by Fanny Finch
But then, Maria had not been brought up the way that Georgiana had. Maria’s father and mother had allowed her to express her emotions however she pleased.
It was a wild sort of upbringing and it had not exactly served her well when she first came to England. But sometimes, Georgiana envied Maria.
Her own mother had died when Georgiana was still young. She’d been a quiet, gentle soul.
Father had been another matter entirely.
He had taught his children that emotions were a thing to be avoided at all costs. Certainly not something to be expressed. If he had caught Georgiana crying, ever, he certainly would have given her something new and painful to cry about.
Last night, however, she had been glad to have such a tight rein on her emotions. Otherwise, she might have burst into tears on the spot. Overhearing those unkind remarks, those speculations…
It was partially her own fault. She had never been outgoing or gregarious. Men liked women who were flirtatious and charming. It took Georgiana forever to get comfortable with someone.
And after Robert…
But of course she could not call him that, even in her head. Captain Trentworth. It helped, a little, to maintain that distance.
After her engagement to Captain Trentworth had been called off, she had found herself hesitant to draw close to any other man.
What if she were to fall in love yet again and Father forbade it once more? How many times could her heart be broken before she gave up completely?
And as much as her father tried, he could not succeed in getting all the titled young men to look at Georgiana as an option. She was quiet. Her beauty was not one that was easily noticed.
And while men respected her father, few wanted him to be a part of their family. Or to be a part of his. He was feared rather than loved.
But by the time Father had died, it had become too late. She was older. There were plenty of other women far more suitable for the unmarried men of high society.
Perhaps she had doomed herself. She ought to have simply thrown herself at the nearest, richest man and been done with it.
There were plenty of other women who had done such a thing. They seemed rather happy. Marriage did not necessarily mean spending all of one’s time together.
Now, she doubted that any man would have her.
She supposed that she could bear it well enough if it were not for the unkind remarks from everyone else. And for the burden she would be upon her brother.
They were lucky that Edward was so rich. And that he had a title. If Edward were struggling financially, to place upon him the burden of taking care of his sister as well would have been the most selfish of actions. Georgiana would rather have married the next man who looked at her than burden Edward so.
But although she was not burdening him financially, she knew that their reputations were linked.
It was always that way in society. If one girl in a family eloped and got married at Gretna Green, then all of her siblings were now under suspicion.
Edward might be an upstanding man. He was rich and of strong moral character and business sense.
But with his sister unmarried, people were invariably going to ask how that came about. They would wonder if Edward had scared off any suitors with outrageous demands or awful behavior.
And then, of course, there was simply having to live with him. She was always welcome in her brother’s home, she knew that. And Maria especially would value her friendship and opinions.
But to live on with them. When she could be of no real service. When she was like a perpetual guest who never moved on.
It sounded like a burden to her.
Her brother and Maria would never think of it that way. They were far too kind. But Georgiana knew how it would look to everyone else. And she knew that her own guilt would not allow it to stand.
What on earth could she do about it? There was no solution except to get a husband. And that time, she suspected, had passed.
Perhaps she ought to ask her brother about setting her up in a small apartment in Bath. Nothing fancy, of course. Just a modest little place.
It would be imposing upon him financially, but only the same amount that she would if she lived with him.
This way, she would not have to burden their new family with her constant presence. It would give her a nice feeling of independence.
Bath was a lovely vacation spot. But it was also the place for people to go when they had nowhere else. The elderly with their ailments. The spinsters. They all went to Bath.
At least if she moved there, she’d be among her own kind. She wouldn’t stand out. She would simply be one of many.
As long as she remained here, however, she would be a painful point of gossip for her family. People would say what they liked about her.
They could even use gossiping about her in order to get at her brother. Nobody dared criticize Edward to his face. Especially since his reputation was so clean. But if anyone felt like attacking him, they could attack Georgiana instead.
It was an awful situation. And she did not wish to leave her family or her home. But what else was she to do?
Going to Bath was an elegant solution to the problem.
She would wait and speak to Edward about it when he and Maria came back from their honeymoon. There was no reason to bother them with such a thing until then. Planning a move to Bath would require some thought. They were already so busy with planning the wedding.
Besides, Georgiana would be needed to run the household until the couple returned from their honeymoon. No reason to bother about moving when she couldn’t even move until then.
Edward would not like it. He was a stubborn man. But he would come around eventually, for he was also sensible.
