by J. L. Drake
“Thanks.” I nodded and stared at all her bruises. I knew the worst would be mental. She looked…defeated.
“So, you gave your official statement?” Her voice was hoarse.
“I have that covered. I gave Ivan enough of a picture, so he knows what happened. He is meeting us back at your place so we can give our statements tonight.”
“Well, we also have protocol here at the hospital, so if the officers out there want—”
“Nurse Rigger,” Dr. Mallow interrupted, “if the lieutenant said he has it covered, he has it covered.” Dr. Mallow rolled her eyes at me like the nurse had been giving her trouble all day.
“Fine, then, just trying to follow the book.” He stepped away and disappeared out the door.
“Sorry, sugar.” She chuckled as she moved closer to Arizona. “The new ones tend to overthink everything. It’s all good. He’ll relax by the end of his first week.”
“It’s no problem.” I sent her a warm smile.
“How are you doing, darlin’?” She squinted at the bump on her forehead. “That looks painful.”
“I’m all right.”
“I understand this isn’t your first time being hit on the head?”
“Nope,” she shook her head, “but it will be my last.”
“There’s the fire I was hoping for.” She reviewed the chart and handed me a prescription for some pain meds. “Lots of rest and not too much eye strain.” She studied Arizona with a knowing look. “Now, why don’t you get this gal home? She’s had enough for one day. I’ll have a nurse take you down.”
“Glad to.” I helped Arizona to her feet and into the wheelchair. Once the doctor left to get the nurse, the place fell silent.
“Are you okay? Are you hungry, thirsty?” I tried to feel her out.
“Honestly, I just want to go to bed.”
“That, I can do. Give me a sec, and I’ll call a cab.” She looked up with a question. “I kind of ran here.” I tried to smile, but my lips didn’t quite make it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Arizona
“Get your head out of my fridge or I will kick you out and tell Mom on you,” I threatened Nix. He was in my way in the kitchen again.
“I’m just making sure you have mayo.” Nix held up a grocery list he was making me.
“More ice cream would be great, Nix,” Damien shouted from the couch. My brothers were getting way too comfortable at my place. A conversation was in order, but I couldn’t face it just now. I had returned to work and had a lot of other things on my mind. I planned to chat with Carter about it tonight.
“Don’t you guys have jobs? Or girlfriends or some kind of life?” I hissed, grumpy from having them around too long. More than anything, I just wanted a day on my own without anyone up my butt. I loved my family, but I needed some space.
My phone vibrated, and I snagged it out of Nix’s hand.
“Really?”
“I’m just—” He held up his hands and went back to the couch while I turned with a huff.
Grady: So, should I kick your ass now or later? I gave you a couple of days to call me…
Oh, shit. I felt like crap. Poor Grady was always my go-to person. So, for him to find out from, most likely, Mom would have left a sting.
Ari: OMG I’m so sorry I didn’t call you.
Grady: Jesus, girl, you scared me. How are you?
Ari: I’m good. Just a little shook up, that’s all.
Grady: Lucky that.
Ari: Sorry again. I’ve been really busy the last few days getting my life back.
Grady: Happy for you, then.
Ari: With Myles out of the picture, I can sure breathe easier!
Grady: I’ve been doing some digging on that asshole.
Ari: Well, he can’t hurt me anymore, anyway.
I wasn’t sure exactly what he could dig up, but if it made Grady happy to dig, I was fine with it.
Grady: Okay, girl, just keep in touch, damn it.
Ari: I will.
“Knock, knock.” Jessi came in with an arm full of groceries. “I have goodies!”
Damien nearly tripped over the side table to see what she brought.
“You’re worse than the kids at the center.” She laughed and handed him a bag of All Dressed Chips.
“Thanks.” He kissed her cheek and headed back to the couch.
“And for you…” She pulled out a fat donair, and I almost drooled.
“Where did you find this?”
“Oh, please, I have my connections.” She walked backward toward Nix and dropped a chocolate bar on his lap before she started to fill my fridge with all kinds of yummy things. “Besides, I heard,” she nodded at Nix, “that you haven’t been eating much.”
“It’s not for a lack of trying, believe me. They hardly leave me any food.” I peeled the tin foil back and drizzled the white sauce over the meat.
“Are you still having trouble sleeping? Maybe you need to think about going back to your therapist?”
“I am, actually. I’m not messing around with this second chance thing.” I took the bottle of water she handed me. “But it takes time, and I haven’t had enough time alone to clarify my thoughts yet.”
“Sorry, Ari,” Damien called out, obviously eavesdropping. I heard him yell “ouch” as Nix probably kicked him.
“Thanks for this, Jessi.” I bit into the heavenly meat, and my stomach welcomed it. Glad my appetite was back, I enjoyed the whole beautiful thing.
My brothers stayed until after dinner, and thanks to a persistent bestie, she convinced them to leave, as she was going to spend the night. As soon as she mentioned girly-type conversation, they were heading for the door. I knew they probably had been hanging around to make sure I was okay, and hopefully they now got the point that it was time to go.
