I didn’t blame him. I was feeling quite hollow myself.
And the tears? Those wouldn’t stop. No matter how much I told myself that I needed to get it under control.
It was long minutes later, when I finally got my sobbing to a more manageable level, that I called Bud.
I didn’t want my dad to have to do it.
Mainly because I was here and could make the call.
But mostly because I was fairly sure that my dad would break down in sobs, and I couldn’t handle that right then.
So, I dialed the number of my other half, my twin brother, and pressed call.
It rang three times, and he didn’t answer.
I dialed again.
He didn’t answer.
After the fourth try, I looked at my watch. I wasn’t wearing it.
I must’ve left it on Castiel’s end table.
“It’s three fifty-three,” Castiel’s chest rumbled from under my ear.
I swallowed hard.
“If I wanted to get a hold of my brother, who is in the military…how do I do that?” I asked.
“Where’s he stationed?” he asked.
“Fort Hood,” I answered. “Most of the time. I’m not sure what exactly he does, or if he’s even there at this point. He’s gone a lot, at the drop of a hat. God, he might even be out of the country.”
He gave me a soft squeeze. “Keep calling who you need to call, and let me deal with your brother.” He paused. “What’s his full name?”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against his chest, uncaring that the wooden arm of the chair I was sitting in was digging uncomfortably into my ribs as I did.
“Bud…no, sorry. Avery Simmons Hooch.” I closed my eyes and counted to ten as the tears threatened again. “Simmons was my mother’s maiden name.”
He gave me a light squeeze and pulled me just a little bit closer.
I took a few more deep breaths, then scrolled down from my brother’s name to my aunt’s name.
My mom and my aunt were twins just like Bud and I were. However, they were identical whereas Bud and I had been fraternal.
My mother was one of six kids, and I was not looking forward to this next part. I most especially wasn’t looking forward to the part where I had to tell my grandmother.
But I dialed the phone number anyway, and once again got voicemail.
I dialed again.
Still voicemail.
“Son of a bitch,” I murmured under my breath.
I went down the line and called my mother’s eldest brother first.
“’Lo?” Uncle Brogan answered, sounding alert and awake despite the earliness.
“Hey,” I cleared my throat. “This is Turner.”
“Hey, Turner. What’s wrong, baby girl?” Uncle Brogan asked, sensing the seriousness of the matter.
I looked down at my thighs and said the hardest words I’d ever had to say.
“My mother passed away about twenty minutes ago due to a suspected pulmonary embolism,” I said.
His inhalation of breath told me he’d heard, and that he didn’t want to believe me.
The tears threatened again, but I beat them back. I still had five more people, at least, to call.
“No,” he said, sounding shattered.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” I heard Brogan’s wife say.
I pinched my arm and tried to stop from crying, but it really was a lost cause.
“Oh, baby. Are you okay?” Uncle Brogan asked. “What hospital? I can come now.”
I shook my head, despite the fact that he couldn’t see me. “No, don’t.” I drew in a deep breath as my voice started to break. “There’s nothing that you can do here. I just…I just wanted you to know.”
He cleared his throat, too. “Do you want me to call Momma and Daddy?”
God yes, I did.
“Please?” I squeaked. “I don’t think I can get through it.”
He blew out a breath. “I can go tell them now. We’re at the deer lease with them for the weekend. I can go over there right now so they won’t be alone.”
“Oh, good,” I whispered. “Yes, please. If you don’t mind. I…I don’t think I can right now.”
“What about my brothers and sisters…do you want me to tell them?” he asked.
I looked down at my hand that was now clenched in a fist so tight that it was white and bloodless. “Yes.”
I didn’t want to tell any of them.
I didn’t even want to tell him. Because telling him meant that it was real.
“Did you get ahold of Bud yet?” Brogan asked. “Does your dad know?”
I nodded. “No and yes. I’m working on getting hold of Bud. Dad knows. He’s the one who called me.”
“Okay, baby girl,” Brogan murmured. “I’m going to call around after I talk to Momma and Daddy. You call me back if you think of anything you need. We’re here, okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah,” I said through a tight throat. “I know.”
Then he was gone, and I was broken all over again.
Castiel lifted me up with one arm and then pulled me into his lap, wrapping me up tightly in his arms as he spoke with someone on the other end of the line.
“Hooch,” he said into the phone. “Yes.” He paused. “Good Shepherd Medical Center, Kilgore, Texas,” he said. “Yes, ask for Pru. She can confirm.” He grunted. “Yes. Yes. No. Thank you. No, I don’t know his social security number. No, not what unit he’s in, either. I’m sorry.”
I opened my eyes as tears coursed down my face and watched my father, studying him as I listened to the man whose lap I was in talk to someone on the other end of the line.
He looked dazed, but at least he seemed to be holding it together.
“Yes, my number is nine-zero-three…” Castiel spouted off the number.
