Dad was resting on the couch when a sour-faced Trinity let them in. When they’d called to see if they could come by, Trinity had said, “As long as that crazy woman doesn’t come with you.” That crazy woman happened to be the one he loved, but he bit back his words and agreed politely. He and Jamie wanted to see him and wish him well but make it clear they wouldn’t be stopping by for Sunday dinners anytime soon.
Dad smiled at them when they came into the room. “Hey, guys. Good to see you.”
“How’re you feeling?” Jamie asked as she sat in a bright green armchair across from the couch. The entire place was decorated in circus colors.
“Much improved. Thanks. Trinity’s taking great care of me.” Trinity sat on the arm of the sofa next to Dad and stroked his arm.
Trey’s stomach turned. His legs felt shaky and weak, so he sat in the chair next to his sister.
“We just came by to tell you we’ve taken care of everything for Mom,” Jamie said.
“Sounds like you found her one hell of an attorney,” Dad said, chuckling. “She’s a real shark.”
“You were married almost four decades, Dad,” Trey said. “Fifty-fifty.”
Dad flashed another smile that reminded Trey of a satisfied cat. “I never had any intention of robbing her of her fifty percent. Anyway, I know how this works. Doesn’t matter that she never worked a day in her life. In California, she gets half of everything.”
Jamie stood with such force that she managed to scoot the rather heavy armchair back several inches. “What the hell? Never did a day’s work in her life? Are you kidding me? She raised us. She was at your beck and call twenty-four hours a day.”
“Come on now,” Dad said. “There were a lot of tennis games and lunches with the ladies, not to mention shopping sprees every week. It’s not like she was abused.”
Trey’s fists balled at his sides. “Jamie, we should go.”
“You have someplace you need to be?” Dad asked. “Trinity made a salad for lunch.”
“No, we can’t stay,” Trey said. “We just came by to see how you were. And to say goodbye.”
Jamie started pacing behind the chairs.
“Maybe you could come back sometime?” Trinity’s suggestion was paired with a triumphant smirk at the corners of her mouth.
Jamie stopped and scowled at her. “Is she kidding me right now?” she asked Trey, as if he would know.
Dad patted Trinity’s knee. “Don’t worry, baby. They’ll come around.”
Baby? They’ll come around? He was talking as if they weren’t right in front of him. Trey thought he might actually be sick.
“Mom’s going to live with me for a while.” Trey put his hand at his throat to stop the tremor, but it was of no use. He sounded shaky and squeaky, like a revisit to puberty. “Just until she can get on her feet.”
“That’s kind of you. She’ll enjoy that,” Dad said.
Jamie stopped and pointed a finger at him. “You don’t get to say one thing about what she does or what she’ll enjoy. You don’t get to be part of our family now.”
“I’ll always be your father,” Dad said. “My marriage has nothing to do with how I feel about you kids.”
“You mean your divorce,” Jamie shouted. “And if you were unhappy you should have done it the right way. Do you know how much worse this is because of her?” She pointed at Trinity. “Do you know how badly you’ve hurt Mom? She’ll probably never get over this.” She waved both hands, indicating the apartment. “And this whole thing—playing Barbie with this girl my age—it won’t last. You, Trinity, you’re a statistic. And Dad, you’re a cliché.”
“That’s enough, young lady,” Dad said in the clipped tone he used when they were young and in trouble.
“It’s not enough. Not nearly enough,” Jamie said. “You’ve never supported Trey or me in our dreams. You’ve hammered on us all our lives to take the responsible route, the safe route. And now you’ve gone and done this? Blown up your life for her? Do you even know her? Do you really think she could love a sixty-year-old man when she’s twenty-four, or do you think she’s quite aware of the divorce codes in the state of California?”
“You wait just a minute,” Dad said. “You’re a spoiled brat who has no idea how the world works. Both of you were coddled by your mother and made to think that your silly dreams were something you could actually achieve. I was the only one of the two of us who ever told you how it really is in life. How dare you waltz in here and judge me for seizing a slice of happiness.”