“I’ve missed this.” Jessi kicked her feet up, sipped her wine, and dug into the M&M dish to pick out the odd shaped ones she claimed should be eaten first.
“Me too.” I smiled and realized I really was happy.
The next morning, I left Jessi to clean up after breakfast and headed off to my appointment.
The inside of Dr. Sandra’s office was warm and inviting. Though I despised fish, a hangover from a particularly smelly tank Nix had when we were young, this one was a pretty saltwater aquarium that sat under her window with a few pretty Nemo-looking fish in it. It was rather relaxing to watch them swirl in and out of their tiny caves. I smiled at the sign at the entrance of one of the little caves that read, “The doctor is in.”
I was lucky enough to find this therapist a while back after going through three who were definitely not the right fit for me. Grady convinced me to keep at it until I found one I could open up to. It was hard to repeat my life story over and over again to a stranger, but it ended well because Dr. Sandra immediately put me at ease and soon knew how to get through to me without me wanting to shut down.
“How have you been since I saw you last?”
“Pretty good, actually.” I used my thumbs to peel back the wrapper on the Jolly Rancher candy. “I did what you said, and my nerves seem to be settling. I had a sleepover with Jessi last night, and my relationship with Carter is really solid.”
“Wonderful.”
“Yeah, it is, but…” I hesitated while an old familiar and uncomfortable bubble of emotion fizzled to the surface. “I guess I just wished it had gone down differently this time. I wish I had fought back and not just stood there like usual waiting to be hurt. I was so determined not ever to be a victim again.” And there was the elephant in my emotional room.
“Arizona.” She set her iPad down and leaned forward, elbows on her legs to show me I had all of her attention. “First of all, you did do something, but you’re mentally blocking that out because you didn’t stop him completely. Remember what I have been say
ing to you since we met. You were the victim of spousal abuse. Remember the power and control wheel? You cannot expect to suddenly be able to break free from the control he had over you. Surviving doesn’t always mean fighting back. But you are now a survivor. You’re free, and he is not.”
“I know this.” I took a deep breath and tried to let her words soothe me.
“You do, but it’s okay to question it after going through another event. That’s totally normal, but don’t let your doubt or shame get in the way of everything else. You’re here telling me about it while he sits behind bars.”
“I hope he drops the soap.” I snickered but slapped a hand over my mouth in case that sounded inappropriate.
“You and me both.” She winked and went back to filling out some notes. “How’s Jasper? Are you two still fighting?”
“Oh, well, you know.” I chuckled at her change of subject. “He’s still flipping cups off tables, but I stuck him in a holiday sweater that had bells on it over Christmas.” As the doc raised her eyebrows, I defended myself. “Well, I mean he had made some particularly bratty moves and totally deserved it. Anyway, every time I jiggle it, he behaves, so I’d say we’re good.”
“Please tell me you have a photo?”
“I have videos!” We laughed at how pissed off Jasper looked.
As Dr. Sandra pushed her thick-rimmed glasses farther up her nose to tap on her iPad, I couldn’t help but notice her break a smile.
“What?”
“I’m just really happy for you, Arizona. You’ve been so brave leaving Myles, finding your own place, finding your own path that’s just for you, and now look. You have a new boyfriend who seems wonderful, new friends, and you arrived today with a smile. First time in, what?” She paused to think. “Ever.”
I leaned back and let the sweet-sour taste of the red Jolly Rancher swell my taste buds with deliciousness.
Wow, that was true.
“I guess you’re right.” I beamed back and noticed the weight that normally was rooted deep in my chest wasn’t there.
“Progress,” she noted.
“Progress.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Carter
“Just one more for the road.” I pulled Arizona to my lips and kissed her one last time before I let her go. My lunch was about to end, and she was going to be late for work.
“Will I see you tonight?” She ran a finger down the center of my chest while I dropped kisses to her jaw.
“You’ll see all of me tonight.” I winked, fully intending to devour every inch of that woman the moment I got home.
“Good.” I noticed she took a beat to check her phone. “Any word on Walker’s grandmother?”
Arizona’s hand dropped away, and I knew it wasn’t good news. Walker’s grandfather asked us to watch him the day before yesterday, but I wasn’t there when he was picked up. My shift started before I could talk to her about any of it.
“Looks like it’s only a matter of days, and I suspect his grandpa won’t cope well with it. He’s so tired and barely has enough energy to keep up with Walker as it is.”
“That’s a shame.” My heart broke for them all.
“Not much we can do but be there for them when we can.”
“Agreed.” I pulled her in for a hug and rested my chin on her head. “He’s lucky to have you at the center.”
“He’s lucky to have both of us keeping an eye on him.” She nuzzled my neck before her loving eyes found mine, and I knew she was going to be okay. “So, dinner tonight and you for dessert.”
I laughed and opened the door for the fifth time, knowing this time we really needed to get moving.
“Bye.” She blew me a kiss, and I watched her walk away and knew I would count down the minutes until I’d see her again.