There came a soft knock at the door.
“Enter,” Georgiana called.
Her maidservant entered, with a letter in her hand. “This came for you, miss. In the mail.”
Georgiana thanked her and took the letter. Why, it was from Julia!
Julia Weston was Georgiana’s dearest friend. Georgiana hadn’t gotten to see much of her this season, what with educating Maria and then helping to plan the wedding.
Oh, how she had missed her. She and Julia used to do everything together.
Eagerly, Georgiana opened the letter. She skimmed it quickly, then read it again in more detail. She grew quite astonished.
It seemed that Julia was inviting Georgiana to join her—at Bath, of all the coincidences.
My dearest Georgiana,
How I have missed you so! I know that you are quite well but I do miss our girlish fun patrolling the balls together.
Mama is feeling much better. The air at Bath does her good, as the doctor said. Papa is itching to get back to London but you know how he can get.
I have quite enjoyed my stay in Bath. Indeed, I was hoping now that the season was over that you might journey to meet me here. I am gathering some acquaintances together for a proper few weeks of enjoyment and visitation.
I know that I am rather more social than you are, my dear. But I hope that you shall come, if only to see me again. I promise you that you shall be my favorite if you do. I shall never allow you to leave my side.
What do you say, my dear? Shall you come and enjoy the special waters of Bath with me? See if they are as good as everyone claims? Meet some charming new people?
Perhaps we shall finally cast the gloom of the single life off of your shoulders and fashion you a new cloak of love.
Thinking of you always my dear,
Julia
Georgiana sat, contemplating the letter.
Julia was a rather fanciful girl, although harmless. She was prone to poetic language and flights of fancy. She was also, as she had pointed out herself, rather more social than Georgiana was.
This little gathering of acquaintances sounded a bit daunting. Georgiana doubted that she should know anybody among the set.
Julia was younger than she was, and
still had many prospects for marriage. If only looking after her mother’s health and mediating between her parents didn’t take up all of her time. If it weren’t for that, Georgiana was certain that Julia would be married by now.
Surely this was a sign that she ought to speak to Edward about an apartment in Bath. Going to visit Julia would be the perfect excuse to discreetly look into living there.
And, of course, she would get to see her best friend again. She mightily looked forward to that. She had missed Julia. The girl always knew how to brighten a dark day. There was no one better for cheering Georgiana up when she was down in the mouth.
All in all, it sounded like a rather fortunate turn of events.
Georgiana composed her reply. Yes, she would love to join Julia in Bath. Would Julia be so kind as to help her make some discreet enquiries about living situations while she was there?
She also reminded Julia that she ought to be receiving her invitation to Edward and Maria’s wedding shortly, if she had not got it already.
Perhaps, indeed, the two of them could now journey up from Bath to the wedding together.
The letter written, Georgiana found her brother downstairs in his office.
“Edward, I have received the most lovely letter from Miss Weston.”
“Have you? I had wondered at not seeing you two arm in arm as usual. I suppose that helping Miss Worthing kept you rather busy.”
“Yes, that was indeed the case. But, Edward, I hope that I am not imposing. Should you decide that you are against it, I will of course bow to your will.
“But it occurs to me that my part in the wedding preparations is rather finished. I have finalized the guest list and put down explicit instructions on the seating arrangements. Even the greatest of dunces could not mess it up.
“Miss Worthing is handling her end of things quite well. Better than I think she believes she is.
“Now, if you feel that my presence is still required here, then of course I shall stay. But I was hoping that…”
“Georgiana, please,” Edward said, raising a tired eyebrow at her. “You only babble when you are nervous. And you should never have cause to be nervous with me. Speak your mind.”
She took a deep, slow breath. “I was hoping that I might be allowed to travel to Bath for a few weeks to spend time with Julia. Before the wedding.
“We would then journey up to you together. I would be there the week of to help you two prepare. And I should still look after the house while you are on your honeymoon.
“Julia has extended the kindest invitation. And I have never been to Bath before. I hope that you will not mind. I must confess that I do miss her so.”
Edward thought for a moment, then nodded. “If Miss Worthing can spare you. I am worried for her state of mind.”
“You are always worried for her in one way or another. I think you forget what stern stuff she is made of.”
“Is it not the job of a fiancé or husband to worry about his bride?” Edward countered, smiling.
