“No pressure then,” I reply sarcastically. I need to change the subject. “I’m going to go and grab a drink. Do you want one?”
“Yes please, babes,” Lydia answers as she fires up her computer. “Just a diet coke though. I need to keep a clear head.” I nod and leave her office to go back to the main room.
I look around the place that I used to love so much. There is no sign of John in the main room, but his paperwork is still on the bar counter.
I busy myself pouring mine and Lydia’s drinks and I place them on the bar. Before I realise what I am doing, I find myself walking towards the ladies’ toilets. My feet come to a stop as I stand and look down the corridor where Donnie attacked me, and flashbacks start to appear.
His hands on my body.
His breath on my face.
His words come back to taunt me.
“You always have been a fucking tease, Stacey… She wants this just as much as I do.”
I close my eyes and try to push the memories away. Anger surges through me, and my body starts to tremble as I fight the urge to run.
I open my eyes and slowly walk down the corridor, stopping at the exact spot where he had me pinned against the wall. My breathing quickens, and I tell myself that he isn’t here. No one is here to get me.
I collect my thoughts as I realise that the anger I am feeling has replaced any fear that I had. That bastard shouldn’t be allowed to taint my memories of this place. Adrenaline pulses through me as I march back to the bar, pick up mine and Lydia’s drinks, and head back to her office.
“Count me in,” I say, startling Lydia.
“Pardon?” She looks at me confused.
“Count me in for Saturday night. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that wanker stop me from doing a job that I enjoy.”
Lydia starts bouncing up and down on her seat and claps her hands together before standing up and coming over to hug me. I hold the drinks out either side of me, so I don’t spill any.
“That’s fab, babes. It will be just like old times.”
I feel a new emotion flow through my body. I am ready to battle my demons. Donnie is the first one that I need to get rid of, and I think that by revisiting the scene in which he assaulted me, I am halfway there.
Once I have battled that demon, I need to concentrate on battling my feelings for Jake.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lydia and I arrive back at the flat at six o’clock. Paul is picking her up for their date at eight, so I know that the next two hours will consist of watching Lydia trying on her entire wardrobe whilst I tell her that she looks great in every outfit. She really does have some fabulous clothes. I am so glad that we are the same size, meaning that I can always borrow them to wear.
Whilst Lydia has a shower, I go to my bedroom and put my pyjamas on. I intend to be a complete slob this evening. I laze around on the sofa watching re-runs of Friends as I wait for Lydia’s fashion show to begin. The second episode of Friends comes on when Lydia sweeps into the room, carrying several outfits. Let the fashion show commence.
It takes her an hour to choose the outfit that she is happy with and she looks gorgeous in a dark blue halter-neck jumpsuit.
“You look amazing,” I say to her. Her auburn hair has been styled in delicate waves, her make-up is perfect, and her shoes are to die for. Silver heels that sparkle, and they are Lydia’s most prized fashion possession. These shoes only ever come out for special occasions, so I know that she is seriously trying to impress Paul. She finishes the outfit off with a silver clutch bag.
“Are you sure that it isn’t too much?” she asks me.
“Honey, you are going to Claringtons, nothing is too much. Plus, you are going to be the most gorgeous person in the whole restaurant.”
“I’m a little nervous, you know,” she replies. This is very unlike Lydia. She is normally extremely confident when it comes to men. “I really like Paul. He makes me feel different.”
“That’s probably because he treats you with respect, Lyd. I can tell that he really likes you too. It’s obvious from the way he looks at you.” The doorbell rings and I think Lydia is going to have a panic attack from the look on her face. “Go to the bathroom and calm down. I’ll go and let him in.”
Lydia runs off to the bathroom and I go and answer the door. Paul stands there looking very handsome in a black shirt, black tie and charcoal grey suit.
“Hey, Paul, come on in. Lydia will be ready in a minute.”
“Thanks.” He looks on edge. Maybe he is nervous too?
“Would you like a drink whilst you wait?” I ask him.
“No, I’m good thanks.” We stand awkwardly in the hallway, waiting for Lydia to appear. I try to think of something to say but words evade me. I have never been one for idle chit-chat.
Lydia emerges from the bathroom a few moments later, and the look on Paul’s face is priceless.
“Wow. You look beautiful,” he says as he walks up to her and places a kiss on her cheek. Lydia’s cheeks blush as she thanks him.
“Okay, let’s get going,” she says to Paul. Paul takes Lydia’s hand and leads her out of the flat. On her way out, Lydia turns and blows me a kiss.
“Have fun, guys,” I shout after them. I close the front door and head to the kitchen for a take away menu and decide to order in pizza. I phone my order through to my favourite pizza place and order my usual; a barbecue chicken pizza. After I’ve done that, I settle back on the sofa to see what films are showing and see that Magic Mike is on, so I decide to ogle Channing Tatum for the next hour or so.
Twenty minutes later there is a knock at the door. Thank God for that, I’m bloody starving. My stomach grumbles as I grab my purse from my bedroom before going to the front door. I am busy fumbling with my purse to pay the delivery guy as the door opens, but when I look up, I see that Jake is standing there and he is holding my pizza.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I can feel my heart rate accelerating.
