by Lolah Lace
Chapter 30
JAGGER
Life was moving about according to God’s plan. At the very least rapper, Drake thought so. He was on the remix of our single Jumping Into Something. Archie, Colin, Winston and I were all back in London filming the video for that second single on the album. The video shoot would be easy enough. I’d done too many to count. Drake had flown in from Canada just to make a guest appearance in the video. He was a cool bloke but he was a real Casanova. He had a reputation with the ladies. I was going to make sure he never crossed paths with my girl. I designed it that way in purpose.
Kat was flying into my home country. We had a lot to talk about. I’d spent Christmas in Naperville and finally got a chance to meet her daughter Kennedy. It wasn’t odd. She literally looked like Kat’s sister. Absolutely no one would think they were mother and daughter.
It was important that I didn’t buy very expensive gifts for Aaron and Kennedy. But of course, I wanted Kat’s kids to like me. Christmas with Kat was something special to me. Being with a family even if everyone was doing their own thing was a gift. I wanted to be apart of that a family and not a guest. Winston, Archie, and Colin had families they spent the holidays with. I tagged along sometimes but I felt like a reject. They took pity on me and invited me. It felt strange because they were the celebrities in their families. Me being there made two famous people and it didn’t seem fair to my bandmates.
We finished the video after two days. Drake did his part. He added a little swag to an already swagged out dance track. Toxic Shock took him out to dinner to celebrate.
Tomorrow I would take Kat to my aunt’s place not too far from the hotel. I wanted to formally introduce my true love to my aunt Linda and my little cousin Mandy. My aunt had to raise me after my mum was killed. My father didn’t have the proper skill to take care of me after mum died. I wished I’d spent more time with him but I was just a boy trying to adjust to a tragic situation the best I could. I used work to soothe me. Even as a child I was a workaholic.
I missed my father. He was a quiet man and I never knew much about him because I was too young to make a proper inquiry.
Kat’s flight arrived around midday. She was a vision of loveliness. Her hair was straight and bouncy. She was wrapped in a wool tan coat. Her Louis Vuitton luggage matched her coat and boots.
I assured her that I would have adequate security at the hotel. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened with the New York City incident. The Tara Snow situation wasn’t my bloody fault. It was Winston’s fault and I dealt with him soon after. He owed my Kat an apology and he promised to give it to her the next time he saw her.
“How was your flight?” I removed her coat and placed it in the closet by the entryway.
“Long but worth it.” She greeted me with a passionate kiss. I touched her hair. It was straight and shiny. I liked the look. It was different.
“You have to come back in March for the beginning of the tour. You’re my good luck charm.”
“It starts here in London?” Kat wiped my lips clean of her tinted lip-gloss.
“Yes, at the O2 Arena. Then we’re going to Manchester, Birmingham, New Castle, and Sheffield. Then we’re done with England. Our next stop is Scotland, two nights. Then we have three nights in Dublin Ireland, and then three more nights up in Northern Ireland, and Belfast. After that, we are going to the states. Whereabouts, I don’t have in my brain.”
“That’s a lot to remember.”
“I’m going to get you a copy of the tour schedule with the dates so we can plan visits.”
“Okay. Did you finish filming the video yesterday?”
“Yes.”
“How did it go?”
“It was a blast. We finished a little ahead of schedule.”
“I love how you say the word schedule.”
“Really?”
“Hey, did Drake fly here to do the video?”
“Yea, he had time in his schedule.” I laughed. There, I’d said it again. “We had dinner last night and he had to fly to California to shoot another video with Nicki Minaj.”
“I wish I could’ve been at the video shoot.
Never, my sweet. “I want to move forward with us having a baby. You have eggs.”
“I do. This is a big decision.”
“It is. Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, its just there’s this process. I have a lot to do.”
“I know and I’m sorry I can’t be around for the entire process.”
“I understand, I do.”
“I don’t want to get your hopes up. I don’t have many eggs.”
“It’ll be okay. You only need one to take. You can freeze some if you like.”
“I can’t believe how much you know about this stuff. It feels weird.”
“Why, why does it feel weird?”
“Because of the money. Paying someone to carry a baby is just a lot to wrap my head around.”
“You have a pretty head. I’m sure it will wrap soon enough.”
She rolled her eyes at my cheekiness.
“Pregnancy is hard. Some stranger walking around with my baby in their stomach is harder. Is she going to drink or smoke or whatever? It’s not her child so why would she care.”
“I will pay her to give a fuck. Money isn’t the issue. I have a few contracts that my attorney drew up.” I pulled a manila folder out of the top desk drawer. “I want you to look then over when you go back to the states.” I placed the folder in her hands. If you want to get another lawyer to look it over just contact my attorney and he will overnight the same contract to you to present but my name will be redacted. If you want to amend the contract in any way call my attorney and he’ll draw up a new contract.”
She opened the folder to peek inside. I closed the flap before I could read one sentence.
