by E. L. Todd
“Over here.” Shane led the way. “I guess having a nice guy isn’t so bad after all…” He gave Denise a knowing look.
She hooked her arm through his. “Not at all.”
I walked behind them and didn’t bother checking for Arsen.
“Silke!”
I recognized his voice but kept walking.
His hand gripped my wrist. “Where are you running off to?” He pulled me to him.
“Sorry? Are you talking to me now?” I gave him as much attitude as possible.
Denise and Shane stopped and stared at us.
I knew this would take a while. “Arsen will take me home. Don’t worry about us.”
Denise gave me a sad look before she walked away with Shane.
“Excuse me?” Arsen said. “You were just going to take off without telling me where you were going?”
“Were you going to spend our date with me or that chick?” I demanded.
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get jealous…”
“I’m not jealous,” I hissed. “I’m pissed off that you were rude. You were gone for twenty minutes and you were supposed to get to know Denise better. If you want to make a good first impression, don’t flirt with some bimbo by the bathroom. You made yourself look like an ass.”
“I wasn’t flirting—”
“Shut up.” I held up my hand. “You want to be with me, Arsen? You want to or not?”
He clenched his jaw.
“Is that a yes? Then get your shit together.”
“She’s one of my buyers.” His words came out barely audible.
“What the hell does that mean?” I snapped.
“She buys weed from me.” He put his hands in his pockets.
“That still doesn’t mean anything to me. You can talk to your clients on your own time.”
“Well, she wanted to buy a few ounces and I happened to have some on me. Why turn down a great opportunity?”
My eyes snapped wide open. “You were selling drugs on our date?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he argued. “It just happened. If some woman wanted to buy a piece of art from you, would you turn her down because you were at dinner?”
“Not the same thing and you know it, Arsen! What you did was illegal.”
“Technically, selling a sculpture would be too,” he snapped. “You need a business license to do that. The government needs their taxes.”
I hated it when he was a smart ass. “You want me to slap you?”
“I don’t give a damn. Do it.” He stepped closer. “You have a weak arm anyway.”
“I can knee you in the balls instead, if you like?”
“I’m calling your bluff, Silke.”
He had me.
“You know what I do for a living. The fact I did it one time in your presence shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“But it is when you’re trying to get along with my friends.”
He glared at me. “What happened to wanting to be with me no matter what anyone says? Were you just pulling that out of your ass?”
“Of course not.”
“Then you need to chill out.”
“I need to chill out?” I asked. “You could have done your business in two minutes. You didn’t need to be gone that long.”
“Well, she wouldn’t shut up and I was waiting for her to pay me.”
“You’re a drug dealer,” I hissed. “You should be able to figure out how to speed things along.”
“Well, she and I kinda have a history…”
That just pissed me off even more. “You slept with her?”
He held my gaze and didn’t look away. “I’ve slept with a lot of people. That isn’t news.”
“Fuck you, Arsen.” I marched off and hoped he wouldn’t follow me.
He caught up to me. “What? You want me to lie?”
“No. I want you to go back in time and erase what just happened. That’s what I want.”
He sighed and kept walking with me. “Don’t be jealous. She’s got nothing on you, Silke.”
I turned around and got in his face. “I’m not jealous. How many times do I have to say that? I don’t care whom you talk to or what you do. I just want you to make an effort for a damn hour. Just an hour!” I stormed off again.
He blocked my path. “Silke, calm down.”
“Just leave me alone, Arsen. I don’t want to see you right now.” I tried to walk around him again.
He gripped me then pulled me back in front of him. “I made it clear this wouldn’t be easy. Our relationship would be an ordeal. You need to be patient with me. I didn’t realize I was doing anything wrong. Now I know and I won’t do it again. Okay?”
He had a point. I promised I would take baby steps with him, but when he pissed me off, my anger got to me.
“I wasn’t flirting with her,” he said firmly. “I don’t flirt with anyone but you. You’re the only girl on the back of my bike, in my bed, and in my thoughts.”
It was one of the sweetest things I’d heard him say. “I never thought otherwise, Arsen.”
“Then why are you jealous?”
“Like I said a hundred times, I’m not jealous. I was pissed off you were being rude. That’s all. If I were jealous, I would have marched over there and told her where to go. But I didn’t.”
“Really?” His anger softened.
“Really.”
His shoulders relaxed and a slight smile formed on his mouth. “That means a lot to me.”
I moved into his chest and rested my head against him. His arms circled me and held me close. His chin rested on my head. People passed us on the sidewalk while we held each other close.
“Can I take you home now?” he whispered.
I nodded.
“Then let’s go.”
***
We got into bed then turned off all the lights. Arsen wrapped his body around mine and held me close. Whenever I was in his arms, I felt relaxed, like I was sleeping on a cloud. I loved feeling his naked skin against mine. His natural scent came into my nose and made me feel safe. The nights spent with him were the best of my life.
