by Lucy Tempest
That actually made convoluted sense.
The Spring Queen hadn’t come to my birth celebration intending to curse us, but to give my father one last chance to re-negotiate their broken marriage deal in return for peace. Her new deal had been for me and Leander to marry fairies. It had been only when my mother had threatened her, and my father had done nothing about it, that she’d cast her curses.
But it seemed those curses had been forcing us into doing exactly what she’d wanted all along. Leander was marrying a girl with royal fairy blood. While in my case, it made a fairy kind of sense that, through all my failures and ordeals, she’d been steering me to a specific fairy royal. Her heir. The only one she’d predictably consider the noblest of men.
So why wasn’t I relieved about the possibility? Was I just tired of being let down? Because it was better to not have hope than to have it dashed? Or because I wanted the one specific half-fairy I could never have?
I looked down at my missing arm, and knew I had no choice. I had to pursue this final yet most logical lead, relief or even acceptance not required.
Chapter Thirty-One
“This is perfect, Fairuza! We will find your savior at last.” Robin sounded relieved enough for both of us, before urgency gripped him again as he turned to King Yulian. “We need the Wild Hunt’s exact location, Your Majesty. All the King of Summer told us was that the Wild Hunt are now in Spring, and that Marian was alive and well.”
Yulian scratched his chin thoughtfully. “An exact location is something I’d have to investigate.”
“We don’t have time for that!” Robin exclaimed.
The king gave him a commiserating nod. This was a man who’d had a timed curse hanging over his head before. “Then Keenan is your best bet. He should know where they are, or be able to find them in time.”
Ella shook her bright head. “Keenan is unavailable at the moment. I sort of sent him on an errand.”
Yulian frowned. “The princess from that Folkshore kingdom that resembles our court?”
Ella nodded, and both of their shoulders slumped in regret.
So Keenan’s princess was human. Just like Bonnie’s prince. Our world was becoming intertwined with Faerie more every day, it seemed. Something I would have been appalled at only months ago. Now, if I had a choice, I knew which fairy I’d meld my life with. But I had no choice.
King Yulian addressed Robin, as our leader it seemed. “The only relevant information I have is that the Wild Hunt make use of our Crystal Caves around now. Those act as a discreet shortcut between our court, Spring’s, and the Folkshore.”
“Caves?” Will yelped. “We’ve had enough of those, and whatever dwells in them, to last a lifetime.”
Yulian shrugged. “Nothing lurks in the Crystal Caves—that I know of. We can take you there if you’d like.”
Robin turned to me, gaze urgent. “What do you say?”
It was strange having him defer to me this way. Like he valued my opinion, despite being the least experienced in this group, and since this had been about saving Marian, long before it was about me.
But we were bound in this quest one way or another, and regardless of what happened to the rest of me, I wanted to spend whatever time I had left with him.
I shot him my best attempt at a smile. “I say, what else have we got to lose? Besides, I’m curious what a crystal cave looks like.”
Robin cracked a wonderful grin that soothed my nerves and made me almost forget my disappearing body parts.
“We’ll take you to the Crystal Caves then,” Simeon said. “You’ll hopefully find the answers to all you seek on the other side.”
Agnë wrung her hand, pleading gaze on me. “The healer said Jon’s injury would have killed a weaker being. He’s not ready to move yet.”
“But time is of the essence,” King Yulian warned. “The Wild Hunt maraud the Folkshore at this time of year, so if you don’t hurry, you might miss them.”
“Leave me,” Jon yelled from the room beyond. “Just go get Marian and Fairuza’s prince.”
Simeon set his hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Do you have to accompany them? If you stay, you could finally meet Sorcha, and watch over your friend’s healing.” Before she could say anything, he added, reproachfully, “I haven’t seen you in so long—and you missed my wedding.”
Agnë’s eyes filled with terrible conflict. She cared for my fate more than I could have imagined. But this was her home, and she’d been away from it for so long, because of me. And she cared for Jon, who did need someone to stay with him at his weakest, and in an unfamiliar place.
I would have loved to hug her. I could only attempt a smile. “You stay here and take care of Jon. You must miss this place. I’ll be fine.”
Agnë sobbed and rushed to wrap her arms around the space I occupied in the approximation of a hug. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to be there when it all goes right.”
I didn’t have it in me to tell her I couldn’t see anything going right. Even if I survived. She was the most optimistic person I’d ever met, and people like that, childlike in their trust of the world, took disappointments harder than those of us who expected them.
“Meira should be the one stuck with me in every part of this trip. This is all her fault, after all.” My fake levity clearly didn’t work, evidenced by Meira’s strangulated gasp. I gave her an apologetic grimace, before turning to the king. “Now, where exactly are those Crystal Caves?”
Yulian led us out at once, taking us through his castle of crystal—or was it ice? The beauty of all the reflective surfaces, and the kaleidoscope of colors that refracted off every facet was hypnotic.
