by Eden Darry
At least she’d set up the camp while he was gone. She’d started a small fire and got some food going.
“I fell,” he said, pre-empting any questions from her. “And I don’t want to talk about it.” That had usually been enough to shut Shirl up.
“Do you want a plaster and some anti—”
“I said, I don’t want to talk about it.” His voice was loud in the silence. Birds who had begun to roost for the night squawked and beat their wings, took panicked flight. Terry kicked the closest thing to him which happened to be a pile of sticks Dani must have gathered. They scattered and rolled away.
He looked around him for something else to take out his anger on. The only thing likely to give satisfaction was Dani, but she was already backing away further into the field, and he knew he wouldn’t outrun her. As quickly as it flared, his temper banked. But it wasn’t gone, and Terry knew it would likely spark again at the slightest provocation.
Terry sat down and held up his hands to show he wasn’t angry any more. Dani stayed where she was. Smart girl.
“I’m sorry, love. I fell. My head hurts and I’m tired.”
Dani nodded and edged closer but not close enough to be within reach. She’d learned from the last time he lashed out at her. “Do you want a beer, Mr. Pratt? The food should be ready soon.”
“Thanks, love. That would be nice.”
He watched her bend over and reach inside the tent. Something low down stirred, and he felt shame and excitement at the sight of her.
By the time she came back out and handed him the beer, Terry was leaning back on his elbows and watching the sky darken to a deep red-blue. Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Meant it would be a lovely day tomorrow.
“Did you have a boyfriend, love? Before all this.” Terry sipped from his beer and watched her carefully. She didn’t look up from poking the fire.
“No, Mr. Pratt.”
“You’d be pretty if you grew your hair. Got rid of all that metal in your face.”
“I like the way I look,” she said, and there was a hardness in her voice.
“Must put the boys off, though.”
“I’m not interested in what boys think, Mr. Pratt.”
“So you are a dy—lesbian.”
Dani sighed as if he was boring her. She probably rolled her eyes but he couldn’t tell because her face was hidden. Staring down at the fire.
Terry’s rage lit again and he threw the bottle at her. Missed by a mile.
“Stop doing that.” She looked up at him, anger in her eyes. Defiance. “Or I’ll leave. We both know you’ve got no chance of catching me.”
You fat git was left unsaid.
“Hey now, don’t you speak to me like that, young lady—”
“No, Mr. Pratt. You listen to me. I thought I needed you. That I was safer with you along, but I’m not. I realized this afternoon that I don’t need you at all. You need me, though. I don’t know why yet, but you do.”
Terry sat up. His fists clenched, his face heated. His stomach churned and roiled. Not used to being spoken to like that, he didn’t know what to say. His mouth bobbed open, then closed. She was right. If he wanted to see his son again, he did need her. He wanted to smash the little bitch’s face in. Crush her with the force of his rage. Instead, he took a deep breath. Exhaled. “I didn’t mean anything by it, love. Sorry if I upset you. You shouldn’t be so sensitive. Let’s eat and say no more about it.”
He leaned back on his elbows again and pretended to look at the sky. All the time the anger lapped at the shore inside him, and his mind worked, ticked over, weighed up his options.
It hadn’t occurred to him the girl might have a backbone. That she might recognize the situation for what it was and realize she was the one with the upper hand. He would need to think on it because if she didn’t need him, if she wasn’t scared of him, she might not stay.
* * *
Loveday took a deep breath. She didn’t want to tell this story—she preferred to tell the ones she made up. She’d kept it to herself for so long. The shame of her greatest cowardice. But Ellery was looking at her with such compassion and understanding. Even when she’d said the words, Ellery’s face hadn’t changed—she didn’t take them literally. She’d understood it wasn’t what Loveday meant.
“I had a girlfriend four years ago. Grace. We met through friends.” Loveday’s words were halting. She felt around them with her tongue, which was thick and heavy in her mouth.
“It’s okay, Loveday,” Ellery said.
“She was fun and exciting and things moved quickly. We moved in together, far too soon. We hardly knew each other. Grace was troubled. Angry, sometimes. She’d go into these rages.”
“Did she hit you?” Ellery asked.
“No.” She hadn’t ever hit Loveday, but the anger and vitriol in her words worked just as well as a slap. “We stayed together for two years. I should have left earlier, but when she was in a good mood she was amazing. You just wanted to be around her.”
Ellery nodded. Loveday studied her but found no pity in her eyes, and she was relieved. “One evening, she kicked off. Worse than I’d seen her. She started trashing the flat. Screaming nonsense. I ran. It was the last time I ever saw her.”
“What happened?”
Loveday breathed deep and closed her eyes. “The flat burned down. I don’t know if she started it or something caught when she threw it in a rage. Either way she didn’t or couldn’t get out.”
“How is that your fault?”
“Because it was like earlier. I knew something was going to happen. Something bad.”
“You knew she’d die?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“I felt…dread. I knew something would happen. But I wasn’t sure if it was a response to the situation I’d just run from, so I ignored the feeling. I left her to it. Left her to die.” Loveday’s throat was tight. Too tight. Her eyes stung but stayed dry. After Grace died, she’d done nothing but cry. Maybe there were no tears left.
