I’ve always known I was dark, constantly feeling rage, lust, and envy coursing through me. I assume I’ve always been this way, but it’s hard to be certain. On my sixteenth birthday, I lost all the past memories of my human life. There are now blank spots full of emotions I don’t understand where their used to memories. It’s customary of all Celestials to protect us from darkness’s corruption, but of course I know this to be false because if it had any truth, I wouldn’t be full of sin; unable to stop my darkness from spreading.
The lies behind the memory eradication have always troubled me, filling me with questions I’m not sure I want the answers to. Even if I were to discover the procedure was for nefarious reasons, would it matter? I’m dark, not good like her.
Lili is pure, complete, good perfection wrapped in a perfect bow, which is why she’s destined to kill me. She’s the exact opposite of me in every way. For everything good in the world there’s an equal bad. Lili is of course rainbows, ponies, and butterflies. And me, well, I’m the disgusting black tar that stains the earth, and there’s no changing it.
The more I think of Lili, the more hate I feel. I despise everything that’s pure and angelic in this world. Good Celestials never understand the troubles, or the reasons behind the darkness. They were born with purity and benevolence. It’s no wonder they can’t relate to those of us that have no choice but to succumb to the constant twists and pulls of the darkness. They hold themselves in higher regard, like we are pimples on their perfect faces, messing up their prom photos. I’m positive Lili will be the same. She’s gorgeous and good, and I’m sure the hardest day of her life was somehow related to her hair.
With hate pouring from me, I enter Cognosco, using my energy to swing the school’s heavy doors swiftly open. Gwyneth, who must have been waiting for my return, immediately greets me. She quickly jumps in my arms and kisses me with a sinfulness that only Gwyneth can muster. She’s model-pretty, with long blonde hair, crystal blue eyes and a rail thin body, but something is missing between us. An unknown part that stops me feeling for her. Maybe it has to do with my darkness and my inability to love.
Gwyneth stops kissing me and pulls her full lips to my ear in a whisper. “Where have you been? I’ve been missing you.”
I quickly lie to her, without a trace of guilt. “I went out. I wanted to watch the humans in town. Play with them a little bit.” Gwyneth laughs wickedly, a large sneer across her face. I don’t return her wicked smile, never feeling the need to appease others. I lift a plastic bag up in the air as I add, “I also bought some human whiskey. Might be fun.”
Gwyneth grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall. “Easton, you’re ruthless, always making trouble. Maybe next time I can go with you.” Gwyneth is full of darkness, like me. Though unlike me, she thinks our relationship is perfect and dreams of sitting on a throne made of human skulls with fire and brimstone and every other cliché imaginable. I don’t judge her. I just don’t dream for those things. I honestly don’t dream at all. Outside of my mission to stop Lili, I feel lost, unsure of my path.
We stop outside a dorm door that I know as Miles’s room. Miles and I became close after my sixteenth birthday. He’s the closest thing to a friend I have. Gwyneth doesn’t knock and bursts into his room, sending a loud bang down the hall as the door hits the wall.
Miles’s room is a disaster, full of boxes with stuff laid out everywhere. Behind his door there’s a fist sized hole from one of his many angry tirades. He is sitting on the couch with Lela, his girlfriend (for lack of a better word), lustfully kissing. He abruptly stops mid-pucker and lifts her off of him as he stands up and heads in our direction, yelling in an agitated state. “Ever heard of knocking? What’s in the bag?”
I hold it firmly in my hand. “This bag? Ask nicely, and I’ll let you know.”
Miles’s face turns aggressive as he reaches toward me in an attempt to take the bottle. I easily wrap my energy around him and pin him in the air. Letting him know who is the strongest in the room.
He struggles for a minute then concedes. “Okay. Okay. Let me down.”
I reply, “Not until you say it.” He struggles to free himself again, and then softly whispers so no one can hear him. I shake my head, squeezing him with my energy. “I didn’t hear you.”
Again, he stubbornly concedes, yelling, “Fine! You’ve got balls of steel.”