“No, this is for later. I’m in this part of the world for about forty days. I want us to just be together without that bloody business stuff on your mind. Please, put it away in your carryon.”
“Okay.”
“It’s just a lot of legal stuff. But if you sign then we start the process. You have to look for a suitable surrogate. When I come back to the states you will start the fertility drugs to stimulate your ovaries. The doctors take your golden eggs. I give my platinum sperm and we hope and pray it happens.”
“You make it sound so simple. But I’m sure it’s not.”
“Well, I’m willing to bet it will be a fairytale.”
“Youth and optimism may be why I love you.”
“I thought it was my huge cock. Huh.”
My mobile phone rang. I pulled it from my back pocket.
“Glynn.”
“Roddy Ricch is here in town performing. He cleared his schedule for a few hours to do the remix on Bad Boy Toy .”
“Roddy Rich is in London?”
“Yes, I need you to come down to the Abbey.”
“When?”
“Right now.”
“That’s no warning at all.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Come to the Abbey right now.”
“Is he there?”
“He’s on his way.”
“Did you send an engineer?”
“Yes.”
“What about my mates?”
“Just you, a quick simple gig. Roddy’s already written his verse. I heard it and its fire.”
“Really, did you even understand the lyrics?”
“No but that’s why I need you there to make sure, there are no overt references to bitches, hoes, drugs, guns, violence or politics.”
“Without that stuff, the verse would be rubbish.”
“Very funny. We only need you for ad-libs.”
“Only ad-libs.”
“Yes, just Migos it up. You know that weird random shit they do. We’re trying to get one of these singles to reach an urban demographic.”
“Fine, I will be there within the hour.”
“I will text you the details.
Make it soulful.”
I ended the call. Make it soulful, he says.
I turned to Kat a few feet away.
“Babe.” I didn’t want to leave her. She’d just gotten here.
“You have to go record.”
“Yes, but it won’t take long. I’m doing some adlibs on a previously recorded track. Just a few hours tops.”
Her eyes looked disappointed. “You have to work.”
“I promise I will be in and out.”
“Don’t rush. I can entertain myself for a while.”
I kissed her in the forehead and left her standing in the bedroom. I needed to gather a few things and call Matt so he could call security. I needed to ride to the studio. I’d never met Roddy Rich but he was a hot new rapper. I hoped this would be a drug-free studio session. I didn’t want the smoke on me. I didn't want any reason for Kat to question my sobriety.
KATRINA
Jagger left me alone in the hotel room. This wasn’t the first time. I thought he’d be finished with work but things seemed to always pop up last minute. It was out of his control. He was in demand. He was the lead singer of the most famous boy band in the world. There was a K-Pop band that was coming in a close second but Jagger didn’t seem to care. He knew this wasn’t going to last forever. Toxic Shock might only have one more album in them before the group disbanded. He hoped it would just be a hiatus while they all went and pursued their solo dreams. Toxic Shock had been together for five years. After seeing how this operation worked even I thought that was a long time.
Jagger had to turn down a lot of movie scripts because of his band obligations. He started as an actor and he had a fondness for it. He had a lot on his shoulders and sometimes I was in awe of how he handled everything and everybody around him.
He was gone so that meant I could look over these contracts. My daughter was going to be a lawyer so I wanted to discuss the documents with her. I went to my carryon bag a fished them out.
There was a surrogacy contract, a child support agreement, and a child custody agreement. There were a lot of pages and I skimmed them trying to understand what I was reading.
I called Kennedy and waited for her to pick up. After I explained to her what was going on she wanted the details in the contracts. I took a screenshot and sent them to her. I waited patiently while she silently went over documents.
“Ma.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s a lot here.”
“Is that good or bad.”
“Well, he’s giving you full custody so that’s good. You’ll get yearly child support in a lump sum of a quarter of a million dollars for twenty-one years. You get a new house that you pick and he pays for that. Is has to be in the three to six million dollar range in the state of Illinois.”
“He knows I don’t want to leave this area. I’m not pulling Aaron out of school. But why so expensive?”
“Your name will be on the deed of the house. It will be yours even though he’s buying it.”
“Wow.”
“It says he will pay for all travel visits to see the child. Which will include you, the child and a nanny if you come to him. He pays for the nanny too. He also pays for the yearly lease on a brand new car with top safety features for twenty-one years. It’s a really good contract. It sets you up for life. You’ll end up with over five million total and a house. It looks really generous. There are minor things like security but that’s in the event the child’s identity is revealed. He’s paying for all security too. You get to pick the surrogate. You get to name this kid too. He’s letting you run the entire baby show.”
“Do you think I should do it?”
“Do you want a baby with this guy?”
“I think I do. I love him. He would be a great father.”
“We already know you’re a great mother. These contracts cover a lot but he’s not saying you can’t work or anything misogynistic.”
“That’s good.”
