God, I hate fighting with him. Is this even a fight?
“Smile,” Siva calls over his shoulder.
I plaster a fake smile on my face. He twists the knob and the door opens. Jet strides inside but doesn’t take off like most dogs.
“Rajas! Lila! We’re here!”
No one answers. Siva shrugs his shoulders and looks back at me. Rajas emerges around a corner.
“Son,” he says and smiles warmly. What was this? The Twilight Zone? He pats Siva on the shoulder. Siva looks as perplexed as I do. “You can put your belongings in your room. I’m sure even after all this time you remember where it is.”
And there’s the Rajas I know.
Siva nods and watches his father disappear.
“That was … strange,” he mumbles. He looks down at Jet. “He didn’t even complain about the dog.”
I smile at my husband. “Maybe he really does want to make peace with you.”
Siva laughs but it sounds more like he’s choking and says, “Follow me.”
I follow him up the glass steps to the fourth floor. The glass steps thoroughly freak me out. Siva thinks my reaction is hilarious. I keep making these strange eeping noises.
Once on the top floor Siva leads me down a hallway and opens a door on the end. Two of the four walls are completely glass. A mattress lays in the middle of the floor. The floor is thick white shag, the kind of carpet you want to sink your toes into. Posters of bands and scantily clad women cover the walls. The dresser is covered in clothes, pictures, and books. Books are also stacked in piles on the floor and on top of the black baby grand piano. Pillows cover the bed and the surrounding floor. A calendar on the wall is dated for eleven years ago.
“It’s exactly the same. They didn’t change it,” he breathes. He drops our bags onto the floor. I put my hand on his arm.
Surprisingly, he leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. I feel his tears soak my shirt.
“I figured it would all be gone,” he murmurs into my shoulder.
I rub his neck and tangle my fingers into his hair.
“There’s a part of your dad that loves you Siva. Always know that.”
He nods his head against my shoulder.
“I’ll be back,” he says and heads down the hall. He opens a door and closes it behind him.
I sigh and look at Jet. “It’s just you and me now bud,” I tell him. I sit down on the mattress and Jet plops down beside me letting out a cute doggie sigh. I pat his head and instantly feel calmer.
The room looks nothing like what I would imagine Siva’s childhood room to look like. This is very much the room of a teenager. Except for the piano. I have yet to ever hear him play. I pick up a shirt lying on the floor. Eleven years later it still smells like the Siva I know today. I put it back down before exploring further.
I stand and venture to his dresser. There are framed pictures of happier times. His mother. His sister. His brother. Siva has gone through so much. A crappy father. A catatonic mother. A dead sister. A dead brother. And I know he believes it was all his fault. I hope one day he will learn it isn’t his fault. He never caused this. I pick up a picture of him with his sister. They’re both smiling but there is pain behind both of their eyes. She was pretty and young. She looked like Siva too. There would be no mistaking them as siblings.
Looking at the picture I figure this is why Siva isn’t ready for a baby. He loved his mother, his sister, and his brother with all his heart and only received pain in return. I begin to cry for my broken man. How can he not see the good in himself? How can he not see what there is to love in him? Siva chooses to fixate on the negative whereas I look for the positive. Maybe that’s why we work.
Siva is scared to give his heart, to love and be loved. That’s why he isn’t ready for a baby.
I put the picture back and accidentally knock over a box. The contents spill out and I promptly bend to pick them up.
I blush profusely when I see what had been in the box. Cigarettes, marijuana, lots of condoms, and a white powdery substance I’m pretty sure isn’t sugar. I scoop the items back into the box and put it back on the dresser in what I hope is the right spot. Siva still hasn’t returned so I venture out of his room and close the door. Jet whines behind me.
I walk down the hall and open the door I watched Siva go inside.
“Siva?” I ask, walking into a cloud of steam. I see his dark head sink down into the bathtub.
“What is it?” he asks.
I tiptoe inside. Bubbles flow up and over the pool-size bathtub.
“Are you okay? I was worried.”
