by J. L. Leslie
He leans back but keeps his arms around me. “Our parents?” he asks me. “Helene, once we do that, there’s no turning back. Fuck, that girl at the drug store has probably already told half of Chapelwood.”
I sniffle and pull some toilet paper off the roll to wipe my nose. “What do you mean? I won’t be able to hide it for long.”
He sighs. “Are we even ready to have a kid? You’re still in school, and you don’t work full-time. You just recently moved out of your daddy’s house for fuck’s sake. We’re not even married, Helene. Hell, we’re not even together!”
I push his arms off me and stand up. “What are you asking me to do?”
“We should take a few days to think things over before we make a decision. We have the weight of the world on our shoulders right now!”
My hands go to my stomach. “You would give up our baby?”
“How do I even know it’s mine?” he asks, and I slap him before I even realize I’ve done it.
“Get out!” I scream at him.
“I didn’t mean that,” he assures me. “I’m in shock, Helene! I haven’t seen you in weeks, and when I do see you, you’re going to buy a fucking pregnancy test!”
“Yeah, you’re in shock!” I say. “What about me? I have sex once, in my whole life, and I get knocked up! Then the man I had sex with, who was supposed to be in love with me, sleeps with every willing woman in Chapelwood!”
“I had to stay away from you!” he yells at me, rising to his feet and throwing his hands in the air. “Your fucking daddy was going to destroy my family! Destroy my life!”
I push him toward the door and shove him into the living room. I don’t stop when we get there, continuing to shove him until he concedes and opens the front door, stepping outside.
“I guess I’m the one who succeeded in that.”
I shut the door without waiting for him to respond. I hear his car leave a few minutes later and I’m relieved. I didn’t think there would ever be a day when I would be glad to see Tauren go.
I’m not happy about being pregnant out of wedlock, but the thought of having an abortion or giving up my child goes against everything I believe in. If I have to raise a baby on my own, I will do it. I won’t pretend that this child is a mistake. Only a surprise.
Chapter Twelve
Tauren
I pull my car into the pit and tug my helmet off, placing it in the passenger seat before climbing out the driver’s side window. I unzip my racing suit and shrug out of the sleeves, shoving it down around my waist. It’s opening night for racing season and Down ‘n’ Dirty is fucking packed. It feels good to be back on the track. Takes my mind off the fact that Helene is pregnant with my damn kid.
“That was a good heat,” Kipton says. “Probably one of your best times.”
Kaler tosses me a bottle of water and I twist the cap off. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I guess that housewarming party really got you warmed up,” Kipton smirks. “You’re welcome by the way.”
I roll my eyes, knowing he has no idea what I went through before getting here tonight. I am going to be a fucking daddy, and regardless of how long she might wait to make a decision about what to do, the outcome will be the same. She’s going to have the baby. My baby.
I’m so fucking pissed that I got us into this mess that I put all that rage into the pre-qualifying heat. I came in with the top time, so I’ll be in first position when the final race begins. Puts me in a damn good spot to win tonight.
“Are you trying to tell me Helene forgave you for all the,” Kaler clears his throat, “Fun you’ve been having since the two of you split?” he teases, and I roll my eyes.
“It’s not like we were ever officially together,” I remind him.
“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit, little brother. You popped her cherry and then dumped her,” Kaler retorts. “After her daddy kicked your ass.”
Yeah, I told Kaler and Kipton both what happened that night. For the most part anyway. I left out Pastor Jacobs’ threats and told them I decided Helene wasn’t worth the trouble, especially after I’d gotten what I wanted from her. Her daddy would never let her go, and she would never stand up to him.
“Good thing you didn’t tell anyone else about that,” Kipton laughs. “Especially your little bathroom waitress. God knows she loves to run her mouth.”
“She loves to use it too,” I wink.
“I thought we were talking about Helene,” Kaler says, steering us back to the subject of my ex.
