I think the fact that Jabari planned all of this out by himself, and we didn’t have to spend millions on a wedding is what actually made this day more special to me. I wouldn’t forget anything about this day. Jashae was going to fuckin’ shit bricks when she found this out because never in the history of our friendship had I ever keep a secret like this from her. She’d called me twice this morning, and not once did I let her know what I was doing. I planned to tell her today before I stressed her pregnant ass out since she hadn’t heard from me all morning.
I was happy when I found out that my best friend was pregnant, but like everyone else, I wasn’t shocked. Everyone had been telling her hardheaded ass for weeks that she was pregnant, but I guess our words just weren’t good enough.
“I had to show you that I was serious. I don’t think you believed me from the jump. I guess my timing was off since I was in the middle of trying to get some pussy when I asked you to marry me. Shorty, the day I met you, I already knew what time it was. Instantly, I just clicked with your ass. I just knew that you were the type of female who could keep up with a nigga like me. I knew that I couldn’t scare you off, and that was one of the main things that attracted me to you. I’m just trying to give our child all the shit that we both didn’t have growing up.
“Neither of us know what it feels like to have two parents living in the same house who are actually married. We didn’t know what it was like to be surrounded by that type of love. Before you, I ain’t never been nobody’s boyfriend, let alone their husband. I’m saying that to say, this shit may be a little rocky at first, but we gotta love each other hard enough to make it work. You gotta trust me. You trust me, ain’t it?” he asked, and I nodded.
He put me down because he’d been holding me this whole time, and he pointed to something behind me or I should say, someone. It was my mother, and she wasn’t too far away. All the love, the happiness, and the joy that I felt right when it came to Jabari had turned, and I was pissed. I could see the look in her eyes, and it showed that she didn’t even want to be there.
“Jabari, why? Why would you do this? This is supposed to be our day! You talk about keeping me stress free all the time. You don’t think this here will stress me the fuck out? I don’t want to talk with her. Why can’t you understand that?” I pleaded.
“Go talk to her, shorty. You play good at acting like you don’t want a relationship with her, but I know you do. I’ll sit over here and wait for you, alright?” he said.
I didn’t even bother to respond; I just walked over to her. I hadn’t seen my mother in years. The last time I saw her was when I graduated college, and that was when I was twenty- two. I’m thirty now. She looked the same. All my life, I was told that my mother and I looked like twins. We both had the same shape, which was tall and slim. Same tresses, which were sandy brown, long, full, and curly. She was a mature version of me.
I was close with my mom growing up. Very close. It wasn’t until I grew older and started resenting her after I found out that she’d lied to me all these years about who my father was that things fell apart. We had both said things to each other over the years that we probably shouldn’t have said.
“I texted you a couple of months ago a picture of my sonogram to let you know that you had a granddaughter on the way, and you never responded. Why is that?” was the first thing that I asked her when I was close enough.
I could smell the sweet pea perfume on her, which I was amazed that she still wore to this day. She stayed wearing that loud ass perfume when I was a little girl. I think inhaling that scent for so many years is the reason why I get headaches now from loud smells.
“Because I’m your mother, Mahogany, not some friend. You don’t text me no shit like that! You pick up the phone, and you call!” she said.
“No shit like that? That’s how you refer to your granddaughter? And what do you mean pick up the phone and call? Like you do, right? You pick up the phone and call me? The way that I don’t hear from you, I would have assumed that your ass was dead—”
“Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Mahogany. I don’t give a damn how old you are, I will still slap your ass in the mouth for talking crazy to me! I don’t pick up the phone and call you because I tried to do that for years, and then eventually, I just gave the fuck up. You are my only child, still my baby, my world, but how much rejection is a person supposed to take before they just tap out? Yes, I lied, but I only did it to protect you and—”
“Protect me how, Ma? Girl, I was telling all types of people that my daddy was in the fuckin’ military! I believed that shit until I was thirteen. How exactly did that protect me? All you did was make a wound even worse because, back then, you knew how much having a father meant to me. It meant the world to me. Then, you brainwashed me, put all that shit in my head, making me believe that all men weren’t shit. You know what? I’m not doing this shit. I swear I’m not doing this with you,” I said and pulled my dress up from the bottom, prepared to walk away from her ass.
“You want to know the truth so badly, Mahogany? Go have a talk with Jahir,” she said, and that had me frozen in place.
I turned around and looked at her like she was crazy. Jahir? That was Jashae’s daddy! What the fuck could he possibly have to do with any of this shit?
“Jahir, as in my best friend’s daddy? Why would I need to talk to him?” I quizzed.
“You’re a smart girl. I raised you, so I know you’re smart. Figure it out.” With that, she walked away.
I stood there, still frozen in place. By this time, Jabari had run over to me and was asking question after question, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
“Take me to Jahir’s house!” I demanded as I pulled my dress up so I could start walking again.
“Shae’s daddy? For what? Fuck we gotta go over there for?” he questioned, just as confused as I was.
“Just take me!” I screamed, sounding like a spoiled brat who didn’t even want to talk about it.
