by Dawn Brower
“And you love him,” Madame Debroux said softly. “Do you think he’ll ask for your hand? Will you too one day be a duchess?”
Lulia had no answer to that. “The future is uncertain. I’m not sure Fin even knows what he will do. As I mentioned—he’s impulsive. I don’t want him to do something in the moment and come to regret it later. I’m not a good match for him.”
The modiste was quiet for a moment, and then she pulled Lulia into her arms. It surprised her how affectionate she was being when she too had a gruff exterior. Slowly, Lulia lifted her arms and embraced her friend. She didn’t know what she’d said to make the modiste believe she needed the hug, but she was grateful all the same. “You’re more than worthy of him,” Madame Debroux said with a fierce tone. “Don’t ever doubt yourself. He would be lucky to have you as his duchess.”
Not many people knew about her father, and that she was born of noble blood. She kept that side of her life a secret. Sometimes she didn’t know why she did, but it had seemed like the right thing to do. She already carried the stigma of her gypsy roots. What would they think of her if they realized she was the granddaughter of an earl? A lord who couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge her existence? Her parents had loved each other. Lulia witnessed their affection and had reveled in it. Their bond had made her want to find something similar one day. Could she have found that with Fin? Did they have a chance of building something real in a world who would always consider her inferior?
“I’m glad you believe so,” Lulia whispered. “But you know it won’t be that simple. The ton never forgets.”
“This is true.” The modiste let go and stepped back. “They won’t let you forget either; however, you want to know why that won’t matter?”
“Why?” Lulia found herself asking, and for the first time, hoping she could have it all. “What difference would anything make?”
“You’ll be his duchess,” she said, then her lips tilted upward into a smug smile. “They’ll envy you your position in society. There’s not many ranks higher than that. You can make a difference, and maybe in time, that stigma will become something of the past. I’m not going to lie to you.” She placed a hand on Lulia’s arm. “It won’t be easy, and some days the heartbreak will be so severe you’ll want to give up. In the end, you won’t though. Because you’ll know the truth. That you have something more precious than any of them will ever understand—love.”
Lulia smiled then. The modiste was right. If she could find that with Fin, all of the fighting and disapproving glances would be worth the struggle. They could make things work for themselves and the ton could be damned. She wanted to have him and the life she hadn’t allowed herself to imagine. That didn’t mean he’d ask for her hand in marriage, but at least she understood what she wanted if he did. If he offered for her one day, she’d answer with a resounding yes. “Well,” she replied slowly. “If he is suddenly struck with a need to propose marriage, and I agree to the betrothal, I’ll be sure to inform you of the welcome news.”
“He will,” she said with an assurance Lulia didn’t share. “Maybe not tonight, but one day. When it happens, I’ll be there to make your wedding gown and watch you say your vows.”
“If that day comes…” She smiled and let herself dream of that special day. Her lips tilted upward, and she let the happiness roll through her. “There’s nothing I’d like more than for you to do all of that.” Lulia hugged her quickly. “Now, I must go. I have a ball to prepare for.”
With those final words, Lulia spun on her heals and walked out of the shop. She had a few more stops to make before she returned home… The ball couldn’t arrive soon enough for her. She wanted to see Fin again.
Chapter 9
After her fitting with Madame Debroux, Lulia went up to Fortuna’s Parlor to check in with Narissa. She didn’t want any unexpected surprises interrupting her attendance of the ball. Narissa had already left the club and returned home, and probably wouldn’t return. So, Lulia decided to go to the backroom and do inventory on her fencing gear. She didn’t have anyone lined up for lessons until after Christmastide, but she liked to keep track of her equipment. The club wouldn’t open for several hours yet, and no one should be around. Especially since Narissa had left. She pushed open the door to the fencing area and frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Lady Katherine stood in the middle of the room, staring at the wall. Her dark hair was tied back in an elegant chignon and her day dress was damp at the hem. The sapphire blue of the dress matched her eyes. She didn’t have a smile on her face and in fact, seemed rather sad. Lulia crossed the room and stopped in front of her. “Lady Katherine.” She reached for her hand and repeated her question, “What are you doing here? Are you all right?”
She shook her head and remained silent for several moments. “My grandmother…”
“What about her?” Lulia and Lady Katherine were not particularly close. The reason they had a relationship at all was because of Diana. They were friendly at least… “Is she all right?” She had a bad feeling that whatever Lady Katherine said next would not be good.
“No,” Lady Katherine answered and then tears started to flow over her cheeks. She wiped them away furiously. “She’s gone—forever.”
Lulia was having some of the best days of her life, and here Lady Katherine had nothing but grief to greet her each morning. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry for…” She gestured toward herself and then the room as a whole. “I know you didn’t come in here and expect to find me. The club is the one place I can find peace and when there isn’t fencing going on this is the best place to hide and think.”
“Do you not have someone you can talk to about this?” Lulia didn’t want to be rude. She didn’t know how to handle Lady Katherine’s grief.
“I’ll be fine. It shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, but it did.” She wiped her cheeks again. “No one understood me the way she did. It’ll take me a little while to accept that she’s gone.”
