by Fanny Finch
“And they were very polite in behaving interested in what I was saying about the Caribbean and the plantation. That is more than I can say for the people, men and women, who were at the dinner table.
“I think that they were admirable in their behavior. I know that we cannot all be as witty and possessed as you are, my lord. But I do wish that you would concede that point and be more generous of spirit.”
Miss Reginald gave one of her tiny smiles. “Oh, Edward, you have found quite the match in this one.”
“After the way that you were treated at the dinner table, you have the presence of mind to defend people so?” Lord Reginald asked.
“But of course,” Maria replied. “That was only a few of them. It was quite awful and it did wound my pride. I cannot deny that.
“After that, however, I was treated to nothing but the utmost kindness. Those older ladies were so lovely. And the gentlemen were all lovely.
“I am certain that many other young ladies my age would also have been lovely, had I had a chance to meet them. I am not going to condemn everyone simply because of a few.
“Especially,” she added, “When some of their remarks were probably justified. I must do better in my deportment.”
She was determined in that now. If only because she was a coward and did not wish to be humiliated in such a manner ever again.
She turned to Miss Reginald. “Do you think that I could impose upon you to continue to assist me in this?”
“Of course, sweet girl,” Miss Reginald said. She laid her hand gently over Maria’s. “This was a good debut, Miss Worthing. I know it might not feel like it. But you are starting a good few years after most girls do. That’s all. We shall get you up to snuff in no time.”
“I hope so,” Lord Reginald said. “I could barely hold in my temper this time.”
“I will thank you not to ruin your own reputation by running to my defense,” Maria said. It warmed her chest to hear him speak of having a temper when others mistreated her. But it would do neither of them any good if he did so.
“Let Miss Worthing fight her own battles,” Miss Reginald replied.
Lord Reginald sighed, sounding very put upon by the idea.
Maria wondered if this was what having an older brother felt like. Of course it did not feel that way on her part. She was quite certain that one should not feel such a thrill in one’s stomach around one’s brother.
But in Lord Reginald’s behavior—surely that was all that it was. He was used to caring for one sister. Why not tack on another while he was at it? That must be what was fueling his protectiveness of her.
Maria could feel her eyes sliding closed despite the jostling of the carriage.
“I told you it was a good time to leave,” Miss Reginald said. She sounded amused.
“You were…quite right…” Maria said, stifling another yawn.
She barely remembered getting home and getting into bed. She suspected that Miss Reginald must have helped her.
“It is always so taxing?” she remembered murmuring at one point.
“You will get used to it,” Miss Reginald replied. Maria could not see her but she could hear her. Her eyes must have fallen closed again. “Just give yourself time to adjust. You spent quite a lot more energy and stayed up quite a bit later than you are used to.”
That was the last thing Maria remembered hearing before falling asleep. But the last thing she thought was that so long as she didn’t have to deal with Miss Hennings and her ilk, she might succeed in this season after all.
Chapter 8
Edward paced while he waited for Georgiana to come down after tucking Miss Worthing into bed.
“Poor thing,” Georgiana said as she entered the room. “She is rather unused to the schedule that a ball demands.”
“We must be better prepared next time,” Edward told her. “She cannot be allowed to endure what Miss Hennings and the others put her through at dinner.”
“I doubt that she shall,” Georgiana replied. “She made many allies tonight. Our hostess and the older mothers were smitten with her.
“And the gentlemen were all rather taken with her,” Georgiana added. She cast Edward an odd look as she said it, one that he could not decipher.
“Are you certain?” he asked. “They were not merely indulging her out of politeness?”
“Edward, I think that I can safely say that they were genuine in their fondness for her,” Georgiana told him. “It was Miss Worthing this and Miss Worthing that while I danced with them afterwards.”
“What on earth did she manage to do right during the dancing that she failed during dinner?” Edward wondered aloud.
“I think that it was she was one on one during the dance,” Georgiana replied. “And it afforded her a better opportunity to simply listen. You know that she is good at that. She made each man feel special and she truly paid attention to them.”
“Still,” Edward said. He could not stop pacing. “I want it seen to, I want it known, that Miss Hennings especially is not thought of fondly by our household. And perhaps you can get the list of dinner guests in full from Mrs. Dane. We can identify the others who were so thoughtless and let the same be known.”
“Do you not think that is a bit of an overreaction?” Georgiana replied. “Edward, you cannot prevent her from ever being slandered again. She has to learn how to take care of herself. Whether we like it or not.
