“I’m not.” But even as she said it, she knew it to be true. There was a part of her she wouldn’t allow to soften, because it meant she could be hurt. She imagined her heart was not made of human cells but of steel.
“I know the truth,” he said. “We’re meant to be together. We’re soul mates. I’ve known it for so long now. If you’re too afraid to let yourself love me, then we’ll miss our chance, and that will be a damn shame.”
“I need some time to think,” she said.
All the air went out of him. His shoulders slumped, but he didn’t argue or plead his case. “I’ll give you some space. Just remember I love you. My intentions were good if misguided.” He swept by her, opened the back door, and slipped out to the patio. The door closed behind him in a gentle thud. Still, the sound thundered through the house as if he’d slammed it shut.
She sat there, too stunned to move. Then red-hot anger flooded through her. Once again, the person she trusted most had betrayed her.
Anger fueled her, made the pain more bearable. Wasn’t that how this worked? Anger was the steel material of her heart. As long as she kept the anger close, she could not be hurt.
She got up from the chair, knowing she had to put this aside for now. Soon, all the ladies would arrive for Pepper’s shower. She had to hold it together. She could cry later.
15
Trey
* * *
Trey didn’t have time to wallow, even if he wanted to curl up in a ball and die. His client meeting kept him busy most of the morning. By the time he pulled up to the Victorian, his mother and sister had arrived. The rest of the day was spent moving them into his apartment. They’d brought little. Jamie didn’t own much, other than clothes and a few books. Mom had put whatever she wanted from the house into storage, bringing only clothes.
By that evening, they’d settled into the spare room. Until Mom found a place of her own, Jamie was going to sleep on the couch and let Mom have the bed. However, they were sharing the closet.
“It’s just temporary,” he’d said. “We’ll find you a house soon.” The Wolves were on the job. They’d have her in a home of her own soon enough.
Around dinnertime, Jamie came back from the grocery store with ingredients for a chicken stir-fry. He’d sent several texts to Autumn, but she hadn’t replied. He prayed it was the wedding shower that kept her from answering and not her anger. After everything, if he lost her over this, he would never forgive himself.
While he and Mom sat at the table in his kitchen, Jamie scurried around making their meal. If they’d noticed his sadness, they hadn’t mentioned it to him during the day. He should have known that wouldn’t last. No sooner had he opened a bottle of wine than his sister, in her usual blunt fashion, asked him what in God’s name was the matter with him.
He thought about denying and just pretending that he was fine, but the need to talk outweighed his weariness. “It’s about Autumn.” He told them everything from the fake profile until the argument that morning. When he was finished, both his mother and sister wore an expression of pity mixed with disdain for his obvious stupidity.
“I’m with Autumn,” Mom said. “In that this was the worst idea ever. And I blame myself.”
“What?” Trey asked.
“I taught you by my example to keep everything inside.” She nodded toward Jamie. “It seemed to have the opposite effect on this one. She, obviously, doesn’t have a problem expressing herself.”
“Very funny,” Jamie said, good-naturedly.
“I’m afraid I’ve blown it for good,” Trey said. “She’s really angry with me.”
“Give her some time to cool down,” Mom said. “If she loves you, she’ll move past it.”
He hoped so. Please, God, help her to forgive me.
His mother and sister must have contacted Nico, because later that evening, his friend showed up at his door with a six-pack and an invitation to walk down to the beach. The sun had already set as they meandered down Main Street to the stretch of sand that curved like a quarter moon around the landscape. A starless twilight-blue sky hung over the dark sea. They sat on the bench that overlooked the water. Nico opened two beers and handed one to Trey.
“What you need, brother, is a plan,” Nico said.
“We had a plan. That’s how I ended up in this situation.”
“Plan B. Yep. We need a plan B.”
“What do you suggest?” Trey took a long pull from his beer.
“Clearly, I have the worst luck with women in the entire vast universe, so I’m not really the one to help come up with a way out of the mess we made. I’m thinking honesty is the only way out.”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. You should have seen the hurt look on her face.” His throat went dry, remembering the way her eyes had stared at him, like a puppy left on the side of the road by its beloved best friend. “She took this as a betrayal. The one thing she thought I’d never do.”
“You want me to talk to her?” Nico asked.
“If any of us do that, it should be Stone. He’s her brother. She has to love him, no matter how many stupid things he does.”
“Shouldn’t that be how all love is? Unconditional? Even when we make mistakes, we’re still loved? If she truly loves you, she’ll see this for what it is. An attempt to win her heart. I truly believe that someday she’ll see this as romantic.”
Trey thought about that for a moment. “That’s not how it works in real life.”
“Sometimes it does. We don’t see it that way because our fathers made their love conditional. ‘Do as I say, or I can’t love you.’ They made those rules, and when we didn’t abide by them, they rejected us.”
A sadness enveloped him, crushed his hope. Maybe he was too damaged to have the life with Autumn he so craved. He drank from his beer and watched the tide creeping ever so slightly over the sand. Soon, it would be high tide. Too late to save any of the sandcastles that had taken beach dwellers all day to make. They would be trodden under the inevitable tides of the sea.