Lulia was starting to regret her decision to come up to Fortuna’s. She’d never felt so out of place. She’d lost her parent’s years ago and had to grow up faster than she’d have liked. Her grandparents were not the type to coddle her either. They’d done their best to make her life more difficult, whether they’d intended to or not. “There are no words in existence that will take your pain away. I wish there was something profound I could offer to help you through your sorrow, but there isn’t. All I can say is that she’ll always be with you—in here.” She patted her chest. “Those memories you have of her will be a blessing to you one day. Hold on to them and appreciate them when they visit you later.”
“You’re right. I know you are.” Lady Katherine lifted her lips into a wobbly smile. “I’ll leave you to your task.” With those words, she turned to leave.
“Wait,” Lulia said. “I’ll walk out with you.” She wanted to ensure she arrived home safely. She could take care of her chores at the club another day. “I need to leave regardless. Tonight, is the Montford ball, and I have an invitation to attend for once. It’s time I returned home and began the preparations needed to appear as if I’m a normal member of the ton.”
Lady Katherine laughed. “I don’t think you’ll have to work too hard to establish that. Most of the lords and ladies won’t question your presence as often as you’re found in Diana’s company.”
She wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t make her right either. They tolerated her, but none of them had ever accepted her. Still, Lulia fully intended to go to the ball and ignore the contemptuous glares. They exited the club and walked down the stairs to the back entrance. Lulia didn’t want to disturb any of Madame Debroux’s customers. Lulia stayed with Lady Katherine until they reached the Gladstone Townhouse. Once she was safely inside, Lulia changed direction to return to her own home.
She arrived at her little cottage on the edge of London, she started preparations for the ball. For the first time in her life she decided to take he
r time and pamper herself. She didn’t believe in it and usually was more practical, but she felt almost as if she were a princess preparing to meet her one true love. The gown had been delivered while she walked Lady Katherine home. Lulia asked Mrs. Allen to stay later to assist her into it. She usually purchased dresses that didn’t require a lady’s maid, but the gown that Madame Debroux designed was not one she could don by herself. The laces on the back wouldn’t allow it.
She trailed her fingers over the fabric, still amazed she had such a beautiful dress to wear. It was unlikely that she’d ever wear it again, but she didn’t care. Lulia couldn’t wait to see Fin’s expression when he noticed her wearing it. A part of her felt silly that she wanted his approval, but she couldn’t help it.
Mrs. Allen came into the room. “Are you ready to dress for the ball?”
“I am,” Lulia answered. She held up the dress and then stepped into it, then turned to allow Mrs. Allen to tie the laces.
“Are you going to need assistance with your hair as well?”
Lulia hadn’t considered that. She usually kept her hair plaited and didn’t do anything elaborate to it. “Are you talented with hair?”
“Probably not as much as an actual lady’s maid is, but I can do a little.”
“All right, then,” Lulia said. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”
After the laces were tied, she sat down in a nearby chair. Mrs. Allen loosened the braid and let her midnight tresses fall in waves down her back. She brushed them until there were no knots, and then began to slowly twist and pin them in place. A few stray tendrils were left loose to drape over her shoulders and frame her face. “There,” Mrs. Allen said with a pleased tone. “You’re as pretty as a princess. Too bad we don’t have anything sparkly to adorn your beautiful hair with.”
Lulia didn’t even have any jewelry to wear. “I’m sure your handiwork is gorgeous enough.” She slid her kid slippers on and then came to her feet. Lulia exited her room with Mrs. Allen trailing after her, and then went down to her small foyer and donned her wrap. “It’s time I started walking to the ball.”
Mrs. Allen frowned. “But isn’t Lady Northesk going to retrieve you in her carriage?”
Lulia hadn’t spoken to Diana since she confessed to their relationship. She had no reason to believe she’d go out of her way to retrieve her. “Do you know something I don’t?”
“She sent word earlier,” Mrs. Allen answered. “Did Maxwell not tell you?”
“No.” Lulia hadn’t seen Maxwell all day. She’d had a lot going on. “Did she indicate when she’d be here?” A knock echoed through the room, immediately following her question. “That must be her now.”
Mrs. Allen opened the door and a footman stood on the other side. “Pardon me,” he said respectfully. “Is Lulia Vasile Alby in residence?”
He’d used her full name—even the part she’d stopped using years ago. That must be Diana’s way of telling her she fully accepted Lulia as her family. She would probably even go so far as to make her announce herself thusly at the ball. It would cement her place in society—it was her birthright, after all. Lulia shook her head and stepped around Mrs. Allen. “Is Lady Northesk here to retrieve me now?”
“Yes,” he replied. “If you’ll follow me.”
Lulia exited her home and shut the door behind her. Mrs. Allen would ensure the house was closed up properly before she retired for the evening. The footman led her to a nearby carriage and assisted her inside. Diana and Luther sat on one side, and she took the seat across from them.
“You look lovely,” Diana said. Her face lit up with a happy smile. “Are you ready to announce to the ton that you’re my family?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said softly. She hoped that Fin would find the news welcome. “But I never needed society to know about our connection. It’s enough for me that you do.”