“After that, I decided to move. Get away from my old life and be on my own.” Over the years with Grace, her heart had hardened with every cruel word and outburst. When Grace died, she finally sealed it up, like a manhole cover being pulled across a sewer. Done with it all.
“I’m so sorry, Loveday. I’m sorry someone you loved treated you that way. And I’m sorry you blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Mostly, though, I’m sorry you’ve allowed it to rule your life for so long.”
Loveday’s head shot up at that. How fucking dare she. “You don’t know anything about me.” Her voice was cold.
“That’s true. But I know this.”
“You’re a fine one to talk. Your parents are arseholes who don’t care about you, so you cut yourself off from everyone else and live a half life in the middle of nowhere.”
She saw Ellery flinch and felt bad, but she couldn’t stop it. This was her defence mechanism. Cruel words. And she had a knack for finding her mark every time. Not so different from Grace.
She watched Ellery stand up. Waited for her to walk away and leave her. It’s what she wanted, after all, and it always worked before.
Loveday was confused when Ellery came and sat down beside her, pulled her into her arms. She struggled and then was still. She tucked her head under Ellery’s chin and allowed herself to be held. It felt good.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right that I don’t know you. But what happened with your girlfriend wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”
In Ellery’s arms, she wondered if maybe she could. She’d told her the worst thing about herself, her biggest shame, and Ellery hadn’t run away. Loveday closed her eyes and leaned in to Ellery’s warm body.
“I’m sorry too,” she mumbled against her neck.
“Okay. We’re both sorry. I’m probably sorrier, though.”
Loveday laughed and poked Ellery’s side. “Shut up. You’re rui
ning the moment.”
Ellery squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry.”
Sometime later they climbed into the tent and by unspoken agreement got into the same sleeping bag. The pets flanked them on either side and it was nice. Loveday couldn’t remember the last time anyone held her just to give comfort. She wondered if anyone ever held Ellery that way. She wanted to ask but didn’t want to cause any more pain than she already had. Instead she shifted, so Ellery’s head was under her chin. She pulled her tight against her body and stroked her hair. It was softer than it looked. It was nice. They fell asleep that way.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Loveday stood high on the edge of a cliff. The same one as before. Ellery was next to her. The sea was calm and blue and blended with the sky above. A mild breeze drifted in off the water.
“Back here again,” Ellery said.
“Looks like it. At least the weather’s better.”
Loveday turned, and the girl, Dani, walked towards them. She raised her hand in greeting and smiled.
“You’re on the way and that’s good, but you need to hurry.”
“Hurry to where?” Loveday asked. “We don’t even know where you are. Where we should go.”
“You’re heading in the right direction, but you need to move faster. I don’t have much time.”
“Before what? How can we help you if you won’t make sense.” Ellery sounded frustrated. “Can’t you just tell us where we should go and why?”
“I told you before. This is the end—”
“Yes. You’ve said. But what does it mean?”
“It’s not information you need yet. Keep heading north, and hurry. That’s all you need to know. My time is running out. He’s going to kill me.”
Dani said it simply, but it sent chills up Loveday’s spine. As if in sympathy, the sky darkened and the wind picked up. The waves began to crash and foam. A storm was coming.
“Who’s going to kill you? Can’t you get away from him?” Loveday shouted to be heard above the screaming wind.
Dani shook her head. “I don’t know what I don’t know.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” Ellery shouted. “Make sense! Speak fucking sense!”
* * *
Ellery sat up. Her throat burned, and she realized she was still screaming. A hand on her back rubbed small circles. Loveday.
“It’s just the dream, Ellery. It’s just the dream.” Loveday’s voice cut through her panic and she was quiet.
Claude had moved to the far corner of the tent, and Rocky barked in sympathy with her. “Shush, shush,” she told him and held out her hand. He came enthusiastically and licked her palm and fingers. She pulled him onto her lap and nuzzled his neck.
Loveday was still rubbing her back, her hand warm and welcome.
“Sorry,” Ellery croaked.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Ellery scrubbed her eyes roughly and lay back down. Loveday rested beside her, and Rocky stretched along the length of her.
Claude wasn’t convinced and lay down where he was with his paws tucked under him.
“How many miles do you think you can do tomorrow?” Ellery asked.
“I don’t know. How many do we need to do?”
Ellery didn’t know. The dreams were infuriating in their vagueness. Why couldn’t whoever it was just say, Head here to this point? Why was it all so fucking convoluted?
“I suppose we can just pick up the pace. We still need to stop and restock our supplies.”
Ellery felt Loveday curl into her. She rubbed her arm down Ellery’s shoulder and let it rest on her chest, over her heart. It helped.
“We’ll get there,” Loveday said. “We’ll find her. Dani said we were on the right track, so let’s pick up the pace like you said. It’s all we can do.”
“Is it enough, though? Supposedly the fate of humanity is on our shoulders. What if our best isn’t enough?”
