by Fanny Finch
He dressed in his best, of course. He might be nursing his wounds but there was no reason for him to be anything but polite and courteous at Lord Reginald’s wedding. Miss Worthing must have gone to some trouble to rearrange things on such short notice, no matter what she claimed to the contrary.
It was the least he could do to show up and be a proper guest.
When he arrived at the church, he found that there were swells of other wedding guests already there and still arriving.
The wedding of a duke, Robert supposed, could not be a small and intimate affair no matter how much one might hope for it.
Robert did not recognize a majority of the people that he saw. Some of them he supposed he must have known from when he was last in England. But he could not recall.
Doubtless they would recognize him and expect him to recognize them. And then they would be horribly offended when he did not.
Ah, well.
He made his way into the church, admiring the decorations and the flowers. He could be imagining it but he felt as though he could sense Miss Reginald’s touch in the décor.
Of course, it would all be to Miss Worthing and Lord Reginald’s taste. But the way the flowers were so delicately arranged. The draping of the silk. It spoke to him of Miss Reginald’s careful and graceful touch.
He was obviously going off on flights of fancy now.
Robert navigated his way through the crowd and found himself a seat. He was not quite at the front where the family sat but he was near enough.
His breath caught in his throat—he could see her.
Miss Reginald was seated in the front row as was proper. There were some other people there as well. Most likely distant cousins and other nobility.
The Reginalds did not have much family, from what Robert could recall. And he vaguely remembered someone telling him that Miss Worthing did not have anyone other than her father.
It seemed that instead, the Reginalds had decided to flatter the various nobility that they had to invite for political reasons and put them towards the front instead.
It was a clever move. Robert suspected that they had Miss Reginald to thank for that as well. Miss Worthing and the duke had said that she was the one to handle the seating.
Robert could see her sitting up at the front. Her back was to him. He could not see much of her dress, but her hat and hair were wonderfully done.
He wished that he could go up and say hello. But no. He would not cause her distress.
He looked around but did not see Mr. Tomlinson anywhere. As he had suspected, Miss Reginald had not wanted to cause problems by asking her brother to invite another guest at the last minute.
Robert promised himself that he would approach her at the earliest convenience in order to congratulate her and apologize.
Normally he would not want to bother her until after the wedding had concluded, but he feared that she would notice he was there. How could she not? And once she had, she would worry about him and be upset that he was there.
It would be best if he simply let her know as early as possible that he bore her no ill will and that he was the one at fault. That way she could relax and enjoy the wedding instead of fretting over whether or not Robert was going to tear into her again.
Then he heard everyone in the church grow quiet as the minister stepped up with the duke at the front of the room. A hush fell over the room.
Lord Reginald looked quite handsome, but he also looked quite nervous. As if he was afraid that this was all a dream and he was going to wake up and find that Miss Worthing did not even truly exist.
Robert wanted to tell the man that there was no reason to fret. Miss Worthing was quite real, and quite obviously adored the duke.
But then the music started up and the doors to the church opened.
To tell the truth, Robert could hardly remember the wedding ceremony once it was all said and done. He kept being distracted by Miss Reginald.
She turned to look back at Miss Worthing as she entered with her father. As she did so, her eyes caught onto Robert’s.
They stared at one another for a moment. Miss Reginald looked startled, like a deer in a forest. Her gray-blue eyes widened and her cheeks flushed.
Robert could not read the expression on her face. There was no fear there. No surprise. Could it be… anticipation?
He spent the rest of the ceremony staring at the back of her head and desperately wondering what she was thinking.
Was she angry with him? Was she looking forward to rubbing her engagement in his face?
That did not strike him as the sort of behavior that Miss Reginald would want to engage in.
But one never knew for certain, did they?
If she did want to bestow a little superiority on him, she would be well within her rights. He had behaved most disgracefully.
He supposed that he would just have to wait and find out. He would be getting his answer one way or another when he approached her.
The ceremony continued on, and Robert did his best to try and pay attention. But his thoughts just kept drifting to Miss Reginald.
What if he could persuade her to drop her engagement? What if she said yes? What if—surely there would not be too many people who would know of it. And she had only just gotten engaged.
She would not dare announce it until her brother returned from his honeymoon. Otherwise it would be stealing the attention from the duke and Miss Reginald would never do such a thing.
