by Force, Marie
“She needs rest and relaxation. The babies need a calm, serene environment to continue growing. We want to get them to thirty-five weeks if we can. That’s the goal.”
Maddie wanted sex all the time when she was pregnant, which he had joked was the best part of keeping her pregnant. She looked as disappointed as he felt. “We can abstain, Mac. It’s only a few months.”
Only a few months? He wanted her all the time. Like last time they’d been forced to abstain, it would be torture to keep his hands to himself for that long. But of course he’d do whatever he had to in order to protect his wife and daughters, even if that meant going without.
He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “It’s all good, baby. Whatever it takes to bring these little girls into the world and to keep you all safe and healthy.”
“How’s the pain, Maddie?” Vic asked.
“Better than it was.”
“It’s apt to come and go as the babies move around.”
“Oh joy.”
Despite her sarcastic reply, Mac knew she felt the same way he did about doing whatever it took to ensure a safe delivery. After the agony of losing Connor, they were painfully aware of worst-case scenarios.
David removed the monitors that had been attached to Maddie. “I’m fine with releasing you both, provided you take it easy and check back with me if you experience any other symptoms or have concerns. Maddie, any other random pain needs to be fully investigated. Please call me if anything comes up—day or night.”
“Will do,” Mac said.
“There’s one other thing I want to say to you guys.” David made sure to look at both of them. “In the past couple of months, you’ve both been here with anxiety-related symptoms, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Losing Connor understandably rocked you, and as hard as it is to go through something like that, there’s no reason to believe it’ll happen again.”
Maddie sniffled and wiped away tears that came any time Connor’s name was mentioned.
Mac put his arm around her as he blinked back tears of his own.
“The thing is,” David continued, “you can’t let the fear of that happening cause secondary health concerns. That kind of anxiety isn’t good for either of you. I know it’s really hard to believe that everything will be okay with the twins, but there’s no reason to believe it won’t be. Okay?”
Maddie nodded and wiped away more tears.
Mac shook his hand. “Thanks, David.”
“I’d say it was a pleasure, but I hate to see you in here for anything other than routine visits.”
“We hate it, too,” Mac said as he helped Maddie sit up so she could get dressed. “No more crises. We’ve had enough of them for one lifetime.”
David signed the discharge paperwork, and Victoria promised to check on them the next day.
When they got to the parking lot ten minutes later, Mac realized they had two cars there. “I’ll send someone to get the truck tomorrow.” He helped Maddie into the passenger seat of her SUV. Fortunately, it had a third row of seats, which they would soon need to transport their five kids around.
Breathe, Mac. You’ve got this.
As they rode through the dark winding roads that led to home, Mac looked over at Maddie. “David’s right. We’re letting the stress get to us.”
“I know.”
“We have to try harder to focus on the good things and the three successful pregnancies rather than the one that didn’t work out.”
“I know that, too.”
“Easier said than done, though, right?”
“Yeah.”
At home, they found Francine sacked out on the sofa. Rather than disturb her, Mac texted Ned that she was asleep. He covered his mother-in-law with a blanket and shut off the lights before going upstairs to find Maddie already in bed.
He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. “What a day.”
“One I’m not going to want to remember years from now.”
“Me either, but we have a lot to be thankful for. I didn’t actually have a heart attack, and you didn’t go into premature labor.”
“True.”
“My grandmother used to tell us to see the glass as half full rather than half empty, and it would make anything seem better than it was.”
“She had a point.”
Mac went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and dropped his work clothes into the hamper. He got into bed next to Maddie and stared up at the ceiling, focusing on breathing the way David had told him to. When he looked over at Maddie, he found her watching him. “What?”
“Just looking.”
“Don’t look at me. Don’t come near me, and for the love of God, do not touch me.”
She lost it laughing. “Is that what it’s going to take to get through the next few months?”
“Yes.”
His gorgeous wife slid across the mile he’d put between them, snuggled up to him and rested her hand on his abdomen. “That’s not going to work for me. I can’t go months without touching you or kissing you or sleeping in your arms.”
“Madeline…”
She slid her hand down to encircle his hard cock. “He said I can’t have sex. He never said anything about you.”
He put his hand on top of hers to stop her from moving it. “That’s exactly what it means. If you can’t have it, I can’t either.”
“That’s ridiculous, Mac. Why should you suffer just because I’m laid up?”
“You’re laid up because you’re carrying my babies. What’s fair is fair. We’re officially on the wagon.”
“You can’t go two days without sex. How will you stand to wait months?”
“I’ve done it before when you were expecting Mac, and I went weeks without it after you had Hailey and Mac, and after we lost Connor. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not a complete horn dog.”
“Um, well, you’re a pretty horny dog.”
He gave her a foul look. “So are you. And by the way, I can control myself when I have to, and right now I have to because it’s what’s best for you and the girls. It’s no big deal.”
