to such a degree asalmost to deplore the fatal passion which thus led me to break throughall the restraints of duty. Virtue had for a moment the ascendancy inmy heart, and made me sensible of my shame and degradation. But thiswas soon over. For Manon I could have given up my hopes of heaven, andwhen I again found myself at her side, I wondered how I could for aninstant have considered myself degraded by my passion for thisenchanting girl.
"Manon was a creature of most extraordinary disposition. Never hadmortal a greater contempt for money, and yet she was haunted byperpetual dread of wanting it. Her only desire was for pleasure andamusement. She would never have wished to possess a sou, if pleasurecould be procured without money. She never even cared what our pursecontained, provided she could pass the day agreeably; so that, beingneither fond of play nor at all dazzled by the desire of great wealth,nothing was more easy than to satisfy her, by daily finding outamusements suited to her moderate wishes. But it became by habit athing so absolutely necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied,that, without it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influenceover her temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and Iwas the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she couldever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt thoroughly convincedthat her attachment could not withstand certain apprehensions. Shewould have preferred me, even with a moderate fortune, to the wholeworld; but I had no kind of doubt that she would, on the other hand,abandon me for some new M. de B----, when I had nothing more to offerher than fidelity and love.
"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, as tobe able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself of a thousandnecessaries than even to limit her extravagance. The carriage made memore uneasy than anything else, for I saw no chance of being able tomaintain either coachman or horses.
"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from himthat I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He repeated, thatif I wished to try the chances of the gaming-table, he was not withouthopes that, by spending a few crowns in entertaining his associates, Imight be, on his recommendation, admitted into the association. Withall my repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity.
"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He added,that I was the more likely to succeed in my new profession, fromwanting the favours of fortune. However, to show them that I was notquite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said it was my intention to treatthem with a supper. The offer was accepted, and I entertained them enprince. They talked a good deal about my fashionable appearance andthe apparent amiability of my disposition; they said that the besthopes might be entertained of me, because there was something in mycountenance that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could havea suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for havingintroduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members toinstruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres.
"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of Transylvania,where there was a faro table in one room, and other games of cards anddice in the gallery. This academy was kept by the Prince of R----, whothen lived at Clagny, and most of his officers belonged to our society.Shall I mention it to my shame? I profited quickly by my instructor'stuition. I acquired an amazing facility in sleight of hand tricks, andlearned in perfection to sauter le coup; with the help of a pair oflong ruffles, I shuffled so adroitly as to defy the quickest observer,and I ruined several fair players. My unrivalled skill so quickenedthe progress of my fortunes, that I found myself master, in a fewweeks, of very considerable sums, besides what I divided in good faithwith my companions.
"I had no longer any fear of communicating to Manon the extent of ourloss at Chaillot, and, to console her on the announcement of suchdisastrous
news, I took a furnished house, where we establishedourselves in all the pride of opulence and security.
"Tiberge was in the habit, at this period, of paying me frequentvisits. He was never tired of his moral lectures. Over and over againdid he represent to me the injury I was inflicting upon my conscience,my honour, and my fortune. I received all his advice kindly, andalthough I had not the smallest inclination to adopt it, I had no doubtof its sincerity, for I knew its source. Sometimes I rallied himgood-humouredly, and entreated him not to be more tight-laced than someother priests were, and even bishops, who by no means considered amistress incompatible with a good and holy life.' 'Look,' I said, 'atManon's eyes, and tell me if there is one in the long catalogue of sinsthat might not there find a plea of justification.' He bore thesesallies patiently, and carried his forbearance almost too far: but whenhe saw my funds increase, and that I had not only returned him thehundred and seventy crowns, but having hired a new house and trebled myexpenses, I had plunged deeper than ever into a life of pleasure, hechanged his tone and manner towards me. He lamented my obduracy. Hewarned me against the chastisement of the Divine wrath, and predictedsome of the miseries with which indeed I was shortly afterwardsvisited. 'It is impossible,' he said, 'that the money which now servesto support your debaucheries can have been acquired honourably. Youhave come by it unjustly, and in the same way shall it be taken fromyou. The most awful punishment Heaven could inflict would be to allowyou the undisturbed enjoyment of it. All my advice,' he added, 'hasbeen useless; I too plainly perceive that it will shortly becometroublesome to you. I now take my leave; you are a weak, as well as anungrateful friend! May your criminal enjoyments vanish as a shadow!may your ill-gotten wealth leave you without a resource; and may youyourself remain alone and deserted, to learn the vanity of thesethings, which now divert you from better pursuits! When that timearrives, you will find me disposed to love and to serve you; this dayends our intercourse, and I once for all avow my horror of the life youare leading.'
