by Marie, Carly
Grayson's eyes were wide as he took in the sight before him. "What is all of that?"
"Just a few things I've bought over the last few weeks." Somehow, Grayson managed to look more surprised. I grabbed a few light boxes from the back and gestured toward the house with my head. "Let's get inside. The snow is really starting to come down."
The guys would have to leave soon if they were going to get out of here before the roads got bad. I couldn't have been more thankful that the office had canceled all my appointments for the rest of the day and that I wasn't on call that weekend. With the snow coming down so hard, I would have likely spent the weekend at the hospital in case of an emergency instead of at home, focused completely on my husband.
I would have been shit at the hospital that weekend anyway. For most of the last week, my brain had been focused on exploring things with Grayson. After James and Dexter agreed to take the kids for the weekend, it had become the only thing I'd thought about. Distraction and cardiology were not a good combination.
We walked into the house to find the packages stacked by the steps near the living room, and Logan, Aiden, and Caleb pulling the last of the chairs back toward the table. The stack of blankets on the couch was impressive, as were the stacks of pillows and stuffed animals. I couldn't help but notice someone had put Grayson's dragon blanket on the top of the pile in easy reach. They were great friends and I knew they'd help Grayson along the way, just like their boyfriends had helped me.
Travis straightened up and glanced out the window. "I think it's time for us to be going. I don't want to be stuck here, and I'm guessing you don't want us here either." He winked at me, and while the teasing had me grinning, Grayson's cheeks heated.
Grayson had always been able to talk a stranger's ear off, but making lasting friends had proved more difficult. I suspected that wasn't a problem with Caleb, Aiden, and Logan as the three pulled him into hugs as they got ready to go.
"Oh! I almost forgot!" Aiden broke his hug with Grayson and hurried over to the bag Trent was holding, then began to rummage through it. "We got you something." He pulled a little bag out of one of the pockets and headed back to Grayson.
Grayson looked confused as he opened the paper bag. Whatever he saw had a smile breaking out and within a few seconds he was grinning widely. "Thank you," he said as he wrapped his arms around Aiden again. "I love it."
I was curious as to what was in the bag but had a feeling he'd show me as soon as they were gone.
"Okay, guys, let's go," Trent said as he tried to herd Logan and Aiden away.
Travis did the same with Caleb, and within a few minutes, Grayson and I were standing on the front porch watching the three vehicles pull down the driveway amid swirling snow.
As the taillights faded on the main road, I kissed my husband's head. "Did you have fun today?"
Grayson nodded before he caught himself. I didn't have to see his face to know he was worried about what I'd thought when I'd walked in. "None of that. You all were having quite the conversation when we got here." I smiled to myself. "And if the look of the living room was anything to go by, you all had a good afternoon." I almost didn't say what I was thinking but then decided it was important Grayson heard it from me.
"I'm not going to lie. I was relieved to know that you enjoyed playing with them at DASH and that you enjoyed what we did afterward." I led him back into the house and made sure the door was shut and locked before leading him to the kitchen. I hadn't had lunch yet and I was starving.
Without the dogs and the kids, the house felt too quiet, but I hoped that would be rectified soon.
Grayson's eyes stayed focused on the packages even as we walked. "Yeah, I think I did have fun. More than I realized at the time. It was nice to spend time with them. I was able to talk some stuff out that's been running through my head."
I poured a glass of milk and slid it toward him before going to the fridge to look for something for lunch. "I can understand needing people to talk to. I'm glad I have Trent and Travis now. I don't know how I would have reacted at DASH without them."
I hesitated a beat, but I knew I needed to get this out there, and it was the first step in getting Gray to understand that I liked the idea of him being my boy… dragon. "I wish you'd talked to me before we went so I could have been more prepared. I really did enjoy watching you play. So far everything I've learned about age play seems like it would be something you'd enjoy."
Grayson's head shot up. "What do you mean?"
I pulled out some leftover chicken and a package of lettuce, content to have a salad since I'd already planned on a "little friendly" meal for the night. I placed the items on the counter before I responded casually. "Your love of all things plush, for one."
He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. "Not all plush. Mostly dragons."
"Touché." I reached across the counter and lifted his hand, brushing my thumb over his knuckles. "The way your thumb finds its way to your mouth when you're stressed or sick."
I didn't know it was possible for someone to turn as red as he did at the comment. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out, so I continued. "The way you melt into snuggles and show affection so easily. It all makes a lot more sense. I wish I'd seen it before."
Grayson scoffed. "Hard for you to see it when I didn't see it myself. I guess I should apologize again for not telling you what was going on in my head."
I hummed. "Thank you. I worried that I'd done something to make you think you couldn't trust me, at least until I figured out that it had to be hard to talk about it and you were figuring it all out as well."
Gray was quiet for a long time, and I let him think while I put a salad together. I'd just put the dressing on when he finally spoke again. "I like it. And I liked when you took care of me afterward. I liked last week too. Even though it wasn't really a scene, you just knew what I needed."
"I liked it. I liked it even more because I knew you liked it too. There's a chance I'd do just about anything for the sleepy smiles you gave me right before you fell asleep and right after you woke up."
