by Apollo Surge
***
He found Alicia and she gathered Serena, Jacob, Mateo, Paul, Cuvier, Daphne and Russell and they crowded into the dining room as Sawyer explained all that he'd learned. A fearful silence hung over the dining room as he finished.
"Did the Unseelie suggest any way to stop this from happening?" Cuvier asked, hopeful, and Sawyer shook his head.
"What about the Council?" Alicia asked, turning to Serena. "Have you heard anything?"
"Nothing for days," Serena admitted with clear reluctance. "Radio silence. No one I know has heard from them either. I even tried the personal number of the wizard in Delhi who helped us with the Erlking. His voicemail box was full."
"I have been watching the shifter forum as well," Mateo spoke up, his face lined with anxiety. "And a few other sites I found through it. Chatrooms for near-fae and other nonhumans. There are a few other sanctuaries like this in the country that people have flocked too, but outside them things have gone silent. Page after page of people who made it to a sanctuary trying to contact those that didn't."
"I spoke to my family earlier today," Jacob spoke up. "Both my parents in the Far Northern pack, and my brothers who are with the Eurasian pack and the South African packs. The good news is that, before last week, the boundaries only appeared to be compromised here. The Fae hadn't been able to enter those territories."
"What happened last week?" Sawyer asked, not wanting to know the answer.
"The pack in South Africa that my oldest brother is staying with sent a scout to check on a nearby pack that fell out of communication and found the territory had been overrun. The handful of survivors managed to retreat behind wards and have kept the territory from being taken, but they are in much the same situation we are now. We don't know how the Fae breached the boundaries, but the other packs believe it had to do with taking in refugees. They're turning away any non-wolf shifters now."
Sawyer put his face into his hands as murmurs of dismay traveled around the table.
"Apparently the European packs feel the same," Jacob continued. "No word from South America. The Australian pack hasn't been seen for decades, so no change there. The South East Asian and Polynesian packs have been stringently isolationist for the past hundred years and now no one can find them. We aren't even sure where their territories are. My brother in the Eurasian pack says it's in crisis. Their Alphas can't reach consensus on a policy and the pack itself, which is the largest single pack in the world if you recall, is dividing into factions, threatening to separate entirely. The Alphas have responded violently out of fear that splitting into smaller groups will increase risk of the entire massive territory being compromised."
"Jesus," Alicia murmured, and Serena put an arm around her, her face pale.
"Do you think that's really the cause?" Russell asked, eyes round with worry. "Is it because of us?"
"No," Sawyer said quickly, tensing up at the thought of that idea spreading. "Definitely not. There were already Fae on the mountain before Cuvier and his people arrived. It has nothing to do with letting other shifters in."
"Not other shifters perhaps," Cuvier said thoughtfully, frowning. "But the near-fae can't be ignored as a security risk. They often don't have a choice but to obey the Fey that turned them."
"That isn't true," Russell said, his worry clear on his face. "Maybe if they'd been snatched up by the Courts, but if they're on the run they're not being controlled by anyone. They're just people."
"But how do you know they were never taken by the Courts?" Cuvier pointed out. "Do you think the Fey are incapable of planting spies? They could have turned and bound someone and ordered them to lie, to come here and open the way for them somehow."
"What do you know about the three in your group, Russell?" Daphne asked, a concerned frown on her face.
"They're children," Russell said, horrified. "My son met them playing videogames for God's sake!"
"And like I said," Sawyer said loudly, before Cuvier could push this any further. "The Fae were already through the barriers before any of you arrived! There is no way it's connected! Everyone is just scared and looking for something to blame and I fucking get it, all right? But if we start turning on each other now we're just doing the Fae's job for them. So stop it. We're all on the same side. We're all freaked out. Don't make it worse."
The table fell quiet and Sawyer put his face in his hands again. He could have gone to sleep right here. He was so tired.
"So what do we do?" Serena asked quietly. She was answered by a long silence. Sawyer slowly gathered himself and sat up straighter, trying to return to that place of resigned indifference, if only so despair wouldn't overwhelm him.
