by Rue Volley
“Holy crap.”
“What?”
“No one—and I mean no one knows his name. He literally wouldn’t tell anyone.”
I rubbed one of my eyes, “Well, that’s silly.”
“No,” she jumped off the bed and faced me, forcing me to look at her, “Don’t you get it?”
“Get what?” I asked.
“He likes you.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Nadia, he was just with a new girl in class, you saw her!”
She grabbed the sage and headed toward the door. I ran around in front of her. “Where are you going?”
“To find her and sage her right out of here.”
I laughed, “It’s not how that works and you know it.”
She smirked. “But I got you to smile, right?” she asked.
I leaned in and hugged her while the sage burned off to the side. I coughed and waved my hand. I stepped back and wiped a tear. “Are we better, now?” she asked with caution.
“No—but yes. I don’t know.”
She bit her lip, “Listen, I have a plan.”
I tilted my head and she set the sage off to the side on the mantle. It continued to burn, filling the room with a scent that reminded me of him.
“Sit down, and just hear me out, okay?”
We took a seat in front of the window and Nadia drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. “I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but Mabon is coming.”
I narrowed my eyes and turned to face her. “The Equinox?”
She bit her lip, “Yes, and we have a dance to celebrate it.”
“Oh, no.” I started to rise up.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. “Listen—I’m serious. Trust me when I say that him telling you his name was a big deal, like really big—maybe the biggest ever.”
I tugged at the bottom of the loose-fitting, light gray sweatshirt, allowing it to hang off my shoulder. “I don’t see why.”
Her eyes brightened, “All last year we tried to find out what his name was. I tried, heck, every student here tried. We had bets going on who could find out, or at least get him to say it, but no one—and I mean no one, was able to get him to say any more than just ‘G’, so that’s what he’s been, just G Gianni. But you meet him and within six days he tells you what people would pay to know.”
I turned and looked out the window. It was twilight and a strange hue was settling over the forest, along with a rolling fog, that could rival any horror movie.
“Now, do you like him?” she added.
I traced a heart on the window without thinking about it.
“Yes.” I said, knowing it would get her to tell me her plan.
Not that it mattered.
“Okay, well this is what you have to do.”
“What?” I asked.
She cocked a brow, “Ignore him.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Like he cares.”
She raised her hands. “No—see, I think he does. I really do.”
“So, your plan is for me to ignore the boy who just showed up in class with a new girlfriend, today?”
She grinned, “Yep!”
“That just sounds crazy—”
She reached in and took my hand. “Rook, what he’ll do is be with girl after girl, but no matter who he’s with, or how many times you see him, I want you to act happy and ignore him like he doesn’t matter at all. I honestly think it will drive him insane. And then he’ll ask you to Mabon.”
“And who says I want to go to Mabon with him?”
She cocked her head and wiped a tear from my cheek.
Chapter Twenty-Three
One week turned into two, then three.
At first it was hard. Nadia was right, though, he just kept dating a different girl every other day. Moving from one to the next, parading them around in front of me like it would make me break, but with each passing day, I felt stronger. I noticed how he watched me closer and closer, confused as to why I wouldn’t talk to him, look at him or do anything concerning him.
He sat with them in class, held their hand in the hallways, took them to lunch, and even hung out with them in the library.
Each time I encountered him, I’d just place my phone to my ear and laugh, or text and smile. Sometimes I was talking to my Mom, but the rest—well, I wasn’t talking to anyone at all.
Over those few weeks something changed inside of me, too. I felt stronger.
But one thing remained the same.
How I felt about him.
Sometimes it hurt, sometimes it made me angry—but mostly it made me determined to win. If this didn’t work then I’d be better off in the long run. I’d learned to not let him bother me, and how to be my own person. I also soaked up as much knowledge as I could in my classes, and that gave me a better sense of self-worth. Of purpose.
So, in some strange way I was grateful that he had done what he had, to me.
Then the day came—well, the day before the day.
Tomorrow would be Mabon. The Festival of the Equinox, when we celebrate the changing of the season. It was ironic that it was also how I felt inside.
I didn’t know if Nadia was an evil genius, or if it was just dumb luck. Either way, the time had come, and I’d know soon enough if she was right, because every boy and girl needed to ask someone before midnight for tomorrows dance.
I towel dried my hair and then removed it to reveal the new color. Nadia gasped.
“Oh, Rook!”
I smiled at my pastel pink hair. I slid my glasses on to get a better look.
“It’s so pretty.” I cooed while turning my head from side to side. “Yeah, I love it.”
She hugged me from behind. “You are gorgeous.”
I grabbed her hands, and squeezed them. “So are you.”
“And listen,” she rested her chin on my shoulder. “He’s going to ask you. I guarantee it.”
I turned around, “I’m good either way.”
Nadia’s suspicious nature creased her forehead, “Well, that wasn’t the plan.”
“What?” I rubbed the bottom of my hair with a towel, trying to absorb the rest of the excess water,
“For you to hate him.” She stated.
