by Force, Marie
“I didn’t do that.”
“Ah, yes, you certainly did.”
“Well, that wasn’t my intention. My ire was directed at him, not you.”
“And why is that? You invited him to stay with us. Did you expect him to never venture across the yard? He has nieces here that he’d like to get to know. Addie took to him immediately.”
Blaine scowled at that news.
“If you didn’t want him here, why’d you invite him to stay in the apartment?”
“I didn’t exactly invite him.”
“Huh?”
“So when I had to go to the mainland last week?”
“What about it?”
“It was because he’d gotten arrested after a bar fight. I made a deal with the local chief not to press assault charges against him if I made him disappear for the time being. That’s why he’s here—and trust me, he doesn’t want to be here.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that when it happened?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know my brother is a fuckup before you even met him. If I had a dollar for every scrape I got him out of when we were kids, I’d never have to work again. I’d sort of hoped those days were behind us.”
“I thought he was a cop, too?”
“He was. In Boston for ten years. He was medically retired after he blew out his knee on the job.”
“If he’s such a fuckup, how did he keep that job for so long?”
“Like I said, I thought he’d finally grown up. Clearly, I thought wrong.” He reached across the space between them. “Are you going to forgive me?”
“Not yet. Did you ask him what the fight in the bar was about?”
“Does it matter? He got himself arrested and run out of town.”
“Yes, it matters. Why would he get into a fight over nothing?”
“It was over a woman, or so he said. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Is Ashleigh still at Maddie’s?”
“Yes, but I’m not done talking about him or what you implied downstairs. I understand that your brother irritates you for whatever reason, but that’s no excuse for acting like a jackass when you came home to find him here.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you really, or are you just horny?”
“Can’t I be both?”
“I’m hurt that you’d suggest I’d be unfaithful to you.”
“I’m very sorry I hurt your feelings. I know you’d never do that.”
“I wouldn’t. Not ever. Especially with your brother, who I only just met. Just because I sell frisky stuff at my store doesn’t mean—”
He kissed her deeply, thoroughly. “I’m profoundly sorry, baby. It was shitty for me to even hint at such a thing.”
“You owe your brother an apology, too.”
His nose wrinkled. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. And until you apologize to him, we’re shut down for business.”
“By shut down, you mean…”
She got right in his face, her nose touching his. “No sex until you apologize to him—and you’d better mean it, because I’m going to ask him.” When she started to get up, he stopped her with his hand on her arm in a light grip.
“By no sex, you mean…”
“No. Sex. Of. Any. Kind. Until. You. Apologize. To. Deacon. Am I clear?”
Blaine moaned and fell back on the bed. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
“You’re the one who started it by making absurd accusations. Once you clean up your mess and do a good job of it, I’ll consider reopening for business. Until then, your hand can be your new best friend.”
He groaned dramatically, and Tiffany had to bite her lip so she wouldn’t laugh at his pathetic performance.
She pulled her arm free and got up to spread her yoga mat on the floor to get her workout in while Addie was asleep. If she put on one hell of a performance for her horny husband, well, he had only himself to blame for her performance—and the large bulge in his shorts.
Julia made herself presentable for the brunch, determined to get through the last of the family obligations before she’d be free to figure out her own shit. Another meal to suffer through while her stomach was so agitated that eating would be a chore. Anxiety was a bitch on a good day, and she hadn’t had many good days since Mike had cleaned out her bank account and broken her heart.
Hopefully, her insightful family members wouldn’t be monitoring too closely what she ate—or didn’t eat. Ever since she’d first landed in the hospital, her struggles with food and eating had become a family matter, when she’d have preferred to keep her problems private. When they were together, she felt like everyone was always keeping tabs on her, which meant forcing herself to eat, even when she had no desire whatsoever to do so.
She’d learned to give them just enough to keep them off her back. Her food issues were nowhere near as severe as they’d once been, but during times of extreme stress, the old issues came roaring back to remind her she was powerless against them.
Julia was the last one to join the party on the deck, and her mom greeted her with a hug.
“How’d you sleep?”
Awful. “Great. You?”
“I was awake half the night.”
She looked amazing to say she didn’t get much sleep. In fact, Julia didn’t think she’d ever seen her mother looking prettier than she did today, in a flowing white summer dress that offset her deep tan. Her chin-length blonde hair curled at the ends, and her makeup made her blue eyes pop. “How come?”
“Have a seat, and I’ll tell you.”
Julia slid into one of two remaining seats and greeted her siblings, including Katie, who sat with Shane across from her. Charlie’s stepdaughter, Stephanie, was also there with her husband, Grant McCarthy. Julia was about to ask Owen if he knew what was up with their mother when Deacon came up the stairs to the deck, wearing a pressed light blue dress shirt and khaki shorts. For a moment, she was struck dumb by the sight of his handsome face.
And then he smiled.
Ah, that damned dimple is so sexy.
“Deacon,” Sarah said. “I’m so glad you could join us. Have a seat next to Julia.”
