by Katee Robert
Not dead. Unconscious.
I keep one hand on their throat and fumble through their robes with the other, searching for… Ah, there it is.
I yank back the hood to find a man with light-brown skin and black hair. He shudders and opens his eyes. Good. I hold up a dart, careful to keep my fingers away from the sharp end. “Is this what you shot my girlfriend with?”
“Fuck off, Amazon.”
“Hmm. Thought you might say that.” I release his throat and grab his arm. It’s a better location, because it will give him time to react instead of knocking him out cold the way he did Shiloh.
Hang on, love.
I jab the dart into his forearm and jump back. Predictably, he doesn’t hesitate. He scrambles at the pack at his waist, pulling out a tiny vial of green liquid and downing it. The man shudders with relief. “You bitch.”
I shift a little farther away, eyeing him. A beat passes, two, three. When he doesn’t keel over and die, I decide he’s actually given himself the antidote instead of taking some other poison. More, the dart should have taken him out by now if it wasn’t counteracted. Good. While he’s still finding his feet, I punch him in the face, knocking him to the ground.
Then I make sure he won’t ever get up again.
The squeal of tires against the street brings my head up. I dig through the assassin’s pouch as Broderick screeches to a halt next to me. It takes a few seconds to find another vial filled with green liquid identical to the first one and then I run to the truck and yank open the door. “I have the antidote.”
He’s too pale, the lines bracketing his mouth looking deeper than I’ve ever seen them. “Are you sure it’s the right one?”
“As sure as I can be.” I wait a beat, but he doesn’t try to stop me as I reach for Shiloh’s limp form and carefully tilt her head back. “Hang in there, Shiloh. This won’t be comfortable.” I drag in a breath. “She’s still breathing, but I don’t want to take any chances. Pour it in while I help her swallow.”
“Okay.” He takes the vial from me, and I hold her mouth open as Broderick dumps it down her throat. Then I do my best to ensure all the antidote actually makes it to her stomach.
“Please don’t be too late. Come on, love. Come back to us.”
Time ceases to have meaning as we watch her, waiting to see if the antidote works. A million things flash through my mind in those short minutes. The possibility that the assassin faked me out. The implications of a Mystic this far inside Amazon territory. How desperately I don’t want to make Shiloh choose between me and Broderick.
Because she will wake up, damn it.
“Shiloh…” My voice breaks. “Gods, this is so fucked up.”
Broderick takes my hand. He’s obviously just as terrified as I am, but he’s still so fucking steady, still offering support even when he needs it just as badly as I do. I can’t stop shaking. “What if—”
“She’ll wake up.” He says it quietly. Firmly. “Give it time.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“You did good, Monroe. That was quick thinking to get the antidote.” His thumb ghosts over my knuckles. Only a fine tremor in his hand lets me know he’s just as fucked up over this as I am. “How the hell did you catch up to them so fast?”
“I’m a bad bitch.” I try to smile, but I can’t quite pull it off. “They don’t get to come here on my territory and fuck with my people.” I look down at Shiloh, measuring her slow inhales and exhales. “I don’t care if she’s an Amazon or not, Broderick. She’s mine.” I meet his gaze. “She’s ours.”
“Yeah. She is.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “We—”
Shiloh drags in a ragged breath and whimpers. “Fuck, that hurts.”
“Shiloh!” Broderick and I say her name as one, and nearly smack our heads into each other in our effort to help her sit up. We ease her against the seat between us. She’s pale, and the black marks on her throat are still fading, but her eyes are open, and she’s breathing deeper now.
She lifts a hand and touches a trembling finger to my cheek. It comes away wet, which is when I realize I’m crying. “That close?” she murmurs.
“Yes.” I won’t lie to her. Not even about this.
She leans back and closes her eyes. “Damn.”
Broderick clears his throat. “We need to get back across the river to Raider territory.”
It’s the smart thing to do, and it makes sense why he’d want to get Shiloh back to safety. I even agree with the plan…with one caveat. “Drop me off at the main tower.”
He shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that.”
“You don’t have a choice.” I don’t want to speak the next bit, but we’ve come too far and if I trust them. “There is absolutely no way a Mystic assassin would make it to this point without getting tagged by one of our patrols.” I hold up a hand before Broderick can argue. “We have precautions against exactly this sort of thing, the same way you do. We know how they work, and we guard against it.”
“What are you saying?”
I don’t want to say it. I truly don’t. But with both of them looking at me, I can do nothing but tell the truth. “Someone gave him permission.”
Shiloh closes her eyes, but not before I see the truth there in their hazel depths. The very thing I was beginning to suspect but didn’t want to face. I take a slow breath. “I thought you were irritated because of the longer days in the office guarding me, but that’s not it, is it?”
She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to. Not with all the puzzle pieces clicking into place, faster and faster. “I know who your parents were to my mother. Not close, exactly, but close enough that she preferred me to be the one to deliver their punishment. I thought it was the first offense, but she also neglected to mention they had a child at one point.” An intentional omission in hindsight. Revealing that knowledge after their abuse became public would open my mother up to uncomfortable questions.