The water sloshes and he closes his eyes. “I’m fine. I wanted some quiet.”
My lip trembles and I bite it to stop the movement.
“I’m sorry, Siva,” I mumble. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. I’m sorry for your pain. I’m sorry … I’m sorry for the baby,” I cry and flood the steamy bathroom. I close the bathroom door behind me with a bang and disappear into the first room I come too. I close the door behind me and lean against it for support with my eyes closed.
When I open my eyes I fall to my knees. Dev.
This room had to be his.
When I came here with Dev I had never ventured anywhere except the bottom level and the outside so I never saw his room.
Unlike Siva’s room this one only has one wall of windows. The walls are painted a light gray and photos of different buildings in black and white hang on the walls. Dev was an architect and had loved taking pictures of buildings. His bed has a simple black comforter with white and gray pillows. Where Siva’s room is a mess; Dev’s is military clean. Not even a stain on the white carpet. Looking around the room I find pictures of Dev with his friends and family. There’s one with him standing beside a brooding Siva. So much has changed since then.
“What are you doing?” snaps a voice behind me.
I turn around sharply to find Siva standing behind me, the door now open, with a towel wrapped around his waist. Beads of water trickle down his perfectly sculpted chest.
“I … I …” I sputter.
“Forget it.” He strides away angrily. A moment later the door to his bedroom slams closed. I jump at the noise.
I walk out of the bedroom and stand in the hallway with my arms crossed over my chest.
A few minutes later Siva comes out of the bedroom wearing gray slacks, a tucked in button down white shirt, and a black belt. Impeccable as usual.
He says nothing to me, doesn’t even look at me, as he walks by me and down the steps. I sigh and follow him.
He leads me to the large living room. It’s an imposing space. Two large floor to ceiling windows frame a large fireplace overlooking the cliff and the water below. You can vaguely make out the stone steps leading to the private stretch of beach.
The couch is beige, large, and u-shaped. It dominates the majority of the room. A glass coffee table resides in the open area between the couch. A large grand piano showcases the corner and a huge chandelier sparkles from the middle of the ceiling. In fact, everything seems to sparkle. Even the white hardwood floors sparkle when the light hits them.
Rajas and Lila are on opposite ends of the couch. She’s reading a book and he’s on the phone. Seeing us approach Rajas hangs up.
Rajas opens his arms wide. “Make yourselves comfortable.”
Siva sits down on the couch and I sit beside him. Coldness emanates off of his stiff form.
“How have you two been? I assume the honeymoon was well?” Rajas asks. I see him flick his hand and a moment later a small woman appears with two glasses of lemon ice water. I thank her profusely.
“Good,” replies Siva.
“Fantastic,” I mutter and can’t keep the sarcastic bite from my words. Siva glares at me.
I put my hand on his thigh and rub up and down. I give him an “is this better look”. His eyes remain cool. I give him another look that says, “bite me”.
“That sounds … promising,” says Rajas and
brings his amber drink to his lips.
Siva takes his hand in mine.
“We’re great, really. Just a lot of stress at work. I’m working on a deal with Cornwell Enterprises. It’s been draining. Poor Sloane has had to deal with my mood swings.”
“Yes … your famous mood swings. I did offer to get you some help with that,” Rajas says with a smirk. “Dinner?” Rajas points to the dining room. He stands and expects us all to follow. Which we do … like the good little sheep we are.
Siva storms after him and says in steady voice, “I don’t need any help from the man who pushed me through a fucking window! You sick bastard!”
Rajas lips lift.
“Language, Siva,” I whisper under my breath.
“No,” he says to me. “Sloane, do you see that window there? That one.” He takes my shoulders and spins me to a window in the kitchen, which we can see from the dining room. “My father pushed me through that window and left me for dead. He thinks I’m the one who needs help? That is fucking bullshit! I told you he didn’t invite me here to make ‘peace’. He’s still the same self-centered person he always was.” Siva points to my stomach and then back at his father. “You will not be a part of my child’s life. That’s right,” he says when Rajas looks shocked. “Congratulations, Grandpa.”