I laughed, “I’ve eased into the fact that I love to hate him, Nadia.”
She tilted her head with confusion.
I shrugged a shoulder, “I want him to ask me so I can say no.”
“I’m speechless, and do you know how hard it is for me to be like that?”
I tossed the towel and shook out my hair. It fell in long layers on either side of my face, and brushed the base of my back. I had let it grow, but Gage couldn’t tell because I had it up each and every day. My plan was to leave it down, do my makeup, put on some lipstick, and go to class just to torture him. I wanted him to see how good I look after him, since the before just wasn’t enough.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I leaned in on the sink, touching up my bright red lipstick, then took a step back, taking in my reflection. I was practically a stranger, but that was his fault, not mine.
I decided to trade the mary janes for borrowed platform Converse.
One black, one red, to match my outfit. Nadia insisted. I didn’t argue.
Everything she had suggested worked like a charm. He seemed primed and ready for a letdown that I’d be more than happy to give.
I bundled my hair up a couple of times, and twisted it in the mirror, but finally let it go. Leaving it down was the right plan, and I was sticking to it.
I wanted for Gage to take the bait. And if he didn’t? No regrets, right?
But I wasn’t going to do this after today. He wasn’t going to string me along anymore.
&
nbsp; Those days had come and gone.
Whatever power he thought he had over me had faded, like the sun on the horizon.
I shoved the lipstick in my backpack, and swung it over my shoulder. Well, it’s Nadia’s backpack, I borrowed it, too. I usually wear this brown satchel that weighs me down because I can keep my journals with me.
The backpack wasn’t as big, but a lot cooler. Totally unlike me. The whole plan today is to land one devastating blow then drop the mic and walk off the stage. I’ll do it as soon as I see a chip in his armor. Then maybe—just maybe—he’ll spend the rest of his days thinking about the girl who got away.
Like I said—I love to hate him.
The door opened and loud chatter followed. The weeks had mellowed everyone’s initial reactions to me as we all settled into our version of normal.
I was no longer the new shiny toy, and they weren’t the scary strangers.
But it also helped that my main focus shifted back to school and on making Gage believe that I didn’t care what he did anytime, anywhere, and with anyone.
And there had been a never-ending crazy train of girls, beginning with the tall strawberry blonde, to some gothic Lolita, to a redhead that reminded me of Scarlet Johansson. I won’t lie I worried with that one because she was pretty—not because he could stay with her, no—because it would ruin my diabolical plan to see him shed a tear for me. Just one! That’s all I wanted. I think that would be fair after all the nights I cried myself to sleep.
I placed my hands on the sink and gave it a firm tap. “Get out there.” I whispered.
I stood up straight, adjusted my pleated skirt, and loosened my tie, opening my top button. I offered a supportive nod, and then walked out the door, as Nadia stepped up beside me, and Cole took the opposite side. We walked down the hallway as kids stopped and stared at me. I enjoyed their reactions, girls and boys alike.
I stopped at the classroom door, and slid my glasses off as Nadia handed me my contacts. I never use them because I love my glasses, but this was war, and in war sacrifices must be made.
I got one in, then the other. I blinked a few times allowing them to adjust.
“Maybe I should ask you out.” She muttered.
“Nadia.” I retorted with a laugh.
“Sorry, but wow, Rook. Just wow. Your eyes are so pretty!”
Cole was gawking at me and Nadia snapped her fingers in front of his face.
“Yeah—what she said.”
“Thanks, guys,” I took a deep breath, and shook my shoulders out, “Okay, I’m going in on my own.”
Nadia nodded like we were in a playoff huddle. Cole interjected, “I think when you get in there you should drop a pencil and then bend over to get it.”
I pointed at him, “No, but what I will do is walk through, glance at him, over my shoulder, and then sit down.” I acted it out.
“Yeah, glancing is good.” Cole grinned. “But I still think the pencil is aces.”
Nadia leaned to the side, and cocked her hip, “Cole—do you mind? You have a little drool on your lip.”
He raised his hands. “I’m just saying. The plan is to get him to ask her to the dance.”
Nadia rolled her eyes, “And he will, without her bending over and chasing a pencil. I mean, is that some type of fantasy you have going on, or what?”
He shrugged his shoulders. She swatted at him while he laughed. “I’m kidding—I’m kidding!”
I approached the door, and flexed my fingers, “Okay—I’m doing this.” I grabbed the handle and stepped inside, without looking at anyone at first, but once I began to walk, I felt that old weakness fading away, and this new bolder, stronger Rook, taking charge. Then I spotted him staring at me, but it was more than that—he wasn’t just looking, he was transfixed.
I took my seat as a boy rushed to pull my chair out for me. I focused on sitting down without doing something clumsy or stupid, and accomplished it without any trouble.
So far, so good.