Questions I now want answers to.
I might be able to write it all off as coincidence if not for the assassin’s target. Not me. Not Broderick. Either of us would make more sense. If Broderick dies on Amazon territory, it will mean war between Raider and Amazon. If I do, it means the same thing. It wouldn’t matter that the surviving members claimed a Mystic was behind the death. They would be called a liar because of the nature of our relationship.
But Shiloh?
No one is going to war for our girl. No one is hurt by her loss except me and Broderick. No one gains from her death…
Unless her existence is a secret someone doesn’t want shared.
Someone like my mother.
The thought makes me sick, but my mother is more than capable of it. She’s willing to leave Winry hanging in the wind; how much more so would she do the same to some child unrelated to her by blood? A small price to pay, a cost weighed against a thousand things she has moving in her head.
I know about making hard choices. I’ve been doing it for years now, and when I’m queen, it will only get that much more challenging. It’s what I’m trained for.
It doesn’t make it right.
Finally, Broderick releases a breath. “We’ll come with you. Back you up.”
“You really don’t have to—”
“Monroe.” Shiloh puts her hand on my arm. “We’re coming with you.”
I start to argue but… I don’t want to. I want them with me. Having these two at my back is comforting in a way I can hardly put into words. Finally, I nod. “We need the body.”
“On it.” Broderick climbs down from the driver’s seat and strides to where I left the body in the middle of the street.
Shiloh squeezes my arm. “How close?”
“Do you want the comforting lie or the scary truth?” When she gives me a look, I sigh. “Another few minutes and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’m not certain whether or not the poison has long-term effects, either. Usually when the assassins get close enough to use their darts, i
t’s too late.”
I almost lost her.
The reality of that sets in, sending shakes through my body. I want to cling to Shiloh, to run my hands over her until I’m satisfied that she’s really here, really safe. I settle for leaning in and kissing her lightly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she says faintly.
The truck dips as Broderick dumps the body in the bed of it. He wastes no time reclaiming the driver’s seat and putting it into gear. “You sure about this?”
No. There’s only one path forward, and it terrifies me. There must be consequences for putting a child in danger, even if it was decades ago. It’s not the same penalty as actually doing the harm, but even my mother isn’t exempt from it.
Pushing forward with justice means I’m going to lose everything.
I look at Broderick, at Shiloh. We always knew this was temporary, but I thought I had more time. I needed the next ten months. Now, our time together numbers in the hours instead of months. It doesn’t matter if I’m a Bride. Brides don’t have to reside in the same location as their partners do. It’s unspoken tradition, but it’s not a law the same way as consummating the handfasting or keeping the Bridal peace. We’ll figure it out. The peace will hold, but this is happening one way or another. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“Okay.” He takes me at my word.
The drive to the main tower takes no time at all. I direct Broderick to park against the curb, and then we grab the body and head into the building through the front door. I don’t normally bring bloody business in this way, but don’t want to give my mother the chance to shove this mess under the rug and pretend it never happened. The Amazons in the lobby stare, but they make no move to interfere as we stride to the elevator and step inside.
I’m heir, after all.
Soon enough, I’ll be their queen.
The receptionist, Gladys, sees me coming and jumps to her feet. “Monroe—”
“Is my mother in her office?”
Gladys attention snags on the body over Broderick’s shoulder, and she pales. “Yes.”
“Thank you.” I lead the way back to the corner office where my mother spends most of her time. It’s decorated similarly to mine, classic and chic with an emphasis on the windows and the view they offer. I couldn't give a shit about the view right now.
I step aside, letting Broderick and Shiloh into the room, and then shut the door behind me. “It’s time to talk, Mother.”
If my mother is surprised to see Shiloh alive and walking, she doesn’t show it. Then again, she’s always had one hell of a poker face. She folds her hands and raises her brows. “Is there a reason you have a dead Mystic in my office? We’ve worked rather hard to avoid inter-faction conflict.”
“Mmm.” I cross my arms over my chest. If I let her get control of this conversation, it won’t end well for anyone. “I’m more worried about conflict within the faction. The Amazon queen contracting a Mystic assassin to kill one of her own people isn’t a good look, especially when it’s to cover up the fact that she facilitated the horrific abuse of a minor for years.” I glare, refusing to be the one to drop my gaze first. “You’ve fucked up, Mother. And now I have to clean up your mess.”
“You’re overreaching.” Steel enters her tone. “I’m the queen here.”
“A queen who allowed two priests to torture and abuse their daughter. A queen who then tried to murder that daughter to cover up her neglect of her duties. Not much of a queen from where I’m standing.”
She considers me for a long moment. “I do what I do for the good of the faction.”
“Don’t lie to me!” I pause and concentrate on keeping my voice modulated. “You chose the easy path. I don’t know why this was the time you decided to be anything less than a queen, but you made your choice, and now I have to make mine.” I drag in a breath. “You will step down and allow me to take the throne.”
She raises a brow. “If I don’t step down?”
“Then I will allow this story to circulate, which will weaken the faction as a whole.”