Siva shakes his head, clenches and unclenches his hands, and finally walks out of the room and out the door. I watch him disappear down the stone steps to the beach.
I look between Rajas and Lila’s shocked faces.
“I … uh … I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I better go find him.” I don’t know why I apologize to them. They don’t deserve any apologies. Rajas had brought Siva’s outburst onto himself.
I slide the glass door open and stride across the immaculate yard. I don’t even stop to admire the infinity pool or cabana like I normally do. The whole house, including the yard, looks like something a celebrity would have. I guess Rajas thinks he is one.
I go down the steps that were chiseled into the natural stone cliff. I’ve always been slightly frightened by them. They’re steep with no railing and very narrow.
I reach the bottom and my feet sink into sand. I look around for Siva’s dark hair and pristine white shirt. I spot him standing at the edge of the water where it comes up and to lap his bare toes. He’s taken the time to roll up his gray pants. His hands are buried in his pockets and his normally slicked back hair hangs in his face. He looks broken.
I come up to him and put my arms around his waist. I lean into him and he relaxes, putting his arm around me, he has no idea how much that simple gesture means to me.
“Sloane,” he says softly and turns to look at me.
“Yes?” I ask.
He shakes his head and looks back out at the water. The sun is beginning to set making the water look orange.
“Sometimes I feel like … like I’m second best.” He hangs his head. “If Devak hadn’t died you would’ve married him and you’d be having his child right now. Not mine.” He puts his hand to my stomach and leaves it there. “Sometimes I think all of this is a dream and I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone. You won’t be mine.” Tears glisten in his eyes.
“Siva,” I say and my heart breaks for this beautiful man. “You once told me love is hard, painful, and anything but pleasant. I feel that with you. I love you so much it hurts. I didn’t have it with Dev. I loved him, of course, but now… When I look back on our relationship I realize we were more like best friends. He didn’t make my heart speed up like this,” I say and place Siva’s hand over my heart. “He didn’t make my toes curl with a look, he didn’t make me love him and hate him at the same time, and he didn’t leave me breathless. I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the one I want. You’re the one I choose. You are not second best, Siva, do you hear me? You’re not. Even if … even if Dev hadn’t died I still think we would’ve found each other. You’re my heart and my soul. I fell for you and I fell hard and I’m okay if I never get up.”
He grabs me by the back of my neck and presses his lips forcefully against mine. I curl into his body. He puts his other hand against my waist and holds me close to him.
“Oh, baby,” he says pulling away. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I know nothing I ever do will make up for it. I do want this baby and I’ll be the best father I can be. We’re going to be a family and I will love you and our child every second of every day for the rest of my life. I love you,” he murmurs and kisses me again.
Lost in the moment I tangle my fingers in his hair. All my thoughts go out the window. I have my husband back. Nothing else matters.
But then one loud pop! changes it all.
Siva pulls away from my lips and looks around wildly for the source of the noise. I do too. He spots it before I do.
“Get behind me, Sloane,” he warns softly under his breath.
“What—why?”
I turn to see where Siva is looking.
“I missed,” says a pretty brunette. Her red lips pout as she glares at the offending metal object in her hand. “I certainly hope you’re a better shot,” she adds to the person behind her.
“Alexa—” begins Siva and I gasp. This was the woman I caught trying to put the make on Siva. “Put the gun down. You don’t want to do this.”
She smiles prettily. “Oh, I assure you, I do. I loved you. I wanted you. You’re supposed to be mine!” she screams the last part.
“Alexa,” Siva tries again in a calming tone. Alexa turns and I gasp at the man who appears out of the shadows. “MacAuley,” he growls.
“Mac,” I blurt.
Mac smirks at me. “Hello, tease,” he goads. He too, holds a gun in his hand. “And yes, Alexa, I know how to shoot.”