From the outside, the castle was a cloud-scraping, crystalline structure, with turnip-shaped domes, and soaring spires that gleamed in the moonlight. It was such a feat of architecture and magic, it even managed to take my mind off my despair.
Robin seemed as taken with the place. “And I’d thought the Summer Palace was the most wondrous place I’d ever see. Now comes this castle made entirely of crystal. Or is it ice?” Just what I’d been wondering. He sighed. “I heard so many stories about this place, but none could describe its reality. No wonder many in Arbore believe Faerie is where we go when we die, that this land is our Underworld.”
“But now I know better.”
I regretted my bitter quip the moment it was out. Robin seemed stricken, and we followed King Yulian to a carriage in charged silence.
After he directed the driver to take us to our destination, and we were pulling away, Ella yelled after us, “When you finally meet the Spring Queen, bite her head off! Literally, if you can!”
I couldn’t help a huff of mirth. Yet another rival, who’d deprived me of a chance at survival, that I would have liked to know better.
Out of the carriage’s rear window, I could see our horses galloping after us. I felt bad for dragging Amabel through this treacherous quest, but hopefully once in Spring, she’d have vast green fields to joyously run through.
We soon passed through the city of Midnight, the Winter Court’s capital, and alongside a green river that painfully reminded me of the one in the Underworld.
Attempting to distract myself, and because I was truly curious, I asked Robin, “The stories you heard about Faerie, were they from your mother?”
Robin massaged his neck, as if it hurt, a frown settling between his spectacular eyebrows. “Some of them. I thought she was making things up to entertain me. Turns out she was describing the places she missed. Then at some point she got tired of missing, and decided to go back.”
“Do you know where she went?”
He shook his head. “She just left. I always wondered if she ever missed my father and me the same way she missed this place. Or if this was something she did frequently in her long life. Settle down with a human for a few years, start a family, and then leave when it got boring.”
“Could be. I guess it doesn’t matter what you are, or where you’re from. Yo
u could still end up dissatisfied with your life.” I watched the ship on the green river sail sluggishly alongside us, wondering about the lives of the fairies aboard. “I always took that as a given, from my parents’ example, and all the people at court. None of them are happy, or even content. So, neither happiness nor contentment was ever a requirement in my future. It was all about surviving, and performing my role.”
“You deserve better than that,” he said solemnly. “You deserve happiness and laughter and excitement and fulfillment.”
I gulped down a searing lump of tears. “So do you.”
We fell silent for a while afterwards.
Will and Meira had long dozed off, her head on his shoulder, and his cheek pressed against the window, breath casting vapor on the glass. Robin remained awake, keeping me company. Soon we started talking again, about anything that came to mind, including my latest theories about the Spring Queen’s intentions, like we weren’t on a mission with our very lives at stake.
Like there was no one else in the world but us.
Though I was running out of time, it still felt it was all too soon that we reached our destination, at the base of the snowcapped mountain range that stretched as far as the eye could see.
We disembarked below an opening that emitted a soft, bluish glow, about a hundred feet up the side of the mountain.
“Once you enter, keep going right to reach the Spring Court,” the driver said.
Thanking him, we mounted our steeds, and made our way up.
Focusing on the trotting staccato of Amabel’s hooves, and hoping nothing ravenous would emerge to attack us, I followed Robin into the Crystal Caves.
Chapter Thirty-Two
We kept going right through what felt like another realm.
It probably was. The complex tapestry of giant crystal stalks covering the walls and ceiling seemed totally removed from everything I’d seen in Faerie.
I remained at the back of our quartet, my eyes practically stroking the luminescent surfaces and structures. At one point, I started dragging my remaining hand through the glowing polygonal tips, and it elicited a crystalline hum, an energy that resonated within me. It calmed me, focused my thoughts.
It was why when the tunnel diverged and my companions kept going right, I floated off Amabel’s back and took the path to the left.
I heard them calling my name, but I kept going. The path widened farther in, with the walls emitting a purple gradient.
I took another turn where the hum got louder, and found myself in a cavern with a soaring ceiling, where crystal stalactites hung like chandeliers that streaked inside with blue light, like they were all encasing lightning.
I kept going until I reached a wall that looked like a chiseled mirror. I stopped to gaze at my reflection. It had faded a little more. And here I was, wasting time, instead of rushing to my salvation.
Robin’s reflection appeared in the crystalline surface through mine, real, vivid, and so, so—beloved.
Then he was so close I could almost feel his warm breath on my neck, when I felt nothing anymore.
“Why did you wander off like that?”
I couldn’t tell him I no longer wanted to leave this place. No longer believed salvation mattered when it would plunge me into a life I could no longer bear. A life without him.
Instead, I locked eyes with him in the reflection, and tried to smile. “It’s not every day I see something like this.”
“I lost track of the others following you.” Amazingly, he wasn’t angry, only agitated, for me. “We must find them and get out of here, fast.”
I floated after him as he strode back where he came from. “We’ll probably be able to follow the noise of their inevitable argument.”
