She stroked Liam's hair gently. "Well, if Frank, Eddie, and I are any indication, you were a lot of good even back then."
He bit his lip. "I don't remember it the way they did."
"It's okay." She leaned forward and set her hand on his shoulder, and he grabbed it instantly, holding tight. "Dane's wrong, you know."
His throat tightened, and he looked back at her.
She smiled. "Eddie, me, and Frank. The way we see you is the truth." She smiled gently. "You were so lovely tonight at the hospital with Liam and Frank."
God, he wanted to hold her right now. He needed to hold her. But there was a seat and a little boy between them…and the wall that Zoey always kept so carefully erected. "Thanks." He took a breath. "Thanks for always believing in me."
"Except for the last ten years, you mean?"
He laughed softly. "Yeah, except for then."
She rubbed the back of his hand. "You know, Eddie and Frank are right about you. You are a hero. A man of such beauty and honor. The way you defended Eddie was beautiful."
He shrugged. "I don't like bullies."
"It's not just that." Zoey took a deep breath, drawing his attention to her face. There was an expression on her face that he'd never seen before, one he couldn’t read. "You're pure love, Ryder. Love in a world where no one is about love. You pour it into me, and also Frank, and Liam and anyone else who needs it. You're a gift, Ryder, to all those around you."
At her words, he looked back at the houses around them. "I'm from such darkness, Zoey," he said. "It's in my soul. Dane sees it."
"No." She shook her head, even as she tightened her arms around Liam. "It's in your past. It was in your surroundings. In the judgments of others. Not in your soul. It's never been in your soul. Don't you understand? You're the one who is making me believe in love, the kind of love that's real, that I've shut out my whole life."
Love? His breath caught, and he slung his arm over the seat, as if he could climb over and pull her into his arms. "What are you saying?"
She met his gaze. "I—" She hesitated, leaving him on the edge. "It's just that—"
"Are we here?" Liam sat up, rubbing his eyes.
Shit. A part of Ryder wanted desperately to tell Liam to go to sleep for another thirty seconds, but it was only the selfish, desperate man who loved Zoey who wanted that. The other part of him, the part of him that lived and breathed to protect others from the life he'd had, smiled gently at the boy. "Yeah, we're at your place. We'll go in and pack whatever you want to take to our house, and some of your grandpa's stuff, so it'll be there when he gets out of the hospital. You don’t need to take everything. We can come back and get whatever you forget. Sound good?"
"Yeah." Liam scrambled out of Zoey's arms and almost vaulted out of the truck, racing up to the house with the enviable energy of a pre-teen boy, leaving Ryder and Zoey alone in the truck.
"Zoey." He caught her arm as she started to get out.
Her breath hitched noticeably. "Yes?"
"Finish this, talk later? After we get Liam settled?"
She looked back at him, searching his face for a long moment, before she finally nodded. "Yes. I'd like that." She scooted to the edge of the seat and lightly kissed him, her lips soft and warm against his.
The kiss was over almost before it had begun, but the sensation of her kiss lingered after she climbed out of the car and headed after Liam…just as it always had.
She'd never left his soul. Not now. Not when she'd been gone for ten years. Not ever.
He got out of his truck and followed the two of them up the broken walkway into the house, watching the line of her body sway with each step she took.
His need for her was so strong it almost hurt. Had she been about to tell him she loved him? Not as a friend, but as so much more?
Or was she never going to come to him?
He had a feeling tonight he was going to find out, either way.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Zoey sat on the edge of Liam's bed, watching him finally fall asleep as the sun's morning rays stretched across the comforter. He'd chosen to sleep in Ryder's bed, and he was so little in the king-sized luxury. He'd been in awe when they'd driven up to the ten-bedroom house, literally stunned speechless when he'd realized that was where they'd be living.
The magic he saw had made her see the house through his eyes. Beautiful. Luxurious. The latest in all technology. And yet, it still was warm and homey, a place where kids could track in mud and boys could be boys. A place where kids were safe.
Where she was safe.
With a sigh, she stood up and walked over to the window and braced her hands on the windowsill as she looked out. Ryder's room was on the river side, and she could see it winding through the fields and trees. A few other houses dotted the river, but there was so much space.
In the distance were the mountains.
It was beautiful. It felt like freedom. A place to breathe deep and follow whatever path she wanted.
"ZoeyBear?" Ryder's whisper drifted across her neck like a warm caress, and she turned to see him standing in the doorway. "You want to catch a few zzz's before the picnic?"
The picnic. The one with all the Stocktons…and her brother. "You want to go?"
He nodded. "I promised Liam." He raised his brows. "You don't want to?"
The picnic would be full of all the people she'd wanted to avoid when she'd first come back to town. All the people she'd cut out of her life after she'd left a decade ago. All the people who she'd used to cause herself so much pain because she convinced herself she didn't belong. But now… "I want to go so much," she whispered.
He smiled and held out his hand. "Come sleep. I'm sure we have only a couple hours before Liam is up. He saw the kayaks and wanted to go for a ride before the picnic. The resilience of kids, right?"