"We tell our people," he said at last. "We give it to them honestly but gently. They need to understand the stakes, but we don't want a panic. Let them know that everyone is working together and then give them something to do. We need a plan before we go to them, so that we can tell them right away what we're doing to prepare and why and how they can help."
"What are we doing to prepare?" Cuvier asked. "What are we preparing for, if the world is about to end?"
"It doesn't matter," Sawyer said. "We just need something to focus on, to stay busy, to feel like we're in control and doing something."
"Correct me if I'm wrong," Daphne put in. "But there is still a chance the world may not end, isn't there? As I understand it, there's an equal likelihood that only this place will be destroyed. In that case, would it not be wiser to abandon this area now?"
"If the pack abandons the territory the Fae will be able to move in and take it without resistance," Jacob explained. "As long as there is one living pack member here laying claim to the territory, they can't access the ancestral magic stored in the land. If we leave, it's a free for all. And there is still a significant chance the Unseelie will be unable to execute such a plan regardless. Their power is waning currently. By Midsummer they will be at their weakest. And even if the Seelie don't know what the Unseelie are planning, they are likely to impede the Unseelie's efforts to do anything out of pure spite."
"Then you think it's inevitable that the Seelie will take victory at Midsummer?" Daphne asked.
"I didn't say that," Jacob backtracked quickly. "Just that it's not the most likely scenario."
"But it is the only scenario in which there is a chance the world will not end," Daphne replied. "And therefore the only one we can reasonably plan for. In which case, the most logical choice would be for one of your pack to remain here to hold the territory while the rest of us evacuate."
"We cannot ask them to make such a sacrifice," Cuvier said at once. "After all they have sacrificed for us already! And where would we go? Back on the run, to watching our friends and family be picked off one by one, hoping the Unseelie kill us before the Seelie enslave us?"
"We could go north," Daphne argued. "He said the Far Northern pack's defenses haven't been compromised yet."
"It would be a foolish gamble to expect that we would even make it there in time. And a further gamble to expect them to allow us in!"
"Is it better to sit here and wait for death?"
"Isn't there something else we can do?" Russell interrupted, his hands in his hair. "There's got to be some way we can stop this. Something we can do besides sitting here waiting for the world to end!"
"I can do some research," Serena said quietly, her arms still around Alicia. "I haven't had a lot of success so far, but..."
"If we can figure out why the treaty isn't keeping them out anymore and fix it, maybe everything will go back to normal," Mateo said hopefully.
"It's better than doing nothing," Alicia agreed.
Sawyer began to nod off as the others discussed preparations and possibilities, the exhaustion of multiple shifts and running for his life catching up with him, compounded by the fatigue of pregnancy and the deep soul-weariness that had settled into his bones after the conversation with Elliot.
Jacob woke him gently as the meeting ended. It was still early eve
ning, but Sawyer headed directly for his room.
Jacob saw him up the stairs and to his door. Sawyer didn't know if he was more relieved or disappointed that Elliot wasn't there when he opened it.
"I noticed Elliot didn't make it the meeting," Jacob said quietly, sympathy in his expression.
"I already told him everything," Sawyer said, still standing in the doorway of his empty room. "He said he didn't want to be involved."
Jacob shook his head, his expression heavy with disappointment.
"And you and he are...?"
Sawyer shrugged, hopeless.
"I don't know," he said. "It doesn't matter. I was stupid to think it could work. I guess it's a good thing I didn't bond with him after all."
Jacob frowned, half reached for Sawyer, then stopped himself.
"It wasn't stupid," he said. "I don't know what else is going on between you or why he would do this, but I know he loved you. I know you loved him too. Even if this is the end of that relationship, it wasn't meaningless. It wasn't pointless. To be loved that way, even for a short time, is always worth it."