“Screw you, Dad,” Jamie said.
Trey jumped up, unsteady on his trembling legs. Trinity’s face had gone completely white under her tan. He moved quickly around the chair and took his sister’s arm. “This was a mistake. I wish you the best, but this is the last you’ll see of us. If you want to contact either of us, you can do so through the attorney.”
Trey nodded at Trinity. “Good luck. You’re going to need it.” With that, he took his sister’s quivering arm, her skin as hot as a skillet, and steered her toward the door. He’d only just shut it when his sister simultaneously burst into tears and started cursing. The girl could really curse with the best of them.
“All right now. Let’s just get out of here.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked her over to the car. Once he had her inside, she’d calmed somewhat. After a resigned hiccup, she buckled her seat belt. He sprinted around to the front of the car, aware that Trinity watched from the window, and slid into the driver’s seat.
He threw the car into reverse and backed out of the skinny driveway. Minutes later, they were headed back to the house. The freeway traffic was light, and soon the exit for their parents’ Del Mar neighborhood appeared. By then, Jamie had quieted and was staring out her window with a forsaken expression.
“You want to talk?” he asked.
“I’m sorry for the outburst. I know it didn’t do any good.”
“Did it make you feel better?”
“Not really. I thought it would,” Jamie said.
“Yeah, getting that angry rarely does.”
“I guess we just have to move on.”
“Looks like we don’t have a choice.” He slowed the car as they turned off the freeway onto the thoroughfare that took them up to the house. They passed a busy shopping center and another, then a horse arena, where girls in traditional riding attire practiced jumps.
“I hate my life,” Jamie said. “My job’s awful. Now Mom won’t even be here. Have I told you about my roommates? It’s a constant party at our apartment, and they never clean up.”
They turned left to go up the hill into his parents’ gated community. Large homes in various architectural styles, including Spanish, early colonial, and modern, were built on either side of the lane. Yard workers trimmed and mowed. Two women dressed in yoga pants and skimpy tank tops power-walked up the slight incline. At the gate, he punched in the code, and they drove through, past several more estates until they reached the house.
In the driveway, he shut off the engine and turned to his sister. “You know, you could move to Cliffside Bay. Change it up.”
“Where would I live?”
“Mom will find a house soon enough. You could move in with me. Just for a few months. Until you figure out what you want to do next. I bet I could get you a job at the local brewery or The Oar. If you’re going to wait tables, you may as well do it somewhere close to Mom and me.” He snapped his fingers. “Or I could see if Kyle’s manager at the lodge would hire you. What better place to learn the trade, right?”
“I don’t know. How does that support my dream?”
“You can save money there just as well as here. Only with me, you can live rent-free.”
Her eyes widened as the understanding of what he was offering seemed to sink into her consciousness. “Do you mean it?”
“Absolutely. We’re family. You and me and Mom. We should be together right now. Mom needs us.”
“She does, that’s true.”<
br />
“Plus, Cliffside Bay’s a tourist town. The type of place where you could open an inn, for example.”
“Not with a lodge already there.”
“There are other spots, other little towns along the coast that might need one,” he said. “We could explore together.”
Jamie’s eyebrows drew together. She sucked in her bottom lip and tilted her head upward. This was her contemplation face. The same one she’d had as a child when she was trying to understand something. God, he’d adored her when she was a little girl. He still did. But after his marriage to Malia, he’d drifted from both his Mom and his sister. Being with them over the last few days had reminded him of the bond they’d always had. They were his family. His home.
“Maybe I could find something to renovate,” she said. “You could help me.”
“Sure I will.” He gave his sister’s hand a squeeze. “It’s time for both of us to go for what we want.”
“Oprah says you have to set your intention,” Jamie said. “My intention is to open an inn.” She fixed her big blue eyes on him. “What’s yours?”