“Oh, God,” I whimper. We’re alone on the beach with two psychos. The house is too far away for us to make a run for it. Besides that, I really don’t want to get shot in the back. I’d much rather see it coming. Okay, maybe not.
Mac turns to glare at Siva. “You ruined me.”
“You did that yourself,” he says in a grave tone. I put my hand on his arm.
“You took everything from me!” screams Mac. “My job! My life! Everything!”
“I don’t think you want to do this then, MacAuley. If you … hurt us then you really will lose everything. How is being locked up behind bars going to solve anything?” Siva asks him. He’s so calm. I don’t know how he does it. I’m shaking like I’m freezing, but I actually feel like I’m on fire.
Mac turns his head slightly to the side and says, “I don’t plan on making it out of this alive.”
Mac lifts the gun in the air. Siva’s eyes widen in horror.
Mac aims and pulls the trigger.
Pop!
The gun is pointed right at me.
“Noooooooo!” Siva screams and blocks my body with his. “Ooomph,” he grunts from the impact and falls to his knees. He puts his hand to his abdomen and his fingers come away red.
“Siva?” I breathe. Shock clouds my vision.
Pop!
Pain courses through my thigh. I can’t stand and I fall into the stand. I look up to see Mac aiming the gun at me yet again. But this shot will be fatal. Siva groans.
I put my hand to my womb as if by that simple movement I can protect the child growing inside me. The pain in my leg is throbbing madly and quickly becoming unbearable. I’m surprised by the amount of blood coating the ground.
“Just get it over with, Mac!” screams Alexa.
Mac smiles. “Certainly, my love.”
This is it.
The end.
It isn’t coming softly.
It’s coming with a bang.
A loud resounding pop.
“Get away from her!” screams Siva with a surprising amount of fire and strength to his voice. Mac turns his attention to the new threat. Siva, weakened, somehow finds the strength the wrestle Mac to the ground and try to get the gun from him. Alexa watches fascinated. Her plump red lips
are twisted into a smile.
I put my hand to my leg and try to stop the bleeding. Black dots scour my vision.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
I watch both men slump to ground. Blood quickly soaks their clothes and the sand. I don’t know whose it was.
Someone’s screaming.
No, not someone, me.
Alexa, satisfied, turns her attention to me. With her foot she twists Siva’s head from side to side. She clucks her tongue.
“What a shame. We could’ve … had something.” She looks regretfully at Siva’s still body. She strides confidently towards me. My grip on my leg becomes tighter and I grimace in pain. Alexa waves the gun in the air. “You know, Sloane,” she begins looking down at me, “this would’ve never happened if you had let him go. Why couldn’t you let him go!” she screams, clearly unhinged. “He was mine! Mine!” Her brown eyes dart wildly around her. I say nothing. I can’t cry. I can’t beg. “You took what was mine!” Calmly she points the gun at me. “I could kill you and no one would find me. I’d get away with it. The authorities would assume it was him.” She flicks her head to Mac’s still form. “You’ll be lost. No one will remember the dead American girl. You’re nothing. Nothing! You don’t matter and now … you won’t exist.” She puts her finger on the trigger.
I close my eyes and wait.
Pop! Pop!
Slowly, I open my eyes.
Alexa glances down at her abdomen in disbelief. Blood courses from her body. Her dark eyes widen in shock before she falls over.
“Sloane?” asks Siva as he crawls in the sand towards me. His voice is weak. He holds his side and his face is contorted in obvious pain. “Sloane?” he asks again.
I take in the horror scene before me. So much blood. It doesn’t seem real.
A new pain joins the one in my leg. I put my left hand to my right shoulder. Blood. She shot me. But it missed its mark when Siva shot her. Instead of fatally wounding me in the chest she got my shoulder instead.
I sway where I sit. I can’t hold myself up much longer. Siva ceases his movement and slumps on the ground. I can’t tell if he’s breathing or not.
I fall back into the sand. The pain is excruciating. I stare at the darkening sky. At the stars blinking in greeting at me.
Temptation Page 24