Georgiana smiled back. “And a more conscientious fiancé or husband there never has been, I am sure. I shall check in on Miss Worthing and see what she thinks.”
Edward nodded. “Who knows? Perhaps you will find yourself a husband there at last.”
She knew that he did not mean it in a thoughtless or mean-spirited way. But it still hurt her to hear her brother say such a thing.
Edward had made it clear that she was not a burden to him. That he was happy to take care of his sister. That he did not view her inability to get married as something to look down upon her for.
And yet, Georgiana knew that it was her social duty. She was failing, no matter what her brother said. And she knew that in the back of his mind, Edward still thought she would eventually get married. That she would at last find the right person.
She appreciated that her brother still had such faith in her ability to get a husband. But it made her feel as though she was leading him on with false hope.
While she didn’t like to admit it or think about it, she feared that her chance at marriage had actually passed.
It felt quite unfair. The universe, God, fate, had given her an amazing man. She had fallen in love with him, because how could she not have?
And then she had lost him. And now she was afraid—and had been for some time—that he was her one and only chance at love.
She supposed that at least one of them ought to have faith, though. If she could not have faith in herself, it was nice to know that her brother still had faith in her. Or at least faith in her ability to draw a man in.
Georgiana left her brother trying not to let the melancholy get to her. She found Miss Worthing—Maria—in the drawing room.
“How is your morning going, my dear?”
Maria looked up from her papers, smiling. “It’s going rather well, all things considered. I’m only feeling halfway to panic today instead of all the way.”
“I am glad to hear it,” Georgiana said with a laugh.
Maria was rather nervous about this whole wedding business. She would never admit it, but Georgiana knew that part of the reason was that she feared her father’s health would not last him until the wedding day.
It would be a damper, to say the least, if they had to interrupt planning a wedding in order to plan a funeral. Maria desperately wanted her father to be well enough to attend the wedding and walk her down the aisle. And who could blame her?
Perhaps Georgiana shouldn’t leave. How could she abandon Maria at such a stressful and worrisome time? She ought to simply throw her letter in the fire and write another one to tell Julia that she couldn’t make it.
“Do you need anything?” Maria asked. “I confess that I’m eager to be distracted from this mess of letters.”
“I’ve finished with the guest list and the seating arrangements,” Georgiana told her, handing her the necessary papers.
Then she showed her the letter. “My dearest friend, Miss Julia Weston, has invited me to stay with her in Bath.
“I was hoping that I might take her up on her offer and visit her for a few weeks. I would, of course, be back in time for the wedding.
“And if you need me, then of course I shall stay here. This is your wedding and it is more important than my visit. I can go to see Miss Weston at any time but a wedding only happens once.”
Maria shook her head. “Georgiana, please. Never hesitate to ask for anything from me.
“After so long of my nervousness with you, after how much I owe you for your guidance and patience with me… you never need work yourself into knots over me.
“I shall always be happy to accommodate you. And you are quite right, all that I’ve needed you for is rather finished.
“Besides, I must learn to stand on my own at some point, mustn’t I? When I am mistress in my own right I can’t possibly impose upon you whenever I have a question. I must learn to stand on my own two feet.”
Georgiana smiled at her. She was impressed at how much Maria had grown.
When Maria had first come to England she had been horribly nervous about everything. She had been lacking in sophistication and had let everyone intimidate her. She’d been like Georgiana’s shadow, following her everywhere.
Now, she was more confident. She could handle herself at balls without faltering. She no longer needed Georgiana or Edward for everything.
Luckily, she had done it without letting go of her sweet, guileless nature or her forthright behavior.
“If you’re absolutely certain,” Georgiana said, hesitating still. The last thing she wanted was to leave and then have a crisis occur.
Maria stood up and crossed over to her, taking Georgiana’s hands in hers. “I promise you, Georgiana. You ought to go and have your fun.
“You deserve it, truly. You’ve been doing so much work for the both of us. It’s not your wedding and yet you’ve been doing half the planning.
“I think that a little vacation is the least that you deserve
. And after you’ve had to escort me and train me, practically all season long. It’s the least that we can do to allow you to enjoy this time with your friend.
“And I look forward to meeting her at the wedding, as well.” Maria squeezed her hands and let go.
Georgiana let out her breath slowly. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I know that you’ve been terribly nervous throughout this entire thing.
“And I want you to know that if you ever do need me, that you are to write me at once and send it by the fastest means possible.
