“I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I think I’m just going to head home,” I said. “I’ll see you back at the hostel.”
She stared at me for a moment, her smile dwindling as if she knew exactly why I was trying to escape. “Okay,” she said, her voice not so loud anymore.
“See you,” I said, and then I slipped away quickly. My heart was pounding. I felt the gazes of many people watching me as I pushed my way through the crowd, trying to get out. I felt a massive wave of relief once I was around the corner and away from the festivities, like a claustrophobic finally escaping a small box. I wiped some cold beads of sweat off of my forehead, and then I stopped at a bar for a drink before getting back to the hostel to get some sleep.
I decided I would take off in the morning and leave for Frankfurt. I would have liked to spend more time in Cologne, but I really needed to get away from the whole trans chick situation.
CHAPTER VII
I hadn’t fallen asleep yet when Lexi returned from the festivities, but I remained still and with my eyes closed, so that I would have to engage in an awkward conversation about why I left so early. I peeled my left eye open just a crack and saw that she was changing. She didn’t bother turning her back to me, as she likely assumed that I was asleep—or maybe because we’d already fucked, so there was really nothing left to hide. I watched through the tiniest slit of my eyelids as she took off her dirndl and then her bra, exposing her small, perky tits. Then I watched as she reached down and slipped out from her panties, exposing her small, clean-shaven sissy cock. It danced from side to side for the moment before she slipped a new pair of panties on top.
To sleep, she slipped into a cotton t-shirt, and didn’t bother with her little cotton shorts. It was a hot night, and maybe she was feeling more comfortable with me now—okay with having less between her cock and my body. I slowly rolled over, doing my best to pretend like I was just casually rolling over in my sleep. I was now facing the wall, which I figured would get me out of having any near-sex-encounters. I even let a fake snore slip out from my lips.
She lowered herself down into the bed and got herself snuggled up behind me, pressing her chest against my back and her crotch against my bum. I could feel the soft lace of her panties, and the slight bulge of her cock—or maybe that was just in my head. I could definitely feel her warm breath against the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being the little spoon—but I was just happy that my cock wasn’t pressed up against that perfect tush of hers. If it had been, I almost certainly would have gotten hard, and we would have almost certainly ended up fucking. And would that have been a bad thing? Would it maybe be nice to have one last fuck before parting ways forever?
She nestled in close. I could smell that sweet perfume and I could feel the soft skin of her legs rubbing against mine. It was a shame that she was a trap. If she’d been a real woman, maybe a relationship could have worked out between us. Maybe she could have become my travel partner and we could have seen the world together. Then, there would be sex every night—in Frankfurt and Munich and Vienna and Prague and wherever else we ended up. Hostels would be cheaper between the two of us, so the trip would have lasted longer. But I just couldn’t possibly enter into a relationship with a transgender. It was already bad enough that people had seen me out in public with her—and bad enough that the hostel staff knew we were sharing a bed.
I felt a slight pulsing against my bum. I felt something gently pushing and getting harder. That bulge between her legs was stiffening. She was getting an erection. But she wasn’t moving. Was she already asleep? Was she already having a sex dream? It kept pushing against my butt, feeling harder and harder. My heart slipped down into my stomach. I’d never had an erection pressed up against my butt before and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it now. I tried to carefully shimmy myself forward, but I only had a couple of inches before the wall. And it was only a few seconds before she shimmied forward, pressing that cock against my ass again. I thought about waking her up and asking her to turn the other way, but I couldn’t bring myself to enact that kind of cruelty. I just had to live with it. I just had to ignore it and fall asleep. She probably couldn’t help it, and it wasn’t hurting me.
But it felt big now, and it was perfectly nestled between my butt cheeks. Thankfully I was wearing my shorts and my boxers, so I didn’t have to worry about any skin-to-skin contact. I tried to close my eyes so that sleep would take me away, but when I closed my eyes, the strangely mesmerizing image of her bobbing cock came into my head. I still couldn’t figure out why that image was so mesmerizing—and strangely arousing.