“Ma, I know that I’m not having any kids. I’m serious about a career in law. You won’t have a grandchild from me in a very long time.”
“What’s a long time?”
“Ten years maybe more. My career is important to me.” I knew she was telling the truth. Kennedy had always been ambitious. She always wanted to be an attorney.
“So that’s basically saying do it or not?”
“I would say no to this whole thing if you were doing it for the money. But you’re not that kind of person. You love this guy. You are flying all over the country to be with him. He’s flying to Naperville to be with you. I know you think you’re too old but you’re not. You can do this with your eyes closed.”
A pep talk from my firstborn, I needed that.
There was a knock on the hotel room door.
“Hey, Kennedy someone is knocking at the door. I’m going to call you back.”
“Okay please remember the six-hour time difference."
“I will. thanks for the reminder. I love you.”
“Love you too.” I waited for her to hang up first.
There was another knock on the hotel room door. I walked out of the bedroom and toward the door. I opened the door. I probably should’ve looked through the peephole. What if it was a rabid fan? It wasn’t.
Rude Winston was standing there looking like he’d just opened his eyes from a nap.
“Hey.” He grumbled.
“Jagger isn’t here.”
“I know he’s at Abbey Road. Can I holler at you for a bit?”
I rolled my eyes but walked across the room. Winston followed but didn’t come to close. The door closed behind him.
“What’s up?” I crossed my arms in front of me.
“I wanted to give you a sincere apology for what happened with the actress, Tara. It wasn’t a proper prank. I was being a wanker.”
“Ah yeah, you were.”
“Yes, I was being an arse.”
I wanted to censor my words and decided to just say how I felt. “I don’t know why you don’t like me.”
“It’s not that I don’t like you.”
“It sure feels that way.”
“It’s not at all. I felt threatened by you.”
I was confused. Who the hell is threatened by a book editor? Was I going to pummel him with paperback young adult dystopian novels?
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“I was jealous. Jagger is happy. He writes his best music because of you. He talks about you like you’re the Queen of England. I wanted to knock him off his bloody pedestal. He’s happy and I wasn’t here for it.”
“You’re his fucking brother you should want to see him happy.”
“Do you understand? I was jealous. I thought you were going to swoop in and take him away. I thought you were going to give him a reason to break up the group. This group is like a noose around his neck. I don’t have anything but Toxic Shock. All I have is this bloody group. This is my entire life.”
“I don’t want Jagger to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Toxic Shock is a separate thing. I’m just his girlfriend. I don’t tell Jagger what to do. I didn’t even know who the hell you all were a few months ago. This music has nothing to do with me. I’m not a part of this damn group.”
“No, that’s not true. You are a huge part of this group. He’s kicked the drugs. He doesn’t even drink anymore. Most of the songs on the album were written about you, to you. You inspire him. You have a lot of power. You have to know that. I felt threatened by it.”
“Do you currently feel this way. I haven’t done anything for this to be the case.”
“I love Jagger. He’s like my brother. He’s the only one who knows my secrets.”
“I’m not and never have tried to come between you and Jagger.”
“I know that.”
“You don’t act like it. I’m a grown-ass woman and this is some high school bullshit. You need to get you a girlfriend so you’ll have something to do with your time and energy.�
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“I will never have a girlfriend.” He smirked. So was he trying to tell me he was gay? Nah! He’s like the second most popular one in the group.
“I just want to say I’m sorry about everything.”
“Fine. I accept your apology.” Reluctantly of course, definitely sleeping with my eyes open.
“Thanks, you know for listening to me.”
“Yeah, no problem. It’s all good.” That was only half true. I was still going to have my guard up around him.
“Okay. Well. I’m going to see myself out.”
I didn’t respond to that. I tilted my head toward the door and watched him walk out of the suite. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
This guy Winston Kingsley was a whole mess. If Jagger has a baby with me he’s going to be really jealous. I should of it as when— when we have a baby Winston is going to really hate me. I have to give zero fucks. I love Jagger. He wants a baby and I’ve made up my mind. I want one too. Third times a charm, I could be a worry-free mother this time around. I would still worry of course but I wouldn’t have the financial worries I had when I married young and had Kennedy.
Erik and I struggled in the beginning. We didn’t start out with decent careers when we were young. I got pregnant early and it wasn’t a cakewalk. It was hard. Both of my kids were fairly healthy so I prayed the third one would be also. I was getting excited about the prospect of having a wittle baby.
I’d talk to both my kids about it and they didn’t seem to mind. I never called Jagger Jag but I could see a little baby Jag in our future. A baby girl could be called Jagger too. But a junior would be difficult for any child to live up to. That would be too much pressure. No name’s sake. No juniors. I was getting ahead of myself. There were so many other things to do first. I wanted this to work. I always wanted to have three kids but I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea financially. When Erik started making more money he told me flat out he didn’t want any more kids. How ironic, he had a third kid with someone else.
