"I'll help in any way I can. I trust Kat's judgment, I really do, but I'd like to see her myself."
Derek hesitated to answer, reaching for his phone, and clipped it back to his belt. "I'll have to talk to the sheriff, Doc. He's slightly protective of her right now. If she's scared to hear the word doctor, I'm not sure she'll want to actually see one."
"Well, for my peace of mind, I would appreciate it. For yours, and Sheriff Caldwell's, perhaps it will give you a peace of mind that I didn't do anything. The mind is a powerful thing, Deputy. She could be repressing her memories because of something terrible that happened to her. Even if she doesn't remember me, hypothetically saying I was the culprit, deep in her subconscious her reaction would shine through. Trust me on that."
Derek laughed a little at the lunacy of this conversation. "So what you're saying, Doc, is that you had nothing to do with harming her. To prove that, you want to see her. She won't react to you because you didn't do anything. But for some strange reason she does, does that mean I can arrest you and consider you guilty?"
Dr. Matthews laughed with him. "Yes."
He started to gather his files again. "I would also like to make sure she is alright. Head injuries can be dangerous. She really should go to a hospital."
"Well, unless we drug her, or tie her up, or force her in some sort of way, she's not going to step inside a hospital. Trust me, Doc, the terror I saw in her eyes when Kat suggested it was immense. She refused left and right. I don't think that’s going to happen."
"Talk to the sheriff then. I want to see her myself."
***
Logan took his time picking up the cabin, doing the dishes, and anything else he could think of before his eyes told him they were ready for bed. But then he saw their cups and plates from their bedtime snack and needed to wash them, too. Anything to keep his mind off the beautiful woman lying on his couch, waiting for him. He could feel her eyes watching him as he moved around, yet she didn't say anything. He hated to admit that he liked her looking at him. Just as much as he would've liked to watch her. She was slowly getting under his skin, and he wasn't sure if he liked that. It wouldn't do well for him to get attached, or act on the emotions swimming through his veins every time he thought about her.
His sister had stayed for supper, but bowed out after they ate. Only one night. Yet, he found himself wanting to reach out to Doni, as she liked to be called now, as he did the first night. But he couldn't. Because his damn sister wouldn't leave. He did not need her reading into that. He didn't even know how to react to his own emotions. He knew one thing for sure. He enjoyed touching her. And it played hell on his body that he couldn't when he wanted to.
He thought back to the conversation he had with Derek. He trusted his instincts when Derek told him Dr. Matthews had nothing to do with hurting Doni. He didn't think so either. He'd known the man since he was a child, seeing him for every illness and check-up for as long as he could remember. He was a good man. He just wasn't sure he wanted him around Doni. He didn't know how she would react.
"Logan?"
He turned his head towards the couch as he put the last plate away. "Yeah, honey."
"Can you...can you come here?"
He threw the towel down he used for drying the dishes and walked over to her, kneeling down, a fast habit he created since finding her. "What's up, sweetheart? Do you need to use the bathroom again?"
She shook her head. "No. I...you know...umm..."
He hadn't grabbed her hand since before he left in the morning to track her bloody footprints. He suddenly couldn't stand not to hold her hand anymore with her stammering to get out whatever she was struggling to say. He swiftly locked hands with her. "Take your time. What's wrong?"
"You mentioned letting me sleep in the bedroom tonight...the only bedroom."
"Yeah, you need your rest. It's a comfortable bed. I'll sleep out here, no problem."
"But I don't want to."
Logan looked surprised at that. "Why not?"
"I just feel better out here. It...it doesn't feel as confined."
He immediately remembered her nightmare and being held in a small, dark room with no windows.
Confined.
"Of course. It's no problem wherever you sleep. I understand."
She looked away from him, her body shivering.
"I'm sorry, Doni," he said, loosening his grip on her hand.
She squeezed his hand tightly before he could fully let go and whipped her eyes to his. "Why are you sorry?"
"For not using the name Doni. I know you like to be called that now. I'll try really hard not to call you anything else."