“She’s not going to forgive you easily, but she will if you talk to her. That’s why I gave you that opportunity today,” Kipton explains.
“I didn’t go over there,” I lie to them both.
“What the hell, Tauren?” Kipton gripes. “You need to start owning your shit.”
I need to own my shit. Wow. That’s his advice right now when I’ve been told I knocked up the preacher’s daughter.
“Speaking of owning my shit. I have a race to worry about. Who was in the Camaro?” I ask, changing the subject, and Kaler shrugs.
“Pretty sure it was your favorite deputy,” Kipton tells me.
“No fucking way,” I fume. “He’s racing now? When the hell did that happen?”
“Anyone can race, man. As long as he has a car, and apparently he has one hell of a car.”
“Yeah, what are the fucking odds of that happening.”
Deputy Moulder has pretty much left me alone since I cut ties with Helene. I’m sure he was only doing what he was ordered to do, but I still can’t stand the motherfucker. Regardless of what he was ordered to do, he should have had some morals. I thought police officers had to take an oath or some shit.
I sit on the hood of my car, finishing off the bottle of water, and shoot the shit with my two brothers until it’s time for me to race. They don’t give me any more shit about Helene, surprisingly, and I don’t tell them they’re going to be uncles.
We do talk about my new competition and how I need to best him on the track before I climb back into my car and get into race mode. My daddy bought me my first sprint car when I was fourteen. Someone brought it into his shop and then couldn’t pay to repair it. They worked out a deal, and we ended up with the car.
Kaler was too interested in Brynn at the time to worry about a racing hobby, and Kipton had already taken up rodeo. He didn’t want another hobby to occupy his time when he already had one that consumed him.
I already loved fast cars and was ready to move on from bicycles, so it felt natural for me to get behind the wheel. I won my first race on this very track, and I’ve loved every second of it ever since.
“Time to race,” I tell my brothers.
“Kick the deputy’s ass,” Kipton says.
“And that fucker, Alex, too,” Kaler puts in, clearly still annoyed about the whole Alex and Jenna bit.
“Will do.”
The deafening sound of engines rumble in my ears as the qualifying cars drive onto the track. We make a few laps so that we can get lined up, me getting into the first position due to me having the top qualifying time. Deputy Moulder is right behind me in my rearview with Alex’s blue and silver Hurst on the opposite side.
All the cars stay close together as we circle the track, anxious to try to get a jump on the leader ‒ me. I glance at my dash, checking my gauges, and everything is good to go. The yellow light is cleared, and I know when we take this last corner, we’ll be all out, primed and ready for the green light.
Green.
Dust rises in the air as fifteen racers punch it. I don’t have to hear them to know the crowd is cheering. Twenty laps and we’ve already completed four.
I study my competitors while I drive, noticing how the deputy likes to go to the inside on the curves and how Alex loves to give me a little rub on the straightaway. That’s his style.
We’re down to three laps. We’ve been under caution six times already. What started out as fifteen racers is now down to nine. With a track this size, wrecks are bound to h
appen.
White flag.
One more lap to go and I’m barely holding my fucking lead. Alex has beaten my bumper to shit, and if the deputy takes me on this turn then I’ll be coming in second. I hate second. I would rather come in eighth or twelfth. Any number other than second.
I take the turn, staying close to the outside and out of nowhere, the deputy slips in the inside, slamming against my driver’s side. I grip the steering wheel and manage to keep control of my car. The deputy skids a little, and that falter is all I need to take the checkered flag.
My heart pounds in my chest as adrenaline rushes through my veins. Winner, or not though, I’m pissed. Once I reach the winner’s circle, I fling my helmet out of my window and climb from my car. The deputy has come to a stop, and I see him getting out.
“What the fuck was that?” I demand, pushing my way through the crowd that’s starting to form and give him a hard shove into his car.
He’s not on duty now, so we’re on an equal playing field. Racer to racer. I go to shove him again, but Kaler and Kipton intervene.
