by Fanny Finch
The term of endearment, which she so loved to hear from her father and Miss Reginald, sounded condescending and insulting when said by Miss Hennings.
Maria didn’t respond to that. “Don’t give them any ammunition,” Lord Reginald and the various older ladies of her acquaintance had told her.
“Pretend that it doesn’t matter,” Lord Reginald had said. “That it does not affect you.”
Maria forced herself to keep smiling. “Would you be so kind as to move out of the way?”
“Are you not curious to know why we were talking about you?” Miss Hennings asked, her voice falsely innocent. “I should be dying to know if it were me.”
“We are two very different people then,” Maria replied.
Miss Hennings’ smile grew. “Yes, we are. You see, we were just discussing how dignified Lord Reginald is. How well he handles himself. Living with a young lady who has such an embarrassing crush on him, well. He bears it with a grace and dignity that not many men could achieve.”
It felt as though all the air had gone out of the room, as if her corset had tightened by ten inches.
Was she really so obvious? Did everyone know? Did everyone see?
Miss Hennings’ eyes blazed with triumph and Maria knew that she had not managed to keep her dismay from showing on her face.
“As I said, you really must learn to hide your emotions better. The poor man must feel quite uncomfortable. But he is bearing up rather well, we all think. It cannot be the first time that a young lady has fallen for him so obscenely. Even if said young lady is from such a…wild and unsuitable background.”
Maria wanted to draw herself up and protest that her background was perfectly suitable. She was a gentleman’s daughter. What more could possibly be asked for? She had been raised to the best of her parents’ abilities. How could a word be said against either of them?
“But in any case, I hope that you know better than to do anything about your feelings,” Miss Hennings went on. “It would only bring about humiliation for you.”
She tilted her head and her expression grew soft. If Maria didn’t know any better, she’d say that Miss Hennings looked genuinely concerned for her.
“He is never going to want you, my dear. He wants and needs someone sophisticated. Someone who knows the art of a witty conversation. Someone who was brought up in this world and understands it. Someone who will be able to help him navigate these balls. Someone who has a grasp on the politics.”
She smirked. “TSomeone, Miss Worthing, who is in short the antithesis of you.”
Maria almost wanted to applaud the woman for her audacity, for being so bold as to openly insult her.
Miss Hennings swept past her into the ladies’ room, evidently deciding that the conversation was over and that Maria was not worth taking the time for an official farewell.
Maria all but stumbled back out to the ball. She felt quite in a daze.
Miss Hennings had just been unforgivably rude to her. And how! She had to know that she couldn’t get away with such behavior.
Except that she had. Maria had just let the woman walk all over her. Perhaps such rudeness would not be acceptable in general but Miss Hennings must have realized that Maria would be too shocked and hurt to fight back.
Maria excused herself, pleading exhaustion, and found a quiet corner in which to sit down.
She just wanted to burst into tears. Surely if these ladies had all noticed it then Lord Reginald had noticed it too. She felt heartbroken. Oh, he must be so embarrassed. Everyone must be laughing at her—and at him by extension.
But how could she even be all that angry with Miss Hennings? While her delivery was cruel, her opinion was correct.
Maria could never be what Lord Reginald wanted or needed. He needed someone closer to Miss Hennings.
Well, not someone with such a cruel temperament.
But someone with her knowledge of London society. Someone who could deftly compliment or insult with subtlety in order to take control of a conversation. Someone who could truly handle, with grace, the social responsibilities of a duke’s wife.
Maria could not be that person. She’d been barely getting by at the balls as it was.
It only solidified for her as well the fact that everyone was laughing at her behind her back. She had thought as much. She was not stupid.
She knew that while she was getting better at dinner—mostly by not saying anything—and the men seemed to enjoy talking to her while she danced, she was far from ideal in her manner.
But to have it confirmed. To know that she was being laughed at. That everyone was talking of her with such pity…
Perhaps Lord Reginald was right all along. Perhaps society was nothing more than a bunch of selfish people making sport out of one another.
Maria wanted to bury her face in her hands. But she had to get back out there. Somebody would notice she was missing soon. She had to…
Her dark corner was infiltrated. For a wild moment she thought it was Miss Hennings, come to gloat some more.
Then she saw that it was not a woman, but a man. And of course the one man she most empathetically could not handle seeing at that moment.
Lord Reginald walked over to her. “Miss Worthing? Are you quite all right?”