"It was in my room and in Manon's presence that he delivered thisapostolical harangue. He rose to depart. I was about to detain him;but was prevented by Manon, who said it was better to let the madman go.
"What he said, however, did not fail to make some impression upon me.I notice these brief passages of my life when I experienced a returningsentiment of virtue, because it was to those traces, however light,that I was afterwards indebted for whatever of fortitude I displayedunder the most trying circumstances.
"Manon's caresses soon dissipated the annoyance this scene had causedme. We continued to lead a life entirely devoted to pleasure and love.The increase of our wealth only redoubled our affection. There were nonehappier among all the devotees of Venus and Fortune. Heavens! why callthis a world of misery, when it can furnish a life of such rapturousenjoyment? But alas, it is too soon over! For what ought man to sigh,could such felicity but last for ever? Ours shared the common fate--inbeing of short duration, and followed by lasting regrets.
"I had realised by play such a considerable sum of money, that Ithought of investing a portion of it. My servants were not ignorant ofmy good luck, particularly my valet and Manon's own maid, before whomwe often talked without any reserve. The maid was handsome, and myvalet in love with her. They knew they had to deal with a young andinexperienced couple, whom they fancied they could impose upon withoutmuch difficulty. They laid a plan, and executed it with so much skill,that they reduced us to a state from which it was never afterwardspossible for us to extricate ourselves.
"Having supped one evening at Lescaut's, it was about midnight when wereturned home. I asked for my valet, and Manon for her maid; neitherone nor the other could be found. They had not been seen in the housesince eight o'clock, and had gone out, after having some cases carriedbefore them, according to orders which they pretended to have receivedfrom me. I at once foresaw a part of the truth, but my suspicions wereinfinitely surpassed by what presented itself on going into my room.The lock of my closet had been forced, and my cash as well as my bestclothes were gone. While I stood stupefied with amazement, Manon came,in the greatest alarm, to inform me that her apartment had been rifledin the same manner.
"This blow was so perfectly astounding, so cruel, that it was withdifficulty I could refrain from tears. The dread of infecting Manonwith my despair made me assume a more contented air. I said, smiling,that I should avenge myself upon some unhappy dupe at the hotel ofTransylvania. However, she appeared so sensibly affected, that hergrief increased my sorrow infinitely more than my attempt succeeded insupporting her spirits. 'We are destroyed!' said she, with tears inher eyes. I endeavoured, in vain, by my entreaties and caresses, toconsole her. My own lamentations betrayed my distress and despair. Infact, we were so completely ruined, that we were bereft almost ofdecent covering.
"I determined to send off at once for Lescaut. He advised me to goimmediately to the lieutenant of police, and to give information alsoto the Grand Provost of Paris. I went, but it was to add to mycalamities only; for, independently of my visit producing not thesmallest good effect, I, by my absence, allowed Lescaut time fordiscussion with his sister, during which he did not fail to inspire herwith the most horrible resolutions. He spoke to her about M. G----M----, an old voluptuary, who paid prodigally for his pleasures; he soglowingly described the advantages of such a connection, that sheentered into all his plans. This discreditable arrangement was allconcluded before my return, and the execution of it only postponed tillthe next morning, after Lescaut should have apprised G---- M----.
"I found him, on my return, waiting for me at my house; but Manon hadretired to her own apartment, and she had desired the footman to tellme that, having need of repose, she hoped she should not be disturbedthat night. Lescaut left me, after offering me a few crowns which Iaccepted.
