“That would be me, actually.” Isaac stepped through the doorway and claimed a spot against the floor length windows without closing the book he was nose deep in.
An actual book, too, instead of an e-reader. I couldn’t help myself. “What museum did you find that in?”
“Burn!” Manuel slapped his knee obnoxiously. How was it that the largest brother was the one who hadn’t grown up in the least?
Isaac didn’t seem to be paying us any attention. He was in mid page flip when he froze, eyes tracking up to find me as if he was only just realized I was there. His focus turned to Carlos. “She talks?”
Great. Is this going to be a thing now?
“She is sitting right here and can answer for herself.”
Isaac blinked at me. “Referring to yourself in third person. I knew he saw something special in you.” He held his fist out and I frowned. But Manny was quick to join his brother by the window so they could bump. They actually made the sound effects with their mouths as they pulled away, fingers wiggling.
I didn’t shake my head but I wanted to. They were ridiculous in the best way.
Erin came striding in next, high heels clicking beneath her form fitting skirt. I didn’t miss the way Manuel followed her every move. Or how his brothers watched him do it.
“Why do they even have offices?” Carlos muttered beneath his breath and I coughed to hide my laughter.
She claimed Manuel’s vacated chair and parked it right beside me. “Boys… is this really how you make introductions?”
Manny shrugged carelessly but it was Isaac who answered. “We’ve met before, although on less than ideal terms.”
Erin hooked one long leg over the other, wagging a finger. “The club doesn’t count.”
Carlos cleared his throat, glancing at me briefly. I loved how often he sought me out. Didn’t matter if we were in the same room. I could always count on his attention shifting towards me as if he was reminding himself I was really there.
“Manny’s right, for a change,” he said. “We have history. Remember how I told you about our house burning down?”
She nodded, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, her brows creased and I shifted uncomfortably. “Oh,” she said finally. Erin turned her head towards me, eyes wide. “Oh! That was you?”
I raised a hand, tipping it back and forth. “I didn’t set the fuses, but I helped.”
Her jaw fell open. “You’re talking?! Oh my god!” I guessed we were skipping over the part where I helped turn them into orphans. She snatched my hands from my lap and bobbed up and down like someone who’d just won the lottery. It was incredibly silly, but her enthusiasm was catching. “That’s so awesome.”
“Yes,” Carlos said softly. “It certainly is.”
Ugh. Why did he have to sound so proud? I wanted to climb over his desk and into his lap but we had a crowd. Was he already hard for me beneath that polished wood?
I shook my head before I strayed further down that path and tuned back into the conversation happening around me. Judging by his triumphant grin, he knew the direction my thoughts had been headed.
“...scarier when we were kids,” said Manuel.
“Speak for yourself.” Isaac pushed his glasses up his nose. “She threatened to scoop Carlos's skull clean with a butter knife and she actually likes him.”
Erin gasped, glancing between us. I could only offer up a sheepish shrug.
“Still just as scary, in my humble opinion at least.”
Manuel scoffed and sent a glare my way. “For the record, you don't scare me a bit, little girl.”
My fists clenched, flames of anger shifting and burning. I didn’t know what to call this thing between Carlos and I yet. So I wasn’t sure how stabbing one of his brothers would affect it, but I liked my odds.
“Manny!” Erin snapped.
“What?” he barked back. “It's true.”
“Is that right?” I asked softly, getting to my feet.
As I stood, his posture changed. Arms falling to hang loosely at his sides. “That's right.” He took a step closer and I sensed Carlos go still, watching us closely. “Creed and Texas are scary. Those motherfuckers are bad to the bone. Compared to them?” He looked down his nose at me. “You're a mouse.”
Carlos was closer to exploding than I was. But no one else seemed to notice the waves of pure aggression rolling off him. I didn't break my stare off with his brother, but I subtly raised a hand in his direction so only he could see.
Don't fight my battles, the gesture reminded him.
We'll see, he answered with a grunt. And I knew that was the best I was going to get.
I slipped a knife from the inner pocket of my jacket and silence spread as it glinted in the overhead lights.
“What’s going on?” Erin asked. No one answered her.
Manuel took another step forward. “I've taken down bigger men, with bigger blades using only my bare hands. You'll have to do better than that.”
My smile was feral. “How about we bet on it?”
He raised a brow, nodding excitedly. “Now you're talkin’ my language. What kind of bet?”
“Twenty grand says I kill you three times before you can take this knife from me.”
“You've got that kind of money?”
“Wouldn't bet it if I didn't.” Truth. My accounts were flush. The last time I'd estimated the cost of my collection, including the antique swords too nice to dirty with some fucker’s blood, the sum had made me whistle.
“Let's do this then.” Manuel stripped his shirt off just like that and Erin sucked in a sharp breath. I didn't blame her. He was impressively muscled. Big enough to give Tex a run for his money. There was a saying that applied to that kind of thing.
The bigger they are, the more places they can be stabbed.
Alright, maybe that wasn’t exactly it but it worked for me. I dropped into a ready stance, distancing myself from Erin. Thank God Carlos’s office was stupidly oversized. I was going to need room for some footwork.
