“No. Lydia wanted to look after you anyway.” I can see that he is panicking slightly at dropping Lydia in it.
“Fucking hell, Jake. You have both kept this from me. I should have been told.”
“I’m sorry. We just thought that it was best not to stress you out any more than you already were.” He looks genuinely sorry, but I can’t see past my anger at the moment. “I am just as angry about the situation as you are. They never should have let her go, and I told them so.” Jake’s hand comes up to my face and cups my cheek. My eyes lock with his and I feel like all of the air has left my body.
“I won’t let her hurt you again. Please believe me when I tell you that.” I feel tears sting the backs of my eyes. The funny thing is, I do believe him. The familiarity I felt earlier is back, and I know deep down that he isn’t just trying to make me feel better. He means every word that is coming out of his mouth.
I fight back the tears and simply nod my head at him. I have no words left. Just when I think that I can’t be surprised or confused any more, I am.
I close my eyes and let my head fall against the head-rest. I am tired. Tired of being kept in the dark. Tired of having to try and piece the last few weeks of my life back together. And I’m tired of being in pain, mentally and physically.
Jake removes his hand from mine and I feel the car start to move. I don’t ask where we are going because I really don’t care. Wherever I go now, I am going to feel trapped. Caitlin still has her freedom, but I don’t.
It seems that I am going to be living this nightmare for a while longer yet.
Chapter Fifteen
Stacey
I keep my eyes closed for the entire car journey. When the car stops, I open them to be greeted by the sight of a stunning looking house. I don’t recognise the building.
“Where are we, Jake?” I ask.
“We are at my house. I thought it would be best for you to get some head space before returning to the flat.”
“How thoughtful.” My tone is sarcastic, and I sound like a bitch. “I’m sorry,” I say quickly.
“It’s okay. You have had a few shocks today.” Jake is being so nice to me that it makes me feel even worse.
“Even so, I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” I give him a small smile, which he returns. Even in my stressed-out state, I can appreciate how dazzling his smile is. I bet he has women falling at his feet everywhere he goes.
“Better me than Lydia right now.” The mention of Lydia annoys me. She’s meant to be my best friend. She should have been the one to tell me that Caitlin is still out there.
“I don’t want to talk about Lydia.” I sound like a stubborn brat.
“Fair enough. Come on, let me show you around my house, again,” Jake says, breaking some of the tension between us. He gets out of the car and I unbuckle my seat-belt. He comes around to my side, and once again he lifts me out of the car. He then picks my handbag up and hands it to me.
“Thanks,” I say. I follow him up the steps to the front door and I wait whilst he unlocks it. He pushes the door open and steps aside, gesturing for me to walk in front of him.
“After you,” he says. I walk in and am standing in a hallway that is decorated to the highest standard. I hear Jake close the door behind me. “The kitchen is the last room at the end of the hallway. I don’t know about you, but I could do with a coffee right now.”
“Sounds good.” I walk along the hallway and reach the last door, and I walk through it to enter the most beautiful kitchen that I have ever set foot in. The room is huge, and there is a kitchen island in the middle which I place my handbag on. Jake walks over to one of the worktops and starts fiddling about with, what I presume, is the coffee machine.
“Black, no sugar?” he asks me.
“Yes, please.” Of course he knows how I like my coffee. It’s so unfair that I know nothing about him.
I run my fingers over the worktop of the kitchen island. The surface feels so smooth, and I get the feeling that I have been in this room before. I know that Jake has told me that I’ve been here, but I actually feel it within me.
I perch on one of the stools that are next to the island and I continue to scan my eyes across the room. Anything could be a trigger.
Jake walks over with the two cups in his hands and places them on the worktop. He then sits down on the bar stool next to me.
“Anything else coming back to you at all?” he asks sounding hopeful that it might be.
“No.”
“Oh.”
“But…” I see his eyes light up a little at my use of the word ‘but.’ “I know deep down that I have been here before. It’s still hazy, but this place feels familiar. Does that sound weird? I haven’t been making much sense lately.”
“No, it doesn’t sound weird. I’m pleased that you get a familiar feeling with this place.” He gives me a heart-stopping grin and I have to stop myself from leaning over to kiss him.
“Why don’t you take a walk around. Maybe it will help to explore the whole house?” he suggests.
“Okay. I won’t be long.”
“Take your time. I’m just going to answer a few emails whilst I drink my coffee.”
“Okay.” I stand up off of the stool and exit the kitchen. I enter the hallway and go to a door on my left. When I open it, I see that it is a cosy lounge. I scan the room, but nothing is coming back to me. I repeat this in every room that I come to, on this floor and on the first floor. I still have the familiar feeling, but apart from that there is nothing.
I walk up the flight of stairs to reach the second floor. There are only two doors on this floor, one on each side of the hallway. I decide to explore the room on my left first. I get to the door and push it open. It’s a bedroom.
Is this Jake’s bedroom?