"I don't mind that. Don't be sorry."
"Then why are you shaking? I can feel it...and I can see it. What else is bothering you? I won't hurt you."
"I know that. I just...can you sleep on the floor out here? I'd feel better with you close by," she said, biting her bottom lip.
"I can do that. I just don't want you scared of me. You'll let me know if you ever are."
"I will."
"Well, I can feel the chill coming in from outside. Let me get a fire going for tonight and then we can hit the sack. I'm tired. How about you?"
She shook her head. "I am. I feel like I slept most of the day, but I am tired."
"That's because your body is healing. It needs the rest. You'll be up and at 'em in no time. Let me get that fire going," Logan said, pulling his hand away.
He stood up, turning around with quick feet as he let loose a silent sigh, and walked over to the fireplace. The sudden urge to kiss her again had consumed his senses. Two choices grappled his sanity—either jump in for the dive, or walk away. Walking away seemed like the better choice. Neither had brought up the short kiss from earlier, and quite frankly, he didn't know how to bring it up. He didn't know why he did it in the first place. He was the sheriff and he needed to remember that. He was here to help her, not seduce her. If not for the potential danger plaguing her, he might have convinced her himself to stay with Kat. But he was concerned for her safety. He felt better knowing she was within his eyesight, no one else's.
What did that tell him?
He was helping her, protecting her. He couldn't read into it any other way.
He quickly made a fire, used the bathroom, changed into a new shirt and sweats, even though he normally only slept in boxers, and settled into his makeshift bed on the floor.
"Need to use the bathroom? I should've asked before I laid down," Logan said, turning towards her.
She was looking down at him with a tender look. "No. I'm fine. I'm ready for bed. Thank you, Logan. I know the floor isn't that comfortable."
He gave her an affectionate grin that melted her heart. "It's just fine, honey. I've fallen asleep on that couch. It's not that comfortable either."
"I like it just fine. Goodnight, Logan."
He gave her a wink and watched as she closed her eyes first. He lay there for a while just watching her sleep, vowing to himself, he would never stop looking for the answers to her mystery. She needed to know. So did he. His sister's game may have unlocked a few answers. But could they trust those answers? Was she really single, not married, like Kat's little experiment suggested? The risk involved was too high, he thought, as he rolled over to the other side. He'd never fall asleep turned that way.
He knew it was still dark when the screaming pierced his ears. Like the night before, the same terrifying words spilled from her lips. This time he was a little more prepared, having scooted closer to the couch in case she rolled off from a nightmare. He just had an intuition that another nightmare would occur. Before he could sit up and grab her, she fell off the couch right into his arms.
He wrapped his arms around her as she started to struggle. "Shh, honey. Don't fight me. You're safe. I got you."
Unlike last night, she calmed down almost instantly when she felt his words hit her ear. She relaxed into his body and started to cry. He rubbed her back soothingly as he whispered enc
ouragingly into her ear that everything would be alright. That she was safe. Nobody could hurt her anymore.
"I'm sorry, Logan," she whispered into his chest.
"You have nothing to be sorry about."
"I fell on you...I'm still lying on top of you."
"And I'm okay with that. I just don't want you scared, or having such horrible nightmares. You know you're safe now, right?" he whispered, kissing the top of her head in reassurance.
"Yes. I feel safe with you."
"Good. I won't hurt you or let anyone else hurt you ever again. I promise," he said, rubbing her back in slow, small circles. "What was it about?"
She shivered in his arms.
"It's okay, honey. We need to talk about it. You can't bottle it up. Talk to me. You're safe. You're in my arms and nothing can hurt you," Logan said, trying to calm the shivers overwhelming her body by rubbing her back a little more vigorously, yet soothingly.
"Don't let him get me, please, Logan," she cried softly as she pressed her face further into his chest.
"No one will get you. I swear on my life. You're safe," Logan said firmly, pressing another soft kiss to her head. "Do you remember anything new?"
"No...same horrible nightmare. Just hold me, Logan. Please. I can't...let me stay right here."