She didn’t dare test her voice, so she simply nodded.
Lord Reginald shook his head. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know. You’re quite dreadful at it.”
“I shall try and do better then,” she replied. If her heart was being worn so violently on her sleeve then perhaps she might benefit from some lessons in lying.
“I hope not,” Lord Reginald replied. “Your honesty is possibly the thing that I admire most about you.”
She gave him a small smile, unable to help herself at the praise.
“There it is,” Lord Reginald said, smiling. “That’s much better.”
Maria immediately felt herself blushing and looked away. “You ought to be dancing,” she said. “I’m sure that there are many ladies in need of a partner.”
“Including yourself,” Lord Reginald said. “Why are you hiding yourself away? Are you out of partners?”
“No,” Maria replied. True, there was no one listed as next on her dance card, but she had not had it properly filled out anyway. She was fairly sure she would have been asked to do this next dance had she not hidden herself. Most of the other women had dispensed with their dance cards that evening as well.
“Then what is the matter?”
“Nothing is the matter.”
“Yes, because lively girls who love dancing such as yourself take to hiding in dark corners for no reason.”
She glared at him, only to find him smiling playfully at her. “You make jest of me.”
“Of course, when you make yourself such an easy target for it. Come now, Miss Worthing.” He offered her his arm. “Why don’t we take the next dance. It will help to liven up your spirits.”
Usually it would, but now dancing with Lord Reginald only promised to remind her of her humiliation and why she was so distressed in the first place.
Lord Reginald sensed her hesitance, for he took a small step closer. “Why not just a turn about the room then?”
“I suppose.”
He sighed. “Miss Worthing, I am your escort. It is my duty—and one that I take great joy in—to look after you. Has anyone distressed you? Has any man taken liberties?”
Maria shook her head. “Nothing like that, I assure you. I should be in a much worse state, I think, if it were something as bad as all that.”
“Well there is something.”
Seeing that there was no way to get rid of him, she took his arm and allowed him to guide her in a turn about the room.
“There we are. We’ll have a small chat about what is troubling you, and then it will be time for the next dance and you can be as lively as you please.”
She wished that he were not so kind to her. His kindness only made it all worse. And did he
know? He must know, if Miss Hennings and those other girls did.
But just in case, to preserve what remained of her dignity, she did not tell him the full story.
“It is only that I ran into a lady on my way out of the ladies’ room,” she explained. “And she said some rather distressing things.”
She saw his jaw clench for a moment, and felt his arm tighten in hers. “What sort of things?”
“That I would never fit in. That I could not understand London society.”
“I think that is a commendable thing,” the duke replied.
“Is it? When I am making a fool of myself, or near enough to one, every night that I am out?”
“You will get better at that with time,” he replied.
“It certainly does not feel like it.”
“You have had a late start, that is all. You ought to have seen my sister when she was fifteen. I thought she would die of embarrassment at all the mistakes she made. She once stepped on the foot of another duke, did you know?”
“I did not know,” Maria confessed.
“She is very dignified now. And well she deserves that dignity. But before she worked on all of that she was as jittery and nervous as you are. I suspect that all women start out that way.”
Maria wasn’t sure what to make of that. If nothing else it told her that Lord Reginald certainly thought of her as a younger sister. He equated her to a woman many years her junior in her behavior.
He would never love her as she loved him.
“May I ask who this lady was?” Lord Reginald asked.
“I would not wish to disclose her name. That is too close to gossip for me.”
“I suspect that I already know who it is,” the duke replied grimly. “But I appreciate your wish to protect their identity.”
“If only because I know that you would go out of your way to be rude to her.”
“You know me too well at this point, Miss Worthing.”
He smiled at her fondly. Maria tried to be content with that. Even if he only looked at her as one would a sister, it was still fondness, was it not? Was that not something to be happy about?
She would just have to change her behavior so that he didn’t find out her true feelings, and content herself with that.
Chapter 10
Edward was going to—well, not kill Miss Hennings, of course not. But he was going to do something.
If only he could figure out what that something was.
Miss Worthing obviously could not see herself. She thought that she could fool him into thinking she was all right.
But if only she had seen her own face, she would have known how impossible that was to lie about.
She had looked devastated. As though someone had kicked a puppy in front of her.
Miss Worthing wouldn’t say the name of the woman who had said such cruel things to her. But he knew. Who else would have the audacity?