I started feeling my own cock getting hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about her beautiful shaft dancing up and down. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she curled her fingers around it, pumping it to make it spew white cream all over those pink bed sheets.
I reached down and carefully tugged down my shorts, along with my boxers. I was only able to get them halfway down my thighs, but that was enough. Then, I reached for her panties. I got a piece of her lace between my thumb and pointer finger, and that was all I needed to pull the little garment aside so that her warm erection could flop out. My heart stuttered as I wrapped my hand around it. She wriggled herself forward slightly—possibly in her sleep, possibly just pretending. I gently pulled back her foreskin, feeling every inch of her long throbber.
What was I doing? Why was I massaging the length of her erection? I’d spent my night trying to get away from her, and now I was fondling her while she slept—maybe I was losing my mind. Maybe I went crazy after Tracy left me, and maybe that’s why so many people were staring at me in public. Maybe they all thought that I was a lunatic. Maybe I was doing crazy things without knowing it, like someone with a bad case of Tourette’s syndrome.
But I couldn’t pry my hand off of that beautiful cock. I kept stroking it, feeling her pumping veins and hard ridges. It was a rugged cock, but smooth and feminine at the same time. I pressed it up against the crack between my butt cheeks and then I let go. Her arm gently wrapped around me, pulling me in close to her soft body. I could feel her perky nipples against my back. “Take off your shirt,” I whispered. She followed the command, proving that she was awake and not just sleep-fucking. I pulled off my shirt as well, so that I could feel those beautiful tits against my back.
She was gently thrusting now, pushing her cock up and down the length of my crack. She lowered that hand that was wrapped around my body and grabbed my erection. She started pumping it. I tried to catch my breath and settle my heart, but my efforts were in vain. My heart was determined to pound relentlessly. Her cock was big—bigger than it looked in that window reflection. I had a feeling it was going to hurt—at least at first.
She took that hand off of my cock, and then I heard her gently spitting into her palm. There was a silence in the room. I didn’t look back, but I knew she was lubricating her stiff rod with that warm spit. I knew I was about to lose my anal virginity, and I wasn’t sure why I was okay with that. I felt her wet, dull tip pressing up between my cheeks. She had no problem locating my tight hole. She lifted my butt cheek, spreading me open, and then she took a deep breath. I took a deep breath of my own. And then suddenly, she was pushing into me, stretching that little hole wide. I gripped a handful of her pink blanket. “Shit,” I muttered.
She kept pushing, slowly, one inch at a time. I did my best not to clench, but it was hard. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel quite right at the same time. I wasn’t sure it was good to be stretched so wide, but I still wasn’t stopping her. I bit down on my tongue and took a deep breath. As I managed to relax my muscles, she managed to sink the rest of her long cock into my body. I gasped. She gripped my cock tight with her hand.
“Fuck me,” I said, and she started thrusting.
I didn’t know why I was letting it happen, and I didn’t know why I was enjoying it so much—but it felt good. I loved the way her throbbing veins felt as they massaged my anal walls. I lo
ved the way her bulbous tip felt every time it was teasing my rim, and then I loved the feeling of her heavy ball sack slapping against my ass. I tilted my head back and to the side, just enough that she was able to kiss me on the lips. We held that kiss for the next thirty seconds as she pumped me harder and harder. Then I started to moan and squirm. I reached back and put my hand on her hip, sinking my nails into her skin. She didn’t seem to mind. I started pushing my bum back with every thrust, making sure I was getting the most of each penetration.
She was still rubbing my cock with her hand, teasing my tip and bringing me closer to orgasm. Pleasure was surging through every part of my body. I was moaning louder and louder but I couldn’t help it. I was nearly convulsing, but she had me pinned against the wall, so that I couldn’t move. I could hear her groaning and I could feel her cock tensing up and bloating. I knew what was coming and I was excited for it, even though it scared the hell out of me.
