“Oh. Thanks, Lyd.” I gratefully smile at her. She goes off to get me a towel and I head to the spare bedroom. I don’t fail to notice that Lydia didn’t refer to it as my room, so I’m guessing that she is still angry with me.
I enter the room, and everything is exactly as I left it a few days ago, nothing has been moved. Lydia comes back with a towel and says that she will go and make us a hot drink. I quickly dry myself and get changed into some jogging bottoms and a black jumper.
I look at my phone which is still on the bedside table and pick it up to try and turn it on to see if anyone has called, but there is no charge left in it. Bloody typical.
I place the phone in the pocket of my jogging bottoms. I will just have to check for any messages another time.
I go through to the lounge where Lydia is sitting on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, and she points to my mug on the coffee table. I feel awkward, something that I have never felt in Lydia’s presence before. She gestures for me to sit down next to her. I oblige as I pick up my mug. I take a sip and am grateful for the warm chocolate that heats my insides.
“So, how have you been?” I ask her. I figure this is the best way to try and break the tension between us.
“Not great actually.” Her reply is solemn. Silence engulfs the room and makes it feel smaller somehow. Shit, I should have thought of something else to ask. I mentally curse myself for making things seem more uncomfortable.
“Listen, Lyd––” I am cut off before I can continue.
“No. I need to talk first.” Lydia holds her hands up as she speaks.
I purse my lips together and dread what she may be about to say.
“I’m sorry that I ran out and left you the other day. I just wasn’t expecting to be told something like that. I needed to be on my own and just think things through. I guess it was the shock that made me react like that.
“When I came back here, I found Donnie sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. His face was a mess. He acted like nothing was wrong to start with. Anyway, I tricked him to see if he would tell me the truth, but he didn’t.” Lydia takes a deep breath and pushes her hair away from her face.
“Deep down, I knew that you would never lie about something like that. I knew that I had made a huge mistake by ever letting him into my life. As he was talking, he made my skin crawl. After he gave some piss-poor excuse about being attacked by some random group of men, I let him have it. I shouted at him until I could shout no more. Not for what he had done to me, but for what he had put you through.” Lydia takes a pause and I can see her eyes glaze over. I feel utter relief wash over me that Lydia believes me.
“I told him that I never wanted to see him again, and if I ever did, then I would tell everyone about what he had done. I also said I would notify everyone of the fact that he has a small penis, just for good measure.” I feel a smile pull at my lips when she says the last bit.
“I have been trying to call you ever since that day, but your phone has just been going to voicemail. I thought that you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“Oh God, that’s not the case at all.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and show her that it has no battery. “I left the phone here, Lyd. It’s been in the spare bedroom the whole time. That’s why I never got your calls.”
“Oh.” There are a few beats of silence before Lydia speaks again. “So, do you forgive me?” she asks tentatively.
“There is nothing to forgive you for. I’m just glad that Donnie hasn’t come between us.”
With that, we both stand up and give each other a hug. Tears start to fall down my cheeks as I feel a piece of my life slot back into place. Thank goodness for that. I really thought that we weren’t going to be able to patch things up.
Lydia pulls away first and wipes tears from her own face. “Now, enough of this crying lark. We have wasted too much time talking about that asshole Donnie already. What we should be talking about is that hunk of a man that you have been staying with.”
I am so glad that Lydia doesn’t want to talk about Donnie anymore. He is the last person I want to be thinking about. However, the subject of Jake isn’t exactly a happy one at the moment either.
“Oh, Lyd, it’s all such a mess.” New tears emerge, only this time they are laced with sadness rather than joy.
“Oh, fuck. Start from the beginning,” Lydia says. “We have all night if needs be. I’m not at work tomorrow and, of course, you can stay here. That’s if you want to?” She seems unsure about whether I will or not.
“That would be great. Thank you.”
She smiles at me and I get myself comfortable on the sofa as I proceed to explain to Lydia about all the events that have happened over the last few days. Lydia listens patiently as I pour my heart out to her. I can’t shake off the sense of feeling naïve and stupid. I shouldn’t have let my guard down with Jake. I knew that he was too good to be true.
When Caitlin showed up, I should have just got the hell out of there. I can see that Lydia wants to give her honest opinion, but when I look at the clock it says that it is three in the morning. Where did the time go?
I feel exhausted, so we both decide to pick up this conversation again when we have got some much-needed rest. I give Lydia a hug goodnight before plodding to the spare bedroom. I daren’t call it my bedroom again yet, just in case something else happens to kick me in the teeth. I keep my jogging bottoms and jumper on, and I climb into bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, sleep consumes me.
Chapter Eighteen
I wake up to the sound of Lydia crashing into the spare bedroom. I jolt upright in bed and look over to see that she has fallen over and landed on her ass. I break out into a fit of laughter at the sight of her. I have missed her antics over the last few days.
“Shit, Stace. He’s here! He’s here!” she says breathlessly.
“Who’s here?” I ask, the laughter dying on my lips as I start to panic that Donnie has shown up. The fear in my voice is evident, and my heart starts to beat a little faster.