My dad suddenly stood up, and I looked from my dad to the doorway as Pru was left standing there with the doctor from earlier.
They both looked tired as hell.
Pru looked toward where Castiel and I were, and her eyes widened slightly as a small smile lit her mouth.
If I was in a different mood, I might’ve analyzed that look, but I wasn’t. I was in a state of denial and grief that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to dig my way out of again.
“Your wife was moved to another room,” Pru said. “She’s cleaned up and in room ten, just off the back of the ER. Do you want to go sit with her now?”
My dad nodded and walked away with Pru, while the doctor stayed behind and looked at us both.
“Do you have time to make a few decisions?” she asked.
I sat up and then went even further to a standing position. Or started to, but she stopped me.
“No, don’t get up. If you don’t mind, I’ll just come over here and sit right across from you so we can talk,” she said.
I settled back into place, and Castiel once again wrapped his arms around me.
“Your father told me that your mother recently had gastric bypass,” she said. “When was that?”
I told her the details of that, then went on to tell her about my mother’s other problems.
The doctor nodded. “So shortness of breath wasn’t anything new for her?”
I shook my head. “Unfortunately, no. I didn’t even think to ask her this week how she was feeling. Not that she would’ve told me anyway. My mother was a proud person. She didn’t like to burden anyone with her problems.”
The doctor nodded.
“What I’m thinking is that she got a blood clot, likely in her leg, due to her not walking. That probably stemmed from the surgery she had, and likely today just broke loose as she moved,” the doctor explained.
I closed my eyes as the reasons why started to wash over me.
She’d had the surgery because I’d encouraged her to do it.
It was my fault.
She died because of me.
&n
bsp; “But, saying that, from what you’ve told me, she was already frighteningly sedentary in the first place, so this could all just be a large coincidence. We just won’t know until or if you want to do an autopsy,” she said.
I looked up at her, unsure when I’d taken my gaze away.
“Do you suggest having the autopsy?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Honestly? It’s not a necessity. Knowing the exact why of it won’t change anything.” She shrugged. “On the death certificate, her cause of death will officially be listed as a heart attack.”
I rubbed my hands over my face and thought about what in the hell I was going to do. How I was going to get through this.
“I’ll ask my dad if he wants one,” I said. “But honestly, I don’t see why I would need to have one done. It’s not like it was a complication from her surgery, which would be the only reason why I would think we’d need one. It’s been too long.”
The doctor nodded her head in agreement.
“The funeral home that you’re going to use for her…do they need to be called to come get Mrs. Hooch?” Castiel asked.
I hadn’t thought about that, but hell, I probably should have.
That was when Pru, who I hadn’t realized had come back, spoke up. “Usually we wait until about seven in the morning to make the calls to the funeral homes. Since it’s just now four in the morning, we should probably give them a bit more time.”
I thought about that courtesy.
That was a considerate thing for the hospital to do.
But, since I worked at said funeral home, I could probably make it happen faster if I’d wanted.
But there was no reason in the world to wake up Sid, the man who did all the pickups, this early in the morning. Pru was right, nothing would be solved right now.
“Is my dad finished?” I whispered.
“He’s still in there. He asked to be alone,” she murmured.
I cursed and stood up, knowing that I couldn’t leave him in there by himself.
“Are we…are we done here?” I asked. “Is there any reason that we need to stay?”
Both the doctor and Pru shook their heads.
“No,” Pru answered. “If you’ll give us the name of the funeral home…” She smacked her forehead. “Oh. I guess I know which one you’d like to use. In that case, no. We’re all done. We’ll call you if we have any other questions, but other than that, you’re free to leave at any time. We’ll take care of your mother until the funeral home arrives.”
I felt Castiel stand up behind me, and we were so close that I had no choice but to take another step forward or risk falling on my face due to how I was leaning.
His hand went to my waist and he curled it around my belly, pulling me back in to steady me.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
I shrugged it off and took a step forward, offering my hand to the doctor first.
“I know that you tried everything to save my mother, and I truly appreciate it,” I said.
The doctor smiled sadly and shook my hand. “It’s always a heartache to lose a patient. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
I patted her hand and let go, turning to Pru.
“I know that I know you and that I’ve met you, but right now my brain is fried and I can’t remember who you belong to,” I muttered. “I’ll figure it out, though, and I’ll remember you at the next party that Jubilee forces me to go to.”
Pru grinned. “Hoax is my husband.”
It all clicked into place, and I snapped my fingers, giving her a small smile. “Got it.”
She patted me on the shoulder and then showed me the way to room ten where my mother and father were.
She stopped right outside the door and gestured for me to go inside.
I couldn’t make myself open the door, afraid to see what I’d find on the other side.
Castiel took pity on me and opened the door himself.
I closed my eyes in a vain attempt to shut everything out, but once I heard my dad’s quiet murmurs, I opened my eyes and stared.