“Beauty?” His lips were pressed to my ear.
“Hmm?”
“You’re on the pill, right?”
“I already told you that.” I kept my eyes closed, feeling tired.
His hand moved under my t-shirt and to my stomach. “Well, I’m not sleeping with anyone else and neither are you.”
“What’s your point?” I yawned.
“I want to feel you…without wearing anything.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him over my shoulder. “I do too.”
He pressed his lips to my ear. “You’re ready for that?”
“If you are.”
“I’ve been ready for a while, before you dragged all that mushy shit out of me.” He gave me a playful smirk.
“Well, you just told me you’ve slept with all of Boston,” I said. “Are you clean”
He nodded. “I get checked pretty often.” He didn’t ask the same question of me.
“Aren’t you going to ask me the same question?”
He kept smiling. “Why? You’re a good girl.”
“I am not,” I argued.
“It’s not offensive.” He kissed my neck. “I like that you’re a good girl.”
“I don’t know what I did to give you that impression, but I’m definitely on the opposite end of the spectrum. I’ve been around…”
He moved on top of me then dug one hand into my hair. His face was an inch from mine. His warm breath fell on my skin, making me melt. A distant light burned in his eyes, a playfulness just for me. “Oh really?”
“Yes, really,” I said firmly.
“How many?”
Huh? “How many what?”
His grin stretched. “If you don’t know what that question implies, then you haven’t been around.”
“No, I do,” I lied. “I just want to make sure you know what it means.”
>
He chuckled. “How many guys have you slept with, beauty?” He let the question linger in the air. “Give me a number.”
What was a lot? Five? What should I say? “Um…too many to count.”
He tried not to laugh. “Come on, bad girl. Fess up.”
“A hundred…”
Arsen wasn’t buying it. “You want me to go first?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to know.”
“I’m not going to judge you, Silke. You can tell me.”
Judge me because the number was pathetic? “One…” I felt the redness flood my cheeks.
He smiled in victory. “One other guy before me?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “No. Just one.”
His face changed into one I didn’t recognize. His eyes lost their light and he didn’t blink. The room became dead silent. Neither one of us moved. All we did was breathe.
Arsen’s eyes bored into mine, and a different kind of emotion shined through. It was unidentifiable but strong. He swallowed the lump in his throat while he stared at me, a thousand thoughts going through his head.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. I was surprised he hadn’t figured it out in the beginning. I tried so hard to be confident and cool. I just wanted to be what he wanted me to be. The moment I laid eyes on him, I wanted him. It was a sensation I couldn’t explain. I just had to have him, and for some reason, I knew he was mine forever, even if it seemed so unlikely.
He took a deep breath and the emotion was undeniable. “Silke…why me?” His eyes shined in the darkness, a coat of moisture forming. His hand fisted my hair more tightly, trying to hold onto me like I might slip away. He held himself up on one elbow, and his legs were in between mine.
I felt the stubble of his chin with my hand then moved up his jaw. His blue eyes were beautiful and cold like the artic, but if you looked long enough, you could see them change and become heated like a desert. There was so much more to Arsen than he let people see. Only I got to see the real him. And he was wonderful, passionate, and perfect, despite all his flaws. I was probably stupid for feeling this way about him, and maybe one day that would become a painful regret, but that fear couldn’t stop my heart from beating for him. My thumb brushed over his bottom lip then I moved my fingers through his brown hair. “You know why.”
Chapter Two
Conrad
“Tapped Beatrice yet?” Theo asked while he opened his beer. He leaned back on my couch and watched TV.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about her since I last saw her. “No. And I’m not going to.”
He turned his head toward me so fast he must have gotten whiplash. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t want to tell him what she told me. It was too personal. Besides, I promised I’d keep her secret.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He was on the edge of his seat. “And why didn’t you mention it sooner? I’ve seen you every day this week and you never brought it up.”
I shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been thinking about it a lot.”
“So…what happened?”
“She just…she…has some issues. She’s been through a lot. All she wants is to be friends, and honestly, I think that’s all she can handle. So I’ll settle for her friendship.”
His eyes were wide. “So…that’s it? You’re done?”
“We’re not done,” I said firmly. “We were never anything to begin with. So, we’ll be friends from now on. And only friends.”
“Wow…all that work for nothing?”
“I wouldn’t say that. She’s really cool and I don’t mind hanging out with her. It’s not the end of the world. In fact, I’m glad she told me her…personal stuff. It meant a lot to me.”
He took a long drink of his beer. “If you say so.”
I watched the game again and tried not to think about her.
“Back on the prowl, then?”
“I guess so.” I hadn’t thought about it much. I finished my beer then left the bottle on the table.