"I'm not letting you go anywhere," Logan said as he tightened his hold.
He tried breathing easy as she lay in his arms, cradled just perfectly into his body. She felt so good, pressed against him like this; it was hard to control his body's reaction. Hearing her whispering words of terror, helped to dispel that control. But the minute he felt her even breathing, knowing she was asleep, he couldn't help but let his body react to her softness. She just felt so good pressed against him.
Before it came too prominent and known to her, even in her sleep, that he was hard as a rock, he slowly rolled her to his side, letting her head rest lightly on his chest. He missed her sweet body melting into his flawlessly, but too much temptation swamped every core in his body laying that way. She felt just as delightful nestled on his chest. Yet, to his chagrin, the temptation still swirled in his veins.
What was he doing? He was the sheriff. He shouldn't be having these lustrous thoughts about this woman who had no idea about her name, her background, or any little part of her life. As he continued to lie there, enjoying her warm body next to his, he didn't care about any of that. He knew he'd help solve this mystery. And when he was done, he'd make her his. He suddenly didn't want to lose her from his life.
***
"Hey, Doc. Thanks for coming," Logan said, reaching out to shake hands with him.
Dr. Matthews gripped his hand tightly, as he normally did. "Are you sure? You sounded hesitant on the phone."
"I tried bringing up the hospital again this morning and it didn't go so well. I'm not sure it's best we introduce you as a doctor right away. She's fragile right now. I want to tread lightly. Is that okay?" Logan knew no other way to put it. He didn't want to lie to her, but he also didn't want to have to calm her down—in front of Dr. Matthews, Derek, and Kat. He'd be too tempted to pull her into his arms. And he certainly didn't want to do that in front of them.
"Whatever you think, Sheriff. How is she feeling today?"
"Good. She said her head didn't hurt as bad today. She had a headache yesterday. Her body is achy and sore, but otherwise healing just fine."
"That's good to hear. Lead the way." Dr. Matthews gestured towards the cabin door.
Logan nodded. He walked up the steps and opened the door, trying to hide his nerves that tingled in every vein. He didn't want her upset. Not over anything.
Logan smiled reassuringly at Doni as Dr. Matthews walked in after him. Her face showed signs of fear, and confusion. He knew she didn't like it anytime someone else stepped into the cabin. He always told her who, and when, someone new would be coming. He didn't mention the possible visit by Dr. Matthews. He didn't know what to say. So he didn't say anything.
He hated seeing the fear. He hated seeing the confusion. The fear was normal, the confusion not so much. But a good sign. That confirmed everything he believed. She had never met Dr. Matthews in her life. That is, if Dr. Matthews theory was correct. Logan believed it was.
"I want you to meet someone. This is Do—ve Matthews."
Doni couldn't help it. A smile tinged her lips. "Dove?"
Dr. Matthews coughed as he tried to hide his laugh. The sheriff almost called him doctor and had to improvise.
"A nickname, rarely used, but there it is. A little silly, isn't it," Dr. Matthews said with a gentle smile, taking a seat on the lounge near the couch.
"It's unique. I like it. You can call me Doni." She smiled back, but the fear could be heard in her voice. She was trying to keep it together. For Logan.
"Thank you. I was in the area and thought I'd visit. How are you feeling?" Dr. Matthews said softly, looking her from head to toe as unobtrusively as he could.
Logan sat next to Doni, by her feet, noticing her suspicious look directed at Dr. Matthews. He laid a tender hand on her leg. "He's a good friend. You can trust him."
"I'm feeling okay. Sore, but okay," she finally answered hesitantly.
"I'd like to make sure. Just a quick exam. Nothing over the top. Head injuries, memory loss, are very concerning."
Doni's eyes bulged with shock. "Who are you? Are you a do—who are you?"
"I—" Dr. Matthews stopped speaking when he saw the nasty glare from the sheriff.