Jashae Johnson
“It’s good, Daddy. It just don’t taste how grandma’s,” I said as I took another spoonful of the seafood gumbo that he was making.
My daddy found himself cooking this evening, and because he knew that I would die for some seafood gumbo, he’d invited me over, and I came running. Only thing is, I probably should have come walking because it didn’t taste nowhere near how my grandma made hers. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it was just missing something. When my grandma made gumbo, it tasted like the gumbo that they have in New Orleans. My daddy’s… ummmm, not so much.
I had Maya sitting to the right of me, and she had a bowl of her own. Judging by the way she was picking over it, I could tell that she didn’t like it either. I was in a good mood today. I got a call from my lawyer, and it turns out that Taylor’s mother wanted to drop the entire case, so I didn’t even have to worry about going to court. I wasn’t sure what made her change her mind. Maybe the fact that she saw that her daughter wasn’t as innocent as she thought she was.
I remember that day verbatim, and she tried to make me out to be a crazy person, swearing that her daughter didn’t have my son’s bag inside her bedroom, only for it to be in there, just like I thought it was. I never got a chance to go back down to the church and thank Olivia for giving me that piece of information. Crazy how I didn’t know the first thing about Olivia, but I trusted her word. It was the look in her eyes that showed me that she wasn’t lying about the information that she gave me.
On the other hand, we had another lawyer on deck who was getting everything situated with the arrangements for Maya. We’d already sent paperwork to Krystal, and she pretty much signed over all of her rights, so now we were just waiting to see how this thing was going to play out. I’d jumped headfirst into mommy mode for a child who didn’t even belong to me. A child who didn’t even have the same blood running through her body as me.
Maya had gotten better. She had days when she didn’t even question me about Krystal. She was also ge
tting better at not peeing in the bed so frequently. Next, I was working on getting her signed up for school. I needed to get her a therapist for speech and a therapist in general to help her cope with life. I felt like Maya had some problems that I didn’t have the proper knowledge to fix. Little things that she would say and do had me worried about her and the lifestyle that she used to live before I came into the picture.
I said it before how fragile she was. It didn’t take much for her to become scared. It was like she was living in the army with strict ass rules before she came with me because even when I told her that she didn’t have to ask me to go to the bathroom when we were home, she still did it. I had no idea what the hell Krystal was doing to this little girl, but all I knew was that she had definitely scarred her for life.
“You’re pregnant, so your taste buds are a little off. Damn right it don’t taste like your grandma’s. My shit tastes better!” he shot back, obviously in his feelings.
That got Maya to laugh. I loved when she laughed. It showed that she was happy. It showed the progress that she was making.
“Can’t nobody make spaghetti like you, though, Daddy. You make a mean spaghetti,” I said, telling him the God honest truth.
He waved me off while he continued to stand over the stove, adding more ingredients to his gumbo, thinking that would make it taste a little better. He was going to mess around and it would be too salty. No one would definitely want it then.
“Still can’t believe you about to give me another grandchild. I still feel like you’re that thirteen-year-old girl again. Remember that day? Remember you told Ma that you thought you were pregnant? She beat your ass, as she should’ve! No matter how mad I was with you, I couldn’t put my hands on you. Shit, you were my baby. Still are, no matter how grown you are,” my daddy said, making me smile.
“I still have flashbacks about that day. I have never in my life been more scared of anything. Tore my ass up right in that room. I didn’t even know grandma had what it took to beat me. I deserved it, though. I made you a grandparent too early and her a great grandparent even earlier. I don’t have any regrets, though. I love my baby. That was the greatest gift that God could have ever given me,” I said.
“I just knew I was going to jail that day. I beat your ain’t shit ass baby daddy up like he was a grown ass man. How old was Trip at the time? Fifteen, ain’t it?” he asked me, and I nodded.
Now that we’d already lived through that part of life, I could look back on it and laugh. Trip grew up without a daddy, so a man had never put hands on him before. My daddy beat Trip like he was his son, and my dumb ass stayed in the bathroom, looking out the window and crying. We both got our asses beat that day. Literally, the same day that I found out that I was pregnant, everybody from our projects found out too because that’s just how fast word got around.
I didn’t even get a chance to respond to my daddy because all of a sudden, there was loud banging on his front door. Like he still lived in the projects, he took a gun that was hidden in one of his spots—which was in the back of one of the kitchen drawers—held it in his hands as he went to see who it was.
While he did that, I quickly stood up so I could rush and throw out me and Maya’s food while he wasn’t looking. In the middle of me throwing the food away, I heard what sounded like my best friend’s voice at the door. Why the hell was Mahogany there? Most importantly, why the hell was she yelling at my damn daddy?
I put the plastic bowls in the trash and rushed to the front door to see what the hell was going on.
“What’s going on? Mahogany, what the hell is wrong with you?” I asked because she was crying.
Her make-up was smeared and everything. She looked pretty as hell in her white dress, making me question where the hell she was coming from. Jabari was in a white, two-piece linen suit, and I assumed they must have taken maternity pictures or something, although she really wasn’t that big yet. I didn’t even know that her ass was taking maternity pictures today. Like, when the hell was she going to tell me this?