“You say that now…”
“I say that until six weeks after these babies are born.”
“Want to make a bet?”
He raised a brow. “What kind of bet?”
“That you can’t go that long without taking the edge off.”
“Maddie! Are you suggesting that I…”
“Spank the monkey? Well, don’t you?”
Hearing the words spank the monkey coming from her made him so hard, he saw stars. “My brother Adam says there are guys who do it and guys who lie about it.”
Maddie laughed. “So which one are you?”
“I’ve been known to spank the occasional monkey in my life, but far less often since I’ve had my beautiful wife to spank it for me. But trust me. My monkey can go without spanking, if need be.”
“And that’s where the bet comes in. I bet you can’t make it to the end of my pregnancy without doing some spanking.”
“I can, too!”
“Cannot.”
“Fine. I’ll take your bet. What’s the wager?”
“Hundred bucks?”
He held out his hand.
She shook it.
“How will you know if I fall off the wagon?”
“You have to tell me. You’re on the honor system.”
“Won’t be anything to tell.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
“We shall see.”
“Yes, we shall.” Even as he made the wager and talked a big game, he hoped he could stick to it.
“Mac?”
“Yes?”
“Will you kiss me good night?”
He gave her a chaste peck on the lips.
“I want a real kiss.”
“You’re not allowed to have real kisses.”
“Yes, I am! I’m not allowed to have sex. David said nothing about kissing.”
“
Kissing leads to sex.”
“Not if we don’t let it. Please? I can’t go months without at least kissing you.”
“I can’t go that long without kissing you either.” He turned on his side to face her. “I hope these girls go easy on us when they’re teenagers. They’re going to owe us for the enormous sacrifices we’re making for them.”
“Which you will not ever tell them about.”
“I love when you’re stern with me. It’s so hot.”
“Put some ice on it. We’re on the wagon.”
“Don’t remind me. Are you going to kiss me or what?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
And when she did, Mac quickly realized that, despite his bravado, abstinence was going to be pure torture, because like always, any time he kissed his sexy wife, he only wanted more of her.
Chapter 22
Julia was ravenous. Sitting with Deacon in Stephanie’s Bistro, she perused the menu. After weeks in which nothing appealed to her, suddenly everything did.
“What looks good to you?”
“All of it.”
Stephanie approached their table. “Hey, sis.”
Julia laughed at the face Stephanie made as she tried on the new tag. “Hi there.”
“Sorry. I’ve never had siblings, so getting seven of them all at once has turned me into a bit of a dork.”
Julia couldn’t imagine life without her six siblings. “You’re not a dork, and we’re thrilled to have you.”
“Really?” The bright, hopeful look on Stephanie’s face was nothing short of adorable.
“Really.”
Stephanie cleared her throat and made a visible effort to pull herself together. “May I tell you about our specials?”
“Yes, please,” Julia said.
After Stephanie went through the list, Deacon gestured for Julia to order first.
“I don’t know what I want. It all sounds so good.”
“Could I offer you a taster platter? You could have some of everything.”
“That’d be awesome.”
Deacon nodded in agreement and handed his menu to Steph.
“I love having a sister with a restaurant,” Julia said.
“Stop,” Stephanie said, taking Julia’s menu. “You’ll make me cry. I’ll send some wine over.”
“We take for granted what we’ve always had,” Deacon said after Steph had walked away.
“Right? I was thinking before that I can’t imagine life without my siblings.”
“Same, even if I sometimes wish I was an only child.”
“I’ve never once wished for that. I wouldn’t have survived without Owen and Katie, in particular.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”
“Don’t be sorry. As Owen likes to say, it was what it was, and we made the best of it.”
“Still… It was a nightmare, and I’m sorry you had to grow up that way.”
They drank the wine and devoured the appetizers Stephanie sent over. Julia ate it all—the calamari, clams casino and goat cheese spread.
Deacon chuckled at her enthusiasm.
Julia took a sip of wine and ventured a tentative glance at him. “This is what I do.”
“What do you mean?”
“When my anxiety is bad like it’s been the last few months, it’s all I can do to eat enough to stay alive.” Embarrassed to be confessing such a thing to him, she looked down at the table.
He put his hand over hers. “It’s okay, Julia. I’m not judging you. I swear I’m not.”
She turned her hand up so their palms were joined and curled her fingers around his hand. “After the anxiety passes, I eat everything in sight, which makes me sick. It’s a rather vicious cycle.”
“I imagine so.”
“I’m really thin right now. Too thin.”
“Maybe so, but I think you’re beautiful no matter what.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “You’ll start to feel better now that you’ve gotten the money back.”
“I already do.” She forced herself to look at him, to acknowledge the intensity of their connection. “Thanks to you.”