The blush flared back to life and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed a few times. "But you wouldn't do it if you didn't want to, right?"
And there it was. There was what I'd suspected was bouncing around in his head the last few weeks. "Absolutely not. And I think deep down you know that."
I let him come to his own conclusions while I focused on eating my salad. I was pretty sure, in his gut, he'd known what I'd just told him but needed time and a little reassurance to convince himself of it. After a few minutes, Grayson sighed and his shoulders sagged. "Why does my brain have such a hard time understanding those words? I couldn't force you to do anything, even if I wanted to. I just have to keep telling myself that you liked it too."
He fell silent again, then he began to pick at his nail. "It's felt nice, both times, to have you right there. Like you're making sure I'm safe. It's hard to explain."
I got the feeling I understood where he was coming from because I couldn't explain why knowing he was right beside me coloring while he watched a cartoon felt nice as well. Part of it absolutely was that I knew exactly where he was and that he was okay. Part of it was that, for a little while, there hadn't been house projects, or homework, or work weighing on my mind. My thoughts and attention had only been on Grayson, even when we weren't directly interacting.
Honesty was always best. "I like having you right here. I like the quiet. And while I don't understand it completely myself, just knowing that you're happy gives me a ton of gratification. I want to learn more about that side of you, and I want to learn more about that side of me too."
Grayson finally glanced back at the entryway where we'd piled the boxes up. "I guess that's what all those boxes are for?"
I grinned. "Maybe."
He raised an eyebrow at me, a signature You aren't fooling me expression written all over his face.
"Okay, so maybe I planned this w
eekend to make sure we had some time alone. The snowstorm was just an added bonus. And there's a chance I might have gone overboard. I just didn't know what you'd like."
Grayson chewed on his bottom lip as he thought. I watched him closely as he decided how to respond before he finally nodded to himself and took a deep breath. "Can I see?"
I deposited my bowl in the sink and gave it a quick rinse. "Sure thing, baby. Let's go."
Chapter Ten
Grayson
Spencer had endless patience. It was one of the things I admired about him most as a doctor, a dad, and my husband, but I suspected it was going to come in extra useful as my Daddy. Patience and I didn't see eye to eye, and I was convinced that if it was good, you shouldn't have to wait. That pile of boxes Spencer had bought for me definitely fell into that category.
It was a good thing he'd shipped them somewhere else. I'd never have been able to contain my curiosity after a few boxes had arrived. The first one or two I'd have easily been able to brush off, but by the third or fourth or fifteenth, I'd have been bugging the hell out of him to tell me what was in them.
If I had pushed too hard, that would probably have earned me a punishment. What would a punishment look like when he was my Daddy? I hadn't talked to Aiden and Caleb about those. I liked being spanked but did it feel different in little space?
"What's got you thinking so hard back there?" Spencer's voice pulled me from my musings and I blinked over to find him bringing boxes to the couch while I stood like a statue by it.
"Punishments." The word came out of my mouth so fast my brain took a moment to catch up with what I'd said. "Specifically spankings. I mean, what happens if I… if I'm bad when I'm little?" Was I really worried about a punishment? I usually begged to be spanked and flogged, but boys were sometimes mischievous, and for some reason, the idea of being punished didn't sound as nice as it normally did.
Spencer's face softened and he came over to pull me against him. "First of all, how often do I get angry with you?"
I shrugged. "I can push your buttons."
Laughter rumbled in his chest. "You certainly can." A gentle kiss got placed on my forehead. "Pushing my buttons is very different from making me angry. And I fully expect that you'll find ways to get into all sorts of trouble when you finally get out of that head of yours." He tapped the top of my head to make a point. "And I'm sure that I'm going to have to find creative ways to punish you."
How did he know? "Huh?" My voice cracked on the word, and even I had to admit I sounded nervous.
Spencer just smiled at me. "Well, you like spankings too much. I think I'll save those as rewards for when you're not little."
My face heated and he kissed my cheek.
"But if you've been naughty or gotten into something you shouldn't have, I think quiet time is in order."
Quiet time was what we'd called a timeout since Mia was a toddler, and I felt my face scrunch up. That didn't sound good at all.
Spencer took my reaction in stride and booped my nose. "I think that might be a good consequence for my husband and my boy."
"Dragon."
"Sorry, my dragon. The cutest dragon, who I'm pretty sure really wants to figure out what's in the boxes you keep looking at."
I bit my lip to suppress my smile but found myself nodding. The more we talked about punishments and exploring things together, and the longer I looked at the boxes he'd piled up by the couch, the more I could feel the adult world beginning to slip away. I didn't know if they could be considered telltale signs after only having played a few times, but there was a point that adult thoughts seemed harder to grasp and the world around me seemed a bit more simplistic.
"Well, first I need to know if you're okay with quiet time, then we can open the boxes."
My eyes narrowed. I hated the idea of quiet time but had to agree that was probably the point of it. There was a part of me that felt better just knowing that we had an agreement on what was an actual punishment. One more stress off my shoulders, and the adult world slipped a little further away.