“This is completely ridiculous,” Isaac said to no one in particular.
I was inclined to agree, but Manuel chose that moment to close the distance between us.
For a giant sized bastard, he sure was light on his feet. Two of his quick steps were enough to bring me within reaching distance and one huge paw swiped for me. I leaned back out of the way and slapped his arm aside, darting closer to place the pointy end at his neck. He froze.
“Lucky,” he grumbled.
“Still dead.” I didn't have to offer up a mocking grin. Carlos had it covered in spades. Manuel’s expression showed harsh displeasure.
We disengaged and returned to our starting positions, circling each other in the middle of the floor. I could see Erin from the corner of my eye each time we looped. She was looking like we were both completely out of our minds, and she was right, to an extent. Except she didn’t know this life the way I did.
The only way for a woman to keep her place in the underworld was to prove she deserved it. Men more fearsome than the one before me had tried to test whether I belonged. This was barely a warm up.
I counted each breath inflating my lungs, careful to keep the adrenaline surge to manageable levels. Manny’s eyes narrowed and his stance shifted to something familiar I couldn't quite name. No reason to wait for him to surprise me with it in any case.
I took the initiative, surging towards him, and the slight widening of his eyes told me my gambit had paid off. Of course, I wasn't so lost in the moment that I was actually going to stab him. These floors were much too well taken care of to deserve getting blood on them. But he didn't need to know that.
Manuel was so focused on the knife closing in on him, he missed the open palm to his solar plexus. Pain lanced up my wrist and through my shoulder as I connected. I was sure a brick wall would've had more give to it than his chest, but the hit was solid. His breath left him in a harsh wheeze as he stumbled back, fighting to suck in air.
> I followed up quickly, blade poking the soft underside of his jaw as he swallowed. “Dead.”
He put his up and tried to grin through his wheezing, though it didn't reach his eyes. “I...surrender.”
“You do?” I lowered the knife and hesitated before sheathing it.
No way he gives up this easily.
Manuel coughed roughly and cleared his throat. “Swear,” he said, rubbing his chest. “Fuck, that hurt. I have a strict policy about gettin’ my ass handed to me a certain amount of times in the course of a month.” He tipped his head behind me, towards Carlos. “Thanks to your boy over there,” his words ended in a rasp and I almost felt bad. “I'm already past my quota.”
I turned to give Carlos a quizzical look, which is when I felt a heavy hand land on my shoulder like a fucking cement block.
My instincts fired before my brain caught up, white noise filling my ears with a singular purpose.
Destroy.
I grabbed Manuel’s hand in a tight grip, twisting hard at the same time I spun. My foot shot out, narrowly missing his knee, but landing full on his shin. His teeth clenched as his leg gave out, and I kept turning his arm as he dropped to one knee.
My other hand caught his tricep, and I was one elbow strike away from breaking his arm when something gave me pause. No one was close enough to stop me, so it took a moment to recognize what had grabbed my attention. Then sound slowly filtered back into my consciousness over my own heavy breathing and what I heard surprised me.
Laughter.
Coming from the man I had nearly maimed.
“I'm sorry,” I released him and stepped back, bumping into Carlos who was suddenly at my side. His palm found my lower back, rubbing soothing circles, and the tension vanished like it was never there.
“Sorry?” Manuel laughed louder, getting to his feet with a slight wince. He rolled his shoulders and twisted his arm this way and that. “Fuck that shit. You're my new best friend. That was wicked.”
“Huh?”
“Bring it in!” he hollered, moving toward me. Carlos tucked me into his side, stopping his brother with an outstretched palm.
“Quit while you're ahead, you idiot.”
“Oh, come on. One bear hug. You should be happy to see me get my shit pushed in.”
“I'll be happy as long as you keep your grubby paws off my woman.”
My woman. He threw it out there without hesitating. Would it be conspicuous for me to slink away and turn the air conditioning on? I was about to catch fire.
Manuel stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped back, grin never faltering. “You never let me have any fun.”
“I'm surrounded by children,” Erin muttered.
Manuel shrugged, unconcerned. “But seriously, where'd you learn that and when are you going to teach me?”
My cheeks warmed, and it was from more than just Carlos's steady presence and massaging hand. It wasn't so much that I was unused to praise. The thing was, I was used to it only coming from a closed group of sources.
The Sinners were my family, and as such, their critiques were neutered by the simplest of things: their regard for my feelings. Manuel suffered no such handicap. It made his words real, good or bad.
I shook my head without responding, since I had no idea what to say.
“Nuh-uh,” said Erin, leg bouncing. “You don’t get off that easily. For a change, I’m on the same page as this big oaf-"
“Hey!”
“Anyway,” she continued, raising her voice above his and plowing on. I had a feeling they did this routine often. “I would pay to learn a fraction of what you just did, and I know plenty of other women who would agree.”
Erin was the picture of earnest enthusiasm, so I didn't doubt her sincerity in the least.
I was stunned. Mouth falling open and everything. Carlos swooped in, smoothly steering the conversation right when I realized I had gone silent for longer than was appropriate. I need to work on that. I could only be grateful for his intervention because I really needed a moment.