"Yeah." She took one last glance at the sleeping boy as she walked over to Ryder. Liam was sound asleep, hugging the ratty teddy bear he'd brought from home. Her heart turned over. "We're going to make sure he's okay, right? Not just today, but always?"
Ryder took her hand. "Absolutely. Him and Frank. Always. My brothers will take them on as well. They're in our circle now."
So, even if she left town, Liam and Frank would be all set.
Leaving town?
Leaving town.
She looked at Ryder's broad back as he led the way toward her bedroom.
Leaving town.
When she'd arrived, all she'd wanted to do was get the hell back out of town. She'd wanted to run and hide, and the only reason she'd stayed was because she didn't know where to go.
Ryder looked back at her as he opened her bedroom door. "You okay?"
She nodded, her throat tightening at the expression on his face. "You always look at me with such love," she whispered.
His face softened, and he drew her inside the room before closing the door. "Because I love you." He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her against him. "I've always loved you." He hesitated for a moment, then pointed to the bed. "Wait here. I'll be right back. I have to show you something."
Before she could answer, he was gone, leaving her alone in her room.
Instead of going to the bed, she walked over to the window to look out. But when she got there, she just braced her hands on the windowsill, bowed her head, and closed her eyes. What did she want? She had so many choices. She could go to Oregon. Go back to Boston. Go talk to Dane to try to sort things out. Keep working for Lissa. Be a starving artist and live in a shack like Liam and Frank's.
She could tell Ryder she loved him, or she could let him go, soldier onward in a solo quest to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.
Because she did love him.
She'd always loved him. But she'd been scared of herself, of her life, of everything—
The door opened and she turned around as Ryder stepped inside. He was holding something in his hand, something small enough that she couldn't see what it was. "Zoey—"
"I love you." She blurted out the words before she was ready, but the moment they were out, she felt the hugest sense of relief.
Hope flickered across his face. "Love me, how, exactly?"
"Capital L."
He raised his brows. "So, you Love me, not just love me?"
"Yes, definitely." She grinned, feeling slightly giddy at the experience of telling him. "God, I had a crush on you for so long, and I could never tell you. And then I was mad for a decade. And then I was scared. And now…" She held out her arms. "I love you, and it feels amazing to admit it— Ack!"
Ryder caught her around the waist and swept her up into his arms as he kissed her. With a happy sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back as he carried her over to the bed. She thought he was going to lower her down and turn it into an incredible lovemaking affair, but instead, he dropped her onto the soft mattress and stepped back.
She frowned, propping herself up on her elbows. "Seriously? I honestly thought you'd have a different reaction than dropping me on the bed and running away."
"I'm not running. I need to give you something." He crouched in front of her, his blue gaze intent. "When I managed to drive you away from Rogue Valley when you were eighteen, I thought you would come back when college was over. I believed that you would find your way back, because I knew I couldn’t live without you."
Zoey sat up. "I'm sorry, I didn't—"
"No." He held up his hand to silence her. "No apologies, ever, for how you need to be and how you need to live. That has to be a rule of our relationship, okay?"
A relationship? A future? Her heart started to pound. Telling him she loved him was one thing. A future? A forever? That was different. So different. But the idea of it made something inside her come to life with hope and excitement and a kind of delirious level of euphoria. She took a deep breath. "Okay."
He nodded. "A couple years after you left, I was making great money in construction. It was before I owned my own business, but I was doing really well. I bought you a present for when you came back."
Her heart lurched. That was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard. She looked at his closed hand. "And you kept it all this time?"
He nodded. "Long ago, I gave up believing you would ever come back here, but I kept it because every time I looked at it, it reminded me that there was someone in this world, someone with a beautiful soul, who thought I had value as a human being. I needed to see that reminder every day. I kept it in my wallet during the day, and on my nightstand at night. Every night. And now, I want you to have it."
How could she ever have doubted this man? "Ryder…"
He took her hand and pressed something into her palm, something cold and hard. "You saved my soul and changed my life, Zoey. When you came back here this time, and I saw the shadows in your eyes, I knew I had to do the same for you." He smiled, brushing her hair back from her face. "The spark is back. I see it. You're going to be okay, whatever you choose to do with your life. You can feel it, can't you?"
"Yes," she whispered. She was different. She was on a path she'd never been on. A path of love, and hope, and joy. And people. So many people to love.
He squeezed her hand, the one with his gift. "Keep it, ZoeyBear. It's for you. It's always been for you."
She looked down and opened her hand, and her breath caught at the shiny circle on her palm. "It's a ring?"
"Not just a ring."
She saw then that there was a single stone on it. A diamond. Stunned, she picked it up and looked at it. A single, solitaire diamond. "You bought me an engagement ring?"
"Yeah. Eight years ago."
Tears filled her eyes, and she clenched her fist around it. "All this time, for all these years, I thought you didn't care about me, that you didn't love me, and you were carrying this?"