Nadia and Cole entered the room and she winked at me while Cole offered a thumbs up. I nervously waved hoping Gage wouldn’t see them. They took a seat across the room from me, leaving my table wide open. I noticed that Gage was sitting alone today, which was unlike him.
Professor Atlas entered the room. He was wearing his usual—a black suit, black shirt, white tie. It was his trademark look. He also has black hair and black eyes. He’s a demon, and when I say demon, I mean it, I’m not just being sarcastic. He’s our resurrection coach, and I guess with good reason. He’s someone who had died and died again, but he keeps spawning. If I naturally did that, I’d be one grumpy puppy, but not him. I don’t know, maybe he enjoys it.
Gage raised his hand, and Professor Atlas, first name Winston, hunched his shoulders, “Yes?”
“I don’t have a partner today and neither does, Rook. Can I join her table?”
My heart nearly stopped in my chest. I looked back at Nadia who gave me a wink and a nod.
“What happened, did you run out of girls?” he asked.
A few students laughed, I didn’t. It actually made me uncomfortable, but not for long. Again—I don’t care.
“I don’t want either one of us to be at a disadvantage.”
The Professor snorted. “Fine—take your new seat.”
I raised my hand as Gage started to make his way over.
“Yes.”
“No one asked me.” I leaned on the table and drummed my nails.
Gage stopped dead in his tracks.
“Asked you what Miss Gianni?”
I scowled. “It’s Dagger, not Gianni—it would never be Gianni, today, yesterday, or ever.”
Professor Atlas grabbed his school roster and ran a blackened nail down the paper. “It seems I was in error Miss Dagger, but overruled. Resurrection is done by two, not one—One is for the advanced course, of which you are not in, yet.”
My lips formed a straight line. Gage stepped up next to the table. I kicked the chair so it would be further away from me. He smiled. I didn’t. Gage took a seat, and scooted in, while I faced forward, refusing to look at him.
Professor Atlas made his way around to each pair of students with a small black box in his hands. I didn’t know what we’d be resurrecting today, but I was getting pretty good at it, so Gage wouldn’t be messing up my grade. He slid the box top open and removed a small blue bird, and set it on the tray before us.
I was visibly shaken, to the point that I considered telling our professor that I was feeling sick, and needed to leave. Flashbacks of the small bird in my hands when I was younger filled my mind, and I covered my face for a split second, trying to get it under control. I felt a hand to my back, and shifted in my chair to break the connection.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I turned to face him, and then leaned into his ear. “Like you care.”
He rubbed the side of his neck. The plan was to make him suffer.
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“I do, Rook.”
“Shut up, Gage.”
I leaned in and placed my hand under the bird, lifting it up and trying to focus on it.
I closed my eyes and nothing happened. I couldn’t feel a thing, but him sitting close. It was infuriating because after all this time, he still had this weird effect on me.
“I love your hair.”
I opened my eyes, while still holding the bird in my hands.
“Oh, really? Why would I ever—in a million years, believe a single word you say, Gage Gianni?” I spoke too loudly. Everyone heard what I said, but his eyes shifted to my hand, and he tried to take the bird. I struggled to keep it. Then I noticed that it had turned to dust. It ran through my fingers like the sands of time, landing in a small pile on top of the desk.
I gasped. Then jumped up and r
an for the door.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I climbed the stairs higher than I ever had before until I reached a door, opened it. A refreshing breeze blew my hair back, and away from my face, drying the tears.
I stepped out onto the roof of Hemlock Academy, not really knowing how I made it here or caring why.
I just felt a desperate need to escape.
After weeks of feeling in control I had totally lost it, and turned that small creature to dust. I stared up at the gray clouds in the sky. It could be soaring up there right now, but no.
Gage Gianni ruins everything.
I was so angry with myself for allowing him to push me until my emotions raged out of control. It was a stark reminder of why I had decided that being with him would never work. Then reality set in.
I would never be able to love anyone the way I—I—hate him.
I hate him. I do. I hate everything about him from his stupid hair to his dumb lips—and his voice—it’s the worst! And that grin—you know the one, that curls the edge of his pouty lip. And his hands—they’re awful, all soft and pretty—just awful!
“Rook.”
I now stood at the edge of the building looking out across the Forest of Emma Green. I thought back to just a few weeks prior when things seemed so simple and new, but now that was gone forever and all that was left was pain and destruction.
I yelled out to him with venomous distain. “I know everything now. I understand. You think I don’t, but I do.”
I turned as the wind caught my hair and whipped it up around my face.
“Understand what?”
I laughed. “I get up every single day knowing you’re going to be with some new girl, holding her hand, and saying something to her that you should probably be saying to me, but you can’t because you’re scared, and it’s all because for you, it’s the opposite.”
He titled his head.
“I love to hate you, and you hate to love me.” I added.
We stood in complete silence with the wind howling around us. A storm was coming. I could smell it in the air. Or maybe the storm had been here all along, from the moment I saw him cutting through the crowd in front of the school. Then one strong gust knocked me off balance and I fell over the edge of the building.