We just stand and stare at each other. I try to calm my breathing and appear unaffected by him standing there, but I am a complete wreck at the unexpected sight of him.
“Um, Jake, why are you delivering my pizza?” I ask.
“I’m not really delivering it as such. I just… I just…” He can’t seem to find the words that he needs to say. It is now that I notice that some of Jake’s confidence seems to have left him. He looks uncomfortable and is fidgeting slightly from foot to foot.
“You better come in,” I say as I back away from the door to let him pass. Jake strides through the door and I close it behind him. I smell his aftershave as he walks past, and it does things to my insides. I realise at this point that I look like shit. My hair is chucked up into a ponytail and I am wearing my oversized pyjamas.
Crap, this is why you should always be prepared, I tell myself.
Although, I never thought that I would need to be prepared for Jake to show up on my doorstep, so I can forgive myself for this faux pas.
“Um, would you like a drink?” I ask him. I figure I need to say something in order to break the ice between us, and a drink is the only thing that comes to mind right now.
“That would be great, thanks. Just a cold drink will be fine.” I see his shoulders relax a little at my offer of a drink.
“Go on through to the lounge and I will be there in a sec.” I go to the kitchen, place my purse on the side, grab two glasses and a bottle of diet coke. My hands are shaking slightly from the shock of seeing him.
What could he possibly want?
I go to the lounge and set the glasses down on the coffee table. I manage to pour the drinks without spilling them everywhere, and then I take a seat on the sofa. I put my hands between my knees so that Jake can’t see that I am shaking. Jake has chosen to sit in the armchair that is situated opposite the sofa. That’s good. Distance is good. Jake’s eyes bore into mine, but he makes no move to start a conversation. It looks like I am going to have to be the one to get
the ball rolling.
“What are you doing here, Jake?”
“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” He looks at me with sadness in his eyes.
“Oh.” A wave of disappointment goes through me. What was I hoping he would say? Was I hoping that he would grab me and make love to me as if nothing had happened?
Stop it, Stacey, this is no time to be having those kinds of thoughts.
I clear my throat and answer him. “I’m good thanks. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“It’s just… With the way that I treated you yesterday, I thought––”
“You thought what?” I cut him off. “That I would be a wreck? That I would be crying all over the place?” My defences rise at his presumption that I would be a mess without him in my life.
“No, I wasn’t thinking that at all.” Jake looks panicked. “I just don’t feel that I was very fair to you. I never should have acted the way that I did. I shouldn’t have treated you like that after the way things were left at my place.”
My mind quickly wanders back to both of us in the bathroom. His kisses, his eyes, his body. I feel my sex clench at the mere thought of it. I need to know why he rejected me after he initiated the kiss between us, and I decide to voice the issue that has been bugging me since that night.
“Why did you push me away, Jake?” I need to be strong. I need to hear his explanation. Jake runs his hands through his hair and looks at the floor.
“Things are not easy for me, Stacey. I have never had a connection with a woman like I have with you,” he starts, and I notice that I am holding my breath. I slowly exhale as I listen to his words. “I know that it sounds crazy, but it’s how I feel. I pushed you away because I am scared of hurting you, and I really wanted to keep you as a friend. If things were to go further with us, then I’m afraid that you would end up hating me.”
Jake takes a sip of his drink before he carries on. “Although, I made you hate me anyway.” He looks deep into my eyes at this point, and I feel like he is looking inside my soul. My heart is pounding, and adrenaline is surging through me.
“I don’t hate you, Jake.” He looks shocked and his eyes go wide. “You have hurt me, but I don’t hate you.”
“Why not? I acted like a complete asshole.”
“Yes you did,” I agree with him. “I just think that we got carried away with our emotions that night. What with what happened with Donnie and Caitlin, I just think that we were looking for some kind of comfort. I don’t think that it meant any more than that.” I am lying my ass off, but I hope that I can convince him otherwise.
“Really? That’s what you think?” He sounds dubious and I nod my head at him.
“I understand that you don’t trust many people. It’s obviously a difficult thing for you to put your trust in others. But at some point, Jake, you need to let go of that fear and stop pushing people away. I think our connection is strong because we are meant to be in each other’s lives. We are meant to be friends. And friends mess up and then they forgive each other. That’s just how it works.” I smile at him and I see him physically relax in the chair.
“You mean, we can still be friends after what I did?” He looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language and he doesn’t quite understand what I am saying.
“Of course we can. You kind of did me a favour actually, because it made Lydia and I sort everything out.”
“Glad to be of service.” We both burst out laughing. I am not angry with him anymore. Now that he has explained himself, I understand why he did it. If only he had told me that to start with.
I may not have known him for very long, but it’s almost like there was a small void in my life without him. I may have feelings for this guy, but I would rather have him as a friend than as nothing at all.
“Want some pizza?” I ask as I open the box. The tenseness of the last ten minutes has dissipated.
“I thought you would never ask.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
I make Jake watch the whole of Magic Mike as punishment for being an ass. Needless to say, he isn’t too pleased with the idea, but he’s being a good sport about it. It’s the least he can do. I think it’s hysterical, especially when the actors start stripping off.