Diana reached for her hand. “I know. But I don’t want to deny our relationship. You’ve always meant a lot to me, and while it was a surprise—I’m happy to call you family. Let me have this.”
“It’s best not to argue with her,” Luther said. He had a wicked grin on his face. “She usually gets her way.”
Lulia chuckled softly. “You’re right. She does—have it your way. We’ll announce it formally at the ball.”
“Good,” Diana said, a little too pleased with herself.
Lulia settled back into the seat and did her best to become as comfortable as possible. She might not have anything resembling comfort at the ball once the ton realized her connection to Diana. Lulia was the legitimate grandchild of an earl. That made her Lady Lulia Vasile Alby, and not the mere miss they had all believed.
Fin hated balls. Yes, He had wanted to attend this one so he could dance with Lulia, hold her in his arms, and pretend, for a while, that they had a chance at forever. He adored her and wanted to believe they had a future together. After he was announced he headed to the card room. He couldn’t be sure how long it would take for Lulia to arrive, but he didn’t want to remain in the ballroom long without her nearby. The matrons of the ton would consider him available to thrust their daughters upon him if he did.
There were a few eligible duke’s remaining in society, and he, unfortunately, was one of them. That made him one of the most desirable bachelors. Ashley, being a duke, was equally desirable, followed quickly by the Earl of Darcy as an heir to a dukedom. The only other person the mamas hoped would choose their young debutantes was the Marquess of Dashville. All of them were supposed to be in attendance of the Montford Christmastide ball, making it the most attended non-season function.
“The Earl and Countess of Northesk,” a servant announced. Fin turned to look toward the entrance. Lulia could be arriving with them, or maybe he was hoping she would. “Lady Lulia Vasile Alby,” the servant bellowed out her name. Fin froze in place. He didn’t understand. How… She’d never looked more stunning to him. The blue and silver coloring of her gown enhanced her natural beauty and took his breath away. Lulia had always been exquisite to him, but he never imagined that she could be more so. He had to go to her.
He was walking toward her before he even realized his feet had started moving. They met in the middle of the room, and it seemed as if no one else existed. She wore an exquisite gown that did wonderful things to her décolletage.
“Hello,” she said. Her voice had a demureness to it that hadn’t been there before.
“You’re as lovely as ever,” he complimented her. “Lady Lulia Vasile Alby.” He lifted a brow. “Are you keeping secrets from me?”
“Not intentionally,” she answered. “Or perhaps a little bit. It’s not something many are aware of. My grandfather was the Earl of Chaucerton. Diana is my cousin.”
“Yes,” he said more to himself than her. “You mentioned that you considered her family, but she really is a relation of yours.”
She nodded. “Our grandfather didn’t want anyone to realize my connection to the family. He was embarrassed by my gypsy roots—the earl disowned my father when he married my mother. When they died, he threatened me, so I stopped using the Alby name. I thought my entire family would disown me as well if they really knew me, so I never told Diana of our connection. At least not until a couple days ago… It was time.”
“I see,” he replied and glanced away from her. “When were you going to tell me?”
“I’m not certain…” He met her gaze. She nibbled on her lips and appeared a little nervous. “Diana decided for me tonight. She wants everyone to know we are family. She refuses to let the Earl of Chaucerton previous dictate anything to her. She doesn’t much like our grandfather, and besides she is Lady Northesk now. Her marriage gives her an untouchable aura.”
“What about you?” She didn’t have the protection of marriage. Her grandfather could and might decide she needed to be punished for her actions. Fin didn’t want anything to happen to her. He…loved her. “Who’s going to ensure you’re all right?”
She shrug
ged. “I’ll be fine. You needn’t worry about me. I’ve taken care of myself this long, and I’ll continue to do so.”
But he didn’t want her to have to go through life alone. Fin wanted to be by her side through it all. She had become important to him. No, she’d always been essential. It had taken him a while to figure it out. “Sometimes a person meets their destiny on the very road they were on to avoid it.” Fin brushed his hand over her hair. “I ran away from you and the pain of my father’s death. It seemed like the only choice I had at the time. I evaded it all, and still I somehow found where I always belonged when I wasn’t paying attention.”
Her lips tilted upward into a warm smile. “You selected which path to take without consciously realizing it.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “I chose you.” Fin wanted to kiss her the way he had at Vauxhall Gardens, but it wouldn’t be wise in the middle of the ballroom. “May I have the pleasure of the first waltz?”
She grinned. “You can have the pleasure of all the dances on my card. I didn’t bother to bring one. There’s only one gentleman I wish to lead me onto the floor.”
When he’d agree to attend the soiree with the Duke of Ashley, he never thought he’d realize how much he loved her. He should not have run away from her all those years ago. Maybe they could have had more time together if he hadn’t. He couldn’t go back and change that mistake, but he could do something that would ensure their future. “Will you marry me?”
She jerked backward, as if startled by the question. “You’re not asking because you want to protect me from my evil grandfather, are you?”