I came first, blasting hot cum viciously out from my cock. I coated the cement wall, the pink blanket, my own chin, my own chest, and her hand. I couldn’t believe how much cum came out of me—about four times more than I’d ever produced before.
She came a moment later. I could see how much jizz she produced, but it certainly felt like a lot. I could feel each shot inside of me, and I lost count after ten shots. I felt strangely full, like my insides were about to explode. And then she pulled out and I felt a rush of fluid heading for my anus, like a dam had been broken. I tried clenching the cum back, but my anus was too stretched out. The cum ended up pouring down my butt cheek and pooling on the bed.
We were both out of breath. I heard a little giggle slip out from her lips. “That was really nice,” she said between breaths.
“Yeah,” I said. And she was right—it was really nice. And I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I was officially no longer an anal virgin. I’d now been fucked in the ass by a biological male—something I would likely never forget, and something I would likely regret as soon as I was out of Germany.
I didn’t come all the way to Europe to become gay. I didn’t empty out my whole bank account just to have homosexual experiences with men that happened to look like women. I wanted to return to Canada with stories I could tell my friends, and so far, I only had secrets that I would have to keep for the rest of my life.
CHAPTER VIII
It was 6:00 AM and still dark out when I managed to slip out from the bed without waking Lexi up. I crept over to my bag, which was already packed and zipped tight—I’d made sure of it before getting into bed the night before. I carefully hoisted it onto my back and then I slowly opened the door to our room. I looked back at Lexi, who was still fast asleep with a peaceful smile on her face. I still thought that she was beautiful, and I still couldn’t see how anyone could tell that she was really a man—but none of that mattered now. As soon as I was gone, she would cease to exist in my life. I already had an action plan, which involved blocking her number from my phone the minute I was out on the street, and then I was going to set all of my social media outlets to private, so that she wouldn’t be able to find me.
I knew she would get over me. Maybe she would feel a little bit hurt at first, but it was for the best. It was best that I didn’t keep stringing her along, making her think that I actually liked the idea of being together—even though I did kind of like the idea of being together. I’d never had better sex in my life, and she was fun to chat and hang out with. But sadly, our relationship just couldn’t exist in the real world. I had to think about my family and my friends, and I had to think about my image. I wanted to have a bright career, and having a transgender girlfriend could be a stain on that career. It would just take one transphobic manager to make sure that I couldn’t get ahead. And what about kids? I wasn’t sure if I even wanted kids or not, but I wouldn’t end up having kids as long as I was with Lexi—unless of course we adopted. And maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. There are lots of kids that need adopting too, right?
I had to stop thinking about her. Once I was down on the street, I opened up my phone and I blocked her phone number. It had to be done, like ripping off an old Band-Aid. We both needed to move on with our lives and forget about one another.
I got to the train station, but there were no trains leaving for Frankfurt for another four hours, so I wandered over to a nearby café where I spent the next few hours drinking coffee.
A familiar blonde girl came into the café. She was one of the girls I met on the train from Amsterdam. She looked over at me and smiled as she recognized me. I waved her over. “Where are your friends?” I asked.
“We had a bit of a fight. They wanted to go to Paris, I want to keep going east,” she said.
“Where are you headed?”
“Frankfurt. I guess I’m stuck until eleven. And you?”
“Same,” I said.
Her smile grew larger. “Nice! Well maybe we can be travel buddies today.” We chatted for a while. Whenever she was looking away, I found myself looking at her throat, trying to make sure that she wasn’t another trap. I couldn’t stop any Adam’s apple, and her voice sounded perfectly natural. Plus, I noticed a few guys checking her out as they came in for their morning coffees, so I was fairly confident that she was the real deal. And maybe she was the real female partner I was looking for. Maybe she would end up being my travel partner. Maybe we would see the world together, and I could tell all of my friends back home about her and all of the things we did together.