What the hell was her mother up to?
Deacon sat and leaned in to whisper to Julia, “Morning.”
“Hi.”
“Your mom invited me. Hope it’s okay.”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Now that you’re all here,” Sarah said, reaching for Charlie’s hand, “Charlie and I have a very special announcement to make.” She glanced at Charlie, who looked at her with such a fierce kind of love that Julia was actually a little jealous, which immediately made her feel small and petty. “We’re going to be married this morning while you’re all here!”
Sarah’s announcement was met with applause, excitement, tears and an outpouring of love from Sarah’s seven children and Charlie’s stepdaughter.
“If Owen and Stephanie wouldn’t mind joining us up here,” Charlie said gruffly, his voice wavering with emotion he couldn’t begin to hide.
Shane’s father, Frank McCarthy, a retired Superior Court judge who’d also married Katie and Shane, came onto the deck to do the honors for Sarah and Charlie.
Sarah kissed Charlie on the cheek. “Be right back.”
“Hurry.”
Sarah went into the hotel and reemerged a few minutes later, escorted by her parents, Russ and Adele, who were beaming with happiness. What it must mean to them to see their only child finally settled with a man who loved and respected her the way Charlie did.
Julia watched the proceedings with a feeling of detachment even as her heart swelled with happiness for her mother.
Sarah held out a hand to Owen, and Charlie did the same to Stephanie, who was sobbing. He hugged her, whispered something in her ear that made her laugh and then hugged her some more.
Their story had touched Julia deeply when she first heard it, and as she watched them together no
w, their deep bond was obvious.
Next to them, Owen stood with his arm around Sarah, the two of them survivors of the hell Julia’s father had put them all through. Without Owen and their mom, the rest of them wouldn’t have gotten through it intact. Or as intact as anyone could be after what they’d endured.
Julia glanced toward her youngest brother, Jeff, who’d attempted suicide while still living at home. Their grandparents had intervened and moved with him to Florida to get him into intense therapy that had helped to put his life back together. He and the other Lawrys were all smiles and tears as they watched their mom exchange vows with Charlie.
When they had recited traditional vows, Frank turned to Sarah. “You and Charlie have indicated that you each have something you’d like to share. Would you like to go first?”
Sarah nodded and took a deep breath. Happiness radiated from every part of her, and Julia realized she had never seen her mother truly happy before now.
“I swore I wouldn’t cry today, because this day isn’t about tears. It’s about hope and second chances and love like I never knew existed until I met you, Charlie. For so many years, I lived without the love and joy and hope that you give me every minute of every day. I’m so thankful we found each other on this tiny island in the middle of the ocean. There’s nowhere else I want to be for the rest of my life than wherever you are. I love you so much.”
Charlie released his hold on Sarah’s left hand only long enough to wipe tears from his face. “You certainly know how to get to me,” he said. “You have from the start, with your lovely blue eyes that saw through to the heart of me. The best thing I ever did was come to work at the hotel during the renovations, where I met Owen’s beautiful mom and found my happy beginning. I don’t like to call it a happy ending, because today is just the start for us. I can’t wait for everything that comes next with you, your children, your parents, my daughter, our family. There is nothing you could want or need that I wouldn’t find a way to get for you. All you have to do is ask, and it’s yours. I’m yours.”
By then, everyone was wiping up tears, even Julia, who was unreasonably moved by their heartfelt words. Would anyone ever look at her the way Charlie was looking at her mom? Across the table, Shane had his arm around Katie, who leaned into him. What might it be like to have someone she could truly count on to have her back? Would she ever meet anyone she could trust the way her mom trusted Charlie or Owen trusted Laura or Katie trusted Shane?
She’d looked high and low, and all she’d found were the dregs. Were there any good guys left out there for her to find?
Deacon chose that moment to lean in, his arm on the chair behind her. “Are you okay?” He kept his voice down so only she could hear him.
She shot him a look, still wondering why her mother had invited him. He’d been a stranger to both of them yesterday. “I’m fine.”
He studied her intently, as if he could tell just by looking at her that she was lying. She wasn’t fine, and she couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d been fine. Had she ever been? The thought sent her mind spiraling through memories that were better left in the past where they belonged.
Her mom and Charlie exchanged rings, and then Frank declared them husband and wife. “Charlie, you may kiss your bride.”
Charlie wrapped his arms around Sarah and looked at her for a long, intense moment before he kissed her gently but with so much feeling that it brought new tears to Julia’s eyes. She stood abruptly, and her chair fell over, making a loud clatter as it landed on the deck. When everyone was supposed to be looking at her mom and Charlie, they were looking at her, once again wondering what was wrong with Julia.
Everything was wrong.
“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” She had to get out of there before she broke down in front of her entire family. The last thing in the world she wanted was their full attention. That belonged to her mom and Charlie today, not her.