He sat for a moment, looking out the window at the birds-of-paradise that bloomed in front of the house. “I want Autumn. I want her to be my wife.”
Jamie’s face lit up. “Well then, let’s go get her.”
He scratched behind one ear and grimaced. “I’m afraid your dream is a lot more likely to happen than mine.”
“You’ll never know unless you try.”
She was right. He had to make his move, tell the truth. “You’re right. It’s time.”
“Let’s go tell Mom.”
They grinned at each other for a few seconds and then, in tandem, opened their car doors and marched across the driveway and into the house. Intention, here we come.
12
Autumn
* * *
Autumn stood with Pepper in Lisa’s new kitchen admiring the view. Built on the highest peak of the northern hill, the house had panoramic views of the ocean from picture windows in the kitchen and living room. The house style was modern meets beachy, with tall ceilings and wide-open spaces. Without much furniture, the rooms echoed. The home was a blank canvas. Trey would love it. He would make it perfect for the newly married couple.
After Lisa gave them a tour of the upstairs, which included a generous master suite and three additional bedrooms, they settled on the front deck with cold drinks. The infinity pool mirrored the color of the ocean and truly did seem to go on forever. Autumn ached to jump in and swim. Up here, away from prying eyes, would be the perfect place for her to enjoy the water. Talk turned to Pepper’s wedding shower. Autumn had offered up her cottage since the other ladies would be busy moving.
“It’s weird that it’s in two days,” Pepper said.
“Sneaked up on me too,” Lisa said. “Soon, you’ll be an old married lady like me.”
“If only I could cook like you,” Pepper said. “Stone made such a beautiful kitchen in the new house, and I’ll probably never use it other than to heat up takeout from The Oar.”
They were laughing when Maggie came through the glass doors. She wore dark, wide sunglasses that covered most of her small face. Always conscious of protecting her fair skin, she was dressed in a long-sleeved linen shirt and jeans.
They greeted her cheerfully as she slumped into a chair and ripped off her sunglasses. Her eyes were clouded and red-rimmed.
“What’s the matter?” Lisa asked immediately.
“Is Lily all right?” Pepper asked.
Maggie waved her hand. “Yes, everyone’s fine. Jackson’s at a conference in the city. Lily’s with my nanny.” Her face crumpled into an ugly cry.
They all stared at her for a moment.
“Did you and Jackson have a fight?” Lisa asked.
Maggie pressed her fingers against her cheekbones and breathed in and out like someone trying to circumvent a panic attack. “No, no. We never fight. Not really, anyway. He leaves his socks on the floor, but besides that he’s perfect. It’s just that I’m…I’m pregnant again.”
“Really? That’s wonderful,” Autumn said, before realizing that it might not be the right response given Maggie’s tears. Still, another baby for the Wallers. What could be better? Lily Mae was almost two. This was the perfect distance between children, in her opinion.
“I don’t know how this keeps happening,” Maggie said.
“I’m pretty sure we all know how this happens,” Pepper said with a teasing yet sympathetic smile.
Maggie sent a dark look at her friend. “I mean that I’m on the pill. I was last time, too. Both times it’s been a total shock.”
“Why are you sad?” Lisa asked. “Lily’s going to have a little brother or sister. It’s wonderful news.”
“I’m not sad exactly. More like terrified.” Maggie sniffed and wiped her eyes with a cocktail napkin. “I’m probably going to start throwing up any day now, and I’m trying to cut another album. The record company wants me to go on tour again, but I hate being away from my family. And touring pregnant? For God’s sake, I already did that once and it was not fun. Lily is suddenly in her terrible two phase. She went from my happy baby to a pint-sized monster. Seriously, everything out of her mouth is ‘no.’” More tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m sorry. I am happy. Of course I am. I’m emotional, that’s all. I haven’t told Jackson yet. It’s terrible timing for him, too. He’s just finished opening the new office. It’s been so hectic for him—moving his entire medical practice to a new building.”
“Jackson’s going to be thrilled,” Lisa said. “He wants another, right?”