At the thought, a shiver goes down my spine. I walk further into the room and stop at the edge of the bed. I feel that I should have asked Jake permission before I came in this room. It is clearly his bedroom. A man’s watch lies on the bedside table and there is a photo frame behind it. I go over and pick up the frame to be greeted by the sight of my smiling face.
When was this photo taken?
I am led on a bed, which I presume is this one, and my face is peeking out from behind the quilt. My body is covered except for my left leg, which is hooked over the quilt as I am led on my side. The smile on my face is natural. I don’t know how long I stand there and stare at the photo of myself, and it isn’t until I hear Jake walking along the hallway that I am brought back to reality. His masculine frame appears in the door way.
“So, you found my bedroom then?” he teases, playfully.
“Yeah.” I sound miserable.
“Hey,” he says softly as he walks over to me. He sees that I have the photo frame in my hand and he smiles. “That was taken just before the attack,” he informs me.
I look up at him and I see a range of emotions flicker through his eyes. I see hurt, anger, confusion, frustration and love. From what I know about Jake so far, I can see why I must have fallen for him.
I place the frame back on the bedside table and turn so I am completely facing Jake. His hands are in his trouser suit pockets and his hair is slightly ruffled. I don’t know whether I am about to do the right thing or not, but I know that I need him in this moment.
I close the gap between us and search his eyes. As our bodies connect, chest to chest, I hear him hitch a breath of air. I erase any thoughts from my mind, apart from the one where I want to kiss him. I reach up my left hand and place it behind his neck, and he closes his eyes at the touch of my fingers on his skin.
Whilst his eyes are closed, I place my lips on his. I apply gentle pressure and the feel of his soft lips on mine makes my sex stir. When he doesn’t stop me, I put my other hand behind his neck and deepen the kiss a little. I feel him place his hands on either side of my hips which gives me goose-bumps.
This feels right.
I don’t question what I am doin
g, I just go with it. I open my mouth so that Jake’s tongue can explore me further. With our tongues entwined, I feel like I never want this embrace to end. I move my hands into Jake’s hair as our kiss becomes more frenzied. Jake lets out a small groan at my actions and I relish in being able to make him do that. I feel my lips shape into a smile against his mouth. This feeling is incredible.
How could I have forgotten how good this sensation feels?
I forget all about my injury as I push my body into his. Jake’s hands snake around my waist so that his arms are locked around me. Unfortunately, it is at this moment that I feel a sharp pain in my side. I break our contact and suck in a mouthful of air. Jake loosens his grip on me but he doesn’t completely let go. My hand goes to my side to gently hold it whilst I breathe through the pain.
“Stace, what’s wrong? Have I hurt you?” Jake asks in a panicked voice.
“No, no. I just need a minute for the shooting pain to pass.” Jake manoeuvres me so that I am sat on the edge of his bed. “My painkillers are in my handbag. Could you get them for me?”
“Sure.” Jake leaves the bedroom in a hurry to go and get my handbag which I left on the kitchen island. I close my eyes and concentrate on blocking out the pain as much as I can. Jake comes back a few moments later, carrying my handbag and a glass of water. I take my handbag off of him and find my tablets. My hands are shaking which makes getting the tablets out more difficult, and Jake takes them off of me.
“Two?” he asks, referring to how many tablets I am able to take. I nod at him as I continue to breathe through the pain.
“Thank you,” I say as I take the tablets from him, putting them in my mouth and taking a few sips of water to swallow them down before placing the glass on the bedside table. I feel exhausted. I think the last few hours have taken their toll.
“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Jake asks me.
“No, no.” That is the last place that I want to go. “It’s my fault for not taking my tablets on time,” I say as I look to the bedside clock and see that I should have taken them about an hour ago.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” I smile at him to help try and reassure him.
“Why don’t you have a lie down? You look tired.” I get the feeling that Jake doesn’t want me to leave yet.
“Okay,” I say. I don’t particularly want to leave yet either. We still have a lot to talk about. If I get some rest then we will be able to talk later, like we had planned to. Jake helps settle me in his bed.
“I will leave you so that you can get some rest.”
“Thanks, Jake.” He smiles at me and I curse my injury for interrupting our embrace a few moments ago.
“If you need anything, just give me a shout,” he says before he turns and leaves the room. I pull the quilt up so that only my head is showing. I close my eyes and replay our kiss in my head. I don’t know how many times I replay it before I drift off to a state of blissful sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
Stacey
I wake up and the room is dark. I groggily look around my surroundings, and it comes back to me that I am in Jake’s bedroom, but there is no sign of him in here. I look to the clock on the bedside table and see that it is just gone ten past seven.
How long have I been asleep?
I sit up and take a sip from the glass of water on the bedside table. I listen for any noises coming from anywhere in the house, but I can’t hear anything. I slowly stand up and walk to the hallway. The lights in the hallway are dim, which I am grateful for. As my eyes adjust to the dim lighting, I make my way down the stairs until I reach the ground floor. The lounge door is shut, so I make my way to the kitchen.
As I enter the room, I see that Jake is sat at the kitchen island, tapping away on his laptop, and I clear my throat to make him aware of my presence. He turns around and flashes his mega-watt smile at me.