“It’s just a race, Tauren! He was doing what anyone would’ve done!” Kipton says.
“Fuck you and fuck that asshole!” I yell and point at Deputy Moulder. “Fuck you!”
I know my brothers are right, but it doesn’t change the fact that the asshole tried to put me into the wall, not to mention the bullshit he pulled on me before. After everything that happened earlier today, I would love to put my fist in his face!
“Cool it,” Kaler warns. “You don’t need this.”
He’s right; I don’t need this. I let the crowd hoist me on top of their arms and take a beer that someone’s offering, drinking it down.
Right now, I only need to forget.
Helene
I follow behind Abby, the waitress training me, and she lets me take the drink orders for this table. After Tauren left earlier, I called around to see who might be hiring, and Happy’s was the only place looking for a waitress. I figure between the tutoring I do and the hours I can get here, I can save up enough money to have a nice nest egg by the time the baby comes.
Abby helps me fix the drinks, and I carry them to the table, taking their food order after I put their drinks out. When I walk back to give Happy the order, I tug on the black shorts, slightly uncomfortable with their length, and Abby laughs.
“Honey, they won’t get any longer no matter how many times you tug on them. When it gets cool outside, you can wear leggings or tights underneath them.”
“The shirt’s pretty tight too,” I complain.
“Makes for good tips,” she winks.
She might be right, but I doubt I’ll be getting good tips in this getup when my belly is protruding from beneath the shirt, and I can’t button these shorts.
“Okay, so the race is officially over, and we should be getting a good crowd in,” she tells me. “I’ll let you try the next table solo. I think you’re ready.”
I nod and thank her, knowing that as long as I’m training, I don’t get to keep my tips. I hear the chime on the door, and my heart plummets.
Tauren walks in with a few other racers. He’s still in his racing suit, but it’s unzipped, and the arms are tied around his waist. His gray t-shirt is dirty and sweaty, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he’s wearing a lazy grin as he chats with the other patrons. He doesn’t seem like a man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“He’ll want his usual, which starts with a pitcher of whatever beer we have on tap, and they’ll probably go shoot pool. Keep the pitcher full. The racers always tip good.”
I do as she instructs, filling up a pitcher and getting a few of the chilled glasses from the cooler. I balance them on a tray and carry them over to where Tauren and his friends are setting up a pool game.
“Um, Abby said you would want your usual.”
His gaze locks with mine, and then he gives me a once-over, taking in my attire. My little shorts and the Happy’s Place shirt that says “Always Leave With A Smile.” He doesn’t look too happy to see me wearing this, the smile on his face fading.
“What are you doing here?” he asks rudely.
“I work here.”
He takes my arm and steers me down the hall to where the bathrooms are. I snatch my arm out of his grasp and rub the spot where his fingers dug into my flesh.
“I don’t think you should be working here in your condition.”
My eyes widen in shock. “You cannot be serious, Tauren.”
“Well, I am,” he replies, crossing his arms over his chest. “Go home, Helene.”
Anger builds inside me, causing heat to spread up my neck and cheeks. I’ve had an overbearing man tell me what to do my entire adult life. I’ve done what others have wanted me to do when it wasn’t in my best interest. I’ve rarely put myself and my wants first, and when I did, I got pregnant and dumped. I ended up alone. Completely alone.
What have I learned? That I am the only person I can count on. I am the only person who won’t let myself down, and it’s time that I started proving that to myself.
“No.”
“No?”
“I am working, so excuse me,” I tell him, and he takes my hand.
“You are pregnant, Helene, with my child! I don’t want you here!”
The gasp is instant, and we both turn to see where it came from. Abby stands there, her hand over her mouth. She turns and rushes off and Tauren curses before running after her.
I go back to work, doing my best to forget our conversation. Anyone who tells you waitressing is an easy job is a liar. A flat-out liar. My feet are killing me, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. If you don’t smile, you don’t look friendly, and if you don’t look friendly, you don’t get good tips.