“How’s your arm now?” I ask him as the film comes to an end.
“It’s better. I had it looked at today and the bandage can hopefully come off in the next couple of days. The doctor seems to think that there will be minimal scarring.”
“That’s good news. Well, apart from the scarring part. Caitlin sure wanted to leave her mark on you, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, well, it’s my own fault for getting involved with her in a non-professional manner.”
“No it’s not. Just because you don’t want to be with her doesn’t give her the right to go all psycho on you. You mustn’t blame yourself for her poor mental health.” He can’t possibly think that her behaviour can be excused? I look horrified at the thought, but he just hits me with his stunning smile. “Why are you smiling about it?”
“I’m not smiling about that. I’m smiling at you.”
“Me?” I have no idea where he is going with this.
“Yeah, you. Even with me behaving like a bastard towards you, you’re still willing to see the good in me. No one has ever been like that towards me before.” My heart goes out to him. How can people not see the good in him?
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for nice eyes and a bit of charm.” My tone is playful, and he laughs at my statement. This feels nice, and it feels right. “So, I start work again on Saturday night.”
“Where are you working?” Jake asks me.
“At The Den with Lyd.”
“Seriously? Is that a good idea with what happened there?” Jake looks concerned by this turn of events.
“It’s fine. I went there today with Lydia whilst she was catching up on some paperwork. I found myself standing and looking down the corridor where Donnie assaulted me. I didn’t feel any fear, I just felt so angry. I used to love working there before I moved in with Charles. I don’t want to let what happened with Donnie take that away from me. I’ve got some great memories of that place, and I don’t want one bad night to taint it.” I don’t want Jake to try and put me off of the idea of going back to work there. I have made up my mind and I’m going to stick to it.
“If you’re sure, then I’m pleased for you. Just be careful though, Stace. There are still guys out there that won’t care about your personal space.”
“I’ll be fine. Plus, security know not to let Donnie in ever again and I’m sure Lydia will have them keeping tabs on me to start with. I’m not going to let it break me, Jake. I also need a job and working with Lyd again will be awesome.”
“Any trouble and I want you to tell me. I mean it.” Jake looks and sounds deadly serious. His intense gaze is a little bit arousing. I feel a strange sense of comfort knowing that he is worried about me. It’s crazy how we have got past our falling out like it never happened.
“Okay.” I smile at him and he grins back at me like a Cheshire cat. A worried looking Cheshire cat that is. “So what––” I am cut off by the sound of the front door opening and I hear Lydia giggling.
“Sounds like they had a good time,” I say to Jake. Lydia and Paul walk into the lounge with massive smiles on their faces. When Lydia clocks Jake, her mouth drops open.
“Oh, hey, guys,” she says. She surveys the scene and studies us both in turn. “Am I sensing something going on here?” I need to shut down her over-active imagination, and quick.
“If you are sensing that Jake came by to apologise and then we ate pizza and watched a film, then you would be correct.”
“Oh right. Sooooo, you two are all good now?” Lydia sounds a little wary and is looking at me for an answer.
“Yeah, we’re fine, Lyd. Jake knows that he was a complete idiot for the way he acted.”
“Hey!” Jake feigns a look of hurt and I roll my eyes at him.
“What? It’s the truth,” I say, smiling.
“Yeah, I have to agree with Stacey on this one, Jake,” Lydia chimes in.
“Okay, I think that’s enough for one night,” Jake says as he stands up. “I think it’s time for this idiot to leave.” He’s being playful, and I love it. I stand up as Jake walks to the lounge doorway. “Are you staying Paul?”
“Uh…” Paul looks dumbfounded at Jake’s question.
“We’re just gonna have a night-cap before Paul goes home,” Lydia says, coming to Paul’s rescue. I resist the urge to laugh and Jake smirks, giving me a wink.
“Well, enjoy your night-cap, guys. Do you want to see me out, Stace?”
“Sure.” I get up off of the sofa and follow Jake to the front door. He opens it and then turns around and gives me a hug. I stiffen to start with, but I soon relax as his body presses against mine. What I wouldn’t give to be in the same situation as Lydia and Paul right now.
“Thank you for forgiving me,” Jake whispers in my ear.
“You still need to make it up to me, Waters. Magic Mike and a pizza just doesn’t cut it,” I whisper back jokingly. Jake stands back and releases me.
“Hmm, I will have to think about that one. Goodnight, Stace.”
“Night, Jake.”
I close the front door behind Jake as he leaves, and I lean against it. I collect my thoughts for a few moments before I go to tell Lydia that I am going to bed. I reach the lounge doorway and see Paul and Lydia kissing on the sofa, so I decide to just go to my bedroom without disturbing them. I get into bed with a smile on my face.
Today has been a productive day. I have my car back, I have a job, and I have Jake back in my life.
For the first time in nearly a week, I go to sleep feeling content.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I wake up feeling as fresh as a daisy. I had a great night’s sleep. Today is Saturday and I have my first shift back at The Den tonight. I am up, showered and dressed when Lydia comes walking into the kitchen.
The Complete Perfect Series Page 13