She could, theoretically, end the engagement. And then he could propose, say to her all the things that he wanted to say, give her all the praises that she deserved to hear…
No, Robert reminded himself sternly.
That was thinking of himself again. That was what he had done the first time. When he had demanded that she go against her father, he was not thinking of Miss Reginald and the trials that she must endure if she said yes.
No, he had been thinking only of how much he wanted her. Of how she ought to naturally make such sacrifices for him. He had not given the proper thought to what sacrifices he should be making for her.
Being in love with someone was about caring for them and doing what was best for them. Not what he wanted.
The ceremony ended.
Lord Reginald and the former Miss Worthing, now Lady Reginald, kissed happily in front of their friends, family, and assorted peers.
Robert clapped along with everyone else. The couple did look immensely happy. Lady Reginald had tears in her eyes.
The large assembly followed the couple out of the church, where it was announced that dinner would be held at the Foreshire estate. The couple got into a carriage and went on ahead so that they might change for dinner.
Especially Lady Reginald, who had quite the train to tackle.
Everyone was chatting about the ceremony as the other carriages pulled up. Most people seemed inclined to want to talk for a little while longer. Oh, did you see the flowers, and oh, did you see her dress, and oh, did you see the way that they looked at one another?
Robert immediately sought out Miss Reginald.
She was standing off to the side, apparently having tried to get some respite after talking to everyone. She would have to be a part of the receiving line at the dinner as she and the newlyweds welcomed all the guests into their home.
It was not a task that he envied her for.
But it was good luck for him that she was standing alone. There were other people around but so far they seemed content to gossip amongst themselves. He must move quickly, before someone else engaged her in conversation.
He walked up to her as the first people began to fill the carriages.
“Miss Reginald.”
She jumped, startled, but then curtsied. “Captain Trentworth. My brother told me that he had invited you to the wedding. I hope that you enjoyed the ceremony.”
“It was the first time that I have attended a wedding where the couple were so clearly in love,” he told her truthfully.
Robert glanced around. “I hope that you will not mind if I ask you to take a stroll with me through the church garden? I fear that I have… a great apology to make to you, and I fear it would embarrass both of us to do it in front of others.”
“I see nothing scandalous in a small stroll,” Miss Reginald replied evenly.
Robert took a deep breath. Here was his chance. “Let us walk, then.”
He would do it properly this time.
Chapter 26
Georgiana held her breath as Captain Trentworth led her through the church garden.
The garden was small, accompanied by the cemetery. Not exactly the most romantic of strolls. But she cared not one bit. So long as she got to tell the captain the truth, that was all that mattered.
And it was a nice garden. There was honeysuckle and some pretty wildflowers and some roses. A proper English garden.
She hoped to have one of her own someday.
Once they were out of earshot, Captain Trentworth stopped walking and turned to face her. His hands were behind his back and he looked… troubled, almost.
“You must allow me to extend to you, first and foremost, my most sincere apologies.
“I was chastised by your friend Miss Weston and even partially by Mr. Norwich. And yet I was a stubborn fool who gave you an apology not even worthy of the name.
“I knew that you would be able to tell that my heart was not in those words that I wrote. But I cared not. At the time, all I thought of was my own wounded pride and my bitterness.”
His gaze bore into hers, dark and earnest. Georgiana felt that she could not move from the spot if she tried.
“You were right to tell me off soundly in the way that you did. I was judgmental. Harsh. Unforgiving. I allowed my anger to control me.
“From the beginning, I have realized how selfish I have been. Asking you to risk your entire life and go against your father was selfish of me. Had I been acting as a lover truly should and thinking of what was best for you, I would not have urged you to undertake such a course.
“Then when I returned and met you once again, I selfishly tried to turn away from you. I did not want to hear your apologies. I tried to grow close to other women in front of you. Even though my heart had not forgotten you, I shoved you rudely out of my thoughts.
“And then, when you opened your heart to me and took a risk, the sort of risk that I had once abandoned you for not taking—I threw it back into your face.
“I made awful assumptions about a man who had never done me any harm. It was because I was still angry at your father and since he was dead, my anger was visited on the son instead.
“That is no excuse and I do not mean it to be. I only wished to explain my reasoning, as terrible as it was.”
Georgiana wished that she could say something—let him know that she understood and that all had been forgiven. From the moment he started speaking, she had forgiven all of it.