“Jake.”
“WHAT?” I shout.
“Shhh, he will hear you.”
“Lyd, I’m pretty sure that the entire apartment block heard you fall over just now.” I smile at her.
I also experience a flutter in my stomach at the thought of Jake being near.
“He’s standing outside the front door. Do you want to see him?” she enquires.
I ponder her question for a few moments. One half of me would love to see him, but the other half of me is still hurt by his rejection. I need to remain sensible in my choice.
“No. I don’t want to see him. If he asks, just tell him that you haven’t seen me.” I need to stay strong, for my own sake more than anything.
“No worries, babes. Lydia to the rescue.” She jumps to her feet and bounds out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her on the way out.
I feel nerves start to kick in and those damn butterflies are dancing around frantically inside me. I feel my body hum as I know that he is near. I daren’t move from the bed for fear of making any noise. He can’t know that I am here.
I stay sat in my upright position as I listen to their muffled voices. I am dying to go and use the toilet, but I desperately hold it in. After ten minutes, I hear the front door shut and Lydia comes back into the spare bedroom, taking a seat at the end of the bed. I look at her, waiting for her to speak.
After a few seconds she still hasn’t spoken, and I can be patient no longer.
“Well?” I ask her.
“He came to apologise for his behaviour. I don’t think he believed me when I said that I hadn’t seen you. He asked if he could take you to dinner, to explain things to you.”
“Like hell am I going to dinner with him.” I can’t believe the nerve of the guy.
Does he think that by taking me for some fancy dinner that it will soften the blow of his rejection? Not bloody likely!
“He did look really sorry, Stace. He
doesn’t look like he has slept either. Even so, he still looks dangerously fuckable.” Lydia has a dreamy look on her face and I can’t help but laugh at her. “Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you really feel?”
“No. I don’t want to.” I sigh. I will have to face him at some point considering that he has the majority of my possessions at his house. I’m just not ready to face him today.
“There is no way that I am telling that man anything. I need to forget about Jake Waters. Actually, I need to just forget about men full stop for a while. Plus, I want to spend the day chilling with my bestie. What do you say? Wine and chick flicks?”
“Sounds like a plan to me. What a gripping life we do lead,” Lydia says whilst she gives me a cynical look. I know that I am not fooling her with saying that I need to forget about Jake, but I am trying my hardest to.
“Hey, I will take boring and predictable over the last few days any time.”
“I think on this occasion I have to agree with you. I will nip out and get some wine, and I’ll pick up some nibbles too.” Lydia stands and goes to walk out of the room, but she pauses at the door and turns back to face me. “Just promise me that you will think about speaking to Jake. I know you don’t want to do it right now, but you might change your mind in a few days. He seems genuine.” She then bounces out of the room before I can reply. I choose to ignore what she just said. I need to focus on myself for a bit.
I get out of bed and go to the bathroom to relieve myself now that Jake has gone. Lydia calls out that she is leaving and that she will be back as quick as possible. I finish up in the bathroom and go to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Whilst waiting for the kettle I go back to the spare bedroom to find my phone charger, only to find Jake sat on the end of the bed.
I give a high-pitched shriek at the shock of him being in here. My heart is racing, and it takes all my energy to try and remain calm.
“What the hell are you doing here?” My shock is quickly overtaken by anger.
He looks at me with dark bags under his eyes. Lydia was right, he doesn’t look like he has slept. I have to agree with her on the still looking dangerously fuckable part too.
I push any sexual thoughts out of my mind so as not to cloud my judgement.
“How dare you barge in here. Who do you think you are?” I rage.
Jake may not be the kind of guy to take orders from people, but actually entering a property without permission is pushing the boundaries ever-so-slightly.
“Stacey, I came to say that I am sorry for how I handled things last night. It was wrong of me to push you away like that. I can’t imagine how you must have felt.”
“You can’t? Well, let me give you a hint, shall I? Hurt, confused, rejected, do I need to go on?” I am so angry. How dare he invade my space and privacy like this.
“No, I get it. I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to explain stuff to you over dinner, but a part of me knew that you wouldn’t agree to that. I knew that Lydia was covering for you by saying that she hadn’t seen you. I had to find a way of speaking to you, Stace.” He sounds desperate, but in my irate state I couldn’t care less.
“So you just come in here uninvited? Do you respect anyone’s privacy, Jake?”
“Of course I do, but like I said, I needed to speak to you.”
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” I’m being stubborn. Of course I want to hear what he has to say, but I don’t want to make it easy for him.
“In that case, I think that it’s best that you don’t stay with me anymore.” His tone turns cold and flat. I wasn’t expecting that to be his next line at all. Anger flares up within me again.
“Oh, you don’t? And I suppose you thought that by taking me to dinner that you would have done your best to break this news to me gently?” Sarcasm drips from my voice. “Well, let me make this easy for you. I wouldn’t come back to yours if you paid me. I will collect my stuff as soon as possible.” I can hear myself speaking and I don’t like what I hear. This isn’t me. This is just pent up anger over this whole situation.