“Does she even like you?” he asked. “She really just sees you as a friend? Is she gay?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious.”
“I know she has feelings for me…but I think her need for distance and space is stronger.”
“Why don’t you guys just hook up?” he asked. “Everyone wins.”
“She’s not like that,” I said frankly. “She’s very conservative.”
“All the gorgeous ones are…” He shook his head.
We went back to watching the game, but I kept thinking about Beatrice and what she told me. The fact she told me something so traumatic made me realize she valued me as a person in her life and a friend.
“Want to order a pizza?” Theo asked.
“Huh?” His voice shattered my thoughts.
He smirked. “Still hung up on her, huh?”
I grabbed another beer and didn’t say anything.
***
I was watching TV when my phone vibrated.
Hey, how are you?
I stared at Beatrice’s name, feeling my heart rate increase. I hadn’t texted her because I didn’t want to bother her. But I was surprised she reached out to me. Well. How are you?
Hungry.
I smirked, imagining her beautiful face and bright eyes. That makes two of us.
I didn’t see you in the library today.
Because I didn’t go. I didn’t want her to think I was stalking her. If I popped up everywhere she went, it would probably make her uncomfortable. I had to run a few errands.
I see.
Did she text me just to say she noticed I wasn’t in the library? Did she want something from me? This was why I preferred to hang out with men over women. They just blurted what they wanted and there was no confusion. What are you up to?
I just finished watering my garden. What about you?
Sitting on my butt watching TV.
Admirable.
I was glad she was texting me but I preferred to talk in person. I’m going to get a pizza. You want to come? I sent the message and patiently waited for a response.
I’d love to.
Wow, that was easy. Can I pick you up or you just want to meet there?
You can come get me.
She was going to let me see where she lived? We were on a new level of friendship. Send me your address and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
***
Her apartment wasn’t the nicest one in the city. Actually, it was the cheapest one that was close to campus. The building looked old and run-down, and there was concrete everywhere, hardly any trees.
After I parked the truck, she emerged from the stairs. She was wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt, her breasts obvious in the hug of the shirt. Her jeans highlighted her toned thighs and prominent ass.
When I realized what I was thinking, I forced myself to stop. I couldn’t look at her like that, not when she only wanted a friendship from me. I got out then came to her passenger door. “Hey.”
“Hi.” She flashed me a bright smile as I opened the door for her. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” After she got in, I headed back to the driver’s side. “I’m so hungry I could eat a hippo.”
“Word.” She linked her music device with my sound system, and her song selection immediately came in through the speakers. “Now we don’t have to share ear buds.”
“Sweet.” I headed to the pizzeria and tried not to stare at her. Her brown tresses framed her face, and her flat stomach led to wide hips. Her waist was so petite I was certain I could span it all the way around with just my hands. “Was the library boring without my presence?”
“The library is boring either way.”
“Then why do you work there?” I asked.
“It’s quiet. And I like books.”
“You’d probably make good tips as a waitress.”
She
shrugged. “I’ll stick to checking out books.”
I parked in front of the pizzeria and we both headed inside. We sat at a square table with a red and white tablecloth. We picked up our menus and looked at the selections.
“You want to split one?” I asked.
“Depends.”
“On what?” I asked.
“What you like.”
I put the menu down. “I’m not picky. I’ll eat anything.”
“How about a vegetarian pizza?”
“Sure.” I sat up straight in my chair and tried to look at anything besides her. She was gawked at on a daily basis. I didn’t want to remind her of that.
“What’s new with you?” she asked.
“Um…my friend is getting an award for one of her sculptures,” I said. “She’s pretty excited about it.”
“Good for her.”
“Yeah…Theo and I are happy for her.”
She nodded. “You and Theo are really close, huh?”
“We’re pretty much family, actually. Our parents are really close and we were basically raised as siblings.”
“That’s cute,” she said.
“I guess.” I shrugged. “But we have a very big, annoying, and dysfunctional family.”
She chuckled. “Sounds like fun.”
“So, you want to eat here, right?”
“I guess,” she said. “Or we could head back and watch a movie or something.”
I had to remember all these invitations weren’t romantic, just friendly. My hopes got too high and then I crashed. “How about Star Wars?”
“You can’t go wrong with that.”
“Cool.” I waved down the waiter and put the order in.
“I hope I didn’t ruin your evening.”
“Not at all.” When I looked at her, I saw her green eyes flash like emeralds. They were so bright and beautiful, like gems in a treasure chest. Every inch of her was chiseled and perfect, like she was designed to be gorgeous for a reason. Her high cheekbones gave her a splash of elegance, and her voice reminded me of a songbird. Sometimes I wondered if I was hallucinating all these features.
“When you weren’t in the library, it threw my day off.” She said it with a smile.