He walked with her around the room, making witty observations about the men and women they saw. He told a few embarrassing stories about some of the men that he considered friends and would go out riding or shooting with.
It was a larger ballroom, and by the time they had circled it, Miss Worthing was in much better spirits.
She wasn’t quite up to her usual standards. She was not laughing so easily and her gaze darted about the ballroom as though she was paranoid. She was probably trying to see where Miss Hennings was, Edward thought.
But she was no longer looking as though she might burst into tears. That was good.
He wished that they were of a relationship that he might hug her and hold her for a moment. She could cry on his shoulder and let it all out.
But propriety had to be remembered. He supposed that the poor girl would have to cry into her pillow that night. Or perhaps to his sister—he would tell Georgiana of what had happened. She could comfort Miss Worthing in a way that he could not.
When they had finished circling the room the dance ended. Almost at once another young man was at their side, asking if he might have the pleasure of Miss Worthing’s company for the next dance.
Edward let her go with a surprising amount of reluctance on his part. Miss Worthing seemed resigned to dance again, if not up to her usual eagerness.
How could someone be so small-minded and selfish as to take another person’s joy away for the evening?
He immediately sought out his sister.
Georgiana was sitting with some older ladies and chatting. His sister was far too selfless by half. She ought to be making sure that her dance card was full for the evening. Instead, she was letting the younger women dance when there was a shortage of men. As if her need to marry was not more dire than theirs with her older age.
“Might I steal my sister away for a brief moment, good ladies?” he asked, bowing and giving his most charming smile.
The other ladies all smiled back at him, especially the ones with eligible daughters.
“Excuse me,” Georgiana said. “I won’t be but a moment.”
She allowed Edward to lead her away so that they might stand where they could observe the dancing.
“I suspect that Miss Worthing will be in need of some tea and womanly comfort tonight,” Edward told her. “She was greatly distressed a short bit ago.”
“I noticed that she had vanished from the hall. Was something wrong?”
“Nothing too dire. That is, her virtue was not impressed upon. Nor was it news of her father.” That had been the other thing Edward had worried about when he’d seen Miss Worthing hiding away in a dark corner. “A young lady, whom she will not name, came up to her in the powder room. The lady told her that she would never fit in here and to give up trying.”
“I suspect that you know who this lady is even if Miss Worthing would not name her.”
“Who else could it be besides Miss Hennings? Who else do we know who is so tactless and thoughtless in her manner? Who else is so envious of anyone else who might spend time with me when there is no reason? I would not have her, with or without Miss Worthing’s presence.”
“She does not see it that way.”
Edward made a scathing noise. “Well she will be made to see it that way. I aim to present her with a piece of my mind.”
“Edward, please don’t. She will only take her anger out on Miss Worthing since she cannot risk taking it out on you.”
His sister was right, but it didn’t mean that the anger inside of him abated.
“I only wish that there was some way to protect her.”
“I know. I shall take her aside when we get home after the ball. A nice cup of tea and a good cry will be exactly what she needs.
“But she must find a way to toughen up. She is not the only girl who has had to go through such a situation. Nor is Miss Hennings the only lady who will ever treat her in that manner.
“It is not so important what they do. For there will always be people, men and women, like Miss Hennings. What is important is how we react to them.”
Edward sighed. Georgiana gave him a shrewd look. “That is not just a lesson for Miss Worthing. You would do well to listen to my words as well. You allow yourself to get far too worked up. You only see the negative.
“People will notice that. And they will notice that they can easily get your ire up. You must learn to see the positive in others and remain calm.”
Edward sighed. He watched as Miss Worthing danced with her partner. She seemed to be listening to what he said but with less attentiveness than usual.
Perhaps she was still upset. He ought to get her a glass of wine. That would help to calm her nerves.
“Are you even listening to me, Edward?” Georgiana asked.
He drew his thoughts away from Miss Worthing. “Yes, my dear sister, as always.”
“Good, then perhaps you will actually implement my advice this time.”
“Only if you implement my advice and actually attempt to dance. I am happy to keep you on in my house as a spinster but I have h
ope for you yet in marriage.”
“You are far too hopeful when it comes to me and far too despairing when it comes to yourself. Perhaps you ought to switch those around.”
Edward made a face at her. In some ways they were still like children together. Teasing one another and dropping propriety in order to be playful.
The dance was ending. “I shall go and dance with Miss Worthing and make certain that she is all right. Find yourself a partner.”