Abby has pretty much left me on my own since she overheard Tauren and me talking, but as the night winds down, she finally comes to talk to me.
“You did good,” she says. “Picked up on everything really good. Of course, in a few months, you’ll have to figure out what to do about the uniform.”
“Yeah, I’ll figure it out,” I tell her, not wanting to talk about it with her, especially when I haven’t talked to anyone about it aside from Tauren.
“If I had known you two were serious, I wouldn’t have blown him in the bathroom,” she shrugs. “Good luck trying to tame him, honey. He’s been sticking his dick in every pussy around town. You might not be the only one having a mini Tauren Holt.”
Ugh. For a moment there, I thought she was being nice. So much for that.
Chapter Thirteen
Tauren
Kipton takes my glass of beer from me and snatches the pool stick out of my other hand. I stumble toward the pool table, and I know if it wasn’t there, I would’ve fallen flat on my fucking face. My hand skates across the green felt, pool balls scattering. Parker gives me an annoyed look, and I burst out laughing.
“Okay, time for you to go,” Kipton says, tugging me backward.
He somehow manages to keep me upright, his arms strong and sturdy as they go around my waist to keep me from falling on my ass. He manages to get one of my arms over his shoulders and begins escorting me from Happy’s.
On our way out, I spot Helene. She’s still working, leaning over a table to deliver some drinks. She tugs down on the back of the shorts and stands there chatting with her customers.
“Onnnne minnnuttte,” I slur and shrug out from underneath Kipton’s arm.
“Shit,” he grumbles and reaches from my arm, but misses.
I prop myself up at the table Helene is at, flashing a very lazy smile at the patrons before turning my attention to her.
“Do you…do you nnneeeedd a rrriddde hhhommme?” I ask her, and she makes a face.
She leans in and whispers, “Tauren, I think you’re drunk.”
“I got him,” Kipton steps in, taking me by the arm. “Sorry.”
“Ah jusss wanna take herrr hhhommme,” I argue, pushing him a
way. I swallow and realize that I’m looking at the ceiling. Why the fuck am I looking at the ceiling?
Helene kneels over me, concern etched on her face. “Are you alright?”
I glance around and can see knees and feet. I’m on the damn floor! Fuck! I rise up on my elbows and stare up at her.
“Mmmarrry mmee,” I say, a bit of drool slipping from my mouth. I wipe it away with my hand.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk in my life. Did I ask Helene to marry me? At least it somewhat sounded like that. Holy hell. She doesn’t answer, just stands up and walks away.
That pisses me off. How can she not answer me? We’re having a kid together, and she won’t marry me? I push myself up to my knees and yell out in anger, not even sure what I’m saying, but it gets her attention and everyone else at Happy’s too. Good!
“You’re making a fucking spectacle of yourself,” Kipton warns. “Get your drunk ass off the floor and let’s go.”
He hoists me up and tells me to keep my damn mouth shut. I’ve done enough damage. I don’t listen to him though. I keep shouting and yelling, whatever comes to my mind, which is a bumfuzzled mess right now. Doesn’t matter. I’m outraged, and I need to get it off my chest. I continue to yell and show my ass until Kipton tosses me in his passenger seat.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” he mutters, spinning out of the parking lot. “Do you even know what you’re saying right now?”
I start to answer him but, as quickly as I can, I get to my knees and lean my head out of his window, barf flying from my mouth. I’m possibly blowing chunks on the cars behind us, but I can’t control myself. Everything on my stomach is doing its damnedest to come out. Who am I to stop it?
Once I’m done throwing up, I fall back in the seat, using the bottom of my shirt to clean my mouth off. I grin over at my brother.
“I feelll bbetter,” I tell him, my slur surprisingly intelligible. Now that I’ve vomited up the alcohol I consumed, my head isn’t swimming quite so much.
“Yeah? You feel better?” he asks, still pissed. “Cause you just told everyone at Happy’s that you got Helene pregnant!”