Erin’s idea burned in my brain like a spotlight instead of a lightbulb, illuminating things I hadn’t been able to see. Forcing me to realize the lie I’d woven into a blanket of security was actually threadbare and tattered.
Hate had turned me into a weapon. Sharp enough to cut anyone who would hurt me. Focused enough to survive living in this world of power and bloodshed.
I’d needed both of those things for so long I'd allowed myself to become blind and selfish.
All this time, a part of what kept me going was the idea that with every piece of shit I sent to an early grave, the smaller the chances were of some other girl going through what I went through. Losing what I had lost. I remained reasonably certain my actions had resulted in a positive impact.
What I needed to ask myself was how long such an impact would last? How far would it reach and linger?
The Cartel was currently on our shit list because they had overstepped. Once this city had been brought back in the fold, the Sinners would turn their collective might elsewhere. I could continue my vendetta on my own, of course, but I was only one person. How much of a difference would it actually make?
Then there were the risks.
Life wasn’t a comic book. If I kept putting myself in front of a gun over and over again, eventually I was going to get shot. A week ago, such thoughts wouldn’t have bothered me. But I was starting to like life the way it was, which meant staying above ground.
So I needed another way to help. Something to last beyond what my own two hands could accomplish.
The answer was right there, waiting for me to reach out and take it. Or at least take those first few steps to seeing it become a reality.
Offer what Creed offered me.
A way to fight back.
So that when the wolves bayed and the darkness descended, they would have a better chance of seeing a new day rise.
Steel resolve filled me, excitement buzzing in my veins. I wrapped myself around Carlos out of the blue, cutting him off mid sentence as I smashed my lips against his. He froze for a moment before his arms started to rise, but I was already in motion.
I grabbed Erin’s arm and pulled her from the room without a word, ignoring the curious looks that followed. Carlos would cover for me, and I would make it up to him later. Slowly. Carefully. Putting all the things I felt for him, and all my thanks, into actions instead of words.
CHAPTER 24 - Carlos
Manny hiked a thumb towards the door, looking as perplexed as any of us. “Uhhh...what was that about?”
I shook my head, staring in the direction my woman had disappeared as the sensation of her lips against mine faded. She was gorgeous when her mind was spinning. Although I wished she was interested in sharing what was on it.
Give her time, I reminded myself. Slow and steady,
I remembered. I really did. Slow and steady had gotten me this far. It frustrated me though, knowing there was a barrier between us still.
I didn’t believe she was putting it there intentionally, and that loosened the screws twisting into my heart. Yet the hurdle endured, and as long as it did, I couldn’t stop feeling like I was failing her.
Manny tilted his head, watching me carefully, but it was Isaac who dissected me from behind in glasses.
“What’s going on with the two of you, exactly?” he asked. “Seeing as how you didn’t answer either of our calls for an entire weekend, I have an idea.” I growled at him. “Easy. All I’m saying is that when we walked in here, you looked like the cat that ate the canary, and now you don’t.”
My jaw tensed, fingers clenching. I went back behind my desk and sat down, wishing I enjoyed drinking or smoking or something I could use to take the fucking edge off. My brothers joined me, taking their usual spaces across from me. “Put your fucking shirt back on,” I snapped at Manny.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed it from the ground, pulling it over his head. “Yep, someone’s cranky as a motherfu
cker.”
“Do I look like somebody’s grandmother? I don’t do cranky.”
Isaac picked at the beads of his wool sweater “Then...what’s the problem?”
I cursed under my breath, annoyed that I was even desperate enough to be having this conversation. Manny would stick his dick in anything with a pulse, and Isaac became about as attached as oil and water. They were by no means shining examples of sensible relationship advice.
But they were also my brothers, and their opinions mattered to me.
“I’m running into a wall,” I admitted after a brief silence.
“Not the good kind?” Manny was already cracking up before I threw a pen at him. “Yeah, yeah. I’m shutting up.”
I scrubbed a hand down my face. “You want to know where we stand?” They shared a look before nodding. “Great. When you figure it out, let me know. Because I don’t have a fucking clue.”
Manny’s face turned down almost comically. “She’s with you, right? Isn’t that a good sign? Now you just have to keep her there.”
“The point of this,” I hissed. “Was never to chain her to my side. Surely, you realize that?”
He scowled, muscles tensing. “Fucking hell. I didn’t say to lock her in a goddamn cage. You want to save her? Then put your fucking feelings away and do it. This wishy-washy shit is beneath you.”
There’s really nothing else to throw in here?
“You’ve got an idea then? Let’s hear it.”
Manny shot me a look I knew very well. It was the one I usually gave him when he was being a complete idiot. Seeing it on his face was uncomfortable to say the least. Then he grinned.
“I really don’t,” he said. “It’s been your idea from the beginning. Finish what you started. Cut out the rot for good. The only way you're going to free her from her past is by removing any trace of it from her present. Then there’ll be nothing in the way except your stupid, smug I-have-everything-figured-out smile.”
Saved by a Sinner Page 25