“It has to be because there’s nothing else, Ellery.”
And that was the crux of it. She and Loveday were Dani’s only hope of survival. It was ironic, really. Two loners with more baggage than Heathrow Airport were responsible for the survival of the human race. You couldn’t write this stuff. Well, maybe Loveday could.
When Ellery next woke up, Loveday was sprawled across her. Loveday’s hair was in her nose and her mouth and mostly covered her eyes. She brushed it away and slid out from under her. Loveday rolled onto her side with a grunt. Ellery smiled.
Outside the day was bright and cold. She walked a little way into the trees with Rocky so he could do his business. Claude preferred privacy and would come back in his own time.
Ellery’s eyes felt grainy and itchy and she rubbed them, then yawned, satisfied when her jaw cracked. She supposed she should put the coffee on to settle Loveday’s grumps when she woke up.
She sorted through their supplies. Through the packets of pasta, cat food, soup. It wouldn’t last them more than a couple of days. Fortunately, following the motorways meant lots of opportunities to restock, but she’d rather not do it too much. Case in point was the man with the knife. It was unlikely they’d run into many more people like him—she hoped—but Ellery was aware they were two women on their own and needed to be careful.
Plus, what had Dani said last night? He’s going to kill me. That meant she was either travelling to or in a place with a man and he was dangerous. Great.
“Why the big sigh?” Loveday brushed her hand over Ellery’s shoulders as she walked past, and it felt nicer than was probably safe. After last night, had Ellery opened the door for even more casual touching? She hoped not because it was going to drive her mad.
She smiled at Loveday who was pouring out coffee. “Just thinking about the dream and what we need to restock and how much quicker we need to walk.”
“Bloody hell, Ellery, one thing at a time. And preferably not at all until I’ve had my coffee.”
“You asked.”
“Be shush,” said Loveday as she sipped from her cup and winked at Ellery over the rim.
Ellery’s heart did an annoying little patter before she managed to squash it. She needed to get a grip.
They sat in silence, drank their coffee, and thought their own thoughts. Rocky sniffed around them, probably hoping for a scrap of something. Claude swanned off back to the tent. He liked to sleep pretty much all day.
Ellery leaned back on her elbows and turned her face to the weak sun. Still, weak sun was better than no sun.
“How did you learn to break into cars?” Loveday’s question broke through her daydreaming.
“One of the times I was in foster care. There was a boy who took a shine to me.”
“Oh, really?”
Ellery laughed and opened one eye to see Loveday grinning at her and wiggling her eyebrows like a dork. “Not like that. He was about five years older. He used to take me out with him and get me to help him nick out of cars. I was good at it.”
“Are you pulling my leg?” Loveday asked.
“No. Why? Don’t I look like a master criminal?”
Loveday snorted and Ellery laughed and sat up. “You look like a vet.”
Ellery was nonplussed. “What does that even mean?”
Loveday shrugged. “Not a car thief.”
“I wasn’t a car thief. I stole stuff out of them. Usually sunglasses. CDs. Sat navs. I feel horrible about it now.”
“How old were you?”
“About eleven,” Ellery said. She stood and stretched. “And only old cars with manual locks you can pop with a hanger.”
“So a pretty crap thief, then,” Loveday teased.
“I didn’t devote much time to it. To be fair, I was back with my parents inside a month or so. If I’d had longer, who knows, I could have been Pablo Escobar.”
“He was a drug smuggler.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t think of any famous car thieves. Come on, we should get going.”
Loveday grun
ted and stood up. Ellery started taking down the tent.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Since the incident with the woman, people were wary of Rosemary. Chloe-Claire had told her several people left the hangar overnight. It didn’t matter. Let the non-believers look out for themselves. She didn’t need them here, and more were still coming in all the time. God’s army was growing every day.
She continued to hold daily services and there hadn’t been a peep out of anyone. The room was so full, people were crowding in at the back to listen. They would have to expand the area soon. She was thinking about offering an additional service in the evening as well. The Ark 2 was completed, so other than daily inspections she had more free time. She wanted to get a school set up as well. Rosemary noticed a number of children arriving, and they needed an education. The correct education. Not the nonsense they were taught before, but a religious education. Everything they needed to know was written in the Bible.
“Miss Decker.” Chloe-Claire again. “Sorry, but we have a small problem.”
Rosemary sighed. Did she have to handle everything herself. “What is it?”
“There are some people who want to come in.”
“And?”
“Well, they aren’t Christians.”
“What are they?”
“They said Sikh. One of their party is ill. They want to rest here for a couple of days until he’s better. They knew about you from the internet. They don’t want to stay.”
Rosemary smiled but there was nothing friendly about it. When she was younger she’d tried to make her smile into something friendly. Had practiced in the mirror until her jaw ached. It didn’t work. She still unnerved people. She learned to stop caring.
“Exodus 34:14. For you shall worship no other God, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous is a jealous God,” Rosemary said.
“Right, then. So that’s a no?” Chloe-Claire asked.
Rosemary sighed. “That’s a no.”