I let him down, grinning. Miles and I have been challenging each other all summer and came up with a new saying anytime one of us beats the other. Though, Miles never beats me.
I playfully respond, “You bet I do.”
Gwyneth rolls her eyes, grabbing the whiskey bottle and heading to Miles’s scratched and abused wooden desk to open it. She takes a drink directly from the bottle and says, “Here’s to a new school year, and new Celestials to harass.”
The mention of new Celestials reminds me of the plan for Lili and the difficulty I’ll face getting her to connect with me. I take a large drink from the bottle, trying to forget my troubles as I pass it to Miles. Though I hate all good Celestials, for a minute I wish I could be one, so I could feel what it’s like to be free from the evil that controls me.
CHAPTER TWO
Change
Lili – Dreaming
My arms and legs are confined with heavily fortified chains that glisten, even though light doesn’t shine at all in the drab room. As I lay on the cold stone slab in the middle of the room, I look up at hundreds of stone hands pushing through the wall, reaching for something. The name Mary sways in the air in a barely audible whisper, so faint I question if it exists only in my mind. The small room is filled with tan amber specked stones closely stacked on top of one another. Unremarkable at first, but the longer I stare at each stone, the more intricate each piece feels.
I pull against my restraints—ignoring the sharp pain shooting from my swollen wrists and fingers. The chains are impenetrable to my powers and unyielding to my attempts to break free. My body's discomfort is paralleled by my mind's torment—going over and over all the mistakes I made to end up here. I trusted too readily and left myself vulnerable to attack.
I hear the heavy clanging of a small metal door, too heavy for its frame. It swings open, revealing two all-encompassing shadows as they enter the now too cramped room. The shadows hover over me, trying to make me feel smaller than I really am. The hairs on my arms stand at attention as a sinking feeling circles deep in my stomach, reminding me of the sensation I feel when I watch the news with my mom. The shadows smell of ash after a long fire. They move around me like snakes ready to strike their prey. They are dark in appearance, with unformed faces without distinguishing features. It's like their identities don't matter, just their willingness to destroy everything good in the world, sending a chill down my spine.
They've been playing games with me from the moment I stepped into the school, though my newfound knowledge is too little, too late. I wish I had discovered who I am earlier, so I could have been better prepared for their attack. The darker of the two grabs me tightly. I feel the blood drain from my arm as I focus on his clenched knuckles.
Its voice circles around the room. “You threaten the survival of our species. Everything we've worked for."
I hide my fear, responding with a steady voice. "You only want to destroy. You’re unable to feel, to understand what’s important.”
Unmoved by my reply, it begins to dump darkness and despair deep within my soul, suffocating my energy. I struggle within to combat its damage, feeling an aching throb as my body wiggles in pain.
The leader's voice enters my mind, each word cutting my inner light until it's raw. "It will consume you regardless."
Another Celestial enters the room with a translucent circular helmet in his hand. He promptly places the thing on my head. It conforms and tightens while he speaks, “You will forget everything and everyone that you loved. The memories of your human life will disappear, as though they never happened."
Horrible. Loveless. Disgus
ting creatures without souls. These are the words I want to say, but don't.
The stone room shakes violently in response to a loud explosion outside. My captors' energy is flooded with worry, as another explosion happens inside the room, knocking a hole in the once sturdy stonewall. Rocks, dust, and amber go shooting across the room, temporarily knocking out my captors. With my ears ringing, I try to seize the moment and struggle against my chains again, hoping for my powers to break free.
Easton enters my room, and I feel less alone and more powerful than before. He looks at me with love, making my energy long for his. His deep eyes connect with mine, healing a hole in my soul I didn't know existed until this moment. My energy moves toward him, finding the power to escape, but I swiftly pull it back, scared he will betray me again.
He leans over me, brushing my hair from my face in a familiar motion as he says, "I looked for you everywhere, then I felt your panic and came as quickly as I could."