“It gave me great pleasure to help you. Since I left the job, that’s the part I’ve missed the most. Helping people. Righting wrongs like what happened to you. Protecting people who don’t have anyone else to look out for them. It was very satisfying work.”
“I’ll bet you were really good at it.”
“I enjoyed it.”
“You must’ve been heartbroken to have to retire early.”
“Completely. It was devastating. I didn’t know who I was without the job.”
“Have you figured that out yet?”
“Nope. Still a work in progress. I’ve been kind of lost without it, to be honest. I like doing the harbor master job, but it’s not the same. People on boats aren’t often in crisis except when they party too much or overdo it in the sun.” He took a sip of his wine, put his glass down and glanced at her, looking serious. “I should tell you the real reason why I’m here this summer so you don’t hear it from someone else.”
“Okay...”
“I was in a bar fight and got arrested.”
“Were you helping someone?”
He tipped his head, seeming intrigued by the question. “In fact, I was.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
“My brother, who bailed me out and made me come to Gansett for the summer, says I have a hero complex.”
“There’re worse things people could say about you.”
“Not according to Blaine.”
“Does his opinion matter so much to you?”
“It matters more than it should. Our dad worked on the mainland, so Blaine took it upon himself to supervise me and our other siblings when my dad wasn’t around. I guess you could say I gave him a run for his money because I didn’t want him telling me what to do. He’s never been able to get past that.”
Julia propped her chin on her upturned fist. “What kind of stuff did you do?”
“You name it, I did it. Drinking, partying, chasing girls, sneaking out of the house, driving too fast, skipping school.”
“You were a bad boy.”
He leaned in, lowered his voice. “Still am.”
“I never did any of that stuff. I was too afraid of what would happen if I got caught.”
“I can teach you how not to get caught.”
Julia laughed. “I bet you know all the tricks.”
“Stick with me, baby. I’ll show you some trouble.”
“I’ve had more than enough trouble, thank you very much.”
“My kind is the good kind.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, the rough caress of his whiskers against her skin setting off a wildfire of reaction inside her. “You need to cut loose a little, have some fun and take some risks.”
“I’m already taking risks. Great big ones.”
“I know, and I’m very determined not to disappoint you.”
“Why me? I’m sure there’re a lot of much less complicated women on this island who’d love to keep you company this summer.” Although, the thought of him with anyone else made her seethe after only a few days. This was not good at all.
He grinned widely, revealing that devastating dimple in his cheek. “Are you already trying to get rid of me?”
“Not at all. I’m just pointing out that you could certainly have anyone you wanted.”
“Is that right?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t know that. In all seriousness… You should know… I’ve got, you know, some rather big issues.”
“Show me someone who gets to be thirtysomething without a few issues.”
“I have kind of a lot of issues.”
“Okay.”
“Be serious.”
“I’m as serious about this—about you—as I’ve been about anything since I left the job, Julia. I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate that you’re s
aying it, but it doesn’t matter to me in any way except I hope maybe someday you might feel better about the things that trouble you.”
She leaned into him, close enough to kiss his cheek. “You’re very sweet.”
“Fuck that. I am not.”
Julia laughed, harder than she had in months. “Yes, you are.”
“Whatever.” Deacon smiled at a man walking by their table and then stood to give him a bro hug. “It’s so good to see you, man. Do you know Julia Lawry? Julia, this is Evan McCarthy. We went to high school together.”
Julia shook hands with Evan, who was tall and dark-haired and had the distinctive McCarthy blue eyes. “I know Evan. He’s Owen’s best friend.” To Evan, she added, “I love your music.”
“Oh, thanks, that's nice to hear. Good to see you again.”
“Are you here for the summer?” Deacon asked.
“Until mid-July. I’m recording some new music at the studio, and Grace needed to check in at the pharmacy before we go back out on tour.”
“You’re a big star these days. I’m surprised you remember us little people.”
“Shut up.” Evan laughed. “Are you hanging out for a bit? Owen and I are going to play.”
“Yeah, we’ll be here.”
“Great. Let’s grab a beer while I’m home.”
“I’d love to. Hit me up. Still got the same number.”
“Me, too.”
Deacon returned to his seat and slid an arm around the back of Julia’s chair. “He’s a good guy.”
“Owen loves him. They’ve been best friends for years.”
Over the next hour, Deacon and Julia ate the delicious food, drank more wine and asked each other silly questions.
“What’s your favorite color?” she asked, feeling buzzed and mellow after the food and wine.
“Red. You?”
“Purple.”
“Dogs or cats?” he asked.
“Duh. Dogs. Sheep or goats?”
He gave her an adorably perplexed look. “Am I supposed to have a preference?”
Julia laughed. “Yes! Goats are the cutest. Have you ever seen baby goats? I’m going to have baby goats at my house someday, but not until I’m settled somewhere permanently.”
“Okay, then, goats it is.”
She smiled triumphantly. “City or country?”