"It was nearly four o'clock when I retired to bed; and having revolvedin my mind various schemes for retrieving my fortunes, I fell asleep solate that I did not awake till between eleven and twelve o'clock. Irose at once to enquire after Manon's health; they told me that she hadgone out an hour before with her brother, who had come for her in ahired carriage. Although there appeared something mysterious in such aproceeding, I endeavoured to check my rising suspicions. I allowedsome hours to pass, during which I amused myself with reading. Atlength, being unable any longer to stifle my uneasiness, I paced up anddown the apartments. A sealed letter upon Manon's table at last caughtmy eye. It was addressed to me, and in her handwriting. I felt myblood freeze as I opened it; it was in these words:
I protest to you, dearest chevalier, that you are the idol of my heart,and that you are the only being on earth whom I can truly love; but doyou not see, my own poor dear chevalier, that in the situation to whichwe are now reduced, fidelity would be worse than madness? Do you thinktenderness possibly compatible with starvation? For my part, hungerwould be sure to drive me to some fatal end. Heaving some day a sighfor love, I should find it was my last. I adore you, rely upon that;but leave to me, for a short while, the management of our fortunes.God help the man who falls into my hands. My only wish is to render mychevalier rich and happy. My brother will tell you about me; he canvouch for my grief in yielding to the necessity of parting from you.
"I remained, after reading this, in a state which it would be difficultto describe; for even now I know not the nature of the feelings whichthen agitated me. It was one of those unique situations of whichothers can never have experienced anything even approaching tosimilarity. It is impossible to explain it, because other persons canhave no idea of its nature; and one can hardly even analyse it tooneself. Memory furnishes nothing that will connect it with the past,and therefore ordinary language is inadequate to describe it. Whateverwas its nature, however, it is certain that grief, hate, jealousy, andshame entered into its composition. Fortunate would it have proved forme if love also had not been a component part!
"'That she loves me,' I exclaimed, 'I can believe; but c
ould she,without being a monster, hate me? What right can man ever have towoman's affections which I had not to Manon's? What is left to me,after all the sacrifices I have made for her sake? Yet she abandons me,and the ungrateful creature thinks to screen herself from my reproachesby professions of love! She pretends to dread starvation! God oflove, what grossness of sentiment! What an answer to the refinement ofmy adoration! I had no dread of that kind; I, who have almost soughtstarvation for her sake, by renouncing fortune and the comforts of myfather's house! I, who denied myself actual necessaries, in order togratify her little whims and caprices! She adores me, she says. Ifyou adored me, ungrateful creature, I well know what course you wouldhave taken; you would never have quitted me, at least without sayingadieu. It is only I who can tell the pangs and torments, of beingseparated from all one loves. I must have taken leave of my senses, tohave voluntarily brought all this misery upon myself.'
"My lamentations were interrupted by a visit I little expected; it wasfrom Lescaut. 'Assassin!' cried I, putting my hand upon my sword,'where is Manon? what have you done with her?' My agitation startledhim. He replied, that if this was the reception he was to meet, whenhe came to offer me the most essential service it was in his power torender me, he should take his leave, and never again cross mythreshold. I ran to the door of the apartment, which I shut. 'Do notimagine,' I said, turning towards him, 'that you can once more make adupe of me with your lies and inventions. Either defend your life, ortell me where I can find Manon.' 'How impatient you are!' replied he;'that was in reality the object of my visit. I came to announce apiece of good fortune which you little expected, and for which you willprobably feel somewhat grateful.' My curiosity was at once excited.
"He informed me that Manon, totally unable to endure the dread of want,and, above all, the certainty of being at once obliged to dispense withher equipage, had begged of him to make her acquainted with M. G----M----, who had a character for liberality. He carefully avoidedtelling me that this was the result of his own advice, and that he hadprepared the way before he introduced his sister. 'I took her therethis morning,' said he, 'and the fellow was so enchanted with her looksthat he at once invited her to accompany him to his country seat, wherehe is gone to pass some days. As I plainly perceived,' said Lescaut,'the advantage it may be to you, I took care to let him know that shehad lately experienced very considerable losses; and I so piqued hisgenerosity that he began by giving her four hundred crowns. I told himthat was well enough for a commencement, but that my sister would have,for the future, many demands for money; that she had the charge of ayoung brother, who had been thrown upon her hands since the death ofour parents; and that, if he wished to prove himself worthy of heraffections, he would not allow her to suffer uneasiness upon account ofthis child, whom she regarded as part of herself. This speech producedits effect, he at once promised to take a house for you and Manon, foryou must know that you are the poor little orphan. He undertook to setyou up in furniture, and to give you four hundred livres a month, whichif I calculate rightly, will amount to four thousand eight hundred perannum. He left orders with his steward to look out for a house, and tohave it in readiness by the time he returned. You will soon,therefore, again see Manon, who begged of me to give you a thousandtender messages, and to assure you that she loves you more dearly thanever.'"