“It’s okay, I’ll have all your stuff sent over here for you. There’s no need for you to come to the house.” He doesn’t look at me as he speaks.
If I thought that I couldn’t hurt anymore, I was wrong. It is like a stabbing to my heart. What did I do to make him behave this way towards me? Maybe his psycho ex was right about how things went down with them the other night? Maybe he is the one who is lying?
“Fine. Now, please will you leave. I have nothing more to say to you.” I look away from him and stare out of the window.
I can’t bear to watch him walk out of here knowing that I won’t see or speak to him again.
I hear him stand and walk to the bedroom door.
“Goodbye, Stacey,” are his final words to me. I don’t answer him. I couldn’t answer him even if I wanted to. My throat feels like it has closed up. My life just keeps going wrong. I don’t understand what I did to deserve this.
I feel my heart breaking, but I don’t understand why it hurts so much.
Chapter Nineteen
Lydia comes back to find me curled up on the sofa with my duvet wrapped around me, and used tissues strewn about the place.
“Christ, Stace, what happened to you? I wasn’t gone that long, was I?”
“I saw Jake,” I say sadly as more tears threaten to emerge.
“I’ll go open the wine,” Lydia says, and she goes into the kitchen without saying another word.
All I seem to have done this week is cry. I’m surprised that I have any tears left.
Lydia returns with two large glasses of rose wine and makes me sit up so that she can sit next to me. Lydia gets snuggled under my duvet with her drink and I inform her of what happened when I found Jake in the bedroom. There isn’t much to tell though, so it doesn’t take long for me to relay it all to her.
“Shit. I thought he had left when I told him that you weren’t here. I thought I was convincing. There was no sign of him when I went out. The sneaky sod must have been waiting along the corridor,” she says, almost as if she is just clarifying her own thoughts out loud.
“Why do I feel like this, Lyd? I’ve never had feelings like this before, not even with Charles in our earlier days.” I am desperate for answers, but nothing is coming to me. Whatever the reason is for me feeling like this, I sure as hell don’t like it, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
“Far be it for me to point out the obvious, Stace, but I think you have developed feelings for this guy that are a lot stronger than you may have realised.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve only known him for a few days.”
“So? Who’s to say how long it takes to fall for someone. It can happen in an instant,” Lydia says, ever the romantic even after her failed relationships. I think about her words, but I can’t admit to myself just how much I like him.
I drain my wine glass and get up off of the sofa to go and pour myself another one. The doorbell rings whilst I’m mid-pour. I put the wine bottle down with a sigh and I go to answer the door. Surely nothing else can go wrong today?
I open the door to find two men standing there. I have never seen these guys before in my life.
“Stacey Paris?” the tall, bald one asks me. He looks rather menacing and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck prickle.
“Uh, yeah, that’s me.” My eyes turn to look at the shorter man. He is far stockier than the tall one but looks just as hard-faced.
Who the hell are these guys? And how do they know my name?
“We have your belongings from Mr Waters. We will start to bring the stuff up.” Neither of them says anything else and they both turn around and head back down the stairs to, I presume, get all of my belongings. These guys certainly get to the point quickly. And Jake certainly isn’t wasting any time in making sure that I am out of his life.
Lydia appears in the lounge doorway, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Who is it no
w? It’s like Piccadilly Circus in here today,” Lydia exclaims.
“It’s my stuff from Jake’s. Some guys are dropping it off.”
“Seriously?” She looks just as flabbergasted as I feel. “Ugh, what an asshole. He didn’t hang around, did he?” Lydia’s words near enough echo my thoughts from a moment ago.
“Better to get it done and out of the way I suppose,” I say to her with a shrug of my shoulders. If Jake doesn’t want me in his life, then that’s his loss.
The two guys return, carrying a large box each. I direct them to the spare bedroom and tell them to pile as much in there as they possibly can. Of course the bedroom won’t be big enough for everything, so Lydia says that the rest can go in her bedroom for now.
It doesn’t take long for the meaty looking men to bring my stuff up, and when they have finished, I thank them and close the door as they leave.
“More wine, Lydia. I’ve got a lot of sorting out to do.”
“I’m on it, babes,” Lydia says before she disappears into the kitchen.
I survey the boxes before me; my whole life packed in them. What a truly pathetic sight it is.
I start going through the boxes in my room first, so that I can make room for the ones that are residing in Lydia’s bedroom. Most of the boxes are full of clothes and I start making three separate piles; one for charity, one for rubbish, and one for the stuff that I am going to keep.
I am halfway through the first box when Lydia returns with the wine. I gratefully take my glass off of her and take a long sip.
She watches me for a few moments before she speaks. “Hey, why don’t you come to The Den with me tomorrow? We could sort out some shifts for you?”
To say that I am surprised at her suggestion is an understatement, and I almost spit my mouthful of wine at her.
“I don’t know, Lyd. The Den doesn’t exactly hold the greatest of memories for me at this moment in time.” I shudder as a picture of Donnie forms in my mind. I shake my head to try and rid myself of the image.
The Complete Perfect Series Page 11