I nodded my head. "Yeah, quiet time is probably a good consequence when you're really upset with me." I shut my mouth but then added a quick addendum. "But I hope you don't actually get really upset with me. I think I'd feel bad."
Spencer tightened his hold on me. "Remember, if you get in trouble, once your punishment is over we'll talk about it and move on."
That had always been the rule in our house. We didn't let things fester or linger, and I found myself comforted that it carried on to this part of our life as well. "Okay."
"Great. Now that that's settled, how do you feel about figuring out what's in these boxes?"
"Please!" The suspense was killing me, and it was probably another thing that had pushed me just a little closer to the little side of the spectrum than where I'd been earlier in the afternoon.
"Please what?" He looked so serious, and for a moment I wasn't sure what Spencer meant.
Realization dawned on me and I swallowed hard. "Please, Daddy." My voice cracked on the last word. It wasn't the first time I'd said it, but it was the first time I hadn't been lust drunk and dying for an orgasm.
Spencer's pleased smile had something swelling inside that felt a lot like pride; I'd made Spencer—Daddy—happy. A finger booped my nose again, and that time I laughed, free and uninhibited. He reached down and grabbed the first box, then reached into his pocket for the pocketknife he always carried with him.
The knife slid through the tape easily, and Spencer looked over at me. "I have absolutely no idea what's in these boxes. They're going to be a surprise to me too."
The idea that we were both going to be surprised made me even happier. "I want to know, Daddy."
A gentle kiss was placed to my temple. "I like the sound of that," he said as he popped the flaps of the first box open. It was small—well, smaller than I'd expected—and he hummed as he pulled the flap open all the way. "I honestly don't know how much use this will get." He plucked a sparkly binkie from the package and my eyes widened in surprise.
"I liked the binkie Aiden let me have today." The words were out before my brain processed them and I felt my cheeks flush.
"Don't get so embarrassed. I like knowing what you like and not without having to guess."
I stared down at my thumb. "I like this too." I waggled it around for emphasis, and Spencer chuckled.
"I know you do." There was nothing but fondness in his voice and it helped me relax some. I knew I should have left the habit behind in childhood, but it was comforting in a way other things weren't. "But sometimes, you need both of your hands to do things. Even writing."
I blinked. Was he suggesting I could use the binkie when I wasn't little? "But I'm not little at work." That didn't mean I was opposed to the idea of having it while I was working. Maybe.
Spencer tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Do you have to be little to use it? I've seen how you chew at the side of your thumb when you're thinking."
I did that. A lot. My thumb had little cracks on the side that proved as much. And sometimes, if I got really lost in thought, it did slip into my mouth. I couldn't get that lost in thought with others in the house, so it had never been a problem.
"It doesn't matter to me if you want a binkie or not. But maybe we can just clip this to your shirt while you're playing, just in case you want it?" Spencer pulled a little ribbon from the bottom of the box that I hadn't seen at first. It was blue with little green dragons on it, and I found myself smiling.
"I like that idea."
Spencer's hum and answering smile were all I needed to know that he was supportive, no matter what I used. I think we both knew that once I got outside of my head enough, I would want something.
"I'll wash this as soon as we get everything else opened."
I scrunched my nose up at the idea of waiting that long. I'd liked the binkie that Logan had given me, there was even one in the little bag Aiden had handed me before he left, but I liked the one S
pencer bought more. It was sparkly and had a dragon on it. I'd gone my entire life without having a binkie. Now, in the span of a few hours, I had three. I just wanted the one that I couldn't have right this second.
"Or I can wash it now," Spencer said with a laugh. "I think my boy—sorry, dragon," he said, correcting himself before I could do so myself, "wants this."
I nodded excitedly and wiggled slightly.
Spencer stood up. "Okay, I'll be right back."
Part of me wanted to follow him as he left the room. That was my Daddy and I didn't want to be away from him. I reminded myself that he'd only be gone for a few minutes, but it felt like a vital part of me was missing. Little Gray was going to be high maintenance, I could feel it. Hopefully, that didn't bother Spencer.
He was back before I could think too much more about it, which was probably for the best because I was already getting ahead of myself.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Spencer's face showed true concern as he sat down. He angled his body slightly and cupped my face, a strong thumb brushing over my cheekbone. "You look like you're about to be sick or bolt."
My smile felt forced, but I tried for relaxed anyway. "I missed you." I winced. That sounded whiny and pathetic. I needed to explain myself better, but it was hard to find the right words. "I mean, you left and I felt lonely, and then I started to think that I was going to be needy or annoying and you'd get frustrated, and I don't want you to not like being my Daddy because I need you too much," I said in one long run-on sentence.
I opened my mouth to tell him that I was being ridiculous, but the nipple of the binkie slipped in, and Spencer held it there until I closed my lips around it. "You, baby, are overthinking all of this. I was gone for no more than a minute, and you'd already worked yourself up to a near panic. I think you forget that I like taking care of you. It makes me feel good." He took his finger away, and when I didn't spit the binkie out to say something else, he nodded to the packages beside the couch. "Now I think my dragon needs some more things before he can really play for a while."