“Come on, man. Let’s take a walk,” Nico said.
“I don’t feel like it.” He tipped his beer and took another long drink.
“Let’s walk up to Autumn’s house. The wedding shower is probably over. Maybe she’s cooled off by now. You know you won’t rest easy until you’ve got this worked out.”
“She doesn’t want to see me.”
“By now, she’ll have softened, maybe even forgiven you. I see the way you two are together. She loves you. This is going to be fine. I promise.”
He got to his feet and accepted another beer from Nico’s outstretched hand. “If you say so.”
“That’s the spirit.” Nico slapped his back as they started down the cement pathway that ran parallel to the beach. “We’re fighters, remember?”
Trey shrugged and let out a long sigh. “Right now, I feel like a loser.”
“No way. You’re the best guy I know. Let’s go get the girl.”
16
Autumn
* * *
Autumn had managed to get through Pepper’s wedding shower without bursting into tears. Still, she’d sighed with relief when the last guest left, leaving her alone with Pepper and Violet, who had stayed behind to help clean up. The party had been a success, with many laughs, great food, and crisp California chardonnay in their glasses. The three of them put away the leftover food and cleared the table and scrubbed the kitchen. Pepper and Violet chatted away, but Autumn only half listened, responding with polite murmurs when it seemed appropriate.
All day the sky had been a vivid blue, with temperatures in the mid-seventies. Autumn had opened both French doors. As they enjoyed appetizers and wine, guests had mingled in the great room and on the patio. A breeze off the water had filled the air with the salty scent of the sea.
Pepper had asked that guests bring only white elephant gifts. They’d sat around her in the living room as she opened each package, howling with laughter when she opened a cera
mic fertility goddess, his and her throw pillows edged with pink faux fur, a pregnancy test, Twister bedsheets, and a baby doll lingerie set adorned with feathers.
When they had her house put back in order, Pepper grabbed another bottle of wine and suggested they sit outside on the patio. Violet sighed with pleasure when she sat in one of the chairs arranged under the umbrella. “This is such a treat to be out of the house. No one’s asked for milk or apple juice all afternoon.”
Pepper lifted the cork from the bottle. “You deserve an afternoon off.”
Violet, slim and fit from teaching and practicing yoga, did not look as though she had four children. She wore her light brown hair long and fixed in loose waves. Today, she wore a white sundress that showed off her brown eyes and caramel skin.
“Kyle’s a great help, but he’s so busy with work that some days are challenging,” Violet said. “I love my brood, but it’s nice to get away, too.”
“What happened with Dakota’s testing?” Pepper asked, referring to Violet and Kyle’s son’s aptitude test. His teacher suspected he was gifted and wanted him enrolled in a special school for exceptional children.
Violet frowned. “He tested off the charts. Now they’re bugging us to send him to that school in the city.”
“You’re not thinking of it, are you?” Pepper asked.
Violet shook her head. “There’s no way we would ever send him away from us. Our home is here. We believe strongly that it’s better for him to stay with his family and in regular school. I should never have had him tested. It’s not like we didn’t already know he’s smart.”
“Agreed,” Autumn said. “He’s much too young to be sent away.”
“Right?” Violet said. “I don’t care how wonderful that school is, nothing replaces family.”
“True.” Autumn looked out to the dark sea and sighed.
Pepper crossed her arms over her chest and looked directly at Autumn. “What gives?”
“Pardon me?”
“Something’s wrong.” Violet’s gentle brown eyes were sympathetic as she patted her on the shoulder. “You can’t hide from your sisters.”
The tears she’d managed to keep inside burst from her eyes. “It’s Trey.” She proceeded to tell them the entire story, including their wonderful night, Trey’s fake profile, and their subsequent fight. “He left this morning and I haven’t talked to him all day.”
Violet’s had widened in obvious shock. “You poor thing.”
“It was Stone’s idea,” Pepper blurted out.
Autumn went hot with new anger. “Pepper, you knew?”
“After the fact.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“How could I?” Pepper asked. “I mean, they’d gone all in by then. Plus, Stone begged me not to. They really thought this was a good idea.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” Autumn said. “I feel stupid.”
“No, don’t feel that way,” Pepper said. “None of this is your fault. Trey meant well, but how they even thought this up, I cannot fathom.” Pepper’s eyes sparked with her trademark fire. “They’re idiots.”
“Men are so dumb sometimes,” Violet said.
“Especially when they’re trying to avoid speaking about their feelings,” Autumn said.
“That was a huge part of this,” Pepper said. “Trey didn’t know how to tell you how he felt. You’d shot him down when he brought it up, which spooked him.”
“That, and he and the guys thought creating a scarred man would somehow show me that my own scars didn’t make me unlovable.”
“They’re complete fools,” Violet said in her usual soft tone. “I don’t suppose my husband was involved?”
“No. It was just the Wolves,” Autumn said.
“Good. Now I won’t have to go home and throttle him,” Violet said.
They all laughed, breaking the tension.
“I’m sorry, Autumn,” Pepper said.