I feel conflicted by his touch as my heart and mind fight each other for control. I desperately want to trust him, making my voice softer than it should be. “I’m glad to see you." I lift my restraints. "Can you help me with these?" I see motion behind him as the two dark shadows begin to rise up from the ground. Fear for his safety squashes my recent betrayal as I desperately try to warn him. "Easton, behind you!"
He quickly shifts his focus from me to the two shadowed figures, barely blocking their energy surge in time. I feel powerless as I watch. Unable to break free from my restraints, I’m cursed to watch another person I love die.
The two dark figures separate, flanking him from opposite sides while firing massive amounts of energy, creating large bright blue energy bolts throughout the room that block my vision. I move against my restraints as I try to find Easton in the battle. I finally locate him in the corner of the room. Easton blocks one energy surge, putting all his energy against the lightning and pushing it back into the darkness, but the second dark shadow comes out of nowhere and strikes Easton where he stands. It hits him hard in the chest, sending him flying into my slab and sending shock waves through the room.
Shock. Love. Pain and anger play out inside me as I see Easton's energy leave his body, bequeathing to me one last thing, meant only for my ears. “Your full strength is already inside you, and it is endless. I love you.” Easton's words linger for only a second, then come crashing down with his body. His death opens a wound the Darkness can exploit as my soul fills with sorrow so deep I begin to drown in it. I no longer try to block their attempts to corrupt me and let them in, willingly. My pain transforms into nirvana, and my mind expands into an endless abyss unable to remember my human life. No more pain, regret, humor, heartache, or lost love. Just nothingness. The fortified chains holding me crumble along with the building around me until all I see is black.
I wake in the middle of the night, unable to see anything but shadows in my room. I turn on my bedside Yoda light, happy to have the power to combat the darkness with a simple click of a switch. If only everything were so simple.
I feel cold and clammy, with shaky hands that remind me of the chains within my dream. My mind is endlessly circling around the unknown within my vision, trying to figure out how I can prevent it. Why did I hear the name “Mary”? Who is Easton, and why did my energy react to his so strongly? And why did the Darkness capture me and try to erase my memories?
I’ve had dreams of the future my entire life, but they’ve mostly been about God and natural disasters—things I can’t change. This is the second prophetic dream I’ve had where I can actually prevent someone’s death. I failed my father, but maybe I can save Easton.
I'm usually self-aware when dreaming, but tonight was different. I was so immersed that I was unable to tell the difference between reality and the dream world. I've never felt fear like that before and don't want to relive it. I have to stop it any way I can.
Lili - Mom Zone
I wake slowly with a mixture of excitement and fear. After my predictive dream, I slept horribly, tossing and turning and watching my Yoda clock click closer and closer to my departure time. In about an hour, my school escort will arrive, and everything will change.
I soak in the comfort of my room, remembering the safety and trauma I’ve experienced here. The walls are neutral beige, which complements my beige chair with lusterless silver studs that are worn out from my fingers rubbing them dull. I like the serenity my room brings, an escape for me from the chaos I feel in my daily life. The only distinctive aspect of my room is the random Star Wars memorabilia and pictures I’ve collected with my dad. I wonder if anyone will ever understand them the way he did.
My morning serenity is gone as quickly as it came, as my mom bursts through my bedroom door yelling in a voice that echoes down the hall. "Buenos dias, mija. Time to rise and meet the day." She comes and sits on my bed, moving my hair away from my face with her long perfectly manicured nails. My mom is in her late thirties and hot. She has a button nose and movie star eyes. Guys flirt with her everywhere we go, and she loves the attention.
My Mom’s sweet tone sharply contrasts her biting words. "You look like a mess! I should've forced you to get your hair done before leaving. It looks like una vieja loca." My mom has always been obsessed with aesthetics. She wants everything styled to her liking, whether it’s our house décor or my physical appearance, always seeing me as a project she has to fix. Trying to mold me, like a girl dressing her doll.