That surprised an amused huff from him. “I guess you’re right. Just don’t wander off again. You gave me another terrible scare.”
“Why? It’s not like anything can happen to me.”
“Something can. I thought that you would disappear again, for good this time. I don’t know what I’d do if you did.”
“You’d be free of another burden.”
“Burden!”
“You didn’t mean to take me on when you began this quest.”
“I don’t care how anything began! You know I don’t think of you that way, right?”
I looked sideways at him as he slowed down, found him bathed in the purple light, giving him an ethereal glow, and making his freckles stand out further. I sighed. “Then how do you think of me?”
His eyes darted away, before returning to fix mine in such intense sincerity. “I’d like to think that we are good friends by now. Don’t you?”
As selfish and pointless as it was, I’d wanted to hear something more than that, now more than ever.
Shrugging to hide my foolish, crushing disappointment, I said, “Perhaps, but I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had any friends. No one ever seemed to like me.”
His jaw tightened. “You might be a bit hard to get to know, but anyone who missed out on the chance to get to know you is a fool.”
Everything that was left of me fluttered at his earnest praise. It was my turn to escape his gaze. “Many did attempt to ingratiate themselves to me, but it was never genuine. They didn’t want my company, but the benefits it could provide.”
“Then those you met at court were terrible opportunists. The disparity in your status shouldn’t have mattered. Your brother and I had no problem becoming true friends, neither did he and Lord Gestum.”
“How come I don’t remember you being Leander’s friend?”
Robin rolled his eyes. “Your mother heard that my mother practiced magic, and barred my family from court. But when it was time for Leander to be fostered by a knight, he was sent to my father. Leander believes your father left on some expedition to avoid her demands to get him back.”
Disbelief was like a bucket of ice water down my back. “So if my mother wasn’t so prejudiced, we could have met years ago?”
He nodded. “But I doubt you would have given me the time of day.”
I doubted that. I knew I would have ended up feeling the same about him anyway, even knowing it was impossible still.
Out loud, I said, “Don’t be so sure, you are quite interesting. We could’ve had a few good talks about music.”
He grinned, the blue light from a cluster of crystals making his white teeth glow. “We never did have a proper talk about that. Agnë said she gave you the gift of Song, but gifts are nothing if not practiced and perfected. From the little I heard, you sing like a songbird. Were you also instructed in playing any instruments?”
“I’ll have you know I play the piano quite beautifully, as well as the harp. How about you?”
Robin swept his bow around, and pretended to glide it over an invisible violin. “Ten years of string instruments. But my favorite was the violin. Very expressive for such a small instrument.”
I tried imagining him, younger and struggling to hold a violin under his chin. “I see you traded one bow for another. I wonder which came first, the archer’s bow, or the violinist’s?”
He snapped his bow back with a smirk. “Obviously, the first bow was the one you put in a child’s hair to keep it out of their face.”
I was reminded of the silly jokes he made during our first meeting, when he’d made me laugh out loud.
I found myself grinning at the memory. “I’m being serious here.”
He stared up in exaggerated pondering. “Then I submit the weapon came first. Music is a sign of prosperous civilizations, whereas hunting and warfare existed long before we built any.”
“I’d like to think music has always existed.”
Robin spoke towards the ceiling, raising his voice, “Song is probably as old as speech, with the first ever instrument being our voices.”
I mirrored his action, our voices ringing clearer in this area. “Perhaps song is what began speech.”
“Or we began with whistling.” He whistled a sw
eet, songbird tune, like he once had what felt like a lifetime ago, before we’d arrived in Faerie.
Aching nostalgia filled me as I did the same, whistling the tune of a ballad that had been on my mind, like some morbid background music to my tragic trials. It was never one I enjoyed. But now it felt painfully relevant to my situation, with the heroine flung into a similar fate to my own.
Recognizing it at once, he joined me. The wordless duet we created was so poignant, I stopped before I choked up.
I gestured with my remaining hand, needing a distraction. “The acoustics here are excellent, better than my favorite music room.”
“I can’t believe your music teacher had you singing Sweet William and Marguerite. Seems like a forbidden topic to teach a princess.”
“It’s not any different from most ballads that end terribly.”
“Oh, I was talking about the version that didn’t end terribly.”
By coincidence, I understood what he was referring to. Once, the fancy of writing my own music had become so strong, I’d studied compositions in library songbooks. I’d found another version of the ballad where instead of both dying at the end, they lived happily ever after.
Or maybe, from his perspective, my version wasn’t a sad ending. You never know, as one person’s tragedy was another’s comedy.
“Let me see if we’re talking about the same version.”
And I started singing:
“Marguerite in her tower was kept
For many a moon by her mother queen
In her prison she seldom slept
For her love’s return she’s always been
Waiting since war tore their love asunder
But Sweet William returned to wed another”
Robin continued for me, each note clear and reverberating:
“That night her spirit rose to visit him
To ask why romance her on a whim