“Hey, you’re up. You feeling better?” he asks. I wander over to where he is sat, and I stop by the edge of the island.
“Much better. How long was I out for?”
“About four hours.”
“Really?” I can’t believe that I slept for so long.
“Yeah. You obviously needed the rest, so I decided not to wake you. How’s your side feeling now?”
“It’s fine. All pain gone.” I smile and Jake gestures for me to take a seat next to him.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks me.
“No, I’m good thanks.” I start fidgeting with my hands as the memory of our kiss comes into my mind. I can feel a slight blush graze my cheeks.
“I was about to make some food. Would you like some?” Jake asks me.
“Sure. What are we having?” I like that he is keeping the conversation light.
“I was just going to cook some chicken stir fry. Is that okay with you?”
“Sounds good.” Jake gets up and starts to take relevant ingredients out of their various cupboards. He brings everything over to the kitchen island and then he starts to chop up some vegetables.
“Can I help with anything?” I ask. I feel useless just sat here watching him do it all.
“You could finish chopping these things whilst I put the chicken on to cook.”
“Okay.” I get off of the stool and go around to where Jake is stood. My body hums as our hands briefly touch from him passing the knife to me. Electricity sparks between us and I quickly focus my gaze on the vegetables so that I don’t make a fool of myself by saying, or doing, something stupid. I don’t want to ruin the calm, comfortable feeling between us.
I pick up a green pepper and start to de-seed it whilst Jake busies himself putting the chicken breasts in a pan to cook.
“Shall I pop some music on?” Jake asks me.
“Sure. Nothing too girlie though,” I say teasingly. He laughs and goes over to an iPod dock in the corner of the kitchen. He browses through his music selection before pressing the play button, and I hum along to the song he chooses as it starts to play. Jake casually walks back over to the frying pan to check on the chicken.
As I finish chopping up the vegetables, a different song starts to play, and it sparks familiarity within me, a sense of nostalgia washing over me. I freeze in place and stop humming. I close my eyes and listen to the music intently. The smooth sounds of the music conjures up feelings of happiness for me, and I know that I am close to remembering something.
The chorus of the song kicks in and all of a sudden, there is an image as clear as day in my mind. Jake and I are dancing. As we move our feet in perfect sync of one another, I can appreciate how good we look together. As we move around the dance floor, it is almost like I am transported directly into the moment, and I feel heat rise within my body. My breathing becomes laboured as I revel in the memory of his touch. I watch the scene in my mind as the song plays out. I don’t move the entire time.
The song comes to an end, the memory fades, and I open my eyes to see that Jake is sat on one of the bar stools opposite me. I didn’t even hear him move from the frying pan. He sits there with his hands linked and his chin resting on them.
“Anything coming back to you?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, breathlessly. “That song, and us dancing together. How did you know that the song would trigger something?”
“Lucky guess I suppose.” He smiles, clearly pleased with himself that I have remembered a part of our time together. I am astounded that he would think to do that. Since spending time with Jake today, I have managed to regain two memories. One not so great, and another one that kind of makes up for the bad one. “Want to talk about it?”
“Give me a few moments to process it all.” Jake nods and stands, taking the vegetables and adding them to the stir fry. He doesn’t seem to want to push me, which is good. I feel that I can take my time and gather my thoughts first. Lydia would be wanting to bombard me with questions right about now.
“Hey, Jake?” he turns around to look at me. “Did Lydia try to call whilst
I was asleep?”
“She did. She said that she tried ringing your phone a couple of times but there was no answer. She started to worry, so then she called me. I told her that you had fallen asleep and that I would bring you back to the flat later on. She seemed satisfied by my answer.”
“I bet she did.” Lydia has been rooting for Jake the entire time that I have played emotional tennis with myself. He looks at me and frowns. “Lydia has been fighting your corner this whole time.” I may as well tell him.
“Huh. Remind me to buy her a drink sometime to say thank you.”
“Okay,” I say, laughing. Jake finishes preparing the stir fry and then dishes it into two bowls. He pushes my bowl towards me and fetches some cutlery. He then takes his food and comes and sits next to me.
“This looks great,” I say, my stomach rumbling in appreciation.
“Dig in before it gets cold.” We sit and eat in silence for a few moments. I don’t feel awkward at all, and the food is delicious.
“So, you were at the Bowden Hall that night then? You know, the last memory that I could recollect when I woke up in the hospital.”
“I was,” Jake confirms.
“And we danced together.”
“We did.” He grins as he finishes his last mouthful of food.
“Where was Charles whilst I was dancing with you?” I can’t imagine that he would have been happy about me dancing with another man.
“He was in the bar area, chatting up the woman that he later slept with behind your back.”
“Oh.”
“I then gave you a lift home. Well, we actually went for food first, and then I took you back to Charles’ house.”
“Really? I didn’t get that far. I just saw us dancing together.” He gave me a lift home? Why would he have done that?
“It’s a good memory, isn’t it?” he asks the question as if awaiting my approval that I think the same as him. I chuckle like a giddy school girl.
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