My dad was in a chair at her bedside. His hand was holding one of hers and he was bent over, speaking to her.
“I’ll always love you, my girl,” he said. “I’ll never move on. You may have wanted me to, just like you always wanted me to go to parties without you. But just like then, when I refused to go anywhere without you when you were alive, I refuse to move on with you gone. You can just sit there and wait for me to come to you, because you’re my girl. I’m your man. Even if it takes me twenty years to follow.”
Hopefully it would take him more than twenty years. Hopefully it’d take him upward to forty. Fifty would be even better.
My mom—and him—were only fifty-seven. They were three months apart, my mother having been the older one of the two.
It shouldn’t have happened this young. I should’ve never had to experience this.
This wasn’t right.
None of this was right.
“You ready to go, Daddy?” I asked.
Chapter 9
Snow in November happens because people prematurely decorate for Christmas.
-Castiel’s secret thoughts
Castiel
My stomach had been tied in knots for at least an hour.
When I’d woken up to her phone ringing, I’d been pissed.
I’d literally taken two hours to go to sleep. Knowing that she was there, under my roof, in my space? It had shaken me.
And not because I didn’t want her there, but because I did.
I’d never, not once, brought a woman home. I’d never wanted them here.
Consequently, for her to be here, and not be driving me absolutely insane with her presence? That was a pretty big deal.
So there I was, wearing my clothes from the night before because I was scared that I’d have to piss in the middle of the night when I never did, asleep, when I jolted awake at the loudest ringtone in the history of ringtones.
I’d jackknifed out of the bed, stalked to the door, and had it open and glaring at the woman responsible all in about ten seconds flat.
Granted, I was used to being woken up out of a dead sleep since I was on the police department and being one of four detectives meant that I was called if anything nefarious was underfoot. But literally I’d done everything in my power to go into my room last night, and there I was being woken up by her only to have to fall asleep all over again.
Except, her phone call had changed my life, and my entire outlook, on Turner Hooch.
After following her father home, and getting the extra set of keys that he had to Turner’s house as well as her truck, I’d had a decision to make.
Did I take her home and let her figure it out on her own? Or did I take her back to my place?
Because I was leaning toward taking her to my place.
I didn’t think she needed to be alone.
Her father, who looked steady and clear-headed enough now to be on his own, and for me to believe he wanted to be, was doing good enough that I thought it’d be okay.
Turner on the other hand? I didn’t think that she’d be okay if I didn’t keep her with me.
But then she got the first phone call, and I had my answer.
“Hello?” Turner said into the silent cab.
She’d turned the phone onto speaker, and her head was rested against the padded headrest while the phone sat on the center console. She sounded so exhausted and desolate.
“Honey? It’s your aunt.” The woman on the other end of the line let out a shaky breath. “Is…is it true?”
Turner shook her head, but said, “Yes.” As if she hadn’t wanted to say the words. Hadn’t wanted them to be true.
“What…what hospital? What happened?” she asked.
Turner swallowed hard. “They suspect that she passed away due to a pulmonary embolism. But, since we’re not doing an autopsy, the official cause of death will be hea
rt attack.”
The woman on the other end of the line started to cry, and I reached out my hand to capture Turner’s.
She squeezed it so hard that her hand started to turn white.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Pidge,” Turner said softly. “Does everyone else know?”
She swallowed hard, and I heard the audible gulp.
“Your uncle went to Momma and Daddy’s to talk to them,” she said. “They know…everyone knows.”
Turner blew out a breath. “Good.”
“All right, honey. Well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” the woman, Aunt ‘Pidge’ said. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay,” Turner lied. “I’m going to make it.”
Nobody acknowledged the lie for what it was, but she hung up anyway.
“One down, fifty to go,” she said once the line once again went silent.
“Your brother will call soon,” I said. “It takes the Red Cross a while to get all their ducks in a row. I don’t know why, have never understood why they had to verify all the facts that were given before they went telling the people, but it is what it is. He’ll call as soon as they find him.”
She shivered. “I don’t want to tell him.”
I turned onto the road that would be the deciding factor between her place and mine, and was relieved when she didn’t tell me to turn around and drop her off at her place.
Instead, we drove the rest of the way in silence.
Though, it was periodically broken by her having to answer a phone call and confirm that yes, her mother was in fact dead.
By the last one, she’d insisted that she wouldn’t be answering the phone anymore unless it was her brother.
Which I then pointed out that if she didn’t answer, they’d just call her father.
Which caused her to sigh and reluctantly agree to continue answering.
“Okay,” she muttered as she looked at my old house. “Are you sure you want me to stay here?”
I laughed and bailed out of the car, walking around to open up her side.
“It’ll be fine,” I assured her. Which brought me to my next question. “Are you going to be able to be in Jubilee’s wedding tomorrow?”
She practically deflated right there in front of me.
Keep It Classy Page 7