"Yeah." He dropped to his knees and took her hands. "Even if you'd come home before this, I'm not sure I would have given it to you. I didn't believe I was worthy of you. I was so crushed under the darkness of my dad, and all the shit I lived under. It's been changing over time, watching my brothers get married, but it wasn't until now, when Dane told me to back off, and I couldn't, that I finally was able to understand that my love for you could heal us both. I deserve a chance with the most incredible, most wonderful woman, the one who has filled my heart since the day I first met her." His blue eyes searched her. "And you deserve a chance at love with the man you love, who loves you with every single fiber of his soul."
She didn't know what she would do for a career yet. She didn't know what she'd do with her art. There was so much she hadn't figured out yet…but she finally understood one thing, and that was love.
His love for her.
Her love for him.
The love of family, of all kinds, through everything life can throw at you. Stocktons. Harts. And now the women who had married Stocktons, and Liam and Frank.
Ryder took her hands. "ZoeyBear, I'll buy you a much bigger diamond now, but the question is the same. I need you to be my forever, and I'll be yours. It's fine if you want to take time to sort things out before we get married. If you want to go to Boston, I'll go with you this time. Same if you need to go to Oregon. But let's do it together. As best friends. As lovers." He took the ring from her hand and held it out to her. "As partners who promise a forever for each other." He looked at her. "Will you marry me, ZoeyBear? It doesn't have to be tomorrow. It can take as long as you want. But let's start on this road together, always together, forever together."
She couldn’t keep the tears from streaming down her cheeks. "I don't want to move back to Boston."
He grinned. "Good. I didn't really want to go there."
"I don't want to go to Oregon."
He raised his brows. "I sense a 'but' on the way."
"I want to live in Rogue Valley. I want to get to know your brothers again, and their wives. I want to watch Liam grow up, and Emily and Justin, and all the next generation of Stocktons. I want to watch the new barn go up and see Keegan's bakery come to life." She searched his face. "I don't even know what town you actually live in, Ryder, but I don't want to live there. I want to live here. I want to be a part of this family and I want to do it with you. Can you do that?"
"Even two weeks ago, I couldn't have said yes, but now?" He smiled. "We've chased away my demons, Zoey. You and me, and Frank and Liam. I can come home now. With you. I'm ready. We'll heal the past and make new memories here."
Love seemed to expand inside her chest, and she grinned, unable to keep the smile off her face. She held her left hand out to him. "Then my answer is yes."
"Yes." He slid the ring over her finger, and the fit was perfect. He swore under his breath, then grinned. "I'm never letting you go this time, ZoeyBear. And I mean it."
"You better mean it. I'm so done with you making these grand overtures and then bailing on them."
He tackled her onto the bed, and she giggled as he ripped his shirt off. "Forever, ZoeyBear. That's the way it is now. Got it?"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down to her. "I definitely got it. Now kiss me, you beast."
He did. And it was so beautiful…beautiful enough for forever.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zoey nervously pulled the sleeve of her sweatshirt down over her left hand, all the way to her fingertips, as Ryder pulled his truck up behind Chase's house, where there was chaos and craziness with all the Stocktons, their wives, and kids. There were two grills going, a badminton net, an obstacle course, a lesson on roping happening, and four picnic tables of food.
This was going to be her family. For real. On paper as well as in her heart. She was nervous, but at the same time, she wanted to cry. She belonged.
Ryder clasped her and Liam's hands, because both of them were hanging back. "They don't bite, you two," he said gently. "They'll love you both."
"How many kids are there now?" she asked.
"Seems like several hundred, but it's possible I'm
counting some of them twice." Ryder gently urged them both forward, his grip solid and unyielding, but comforting at the same time.
"Is Dane here?" Zoey hadn't seen his truck when they'd pulled up, and she didn't see him in the middle of the festivities. But she knew he'd be there, because Jaimi was a Stockton.
"I don't see him." He glanced at Zoey. "It'll be fine with him."
"Will it? You won't ditch me again if he—"
"There's nothing he could do or say to get me to walk away from you." He raised her left hand and kissed the ring through the fabric of the sweatshirt. "You got me, baby."
She took a deep breath. "Okay."
Liam tugged on his hand. "I know them."
They both looked to see he was pointing at a boy with dark skin who looked about his age, and a girl with blond hair and a Stockton nose. Ryder nodded. "That's Toby, one of Zane and Taylor's boys. And Emily." He glanced at Zoey. "Your niece."
Her heart skipped a beat. Her niece.
"They're both in my class at school." There was no mistaking the longing in Liam's voice, and Ryder immediately beckoned to Zane, who was standing near the kids. He didn't look quite like the motorcycle-riding rebel she'd known from her youth, but he still had the earring and the swagger that would always brand him as the rule-breaker. His cowboy hat and boots, however, suggested that he might have traded in his bike for something more four-legged.
Zane immediately scooped up both kids and carried them over. "Afternoon, Ryder." He flashed a grin at Zoey. "So good to see you again. Taylor loved meeting you."
Her heart warmed. "I loved meeting her, too." She smiled at Emily, who was studying her curiously. "Hi Emily. I'm your dad's sister. My name's Zoey."
Emily nodded. "Mom said you're super nice."
Zoey let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. "I thought she was super nice, too."
"Want to come see my foal? I named her Moana." She looked at Ryder. "You promised you'd come."
A Real Cowboy Always Trusts His Heart Page 19