Sawyer sniffled, his eyes burning, and fought to reach numbness again. Instead, Jacob reached for him again and didn't hesitate this time. He pulled Sawyer into his arms, holding him close while he shook and struggled to regain control of himself. Jacob's arms were warm and steady and demanded nothing. Sawyer knew he should be grateful to have Jacob in his life. Mateo and Alicia and Serena and Paul too. But even now he couldn't trust their friendship and affection. They were just one more thing that could be taken away from him.
When Sawyer pulled away Jacob let go immediately, and Sawyer pretended not to see the flicker of longing in the other man's eyes.
"Thank you," Sawyer murmured, not looking at Jacob. "Good night."
"Good night, Sawyer," Jacob said, his voice soft with sympathy and with feelings they had both already decided not to indulge.
Sawyer closed the bedroom door behind him and fell heavily into bed, unconscious before his head hit the pillow, which spared him at least the indignity of crying himself to sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
In dreams, he ran through the forest again. The search party lights made white prison bars against the darkness behind him, but he ignored them, and the dark figure always beside him, murmuring, "it is lost, lost."
Instead he called for Elliot. He shouted himself hoarse crying for the other man, searching for him through the trees. He ran until his feet were raw. He couldn't remember why he was searching for the Alpha. Something had happened, or was going to happen. As soon as his memory supplied the Seelie Fae and Midsummer, the forest burst into flames.
He fled, fur smoking and paws burning, through the inferno. Meteors screamed like mortar shells falling through the air, shattering the forest into burning pieces. Sawyer screamed Elliot's name, and couldn't hear himself over the explosions and the roar of the fire. He saw Rita and Mike, trapped by the flames, and he pulled them out, trying to herd them on toward safety. But he couldn't keep track of both of them at once. One would stumble and he took his eyes off the other for a second, only to look up and find them lost or trapped again or fallen behind. He ran around in circles, making no progress while the flames grew higher, frantically trying to keep them alive. He still shouted for Elliot with every other breath. Where was he? Why wasn't he helping? Sawyer couldn't do this alone!
Suddenly, the smoke cleared, and Sawyer saw him. Elliot stood, human, maybe thirty feet away in a blazing clearing. He looked at Sawyer with eyes empty of all feeling, like he was looking at a stranger.
"Oh, right," Sawyer thought, as fiery light like an atomic blast grew on the horizon behind Elliot and raced toward them, too fast to escape. "Never mind."
Just before the fire could engulf him, something caught him around the waist and yanked him backwards.
Suddenly he was standing in a meadow, surrounded by flowers. It was a warm day, but there was no fire. The sky was cornflower blue. There were no meteors, no explosions. He looked down, and there were no children holding his hands.
"You should thank me for pulling you out of that one," someone said. "Nightmares are a trip. I've never had one, actually. We don't dream. Just one of those fascinating pointless things humans do."
Sawyer turned slowly to look at Goldenrod, who was floating casually a few feet above the flowers, reclining as though on a couch, his golden hair hanging straight down like a beam supporting him.
"What do you want?" Sawyer asked, sighing as lucidity returned to him and he realized he was dreaming again. He was glad not to be in a burning forest anymore, but at the same time he would have preferred to dream a while longer without remembering his situation, and how deeply tired he was.
"Oh, the usual," Goldenrod replied with a casual shrug, examining his nails. "Sex, food, an endless summer."
"So you're just here to bother me," Sawyer said. "Got it. Can you put me back in the burning forest now?"
"You'll be able to see all that again soon enough," Goldenrod said with a dismissive wave. "Why not enjoy yourself for a little while before you have to deal with all that again?"
"I would enjoy returning to my regularly scheduled nightmare, thanks," Sawyer said dryly.
"Grumpy tonight, aren't you?" Goldenrod said, giving a Sawyer a scathing look as he rolled over in the air, propping his chin up on his hands. "Do you recall the last time we talked?"
Sawyer thought about it for a moment, still recalling only pieces of the previous dream. "Barely. I'll probably forget this one as soon as I wake up too. I guess you're just not terribly memorable."