"Mom, my hair's fine. I'm going to wear it up anyway." I've always longed for my mother's approval, but I’ve given up after years of not receiving it. I perpetually feel like she wishes I were more like her and less like me.
"I'll curl it. You have a chance to reinvent yourself. New school full of possibilities.” My mom pauses, holding back what she really wants to say. “You’ll look perfect when I'm finished, don’t worry." She walks over to my vanity and plugs in my curling iron. "Lili, come. Take a seat."
I reluctantly shuffle to my vanity, last night's lack of sleep taking its effect on my appearance. My face looks like a haunted version of itself, like I haven’t slept for two days watching The Exorcist on repeat.
My mom pops her head on my shoulder, unhappily staring at my face in the mirror’s reflection as she talks to me. "I heard you making noises in your sleep last night. Another bad dream?”
"I’m okay, just first day jitters. No need to worry.” I wish I could open up to her—to let her know what I’m going through, but every time the urge comes, I push it back down.
My mom stares at my face in a knowing way. "You have nothing to worry about, Lili. You're smart, gorgeous, and witty. You'll have everyone in the school eating out of your hand." Her confidence in me brings warmth to my energy as I beam. "See. You're so pretty. When you smile it feels like the whole room lights up."
She puts the curling iron down as she begins hiding the bags under my eyes. Goodbye exorcist allure. She messes with my face, trying to hide my flaws underneath pounds of make-up. If “zombie going to prom” was what she was shooting for, then she nailed it.
I sit motionless for as long as I can before I say, “Okay, Mom. I've got to get dressed before my school escort arrives.” My new school sends a chaperon to drive every new student to campus. They’re supposed to be our mentors, helping us get accustomed to our new world. All I know about my escort is he’s a Celestial named Sebastian.
"I know, mija. One last finishing touch. Let me just get you that dress I bought for you last week.” I grin back at her with fear in my eyes. She and I have completely different tastes. I like to be in loose outfits that hide my body, and she likes to flaunt what she's got.
My mom returns to my room handing me a tight-fitting red dress that flares out at the waist. The dress contours to my body, exposing parts of me I’d rather have hidden. I plaster a smile on my face, not wanting to hurt her feelings as I put the dress on. I guess it would be considered flattering on me to most people's standards, but I like to blend into the ba
ckground and remain unseen by minds I can read.
My mom’s eyes light up as she takes her masterpiece in. "Lili, you look gorgeous! I wish you would put this much time into your appearance every day."
I sarcastically reply, "If only every day were thirty-six hours.”
My mom rolls her eyes at me then takes another long glance, filled with a thousand unsaid things I wish she could express. As my pickup time for school approaches, I feel her energy turn gloomy and sad as her thoughts turn to my father. "Your dad is looking down from Heaven with a smile on his face. He would be so proud of you. Going to a prestigious private school with a 100% college acceptance rate. He’d tell everyone on the block. You know how he was"
I just wish my mom was impressed with me as I am, not a lie about the school I’m going to. "Thanks, Mom. I should have worn my hair like Princess Leia, then he’d really be proud.” My mom shakes her head at my Star Wars reference. It was always me and my dad’s thing. She never got it, and now it just makes her sad.
I feel bad for having said anything, as my mom solemnly says, "That's enough of that. I want to make sure you get a good meal before leaving. Hurry downstairs before everything gets cold." She rushes out of my room as she wipes her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.
I quietly respond to her, even though she's too far away to hear. "I love you too."
Lili - Farewell to Home
Breakfast is uncharacteristically quiet, with my mom and me deep in our own thoughts. The doorbell rings, startling us both and making my mom jump and almost drop her coffee cup.
I stand up and rush to the door, excited to meet another Celestial. "I'll get it, Mom." I try to collect myself before pulling the door open so I do it at a normal pace. Standing before me, I see a fashionable Celestial in his late teens, with smooth cinnamon skin, glowing pink highlights across his cheeks, and playful honey eyes.
New Celestial : A teen paranormal romance series (The Celestial Series Book 1) Page 2