“I wish that we could simply avoid dealing with such people. And I am not saying that it’s fair that she must endure them. But she is going to have to learn how to handle it, either now or later. You cannot always be there to protect her.”
Edward knew that she was right, but it still irked him. It was like an itch, deep down inside of his muscle, in his chest where he couldn’t scratch at it.
“That may be so. But next time I shall say something.”
“Then I hope that it will be something witty and distracting that will change the subject,” Georgiana said. “As is appropriate. Rather than perhaps starting a miniature war.”
“You say that as if it is a bad thing.”
“But it is, Edward. You cannot be so reckless. Think of what will happen if we begin to draw battle lines. People will pick sides. It will become a massive scandal. And for what? Everyone must endure insults, Edward. It is unfortunate but it is the way of the world.”
“So you would have me be like Father, then? Play the game of politics and manners? Lie to everyone, pretend to be everyone’s friend?”
“That is not what I mean. And you know it.” Georgiana’s voice and face grew stern. “You can be pleasant without falling into Father’s ways of overzealous politics.
“I am not asking you to lie or to betray your nature. I am only asking you to be courteous and to give people the benefit of the doubt.
“You like Miss Worthing’s nature quite a lot. I think that most people are like her, underneath all of our posh ways and manners. They just want to be listened to and shown that we care.”
Edward thought that perhaps she might have a point, but he could not shake the protective feeling he had for Miss Worthing.
He was worried that the rest of this night had been nothing more than a fluke. There were plenty of mothers who would see Miss Worthing as another bit of competition for their daughters. They would not be so kind to her then.
And there were many men who would behave as Miss Hennings did. Or even, if Miss Hennings and her ilk got to the men before Miss Worthing did, they could turn the men against her.
“I do not believe that our charge is out of the woods yet,” he said aloud. “There are many ways in which she might still be hurt. And she must learn to manage herself at dinner.”
“I agree,” Georgiana replied. “But there is no need to tell her that. Her confidence is fragile enough as it is.
“The dancing at the ball and the kindness of those older women has elated her. But it will not last forever. Especially if you insist upon your little comme
nts and upon forecasting gloom and doom.
“I will prepare her as best I can. But the only way she can truly survive people like Miss Hennings, whether they be a man or a woman, is if she gets practical experience. Only time will foretell how she’ll manage.”
Edward did not like that prospect.
He was not at all sure where this protectiveness was coming from. He was protective of his sister, of course. What man would not be protective of their sister, especially such a quiet one as his own?
Perhaps it was only that. Miss Worthing was a worried young girl. She tried to hide her worry, of course. She did a good job of acting cheerful. But her father’s health and her own mission of marriage by the end of the season both weighed heavily on her mind. He could see it quite plainly.
It was natural that someone would see this young girl and feel for her. Who could not?
Well, he very much knew who could not, but they were people not worth thinking about any longer.
It only made sense that he would feel protective towards her. He dared any man in his position not to feel the same brotherly affection towards such a guileless and honest girl.
Especially one who was not afraid of him.
He had been genuinely impressed with Miss Worthing’s ability to speak her mind around him.
Most women would have been far too impressed with his status. But Miss Worthing was not. She tried to be polite, he could see that. She often got this most amusing look on her face after she said something, as if she had only just realized how impertinent her words sounded.
But she never lied to him and she never apologized for having her opinion. She spoke to him as she would speak to probably any man no matter what his ranking in society.
Her worry over her impertinence, he suspected, was one that she would have no matter what his station was. It was not that he was a duke, it was that she strove to be polite.
And he appreciated that deeply.
Of course he should feel protective of her as a result. This was the first woman besides his sister who had spoken to him plainly in years. Especially since he had officially inherited the title.
He knew that it would only be a matter of time until someone or several people persuaded her to keep those opinions bottled up. He just hoped that they would not tramp on her spirit too much. He hoped that she would find a man who would value those opinions and her lack of guile.
“I see that I have lost you in thought again,” Georgiana said. She sat down. “But tell me, how was the ball for you? I confess I was too busy helping our Miss Worthing to pay too much attention to how you fared.”
Edward sighed, sitting down as well. He wanted to keep pacing but he knew the movement would only continue to stir his frustration and would irritate his sister.
“It was as usual,” he said. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone, he really did. But he could see by his sister’s face that he had not entirely succeeded.