“I know you are. You didn’t do anything. None of you did, other than try and help your friends figure out what was right in front of our faces all along.” Autumn gazed out to the sea. High tide was coming in, destroying sandcastles and filling holes dug by happy children earlier in the day. She turned back to Pepper and Violet. “Do you know what he said to me after he accidentally told me that he was actually Art?”
“I can’t imagine,” Violet said.
“He asked why it was I could tell Art my deepest feelings and not him,” Autumn said.
Pepper scrunched up her face and sucked in her upper lip. “Well, it’s not a terrible question.”
“Really?” Autumn asked. “Because I thought the more relevant question was how he could possibly think it was a good idea to lie to me.”
“Well, sure. That too,” Pepper said, quietly. “But it might be worth examining the other.”
Violet tilted her head one way, then the other. “Was there a quality about Art that made it easier to talk to than Trey?”
Autumn considered the question. What quality had come through in the emails that had made it so easy to be intimate with Art? Or Trey. Art was Trey, she reminded herself. “Like Trey, writing my feelings is easier than saying them out loud. Maybe that was the trouble between us.”
“And emailing took your relationship to a more intimate place,” Violet said.
“In the emails, he told me he was in love with his best friend,” Autumn said. “Which was me. It’s all so confusing.”
“I’m the queen of screwing up my life,” Pepper said. “So I’m not really one to talk. However, it seems to me that there’s only one thing that truly matters. You two love each other. The rest of this is noise. Can you forgive him?” Pepper asked.
“I already have. I just had to get over my initial anger,” Autumn said. “Actually, in some ways it’s funny.”
“Romantic too,” Violet said.
A movement on the far corner of the patio startled her. A man stood at the base of the stairs that led to the grass. She gasped, realizing it was the same man she’d seen the other morning. Before she could move, he ran up the stairs and crossed over to them, then lifted one side of his windbreaker to reveal a revolver.
Pepper let out a scream, but Violet seemed to be in the same state as Autumn: mute and frozen.
“Get up, nice and easy, and go into the house.” His voice, coarse and low, sounded like a smoker. He had a bulbous nose and a puffy face.
Autumn glanced at Pepper, who nodded and stood, then pulled Violet from her chair. The man motioned with his free hand. “Go ahead. I’ll follow you.”
Pepper, practically dragging Violet, went first. Autumn followed, but in her fright, she twisted one ankle, and the open-backed sandal on her weaker side slipped from her foot. The man shoved her forward. “Leave it. Get inside.”
When they were in the house, the man waved the gun at them. “Sit on the couch.”
When they were seated, side by side, so close Autumn could feel Pepper trembling, he slammed the French doors closed and locked them. He turned back to them. “Good girls.” Keeping the gun and his gaze focused on them, he twisted slightly to pull the shades down.
Autumn slipped her hand into Pepper’s, who did the same to Violet’s.
“What do you want?” Pepper’s voice sound pinched and breathless.
The man sat in one of chairs opposite the couch. He was a big man, with skinny legs and a protruding belly. She guessed he was close to sixty, with a receding hairline and stringy gray hair that hung too long in the back, as if he thought it was still 1989. “What is it you young people say?” he asked. “It’s complicated?”
The three of them were quiet, waiting.
“Do you have any whiskey?” he asked.
Autumn nodded and pointed to the cabinet where she kept the liquor. Trey had found it for her, a farmhouse cupboard from the 1800s that he’d refinished and painted white. “I have scotch, not whiskey.” For Trey and the other Wolves.
Trey. What if this man killed her and
she never got to say she was sorry?
They watched as he went to the cupboard and picked up the bottle of scotch and a tumbler, all with one hand. The other continued to hold the gun. Pepper’s eyes were narrowed, as if contemplating jumping him. Autumn shook her head no. Not yet. Wait until he’s drunk.
“What’s your name?” Autumn asked. She knew from years with her father that it was best to ask drunks questions. Get them talking about themselves. Drinking and talking would weaken them.
The man sat back down in the chair. “Stanley Tipton.” He indicated with a jut of his chin toward Violet. “You might recognize my last name. My daughter worked for you.”
“Oh my God,” Violet whispered. “You’re Mel’s father?”
“That’s right. My baby girl. You and your husband killed her.”
“She kidnapped our children. The police killed her, not us,” Violet said, her voice stronger now.
“Who pulled the trigger is not important,” Stanley said. “You and Kyle Hicks killed her. And now I’ve come for revenge.”
An icy dread rushed through Autumn’s veins. Pepper’s grip on her hand tightened.
Violet made a sound between a whimper and a gasp before she exploded with a rush of words. “Revenge? Your daughter stole my three-year-old son and infant out of their beds. She took them to the middle of nowhere and threatened to hurt them if my husband didn’t run away with her. What did we do that deserves revenge?”
“Your husband is a known womanizer. I did my homework on him. He seduced my baby girl and then dumped her. What was she supposed to do?”
To Autumn’s surprise, Violet didn’t back down. She leaned forward slightly and practically spat words at him. “The entire time she worked for us, she did nothing but hit on Kyle. He had no interest in her. The two of us were falling in love then. She was nothing to him but an employee.”
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