But this was clearly something that he had to say. And she could hear the voices of Julia and Mrs. Weston in her ear, urging to keep silent. Reminding her that she deserved an apology.
Captain Trentworth took a shaking breath, as though he had been underwater and was just now breaking the surface.
“I did you a great wrong, Miss Reginald. My… my dear Miss Reginald. For that is what you still are to me.”
Georgiana could have sworn for a moment that her heart stopped and the earth tilted slightly, sending her reeling inside.
Captain Trentworth’s gaze upon her was unhappy, but soft.
“I understand that congratulations are in order. May I extend my most sincere ones. But I wish for you to understand the scope of my fault and my apology.
“To be unkind to someone about whom one does not care is bad enough. But to slander a woman—the woman—whom you value above all others…
“Truly, I have been shown how little I have deserved you, now or back then. I hope that you will not hold it too much against me should we meet in the future.
“You showed me your heart and you defended your family, as you were quite right to do. And I did not appreciate it as I should have. I should have laid myself at your feet. I would do so now, if I were allowed.
“But that is no matter. I hope that you will be happy. I hope that you will believe me when I say that I hope for nothing but your happiness. And I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me after I have twice treated you ill.”
He bowed to her. “Good day, Miss Reginald.”
“Stay.” The words were out of her mouth before she could even register that she had thought them. “Do not turn away from me, Captain. Not when you have yet to give me leave to speak my heart.”
Captain Trentworth turned back to her, waiting. He looked like a man who was expecting the noose.
Georgiana took a deep breath. She thought that she might cry from pure relief.
He was not only apologizing to her—he did still love her. He did! There was still hope that she might get to be with him, that her long wished for happiness was not entirely out of her reach.
“Captain, I accept your apology,” she told him. “It was genuinely said. And I can well imagine that it took you much writing out to fix upon the precise words.”
Captain Trentworth blushed slightly and looked down at his feet. “You still know me far too well, Miss Reginald.”
She smiled at him and waited until he once again raised his eyes to her before speaking again. “I cannot pretend, nor do I wish to pretend, that your actions and words towards me did not wound me.
“They did, and they wounded me deeply. I was in a state that night such as I have never been since you last left me. However, I can understand your anger.
“I am grateful beyond what I can say to know that you have come to see my brother as I do. And I am humbled and appreciative that you have come to see how you hurt me so.
“But,” she said, taking another deep breath, “there is one thing in which you are gravely mistaken.”
“Oh?” Captain Trentworth sounded mildly concerned. As though there might be something else that he ought to apologize for, only he had forgotten what it was.
Georgiana allowed her smile to take over her face. “There is no need to congratulate me. I am not promised to anyone.”
Captain Trentworth stared at her. He looked like a man who had been struck by lightning. “You—but your letter, to your brother, I—”
“You did not stay to hear all of it, did you?” she asked gently. “In it I detailed the positive attributes of Mr. Tomlinson. But then I told my brother that I had not yet accepted this proposal. That I had asked him to wait until after the wedding.
“I was writing to my brother so that he would be prepared. So that when I arrived in person he could give me his advice.
“I was so torn, Captain, on what to do. I thought that I had no other prospects. And that after you, a secure marriage was all that I could hope for. That a loving marriage was beyond my reach.
“And so I wrote to ask my brother if he would tell me his opinion on whether I should say yes or no.
“I took his advice, and just two days ago, I told Mr. Tomlinson that I would not be accepting his proposal. I am free in every respect."
She was not free in her heart, of course, for that belonged to Captain Trentworth. But there would be time for her to tell him that. She must first see what his reaction was.
Captain Trentworth stared at her for a moment. “You are—you are not engaged.”
She shook her head, still smiling. His utter astonishment and confusion was rather endearing. “No.”
“You are free of all promises.”
“Yes.”
“There is no one else? Mr. Tomlinson is a charming man, he has much to recommend him, he has a large income, he—”
Georg
iana shook her head again and dared to take a small step towards him. “If I may be so bold, Captain. He has many things to recommend him, that is true. But he is missing the most fundamental thing of all.”
Captain Trentworth stared at her like a starving man, one who would live or die upon her next words.
“He is not you,” Georgiana confessed.
Captain Trentworth took a small step forward, staring down into her eyes. “Then I am not too late?” he asked. “You would give me yet another chance?”