Three hours later, and no calls had come in. I officially got caught up on all my paperwork and had a great chat with my mom, who filled me in on how Sarah was holding up. I was pleased to hear she was fine and seemed to be moving on. Thankfully, the relationship hadn’t developed all that far, and there was only a distant hope of it turning into anything more. I knew she had wished it would, though, and now she would guard her heart even more closely with anyone else she met.
The smoke alarm in our kitchen went off, and the laughter drew me in that direction. Sure enough, Cook had burned tonight’s dinner, and the guys were in full swing of giving him shit. I picked up the stack of takeout menus we kept on the side table and tossed them on the counter just to add to the fun. More insults were thrown, and the fun continued until I spotted Ivan standing in the doorway. He motioned for me to step outside the kitchen.
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
Ivan tucked one hand in his pocket, and the other rubbed the stress lines that seemed to be permanently tattooed on his forehead.
“I’m not going to drag this out, Carter, but I wanted you to hear it from me before anyone else.”
“Okay. I appreciate that.” I folded my arms, knowing something bad was about to drop.
“Myles’s father bailed him out a few hours ago.”
I felt like the room just dropped around me, and I was left standing like the studs, bare and exposed.
“How?” I shook my head, trying to understand what the hell I just heard. “How in the hell did someone get bailed out when they have an attempted murder charge staring them in the face?”
“Money.” He pressed his lips together, and I could see how much it was bothering him, too. Ivan was a good cop and a great friend. I knew this wasn’t easy on him.
“I don’t get it.”
“Welcome to my world, where the criminals walk, and the innocent are stalked.”
My arms fell and my shoulders slumped. This was going to destroy Arizona.
“Now what?”
“Now,” he leaned back on the wall and took a long breath, “Arizona gets a restraining order, and we all hope to God he doesn’t try anything until his case is heard.”
“Which is?”
“Three weeks from today.”
“That’s something.” I actually felt pleased. Most of the time, these cases were dragged out forever.
“The judge on the case is friend of my buddy’s, and he said the judge has had his eye on Young, Inc. for some time now. Apparently, they have bad blood between them from years ago, and he was more than happy to move this case along.”
“Good.” I tried to get my thoughts in order. “Now I just need to break the news to Arizona before she hears it somewhere else.”
“Do you want me to do it?”
“No.” I appreciated his offer but knew it would be better coming from me. I cursed when I heard the alert that a call had come in. I thanked Ivan and rushed to the truck.
A burned warehouse and two injured people later, and my shift finally ended. I hung my gear, wrote my report, and headed out into the cool evening. A heaviness sat across my shoulders, and I could feel it deep in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I hated to go home and end her happiness. I couldn’t help but think that once again the rich were coming out on top. The Youngs were privileged, and money talked. With Myles out on bail, Arizona would be the one who would feel like a prisoner.
I stood outside her apartment door with my key in my hand, ready to go in, when I heard her singing along to her music. Closing my eyes, I wished the news was better. She was healing and finding happiness in everything lately, and I was so proud of her.
Knowing I couldn’t stall any more, I opened the door and dropped my bag on the floor. I didn’t want to startle her, so I made my way over to the TV and turned off Twenty One Pilots that was running through its album.
“Hey, you.” She held a wooden spoon to show me she was cooking. “How was the rest of your shift?”
“Long.” I shrugged out of my coat and leaned down to
kiss her when she approached me. When she pulled back, I could tell she spotted it by the way her eyes narrowed and her mouth twisted.
She turned to head back into the kitchen to stir whatever was in the pot.
“How’s Cook?”
“Good.”
“Many calls today?”
“Just one.” I sank into the chair and saw Jasper yawn and noted his change of body position to indicate he wasn’t happy with the sudden change of noise in the room.
“Was it bad?”
“Nothing a little oxygen and insurance won’t fix.”
“What did Ivan have to say?”
“He said…” I paused when I caught what she had just done. “How did you…” I trailed off when I saw her worried face.
“I figured something happened.” She shrugged.
“Yeah.” I sighed, knowing my mother always said I didn’t wear my emotions well.
“So, what’s the news?”
“Maybe you should sit.”
“No.” She reached for the counter after a beat.
I tugged at a napkin that was laid out on the table. I needed something to fiddle with. Bad news was something I had to give often, but sitting across from the woman I loved made it a total game changer.
“Carter,” she prompted.
“Ken bailed out Myles today.”
Oh, yeah, that was smooth. Nothing like blurting out the unvarnished truth.
She froze, and the color drained from her face. I moved to go to her, but she held up a hand to stop me, trying to process what I had said.
“Look, Arizona,” I tried to help her navigate through the fog, “Ivan told me there’s a condition with his release, and if he so much as looks in your direction, he goes back in. Ivan also has a friend who helped move the case up, and they go to court in three weeks. We just need to get through these next three weeks.”
She went to speak, but nothing came out. When she finally made eye contact with me, I saw the terror sitting right on the edge of her mind. Her fear hit me like a punch to the stomach, and I needed to hold her. With my hands out in front of me, I walked toward her, and she backed up a step or two, but soon I was close enough to tug her tightly to me. She buried her face in my chest and broke.