“Ask your daddy what the fuck is going on, Shae. You know my mama, Jahir?” Mahogany asked, removing her eyes from me and directing them back on my daddy.
At this point, I was so fuckin’ confused. What the hell did Mahogany’s mom and my dad have to do with anything? Hell, I was still trying to find out why the hell she was carrying on like this.
Jabari just stood to the back with his hands in his pockets, making it known that he didn’t want shit to do with this.
“Yeah, I know your mama. Why you questioning me about Marissa?” my daddy asked, calling Mahogany’s mother by her real name.
That was a shocker to me because I didn’t even know that he knew Marissa.
“How you know Marissa, Daddy?” I quizzed.
“Yeah, how do you know Marissa?” Mahogany quizzed, and when my daddy didn’t answer fast enough, she started crying. “Listen, out of respect for Shae being my best friend, I’m really trying to be as respectful to you as possible, but at the same time, I’m high off emotions and ready to say fuck this friendship, so I can get through to you. For the past thirty years of my fuckin’ life, I’ve been lied to, hushed, and ignored when it came to me wanting to know who the hell my father was. I’ve heard everything from he was in the army to my mama telling me that she slept with so many men that she just couldn’t remember. After almost ten years, I faced my mom today, and she looked me in my eyes and told me to ask you. So, Jahir, I’m asking you again, how the hell do you know my mama?” Mahogany said.
It was so quiet in the room that I swear you could hear a damn pin drop. My head all of a sudden felt like it was spinning. Out of all the shit that Mahogany could have stormed over here with, why the hell did it have to be this? I watched my dad’s body movements, and he came across as a typical nigga who had just gotten caught up. From the way his eyes were on everything in the living room except Mahogany, down to the sweat beads that were forming on his forehead.
After what felt like a damn eternity, everyone heard him release a sigh, and he started talking.
“We messed around a few times,” he announced, and I took a huge breath in as if I was shocked.
“What? Wasn’t Marissa cool with my mama, though?” I questioned.
The story had been told to me for years about the friendship that my mom had with Mahogany’s mom. Hell, there were even pictures of the two of them at my grandmother’s house. Their relationship reminded me of how Mahogany and my relationship was.
“And when you say you were messing around with her a few times, would that have happened to be in ninety-seven and ninety-eight? Something along those lines?” she asked him, and without his eyes on her, he nodded his head up and down.
“Wowwwww! That’s the same year that I was born. Daddy, can you talk? Please, make this shit make sense! What is Marissa trying to say? Are you Mahogany’s daddy or what?” I asked the question that I had been dreading to ask for the past two minutes.
“Listen, man. Everybody in Dade-County knows that I was with your mama from the time I was twelve years old. We had our little breaks here and there, and when we were on a break; I did my little thing in between. Maybe two or three years before you were born, Marissa and your mom had moved in together. I came over one night to kick it, but your mama wasn’t there. Only Marissa was. It ain’t no excuse, but I was young, dumb, and obviously didn’t give a fuck about the girl that I had. I slipped up the first time, but any other time after that, it was all my own doing.
“Your mama was the love of my life. I swear to God she was. I had been with her since I was a kid, so you know I loved her. At the same time, Marissa started filling voids that your mama couldn’t fill because that’s around the time that she had started going back to school, so I barely had her time or any of her attention. We kept an ongoing affair for two years. Like clockwork, your mama told me she was pregnant with you one week, and Marissa told me about a month later that she was pregnant.
“Straigh
t up, I told Marissa that she had to get an abortion because I wasn’t doing that shit to your mama. She let it be known right then and there that she wasn’t about to kill a child. I was willing to do anything to get her to get the abortion because I couldn’t let your mama find out, but she wouldn’t change her mind. What she did say was that I didn’t have to be involved and that she would raise the child on her own—”
“And rest in peace to Jashae’s mom, Jackie, but why couldn’t you step up after she died? I don’t want to sound like I’m being insensitive to anyone’s feeling right now, but after everything that I’m hearing right now from you, all I hear is that you didn’t want to be a part of me and my mom’s life because it would hurt Jackie. Jackie died, and you still didn’t take care of the responsibilities that were yours,” Mahogany said.
I was at a loss for words, so I couldn’t even say shit. All I could say was that all this shit made no sense to me. For so long, my daddy could do no wrong in my eyes. I thought of him as perfect. When my mom died, it put him in a position to be a single parent, and although my grandma was very hands on when it came to me, I still couldn’t take the credit away from him and say that he didn’t step up.
I couldn’t believe this shit. All these years, he bragged on my mom and told me stories about how she was so perfect, and I always thought that he was the perfect man. Meanwhile, this nigga wasn’t shit but an older version of my baby daddy. It hurt worse because Mahogany was damn near my family. For thirty years, this man knew for a fact that Mahogany belonged to him, yet he didn’t say shit. I had been best friends with this girl since I was five! Meaning that for twenty-five years, she’d been around him, and the nigga didn’t say shit!
Down With the King of the South 3 Page 11