“You must marry,” Georgiana said. “Surely there is a lady among them who is thoughtful enough for you. Who is sweet enough of temper.”
“I wish that I knew,” Edward replied. “I feel as though I cannot truly judge their characters. Everything that I say is agreed with. Half of them are too shy to even speak to me or look me directly in the eye.
“They spend half of their time simpering and blushing. How am I to judge a woman’s character by that?”
“You could always choose a wife based upon her breeding and her looks,” Georgiana replied. “Her family name will speak for much.”
“I cannot have a wife that is unknown to me,” Edward replied. “How am I to entrust my household to her? I am responsible for scores of lands and tenants and servants. I could never leave them in the hands of a woman who has no experience or whom I do not trust.”
“I could help.”
“You will not always be here, my dear. You will be married yourself someday, God willing.”
Georgiana looked sadly down at her hands in her lap. “I do not know about that, Edward.”
Edward scoffed, even as a lump formed in his throat that he had to swallow down. “Nonsense. You have good breeding, you’re lovely as a flower, you—”
“I have tasted love once, Edward.” Georgiana looked up at him, her eyes bright and shining but not with happiness. “I do not know if I can marry someone for whom I do not feel that deep and abiding affection.”
“What was it like?” he asked.
He had never talked in detail with Georgiana about her feelings for her former suitor. Such feelings were not spoken of—it was such a delicate matter. All he had known were the facts. And of course Father’s opinion of the matter.
But he had never felt such an emotion as was described in books and by poets and playwrights. How did one know? How was one certain?
Georgiana thought for a moment. “People say that you will simply…know, instinctively, when it happens. But that is I think a falsehood.
“I think that it is something that can creep up on you and dump you in the middle before you realize that you had even started on the journey. But other times it is something of which you are aware.
“You meet this person and you think, oh, I could possibly develop an attraction to them. And from there you are aware of every step that you take. Even if you cannot truly prevent those steps from happening.
“Do you know how you feel when you come home at the end of a long day? And you know that there is nothing else waiting for you? There is only tea and the fire and a good book?
“That is what it feels like. Only you get that feeling when you are seeing the person. It’s just like coming home. Only you get an extra thrill because you know that they are happy to see you as well.
“It’s that feeling of being the most popular person in the room almost? But it’s more than that. It’s the feeling of…of truly being seen and loved for who you are.
“You simply can’t help smiling around that person. You feel rather ridiculous for it. As though all of your feelings are written on your face. It’s almost like being a child again in that respect, where you can’t control your emotions.
“It’s kind of terrifying. And it’s exhilarating. I often wonder if it’s what being truly drunk is like. But when you know that the other person loves you back…it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.”
Georgiana smiled at him, a smile of joy and sadness both.
“It feels like coming home,” Edward repeated.
Georgiana nodded. “Yes.”
It seemed like a terribly nice feeling to have. “Do you suppose that most people feel that way or grow to feel that way for their partners?”
Georgiana shook her head. “I expect most couples feel a sort of amicable mutual tolerance.”
Edward could not hide his grimace. He wanted far more than that.
But how on earth was he supposed to get it?
“I do not understand how I am to find a suitable wife when all they do is show off to me their ribbons and dresses,” he admitted. “I find nothing wrong with loving fashion but I need someone who can run an estate. Someone who will be honest with me.”
Georgiana sighed. “I wish that I had an answer for you. And I wish that I could assure you that you will find that love. But I can do neither.”
“I understand,” Edward said, gently taking her hand. “And I wish that I could find someone to make you feel that way again. But you know that—if you choose not to marry, I shall support you.”
He could never resent his sister. He had money enough, he could find a way to make sure she was always provided for.
Georgiana squeezed his hand, then released it. “I know my duty. I hope that I shall find someone that I can consider more than tolerable.
“But who knows? Perhaps my purpose in life is to be the old maid who runs your estate for you since you cannot trust your wife.”
Edward scowled at her. “Do not predict such things.”
Georgiana gave him a small
smile. “Whatever you choose—or whomever you choose—I have faith that things will work out.”
“I am glad that one of us does,” Edward replied.
“Come, perhaps there is at least one that you would think of as a wife. At least in looks?”
Edward sighed. “No, no I do not think so.”
“Well, I am on the hunt for a husband for Miss Worthing in any case. Tell me what you look for in a wife, and I can double my efforts.”
Edward gave her a fond and playful glare. “I do not need my sister to play matchmaker.”