"Careful," Goldenrod said, a glint of anger in his eye. "Insulting the Fae is widely considered to be a bad idea."
"What are you going to do?" Sawyer said, opening his arms to the Seelie man. "Destroy the world? It's kind of hard to top that as far as threats go. Want to give me a really crappy nightmare? Curse my family name? Go for it! I and everyone I know will be dead soon anyway so I really do not give a shit."
"Nihilism is so tedious," Goldenrod muttered, rolling over to put his back to Sawyer. Sawyer threw his hands up in frustrated surrender, turned around, and walked back into the trees. He almost immediately emerged into the clearing again from the other side. Goldenrod waved.
"What do you want?" Sawyer demanded again, louder this time.
"To make you an offer," the Fae replied. "A bargain."
Sawyer crossed his arms and waited.
"You know, you're so much cuter when you're silent," Goldenrod said with a smile. Sawyer scowled. "I love that spirit. It would be so entertaining to train out of you. I could stay busy for a century at least just teaching you to sit and stay like a good little dog."
"Get to the point," Sawyer demanded, skin crawling.
"I am," Goldenrod said with a grin. "The point is that I am not in a hurry for the world to end. I rather enjoy the world. I enjoy little spitfires like you, and how you break. I enjoy human ingenuity! All the clever ideas you come up with- films and religion and so many delightful ways of torturing one another. I especially enjoy human food! Nothing like it in the universe. Fairy food is a pale imitation. Literally, it's an imitation of human food. Fae don't need to eat, we picked it up from you."
"The point, Goldenrod."
"It's like you're not even listening to me," Goldenrod griped. "I'm trying to offer you a way out. No Seelie victory, no end of the world. Everything goes back to normal, including your little farm and all your annoying little friends."
Sawyer's skin prickled with suspicion. It was too good an offer to be true.
"And what do you get out of it?" he asked.
"You," Goldenrod replied, grinning. "Give yourself to me - and, just to be clear, I mean completely, all your rights and freedoms and property, everything you are - and I will repair the caveat currently allowing Fae to enter this territory. With no way to access the mountain or its power, the Courts will quickly move on to hounding some other potential power source and
the danger will pass. For another few centuries at least. I mean, we all know the Seelie will triumph someday but it doesn't have to be anytime soon. Let your descendants worry about that."
Sawyer shivered as the magnitude of the offer slowly dawned on him. He could think of few things more terrifying than being literally enslaved to the Fae, particularly Goldenrod, but if it could end the war over the mountain... Sawyer hesitated as something occurred to him.
"And how exactly will you do that?" Sawyer asked. "My understanding of the Fae isn't exactly great, but I'm pretty sure you, and all the rest of your Court, literally can't help but do everything in your power to ensure Seelie victory. So how exactly are you going to convince them to just give up? How are you even able to make this offer?"
"Unimportant questions," Goldenrod said with a huff. "I wouldn't be able to make the offer if I couldn't uphold my end of the bargain. Now, are you interested or not? Time is short."
"You mean you wouldn't be able to make the offer unless it was in the best interests of Seelie victory," Sawyer gathered.
"All right, so you don't like the terms of the deal," Goldenrod said impatiently. "Fine. It's clear your tastes run more to mutts anyway. But, luckily, I'm feeling generous. So, new offer! Same as before on my side. I restore the boundaries of your territory, the world doesn't end, you get to go about your merry little life. In return you give me..."
Goldenrod scratched his chin as he thought for a moment, the pantomime obvious.
"Ah, I know! How about that little parasite you're carrying?" Goldenrod said, pointing at Sawyer's stomach. "By which I mean the baby of course, not any tapeworms you may or may not have. As I understand it you've been waffling about getting rid of the thing for months anyway. And if things continue as they are you won't have time to name the damn thing before the world ends anyway. So, let me do you a favor. I'll remove the pest, end the war and, hopefully, be one step closer to my ultimate goal of earning your affections."