Julia went down to the street and walked a short distance to the stone breakwater that made up the northern end of New Harbor. Choosing her steps carefully, Julia made her way out to the end where she sat, removed her sandals and let her feet hang low enough to be splashed by waves breaking gently over the huge stones.
When she was a kid visiting her grandparents and needed to get away from the crowd, she’d come out here to sit and think and breathe. The first time she’d done it, they’d gone into a panic looking for her, and when her grandfather found her at the end of the breakwater, he’d told her to please let him know the next time she needed a break so her grandmother wouldn’t be worried. She’d told him every time after that, and he’d always understood and supported her need for solitude.
Thank God for the two of them. Julia could still close her eyes and go right back to how dreadful it had felt to return to the reality of their hellish life at home after those blissful summers. She could easily recall the painful desire to tell her grandparents the truth about life with their father, despite the dreadful consequences he’d promised to anyone who “told tales out of school.”
She could remember the way her stomach would all but seize up when it was time to leave Gansett, making it impossible to eat for days. Her issues with food started during those chaotic years, when she’d had no control over anything in her life, least of all the violent, unpredictable outbursts that were so much a part of their childhood. It’d been the worst for her, Katie and Owen as the eldest three. Their father had directed most of his rage at them and their mother, but the others had suffered right along with them. John stuttered until he was twenty, and it suddenly disappeared. Cindy had awful headaches, Josh had turned to booze and Jeff to drugs before he’d nearly succeeded in ending his own life.
For Julia, the pain had fueled eating disorders as well as her almost pathological need for attention from men, which she’d mistakenly thought would bring her solace. It had done the exact opposite.
Julia picked up a handful of stones and threw them one at a time into the sea below, watching them disappear beneath the surface. She’d once sat in this very spot, the night before they were due to return home for another endless school year, and contemplated whether it would be easier to slip beneath the surface of the water and never come back up. In that moment, slipping beneath the sea had been preferable to going home to her father.
“Your grandfather told me I might find you out here.”
Julia looked up at Deacon, shocked to see him standing there.
“May I join you?”
She shrugged. “It’s not my jetty.”
He sat next to her on the same massive rock. “I’d forgotten how beautiful this island can be.”
“How could you forget that?”
“I’ve been gone a long time.”
“Didn’t you come home to visit your family?”
“Not very often. Mostly, they came to see me when I lived in Boston.”
“You aren’t close to them?”
“Not really. I made a point to talk to my mom and grandmother every week, but other than that, not so much.”
Julia couldn’t imagine life without the close bond she’d always shared with her brothers and sisters. It was how they’d survived. “Why?”
“I don’t know, really. We’ve just never been particularly tight. My sister is the oldest, then Blaine and then me. Our other brother and sister are much younger than the rest of us. I was long gone by the time they hit high school.”
“Where do they live now?”
“My older sister is married with two kids and living in Connecticut. You know Blaine’s story. My younger brother just graduated from college in Boston and my younger sister lives in Newport.”
“Funny how we both come from big families.”
“I know, right?”
For a long time, they stared out at the captivating ocean vista, the sight of which never got old to Julia. “When we spent summers here, I would curl up on the window seat in my room and stare at the ocean for hours. My gram knew how much
I loved that seat, so she always gave me and Katie the same room.” Julia had no doubt Adele had ensured she’d gotten their old room this weekend.
“You love it here.”
“I really do.”
“Funny how I hated living here when I was a kid.”
“What? Why? How could anyone hate it here?”
“It was so confining. We couldn’t go anywhere or do anything but what was on the island. I left the day I turned eighteen, and I’ve only been back a handful of times since. It’s just not my scene.”
“So why are you here?”
“That’s kind of a long story, and you need to get back to your mom’s wedding before she thinks you’re upset that she married Charlie.”
“I’m not. He seems great, and he’s clearly crazy about her.”
“Then what’re you doing out here when the rest of your family is celebrating?”
“I needed a break.”
He nudged her shoulder playfully. “From what?”
“The outbreak of happiness in my family. It’s making me feel like I have poison ivy all over me.” She rubbed her arms. “I can’t take it.”
Deacon laughed—hard.
“It’s not funny!”
“Yeah, it kinda is.” He stood and brushed off his shorts. “Let’s walk back before your mom gets her feelings hurt. After the brunch, I’ll take you for a ride in my boat, and you can be miserable where no one but me can see you.”
She took the hand he held out and let him pull her up. When she was standing, she withdrew her hand, folded her arms and gave him an assessing look. “Why did my mom invite you to her wedding?”
“I honestly don’t know. Maybe she suspected you might need a friend?”
“Is that what you are? My friend?”
They began the walk back, choosing their steps carefully on the enormous rocks that made up the jetty.
“If you want me to be.”
“I told you, I’m not going to sleep with you or do anything else with you.”
“Ew, we’re friends. I don’t do that stuff with my friends.”
Julia laughed at the outrage in his tone. “I’m glad we understand each other.”
“Oh, we do. For sure.”