Though she had a few little quirks that I was going to have to get over. My heart stuttered when she pulled a green crystal out from her pocket and stared down at it. “What’s that?” I asked.
“It’s my fate crystal,” she said. “It will vibrate when I’m on the right track.”
I forced a smile. I’d spent months with a girl who had a similar green crystal and a set of similar ridiculous beliefs.
“Do you have the time by any chance?” she asked.
“It’s almost ten,” I said.
“Almost time to meditate,” she said.
But maybe she wouldn’t be so bad. Tracy wasn’t so bad with her spiritualism stuff—until her crystals told her that we needed to break up. Would the same thing happen with this girl?
“You know, I hear there’s a really great music festival in Frankfurt tomorrow. Maybe you want to go with me,” I said. “I think it’s free to get into, and there are some cool bands playing.”
“Music isn’t really my thing,” she said. “But I can go with you. I always love the vibrations at music festivals.”
At least she was better than nothing—someone to talk to, even if she did want to only talk about strange things like crystals and vibrations. And she was cute. Guys were already giving me jealous looks as they walked by. She had the body of a model and the face of an actress. What guy wouldn’t want to be with a girl like her?
I wasn’t sure if our conversation had just died down to a silence, or if she was meditating with her eyes open—but for the last hour before our train ride, there wasn’t a word spoken between us until I said, “We should probably get going if we want to catch that train.”
We walked together towards the train. She reached down to hold my hand. I took her hand and wasn’t surprised to feel that she was still holding a crystal. “If you feel it vibrating, it means that we were meant to be—at least for now,” she said. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I didn’t feel it vibrating. “Do you feel it?”
“Totally,” I said, forcing a smile.
“Me too. I’m so excited,” she said. We got onto the train together, getting a seat near the back. We were only seated for a minute before she slipped her hand over my crotch and began to massage me. “Do you know that sexual energy is one of the strongest energies in the universe?” she asked.
I nodded my head. “I didn’t know that,” I said.
“You’ve got a strong sexual energy,” she said. She slipped her hand down the waistband of my pants and got her s
oft fingers curled around my cock. She wasn’t very delicate as she began to massage and stroke me. She clenched way too hard and she focussed too much of her time around the base of the shaft. I squirmed, trying to make the handjob feel comfortable, but it wasn’t happening. As people got onto the train, I kept sinking down into my seat, worried someone would catch us fooling around.
“Stick your fingers in my pussy,” she said, reaching for my hand. I hesitantly let her push my hand up her skirt. She wasn’t wearing any panties, and her cunt was already wet. But everything about it just felt awkward. I pulled my hand away. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“It’s just weird—we’re in public, and—I don’t know. We hardly know each other.”
“Our spirits have known each other for many years,” she said. And in that moment, I realized I found the blonde terribly unattractive. “The universe brought us together. The universe has a plan. Why do you think it put us on this train this morning?”
She was wrong about her crystal nonsense, but she wasn’t wrong about the universe. The universe really did have a plan, and that plan was obvious. As she was staring at me and waiting for my response, Lexi stepped onto the train. She looked around and then went to sit by herself next to a window. And the universe couldn’t have been clearer.
I don’t know why I was so hung up on appearances. I don’t know why I cared so much about what other people thought. Relationships are about personal connections—they have nothing to do with the judgements of other people. So what if people could tell that Lexi was really a trap? She was beautiful to me, and isn’t that all that matters?
I got up. “Sorry. I never felt any vibrations. I just lied,” I said. The blonde gasped as if she was realizing I was Satan himself. I walked away and took the seat next to Lexi, where I belonged. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I said. She looked at me with a conflicted smile. And then I did my best to explain the truth, telling her about my initial apprehension. “I’ll understand if you don’t want anything to do with me—but I want you to understand that I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. I just want to travel with you.”
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