“You don’t think a queen who is Bride to a Raider and a Paine brother would weaken our faction?” Her gaze flicks over my shoulder to Broderick.
My earlier fury returns full force. I love my mother. I have no doubt that she loves me. But that does not mean that she’s infallible, and she facilitated harm on a scale that leaves me breathless. “She was a child. We protect our children. You have fed me that line over and over again, have bolstered my belief that the way we value our children sets us apart from the rest of the city—the country, even. All this time, you have been the biggest fucking hypocrite.”
My voice breaks, but I power through. “So, yes, I will commit a little harm to our faction in order to set the tone for my reign. It’s a small price to pay to reassure our people that their children are safe under my rule. That is my priority. I will deal with both Raider and Mystic factions as required.”
My mother’s mouth goes tight, but she finally rises. “I suppose you’re set on this route.”
“I am.”
“Very well.” Her lips curve, the first indication that I’ve played right into her hands. “I’ll step down immediately. Long live the queen.”
Behind me, I don’t think Shiloh or Broderick draw breath. Neither of them expected this, and I allow myself a beat of sorrow to mourn the loss of them. It’s going to hurt so fucking much when they walk away, but if I’m going to avoid being the hypocrite my mother is, I can’t let my own personal feelings get in the way of my people’s safety.
Even if it breaks my heart in the process.
Chapter 31
Shiloh
Things happen quickly after that. Monroe is swept away. The dead Mystic is taken from us. Broderick and I are politely but resolutely guided out of the building and back to the truck. Neither of us speaks as we drive back over the river, not even when a convoy of other Raider vehicles surrounds us and escort us back to the compound.
Broderick parks and looks at me. “I’m sorry.” He makes no move to get out of the car despite Abel and the others who provided our escort through Raider territory waiting.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” My throat feels like it’s on fire, and I can’t tell if that’s an aftereffect of the poison or the fact that we just drove away from the woman I love. I can already feel the dynamic shifting between Broderick and I, both of us too tentative without Monroe here to urge us forward.
Well, I’ll have to be the one to be assertive this time.
I clear my throat and wince. “We made the wrong call.”
“What?” He catches Abel’s gaze through the windshield and waves his brother off. After the barest hesitation, Abel leads his group toward the main building, though he lingers outside after the rest of them have dispersed.
“We shouldn’t have left her there.”
“Shiloh, we didn’t have much choice.”
I twist to face him. “Yes, we did. We could have fought for her. She’s fighting for me right now, and we just turned around and let them shove us out.”
“You heard her. She’s going to be queen.”
“I heard.” I press a shaking hand to my chest. “Broderick, I love her. And I love you. I know it’s not the same for you, but—”
He curses. “I’m falling for her, too. Have already fallen, if I’m going to be honest. It’s not convenient, and I want to shove her out a window half the time, but I’m self-aware enough to recognize the feeling.” He drags his hand over his face. “What do you want from me, Shiloh? I don’t know how to make this work. It’s all happening too fast. I thought we’d have more time.”
My brain still feels fuzzy, but I try to focus. There’s a way through this. There has to be. “Do you want us? To be a throuple in a permanent way?”
He hesitates, his hands flexing on the steering wheel. “Yeah. I do.”
“Me, too.” I shift on the seat. This next part is more difficult. “She’s still your Bride.
They can’t deny access to you.”
“She won’t come back here as queen. There’s no fucking way. It would never work.”
“You’re right. She won’t.”
It doesn’t take him long to connect the dots. He curses. “You’re really willing to live among the Amazons again after everything? I can’t ask that of you. Monroe sure as fuck won’t.”
The idea isn’t exactly comfortable, but the alternative is a thousand times worse. I take a slow breath. “It wasn’t the entire Amazon faction responsible for what happened to me. The people who hurt me have been punished. Gods, Broderick, she went after her own mother on my behalf. If the other Amazons are like Monroe, I think we’ll do just fine.”
“If the other Amazons are like Monroe, I don’t know if I’ll survive it,” he mutters. But his grip has loosened on the steering wheel. “Are you sure? I don’t know if this is a decision we can change our minds about after the fact. If we go to her with the intent of staying, we’ll be under suspicion every time we interact with the Raiders.”
I think about Iris, about Maddox and Cohen and the others I’ve become friends with over the years. They’ve been a family of sorts, and if that means there’s a new distance between us, I don’t think it will break those relationships entirely. How novel. “What about you? You’re Abel’s second-in-command. That’s not exactly an easy position to fill.”
“You’d be surprised.” He stares out the windshield for a long moment. “Be sure, Shiloh. If we do this, there’s no going back.”
“I’m sure if you are.”
Another, longer stream of curses. “Well, shit, guess I better go talk to my brother.”
Abel must have seen that our conversation was finished, because he ambles over. Broderick rolls down the window. “You’re not going to like this.”
“Strangest thing.” Abel looks at him and then at me. “I just got word that Monroe Rhodius is stepping up as queen of the Amazons. This have anything to do with what went down this morning?” He focuses on me. “Glad you’re okay, Shiloh.”