“He didn’t want Lily to be an only child like him,” Maggie said. “You know how he is. All about friends and family. He’ll be over-the-moon happy.” She dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. It’s just that…it kills me to admit this but juggling motherhood and my career is harder than I thought it would be. There’s this yearning in me to create music. I love writing songs, and I love performing. This career is everything I dreamed of for so long. I love Jackson and Lily more than anything, even my career. When I’m away from them, I miss them so much. When I am with them, and trying to write or manage the business aspects, I’m not fully present. That eats at me. I keep thinking maybe Kara’s doing the right thing by staying home with her two. Honestly, I’m struggling. It seems like I can’t ever be enough. There’s not enough of me to go around. Taking care of my own needs is last on the list, which makes me resentful. Like today, for instance. I feel guilty for having the nanny at home with Lily while I’m here with you ladies. I should be working or with her. Not here having fun.”
“Most mothers feel the same way you do,” Lisa said. “I’m assuming, anyway.”
“Most women feel this way,” Pepper said. “We’re always trying to be everything to everyone.”
“Which is impossible,” Autumn said.
“But Mags, you’re doing magnificently,” Lisa said. “Taking an afternoon off to spend with friends is not a crime.”
“If you don’t feed yourself, you have nothing to give anyone else,” Autumn said.
“Very true,” Lisa said. “We’re here for you. I’m always happy to take Lily. You know that.”
Maggie smiled as she pushed tendrils of hair away from her face. “I do know that. Without my village, I’d be toast. God, please, let’s talk about someone besides me. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” Pepper said. “That’s what friends are for.”
Maggie looked over at Autumn. “How are the coffee dates going?”
Autumn groaned. “I think I’ve retired from coffee dates.”
“Dating is awful. We remember only too well,” Pepper said. “I swear, Lisa and I dated every loser in New York City.”
“You’ll find your prince,” Lisa said.
“Maybe he’s right under your nose,” Pepper said.
The other two froze in place as Pepper’s cheeks flushed. The
n Pepper and Lisa exchanged a quick look between them. A look that said, we know something we’re not supposed to know.
“What do you mean?” Autumn drew out the words. “Right under my nose?”
“She’s talking about Trey,” Maggie blurted out before covering her mouth with her hand.
“Trey?” Autumn asked. “Trey isn’t right under my nose.”
“Isn’t he, though?” Pepper crossed her arms over her chest and spoke softly but with a serious glint in her eyes. “You guys are inseparable.”
“Trey’s not interested in a long-term relationship with anyone,” Autumn said.
“You sure about that?” Maggie asked.
“He doesn’t talk about his feelings that way,” Autumn said. “But I’m pretty sure his ugly divorce made him resistant to trying again. Now there’s this awful split between his parents.”
Lisa nodded. “My parents’ divorce shook me, too. Not enough to pass up a life with Rafael, but I get what you mean.”
“I keep thinking about the way he carried you inside the house that night before Lisa’s wedding,” Pepper said. “When the snow was so thick underfoot and he didn’t want you to have to traipse through it in your good shoes.”
“That’s not why,” Autumn said. He hadn’t cared about her shoes. He’d worried because he knew how tired her legs were after the day’s festivities. “He knew my legs were too fatigued to make it through all that snow.” He’d lifted her in his arms without a word, knowing her the way he did, and carried her across the snowy walkway and up the stairs to the house. When they’d danced together later that night, a warm, excited feeling had settled in the pit of her stomach. She’d lifted her head from his shoulder to look up at him. His heavy lids were half closed, and his jaw set in the same firm way it always was. Nothing there. Just friendship. She’d rested her cheek on his shoulder and told herself to be grateful for what they had.
She realized now that her musings had taken her attention from the ladies around her. Pepper and Maggie had their heads close together and were whispering. Lisa stared down at her hands. When Pepper and Maggie drew away, Lisa shook her head at them. “No, don’t do it. It’s not your place.”
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