Logan's lips pulled into a thin line, his fists clenching at his side that Dr. Matthews had the audacity to say anything like that. He should've figured. When had Dr. Matthews ever held back in his life. He was straightforward, to the point, in your face, get right down to business sort of man. But he had trusted Dr. Matthews to listen to his words outside. He didn't want to rush her, and that's exactly what he did.
Instead of shouting at him in anger, he loosened his hands and stood up. He knelt in front of Doni.
"I'm sorry. His name is Dr. Matthews. Kat's boss. He was very persuasive in wanting to make sure you are truly okay. I'll kick him out if you really want me to, but it would make me feel better if you just let him check you out."
"Kat already did," she whispered, the terror slicing in her words.
"I know. Why do you think you're scared whenever I suggest seeing a doctor?"
She thought it over, peeking a glance at Dr. Matthews. "I have no idea. I just feel this intense fear when you suggest it. It consumes my body."
"Is it consuming you right now?" Logan had to ask. He was almost afraid to hear the answer.
She stole another glance at Dr. Matthews. "Is he really a doctor?"
"Yes. I've known him since I was a kid."
She paused, taking her time to process her emotions. "No, it's not consuming me. He looks nice. I can't explain why I'm scared of seeing a doctor. He doesn't look that scary."
Logan wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. "He's not. He is very nice. Let him look you over. Please, honey."
"Okay, Logan. For you."
Logan backed away, giving Dr. Matthews another glare, but permission to examine her.
He waited with Doni while Dr. Matthews grabbed his medical bag from his car. When he stepped back inside the cabin, he came alone. Kat and Derek obviously intended to continue to wait outside. He had asked them to hang out on the porch when Dr. Matthews arrived. He wished he had let his sister in the cabin now. Doni looked uncomfortable while Dr. Matthews examined her. Not scared, though. That was a plus. He sat on the edge of the lounge the entire time. His nerves danced every time he saw her cringe in pain.
He stood up the minute Dr. Matthews finished.
"Everything looks good. Ribs are sore. I don't think they're fractured or anything, but an x-ray would confirm. I would like to do one, just to be safe."
"No. I'm fine. You just said I'm fine. I don't need one." Doni curled into a ball, clamping her mouth closed from the pain created by that movement.
"No, I don't. I'm a cautious man, you know this, Sheriff."
"I know. Doni's been through a lot. If she doesn't want to go, then I don't want to make her."
"Fair enough. I want to see you in my office next week to see how you're healing." He smiled warmly at her.
"I…I'm fine."
"We'll talk next week, Doc. How's that?" Logan said. He wouldn't push her, or let anyone else, for that matter.
"That's just fine. I know you're scared, Doni. I understand. We'll do this at your pace. If anything, I can make another house call. How about that?" Dr. Matthews suggested.
"I suppose that would be okay, Do—ve."
Dr. Matthews grinned. "We'll figure out why you don't like doctors, or even saying the word. You are more than welcome to call me Dove. Makes me feel young."
"Dove isn't a nickname, is it?" she asked, glancing between the two, a small smile hiding. It really was a silly name.
"I said I was sorry," Logan murmured. "I didn't want to frighten you, knowing he was a doctor. Do you forgive me?"
"Yes. Because you were looking out for me. I appreciate that, Logan." She looked at Dr. Matthews. She saw the gray hair sprinkled in between the black hair that covered his head in tiny waves. He had wrinkles that lined his eyes when he smiled. Although, he didn't look that old. He reminded her of someone. It sat there in the back of her mind, huddled in the corner, refusing to come out. The thought didn't frighten her, though.
"Thank you, Dove."
"You're welcome, my dear. Get plenty of rest. I'll see you next week."
"I'll be right back, honey. I'm just going to walk Dr. Matthews out."
Logan walked outside with Dr. Matthews, letting his anger spew out the minute the door clicked shut.
"If I didn't respect you, I would be sorely tempted to hit you."
"What happened? Shit! Do I have to get my handcuffs out?" Derek asked, standing up from the rocking chair where him and Kat had been waiting patiently.
Escaping Memories Page 7
